Returning to a Religon

[Knight of Ni]

I recently read a sample of Carolyn Jessop's book "Escape". In it she talked about taking her kids in the middle of the night and leaving without telling her husband. She talks about not telling her children where they are going only to get dressed and get in the van. When her daughter, Betty, finds out what is happening she freaks out. She starts screaming about how Carolyn is condemning them to die and how they are disobeying the prophet. I also read that Betty has returned to the FLDS community and has built a life within it saying that she never belonged in the world outside of the FLDS. This is in sharp contrast to another book I read, "Stolen Innocence". In this book it seems that so many women are desperately unhappy within the religion and many of them leave at what they see as their first opportunity. My question why do some people see all that is wrong with the FLDS beliefs and way of life but others view it as the best way to live?

[DarkAnts]

Betty is a pawn who is used when it's convent. She was not living at YFZ before the raid. She came after the raid as a form of PR.

[Knight of Ni]

Interesting. It's been a while since I read about her but I remember the article quoting her saying that she was never happy after her mother took them away and how she was always so different from her new classmates. She also said that her what Carolyn said about her father wasn't true and she couldn't imagine why people would lie.

[Arete]

Betty was also the daughter of an extremely high status father within the FLDS. Essentially a princess in that society. Her mother then takes her from her position of relative privilege into a world where she has no status that she had not decided to go into voluntarily. It had to have been an enormous shock.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Agree with the posts above. She was the favorite daughter of a powerful man. She is treated differently. But her sister, Merriane Jessop (not from Carolyn) was given to Warren Jeffs as his wife at AGE TWELVE. Warren had many underage brides, and he gave girls away to loyal men without a second thought. These are people who often never leave their communities. I remember an article where a lost boy went to the ocean for the first time and was choking because he didn't know it would be salt water. We are talking some seriously sheltered, brainwashed people.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

This is the absolute best place to read about the FLDS:

politicsrusprinciple.tumblr.com/

[E Street Fan]

Betty was also the daughter of an extremely high status father within the FLDS. Essentially a princess in that society. Her mother then takes her from her position of relative privilege into a world where she has no status that she had not decided to go into voluntarily. It had to have been an enormous shock.

Not only that, she was one of her father's favorites. In her book, Carolyn Jessop writes that Betty was Merril Jessop's favorite name, and he'd been saving it for a favorite daughter.

[chaotic life]

Over 50% of Amish teens are baptized Amish. Sociologists who have studied point to the complete cut off from family and community that motivates them to stay.

Extremely isolated groups and cults often have ex-members who want their family and community back at all costs. Even if Betty had issues against FLDS, she would yearn for her community and the position she held within that world.

[Mama Mia]

I think everyone has made very good points about this particular situation.

I think the main thing though in 99% of conceivable lifestyles, no matter how odd or extreme it seems to people outside of it --- will not make every single person miserable. Some of the people involved will not only tolerate it, but thrive. You can't make a cult with just a megalomaniac leader, you need followers. The majority of followers might end up being miserable, or do beaten down they don't even realize they are miserable. Most children born into it may just not realize there is anything else, and be greatly relieved and much happier once they adjust to the outside world. But some people are just going to be genuinely happier and more content with whatever the belief system and lifestyle is.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Betty had a relationship with Carolyn that was mostly antagonistic even at the best of times, according to Carolyn, but I also got the impression that she genuinely missed her friends and loved ones within the FLDS.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if Betty has come to regret going back. Merril Jessop has since been excommunicated from the FLDS and gone into hiding, and many wonder if he is even still alive. Betty herself was sent to work on the YFZ ranch, where she spent long hours cooking and cleaning for the men there (and was also forced to go to bed late and get up at 4 AM every day - sleep deprivation is a newer way of tormenting members of the cult). It's also been speculated that she isn't allowed to marry, even though she's now in her mid-twenties.

I wonder how Betty is doing nowadays, I haven't heard anything recent.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Betty had a relationship with Carolyn that was mostly antagonistic even at the best of times, according to Carolyn, but I also got the impression that she genuinely missed her friends and loved ones within the FLDS.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if Betty has come to regret going back. Merril Jessop has since been excommunicated from the FLDS and gone into hiding, and many wonder if he is even still alive. Betty herself was sent to work on the YFZ ranch, where she spent long hours cooking and cleaning for the men there (and was also forced to go to bed late and get up at 4 AM every day - sleep deprivation is a newer way of tormenting members of the cult). It's also been speculated that she isn't allowed to marry, even though she's now in her mid-twenties.

I wonder how Betty is doing nowadays, I haven't heard anything recent.

Merril Jessop is in a Texas prison, has been for a few years.

gosanangelo.com/news/jessop-performed-15-underage-marriage-ceremonies

According to the inmate locator he has not been paroled, but is scheduled to be released December 2015

[Jana814]

That for the info about this woman. I never got the FDLS. But I can see leaving & then coming back cause u realize the "world" is to hard to deal with.

[samurai_sarah]

Why wouldn't she return? According to "Escape", Betty had a fairly charmed life within the FLDS. She was someone. On the outside, she was a nobody who didn't fit into a society that she had no desire to fit into. But more importantly, she probably truly believes that the FLDS is her way to salvation. Imagine that you're a teenager, and all you know is one way of life, which is the right way of life to you. And suddenly, you're ripped away from all of that, told it's all wrong, and from now on you must live a life you used to revile. Why not go back to the safety that you know?

I can see why Betty returned. It must have been frightening and confusing for her to be taken away, and begin a new life that she didn't want. That doesn't mean that I think she made the right choice, just that I can understand. It's not a choice I would make, but I grew up in a world in which my Catholic family didn't have the one and only truth, thinking differently didn't mean that you'd lose friends and family, and I wasn't anyone to begin with, anyway.

ETA: Sorry, I zoned in on the "why would she return", instead of taking the "why don't others" into account.

[FiddleDD]

Yeah, I remember reading the book and thinking of course she was the daughter who would want to return. She was clearly the favorite daughter who was treated very differently from the other children. I could understand how she could be convinced that none of those awful things happened to anyone because it didn't happen to HER. Especially as a teen it's easier to assume that your experiences are the same as everyone else's.

I've always wondered what happened to her. I hope she's at least happy. It's not her fault she was born to a egomaniac in a cult.

[It'sFunToRun]

http://trenthead.com/2009/01/meeting-betty-jessop/

She's gorgeous. I wonder if she's still treated as a favorite, because her frumper is less ugly that the other girls'. A bit more of a waist and no poofy sleeves or padded shoulders.

[artdecades]

This is the absolute best place to read about the FLDS:

politicsrusprinciple.tumblr.com/

Love that site. Also, mormonhair.tumblr.com

IIRC, around the time she went back, Betty said she would write a book to counter her mom's, but it never happened. I wonder why.