Was Steve Maxwell adopted?

[SPHASH]

After I re-read Susannah's obit I noticed that there was only one Maxwell great-grandparent, Steve's mother. There were several other grandparents so I googled them too, don't know what Granny Thompson's real name is, got nowhere with Robert and Beverly Thompson but Paul and Cecile Bargar I did find something on:

http://www.christensenvanhouten.com/obi ... hp?view=82

[Apparently Paul Bargar is Steve's biological dad:

Paul married Mary Ann Gadbury in 1947. They had two daughters and a son.

Steve and his sisters are mentioned as survivors, along with stepbrothers and stepsister. Paul later remarried.

Mary Maxwell's maiden name was Gadbury, her mother was a missionary and her father worked in the American embassy. She was married to Paul Bargar and later James Maxwell:

http://www.reichmuthfuneralhomes.com/bo ... ituary.php

So James Maxwell must have adopted Steve or did Steve just take his name. Was he the won that ran off with the other woman or was it Paul? And why wasn't James mentioned as a survivor or precedent in death in Susannah's obit while Paul and his new wife was? Where is James now?

According to the obit Paul was an upstanding Christian man, not the type to run off with the neighbor's wife. He did have a FB profile and was your typical teabagging Obama hating Republican:

https://www.facebook.com/paul.bargar

All the Maxwell sons were honorary pallbearers but Steve never mentioned his dad's passing on the blog either.

Steve's sister Lanette is on FB and was friends with Paul, so obviously there is no bad blood between them:

https://www.facebook.com/lanette.forck?fref=ts

Lanette's son is also on FB and is conservative but loves hunting and fishing, a no-no in Uncle Steve's mind.

Steve's stepsiblings and nieces/nephews although conservative politcally and spiritually also like sports, cars, motorcycles etc which means they are normal.

[Jana814]

OMG!!! Thanks for the info!! This very interesting!! Steve never really blogs about his past maybe he is trying to hide it.

[anjulibai]

Wow, very interesting.

It says Paul remarried in 1984. That's not long before Steve went down the rabbit hole - perhaps it contributed?

[Jana814]

Wow, very interesting.

It says Paul remarried in 1984. That's not long before Steve went down the rabbit hole - perhaps it contributed?

Maybe! Did he have to prove something to himself.

[anjulibai]

So Paul died on October 16th of last year. I looked at the blog entries for October. Absolutely nothing to indicate a loss in the family of any sort. Just smiling faces.

On the day Paul died, Sarah posted about getting Moody fan mail. Okay, maybe she hadn't learned of her grandfather's death at that point.

But the next day, when you'd think they wouldn't have learned, Teri does her infamous "God answered my prayer for a cell phone case, isn't God great" post.

On the 20th they did a "Project Time" post with pictures of happy, smiling Maxwells. The 23rd was Dull Meal Planning with Anna.

Nothing on the day of Paul's funeral. Then on the 28th a post about a Mother-Daughters day the Maxwell women had. On the 30th, a post on the changing of the season, followed by a birthday post for Anna on Halloween.

The Maxwells have done posts on the deaths of their neighbors and people in the nursing home they preach at. But nothing mentioning the deaths of Steve's own parents. WTF?

[anjulibai]

Maybe! Did he have to prove something to himself.

It wouldn't surprise me. Seems his whole life is trying to prove something.

[Justme]

Holy crap! Steve's Grandma was a missionary. Both his parents were Christians. It sounds like Steve's parents were perfectly normal. His Mother sounds like a lovely woman, and his Dad sounds like he really loved life.

Boy, has he got a chip on his shoulder, I guess because his parents divorced.

Steve was not brought up in a "non Christian" home. I guess he's lied to himself so much he believes his own lies.

[sparkles]

Wow, that's some impressive sleuthing! I know Steve's talked about how his father basically abandoned the family, but did he ever mention that his parents divorced? My guess is that it was Paul who ran off, not James Maxwell.(He certainly wouldn't be the first "good Christian man" to fall by the wayside, now would he?) I can't imagine why else Steve would have taken another man's last name--if not allowed himself to be adopted--if he didn't harbor a great deal of anger and resentment against his biological father. It doesn't say when his mother remarried, but I have a feeling Steve was probably a teenager.

ETA, I could swear I remember that Steve had a brother or is that my imagination? The one who celebrated Easter so that Steve had to stop letting the families visit one another? Or was that just a hypothetical brother he invented to show how much he's willing to sacrifice for the Lord?

[anjulibai]

I've been trying to find more info on Mrs. Mary and Paul, but can't seem to find a precise time when they split up. They were together until at least 1959, when they were listed as living together in the Fort Dodge city directory. Steve, btw, was born in 1951.

[SPHASH]

Wow, that's some impressive sleuthing! I know Steve's talked about how his father basically abandoned the family, but did he ever mention that his parents divorced? My guess is that it was Paul who ran off, not James Maxwell.(He certainly wouldn't be the first "good Christian man" to fall by the wayside, now would he?) I can't imagine why else Steve would have taken another man's last name--if not allowed himself to be adopted--if he didn't harbor a great deal of anger and resentment against his biological father. It doesn't say when his mother remarried, but I have a feeling Steve was probably a teenager.

ETA, I could swear I remember that Steve had a brother or is that my imagination? The one who celebrated Easter so that Steve had to stop letting the families visit one another? Or was that just a hypothetical brother he invented to show how much he's willing to sacrifice for the Lord?

Steve does have some stepbrothers from Paul's second marriage. Was he referring to them? And if Paul did desert the family, why would Steve's sons serve as pallbearers at the funeral?

[sparkles]

Definitely a lot of strangeness here but I can't imagine why he would have taken Maxwell as a surname (or consented to an adoption) if he still had a relationship with his biological father.

As with most things Maxwell, Steve never tells the whole story.

[SPHASH]

On Ancestry.com he comes up as Steven Ray Bargar. http://records.ancestry.com/steven_ray_ ... =190565255

[Justme]

Yes, I remember the "Easter Egg" story told by Steve. He did mention his "brother". Either his "brother" was the husband of one of his sisters, or his Mothers 2nd husband had son(s). There was no mention of stepsons in Mrs. Mary's obituary. Generally, step kids are mentioned unless there was a "falling out". (Which doesn't seem likely if Steve visited with them on Easter when his children were young.)

mysteries... mysteries.... :fsm:

[anjulibai]

On Ancestry.com he comes up as Steven Ray Bargar. http://records.ancestry.com/steven_ray_ ... =190565255

Oh wow, your Ancestry.com skills are far superior to mine, LOL!

Interesting that his youngest son's, Jesse's, middle name is Paul, but the oldest son's, Nathan's, middle name is James.

[Justme]

On Ancestry.com he comes up as Steven Ray Bargar. http://records.ancestry.com/steven_ray_ ... =190565255

According to Ancestry. Jesse's middle name is PAUL.... You generally don't give your child the name of a parent you despise....

[16strong]

I didn't realize Sarah's middle name is Rae. That is very pretty, and doesn't sound at all Maxwellian. And the bit about Steve's name is interesting.

[SPHASH]

According to Ancestry. Jesse's middle name is PAUL.... You generally don't give your child the name of a parent you despise....

That's true, but Paul is a biblical name and Jesse is a reversal kid which meant he was born after Steve fell down the rabbit hole.

[anjulibai]

I didn't realize Sarah's middle name is Rae. That is very pretty, and doesn't sound at all Maxwellian. And the bit about Steve's name is interesting.

I'm guessing Sarah was named for Steve. Rae is a feminine spelling of Ray, and then they both have S first names.

[SamuraiKatz]

And the plot thickens.... Stevehovah you need the services of a mental health professional. Moreso than Teri whom we already know has untreated depression. And Steve your kids, thanks to your refusal to get help, need counselling as well.. Total jerk move on your part steve.

[anjulibai]

That's true, but Paul is a biblical name and Jesse is a reversal kid which meant he was born after Steve fell down the rabbit hole.

Joseph is a reversal kid, and his middle name is Howard, which is definitely un-Biblical. Christopher's middle name is also not Biblical, being Lloyd (is that Teri's father's name?).

I think Steve would have avoided the name if he felt that strongly about his biological father. Perhaps his feelings are more mixed? Perhaps he just likes saying how awful his father was because it makes his brand sound better?

In anycase, I think Maxhell just got a lot more interesting.

[theologygeek]

In those days, a lot of times kids got adopted by the second husband whether or not they wanted to be. Children with different last names were considered from trashy families and got whispered about. When their stepfather adopted them, the whispering stopped. It was then considered acceptable.

[theologygeek]

Is Paul dead? Whose father is gramps or whatever the Maxwells call him?

[kpmom]

Is Paul dead? Whose father is gramps or whatever the Maxwells call him?

I had a sixties flashback for a minute with that question.

The grandfather Sarah posts about is Teri's dad who lives next door to them.

[Jana814]

It wouldn't surprise me. Seems his whole life is trying to prove something.

Me either. A little off topic but I'm currently dog/cat sitting for a woman who didn't have the easist of childhoods. I don't know the details but I have noticed from being around her & seeing her house that she seems to be trying to prove to herself that she is not how she was raised. However I'm not sure if its working cause her kids r terriers & she can't control them. Steve probably wants to prove that he is not his father that's probably why he is the way he is.

[thoughtful]

I had a sixties flashback for a minute with that question.

:lol:

Yes, if you play the recordings Steve made for the kids to listen to at naptime backwards, they all drone "Paul is dead" over and over.

Here is Paul Bargar's obit:

http://www.idacountycourier.com/main.as ... leID=10128