Was Steve Maxwell adopted?

[uber frau]

On the side of his dad's I but there's a column that includes details about the funeral. One of the sections is the pall bearers, one is the hymns(I wonder if the Maxwells supplied the music? I think not somehow), one is the internment details.

[Toothfairy]

Thanks for posting. This is interesting

[MamaJunebug]

Where I had my laptop, I would make a timeline, which would be helpful. Maybe somebody else can?

Here's my thought on how Steve became a Maxwell. Note well, this is all conjecture, but here goes.

His parents last lived together in 1959; perhaps his mother began a relationship with Mr. Maxwell, Sr., perhaps as early as 1960.

While cohabitation without marriage was not talked about openly, back then, it did happen. So perhaps they just began to call 9-year-old Steve and his sisters by the surname Maxwell, to keep nosy neighbors' questions at bay, or simply because it was more convenient.

By the time Mrs. Bargar and Mr. Maxwell married in 1968, Steve's name would have been in use for several years, and become his legal name.

( It's interesting that we're talking about this, because just last night I was thinking about my dad's name. He had three given names in addition to his surname, went by the third given name till the day he died, never ever used his first name!

(And yet, when he died, we had no problem whatsoever with any of his pensions, benefits, investments, no problem atoll. So if Steve were born Bargar, went by Maxwell as a child, and then just began being Maxwell for the rest of his life, that's not altogether unusual, I suppose.

(I mean, now, with terrorism and cyber information, all the I's have to be perfectly dotted and T's crossed. But back in the day, not so much!)

Which brings me back to what would cause Steve to enter the rabbit hole to begin with. Again, for some reason I started to think what my dad would say if he were told about this situation. His response most likely would be, "Steve had a lot of mixed emotions about his own father, and when he started to resemble his father too much, he decided to pull a 180 and go do the exact opposite. No planes, no hobbies, no drinking, no joy in religion, only rules and fear. "

Hey – it's kind of the same reason Michael Jackson wound up looking like a mask instead of an African-American male: he had such a troubled history with his father that he didn't want to have any resemblance to the man in any way, and he went overboard on the plastic surgery.

So, anyhoo, long post full mostly of conjecture.

[Black Aliss]

Steve has never talked about his background. On one of their anniversary posts Sarah talked about how Steve came from a "broken" home & Teri was raised by parents who didn't know Jesus yet.

I can see where Steve and his parents might have had a falling out after Steve jumped the shark. They don't seem like the type of people who appreciate being told they're going to hell because they aren't christian enough for Steve.

[theologygeek]

I think Mary and James divorced. The obituary is odd. Usually obituaries say wife of so and so, or wife of the late...

[FloraDoraDolly]

I don't think all of the answers to the Maxwell crazy are in Steve's childhood. Some of the answers, perhaps. But not all. Not all the stuff about death and doom. I think Steve picked that up in Vietnam.

[anjulibai]

I'm sure Steve's crazy is a combination of things. Most crazy is. But this certainly is painting a more complicated picture than the one that Steve has tried to create.

[anjulibai]

It's interesting that the parents in his life, Paul, Mrs. Mary and James, were all pretty well educated and had interesting careers. His mother, in particular, seems to have done a variety of things. I wonder if Steve's focus on women not working outside the home was in reaction to that - perhaps he saw his mother's working as the reason his dad left, or felt resentful about her being away.

In any case, it's just such a stark contrast to his beliefs now.

[16strong]

Which brings me back to what would cause Steve to enter the rabbit hole to begin with. Again, for some reason I started to think what my dad would say if he were told about this situation. His response most likely would be, "Steve had a lot of mixed emotions about his own father, and when he started to resemble his father too much, he decided to pull a 180 and go do the exact opposite. No planes, no hobbies, no drinking, no joy in religion, only rules and fear. "

I think you nailed it and this is exactly it. Steve doesn't want to be like the person he resents so much. But the irony is that he has become a horrible parent in his own right. Extremism is never good. I think Steve has spent so much time eradicating every trace of his father within himself that he hasn't realized that he has erased all of his father's good traits as well. Sad.

[Jana814]

It's interesting that the parents in his life, Paul, Mrs. Mary and James, were all pretty well educated and had interesting careers. His mother, in particular, seems to have done a variety of things. I wonder if Steve's focus on women not working outside the home was in reaction to that - perhaps he saw his mother's working as the reason his dad left, or felt resentful about her being away.

In any case, it's just such a stark contrast to his beliefs now.

That easily could be the reason of why he is against women working outside the home. I've heard that a few times. Man raised by a single working mother & when they have children of their own they want their wives to stay home.

[WonderingInWA]

I haven't read all the responses here, am still working my way through, but Steve's mother had Alzheimers, which can typically run in families. I wonder if he went down the rabbit hole because his mother was showing signs of early onset and he figured if he stayed away from her, he wouldn't get it? He's of the age for early onset, and I wonder if some of his super-controlling behaviors aren't his way of "fighting" the little things that slip from memory at the beginning. BTDT with my mom, who is so debilitated now at 80 that she can't do anything for herself, but it's been a looonnggg 20 years.

[Justme]

Just an FYI, the obit says the Maxwell sons were "honary" pallbears. That could mean the family didn't attend the service. Where were they last October? Where they "on the road"?

I guess Steve would choose "preaching" and making money rather than canceling to attend his own Dads service..

[anjulibai]

Just an FYI, the obit says the Maxwell sons were "honary" pallbears. That could mean the family didn't attend the service. Where were they last October? Where they "on the road"?

I guess Steve would choose "preaching" and making money rather than canceling to attend his own Dads service..

I looked earlier, they were at home doing projects. The posts are kind of disturbing when you know what was going on there.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Excellent sleuthing, guys :clap:

Think how much easier digging up all this background on people is going to be in another 20 or 30 years-- I am amazed at how much information there is on Steve's ancestry now. By the time Steve kicks the bucket his grandchildren will have a much, much harder time scrubbing their past because there will be pictures.

My guess is that when Steve started his blog he would have had no idea that an interested reader could come along and dig up so much information on him-- and now that his living depends on the blog he won't be able to shut it down. The more we write about him and his past, the more his customers will be able to find out about him simply by googling his name and business.

The way that he writes about casual incidents in his family's life on the day of his mother's funeral is chilling. It is so far from Christian behavior that I am speechless. I guess Steve doesn't "do" forgiveness. I also have to wonder how much his children are on board with this behavior. Are they taking note of how you deal with your parents if they do something you don't like?

[theologygeek]

I looked earlier, they were at home doing projects. The posts are kind of disturbing when you know what was going on there.

I don't think he went to the service because his kids would have to spend a couple of days with his relatives. It's pretty sad that they weren't close to their cousins while growing up. Some of my best childhood memories were the times I spent with my cousins. Every time I see a new level of sick that Steve Maxwell is, I thank God that Elizabeth Munck didn't marry Joseph Maxwell.

[uber frau]

I don't think he went to the service because his kids would have to spend a couple of days with his relatives. It's pretty sad that they weren't close to their cousins while growing up. Some of my best childhood memories were the times I spent with my cousins. Every time I see a new level of sick that Steve Maxwell is, I thank God that Elizabeth Munck didn't marry Joseph Maxwell.

Maybe. On the other hand it is more than possible that they went to the funeral and the blog was set to publish a pre-written post or three.

I think this just reinforces how much the Maxwell's blog reflects the image Steve wants to project; every photo is posed and taken of the 'best' side (it's always interesting to see photos of the Maxwells that have been taken by someone else-they look like different ppl), and every post is carefully pre-planned. They're pretty unskilled so they slip up once in a while, but for the most part I think it's pretty safe to say that Steve Maxwell is just as hung up on his image as the heathens he despises in Hollywood.

[SPHASH]

Maybe. On the other hand it is more than possible that they went to the funeral and the blog was set to publish a pre-written post or three.

I think this just reinforces how much the Maxwell's blog reflects the image Steve wants to project; every photo is posed and taken of the 'best' side (it's always interesting to see photos of the Maxwells that have been taken by someone else-they look like different ppl), and every post is carefully pre-planned. They're pretty unskilled so they slip up once in a while, but for the most part I think it's pretty safe to say that Steve Maxwell is just as hung up on his image as the heathens he despises in Hollywood.

On Blogger you can schedule posts for the future. I do it all the time on my blog.

[nelliebelle1197]

I think the Maxwells would be much smarter to put this kind of information out there, maybe not the weirdness with the dads but at least mention mom is dead and they are mourning her. They purport to publish a blog to show others how to live but everything since Christophed stopped writing most of the blog has been so sanitized and fake. Are they not supposed to be living examples for their version of Christ living in the bad world? Deaths and how they deal with them would help to make them human. Even the births are starting to get generic. Bad marketing there, Stevie.

[SPHASH]

Ever since discovering Steve's parents and grandparents really were Christians I've started to wonder how truthful Steve has been in his teachings. Perhaps his dad didn't run off with some woman after all-Paul and Mrs. Mary separated and during the divorce process Paul got a girlfriend. Steve mentions the brother who wanted the Easter egg hunt, perhaps it was a brother-in-law. He claims Teri didn't come from a Christian home either, maybe Grandad and Gigi used to be Catholic or Mormon. He said Sarah went to a sleepover and wanted to come home ASAP, he may not have given her permission to go stating all the bad influences things that happen-secular music, talks abot boys, eating junk food, Christopher not becoming an EMT-maybe he didn't want to deal with the potential sight of blood.

[Hane]

Ever since discovering Steve's parents and grandparents really were Christians I've started to wonder how truthful Steve has been in his teachings. Perhaps his dad didn't run off with some woman after all-Paul and Mrs. Mary separated and during the divorce process Paul got a girlfriend. Steve mentions the brother who wanted the Easter egg hunt, perhaps it was a brother-in-law. He claims Teri didn't come from a Christian home either, maybe Grandad and Gigi used to be Catholic or Mormon. He said Sarah went to a sleepover and wanted to come home ASAP, he may not have given her permission to go stating all the bad influences things that happen-secular music, talks abot boys, eating junk food.

See, here's the problem with Christians™. And so many of those rules have nothing to do with the teachings of Christ or a belief in the Resurrection. It's tribalism, not religion--and certainly not faith.

[lilith]

See, here's the problem with Christians™. And so many of those rules have nothing to do with the teachings of Christ or a belief in the Resurrection. It's tribalism, not religion--and certainly not faith.

I don't want to start a huge controversy, but there are legitimate reasons that most Christian denominations don't recognise the LDS as fellow Christians. Mormons use a new testament (Book of Mormon) that isn't recognised by any other Christian denomination and that contains ideas and theology that is radically different to accepted Christianity. Identifying Mormons as Christians because they believe that Jesus was the son of god is like identifying Christians as Jewish because they believe the Old Testament.

[nausicaa]

See, here's the problem with Christians™. And so many of those rules have nothing to do with the teachings of Christ or a belief in the Resurrection. It's tribalism, not religion--and certainly not faith.

This. I never doubted for a second that Steve's mom was some sort of mainstream Christian, perhaps only nominal but likely someone who at least attended several times a year and was fairly conservative. What Steve and his ilk think of as Christian is very, very narrow. Remember Sarah referring to the Catholic churches as Christian with quotations around the word?

[VodouDoll]

Perhaps his dad didn't run off with some woman after all-Paul and Mrs. Mary separated and during the divorce process Paul got a girlfriend.

Not just that, but Steve has said before that his father ran off with his best friend's wife.

This info is bananas, you guys. He changed his last name at 17? Wow. That seems to me to show a tremendous resentment towards his father. Which we already knew he had, but he's always said it was because his dad blew up the family and exposed Steve to immoral things. Now we know his rage at his father predates his cult by many years and probably has very little to do with his strict Maxwellian theology, contrary to what Steve has intimated before. Perhaps even contrary to what Steve himself believes.

[Justme]

Maybe Mary's 2nd husband, James Maxwell was the one who ran off with another woman. He was not mentioned in her obit as preceded or survived by.

[anjulibai]

Maybe Mary's 2nd husband, James Maxwell was the one who ran off with another woman. He was not mentioned in her obit as preceded or survived by.

Where did you find that?

ETA: Oh, I didn't see where you said maybe. It's definitely a possibility. But then why was Nathan give James as a middle name?

There's just so many layers here. Steve's background just gets more and more complicated.

And the sad part is, it's not even abnormal. Complicated, but stuff that happens all the time. So why did all of that push him over the edge? His time in Vietnam I'm sure contributed, but it has to be more than that.

I think Steve has some innate psychological problem, that has only worsened with age. It's sad that his involved so many innocent people in all of it.