The Onion: Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

[Howl]

Well, homeschooling now has a high enough profile to be lampooned by The Onion:

Many parents are choosing to homeschool their children due to religious beliefs or dissatisfaction with their district, while opponents argue that attending school is essential to a child’s education and development. Here are some pros and cons of educating your child at home:

PROS:

Better prepares children for modern world in which they never have to talk to people with different opinions

Guest lecturer Uncle Ken

Parental brainwashing much more efficient than government brainwashing

Sex education can be taught using family-approved euphemisms

No embarrassment when child accidentally calls teacher Mom

Primes child to eventually work from home, live at home, die at home

Despite its demanding workload, Dad’s History of Billy Joel class is pretty interesting

CONS:

Have to spend time with child

High cost of adding cafeteria, auditorium, gym to house

Teacher unable to reuse joke material

Onus of bullying falls on parents

Higher rate of STDs in students who’ve never watched an educational improv troupe act out the dangers of unprotected sex

Slightly more difficult to get rid of underperforming teachers

Almost impossible to punish a child who is already being subjected to homeschooling

[artdecades]

Pretty funny. I would say they should do one more towards fundie homeschoolers, but one of the reasons the onion is so good at what they do is because they know their audience. I doubt any fundie homeschoolers read the onion, and they probably wouldn't find these jokes funny.

[Hane]

Pretty funny. I would say they should do one more towards fundie homeschoolers, but one of the reasons the onion is so good at what they do is because they know their audience. I doubt any fundie homeschoolers read the onion, and they probably wouldn't find these jokes funny.

Reminds me of a letter to the editor of Readers Digest years ago, when the Harry Potter craze was new: The magazine printed an interview with J.K. Rowling. Someone wrote a letter saying how Rowling freely admitted being a satanist, and how hordes of children were leaving Christianity for satanism, and it wasn't printed. She wrote again, demanding to know why her letter hadn't been printed, and this time the RD responded, citing her source--The Onion. The letter writer had NO CLUE that The Onion was strictly satirical, and had taken the article as the gospel truth.

Edited to add linkity: http://www.theonion.com/articles/harry- ... g-ch,2413/

[docmom]

Reminds me of a letter to the editor of Readers Digest years ago, when the Harry Potter craze was new: The magazine printed an interview with J.K. Rowling. Someone wrote a letter saying how Rowling freely admitted being a satanist, and how hordes of children were leaving Christianity for satanism, and it wasn't printed. She wrote again, demanding to know why her letter hadn't been printed, and this time the RD responded, citing her source--The Onion. The letter writer had NO CLUE that The Onion was strictly satirical, and had taken the article as the gospel truth.

Edited to add linkity: http://www.theonion.com/articles/harry- ... g-ch,2413/

Hell, the CHINESE GOVERNMENT didn't realize the Onion was satirical...

[polecat]

Pro of home schooling: You get to get down and dirty with the principal without it affecting your job.

Con: You have to tell the principal, "Not right now! We're in the middle of science!" as you slap his hand away from your behind.

Pro: You get to have "sunny day" days where you spend the whole day outside (zoo, here we come!).

Con: You're also really tempted to have snow days even when you know there's no logical reason for them.

Pro: School can go with you no matter where you travel!

Con: School can go with you no matter where you travel.

Oh, man, this could go on a while, and I have stuff to do.

[freedomjesusfootball]

There is a large body of people who do not know that The Onion is satire:

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

not breaking because I don't think they would care. :P

[FundieWatcher]

hehe they have some good stuff...nothing beats the daily show though.

I think I've only personally known one homeschool family, as in homeschool was their first choice. Some kids I have met ended up in it for short periods of time if they got kicked out of school, their parents hated their current school or, in one case, they couldn't make the payments to finish out the year at private school.

[DGayle]

I wish they were clear that this is the pro's and con's of homeschooling for religious reasons.