Equal Opportunity Modesty - The Gur Hasidim

[Cleopatra7]

We often talk about how modesty standards are only applied to women, but the demands of the Gur Hasidic sect are even stricter for men:

http://www.haaretz.com/weekend/week-s-e ... n-1.410811

(link not broken because Haaretz is secular)

Some relevant quotes:

Gur Hasids drew the inspiration for separation from the heritage of Kotzk, a small Hasidic sect that existed in the early 19th century - the path of which Gur saw itself as continuing.

"The Kotzk Rebbe essentially claimed that love for the Lord and love for a woman do not go together. There is a rivalry between spirituality and sexuality, so sexuality has to be abolished," notes Wasserman, explaining the rationale.

A young man's preparation for having a relationship with a woman is very limited. Only on his wedding day, about two hours before the marriage ceremony, does the counselor reveal to the groom what he must do on his wedding night. The girls receive more extensive counseling.

"There are grooms who throw up or faint when they hear these things," Wasserman notes. "But the sect is willing to pay this price, to receive the benefit of sanctity."

An entire set of restrictions pertains to ties with friends. Gur men do not embrace and do not kiss; a young man is forbidden to sit on his friend's bed; a young man is forbidden to conduct a conversation unless he is wearing his overcoat. In general, Gur Hasidim must walk around in their overcoats at all times. The strictest instruction is given regarding immersion in the mikveh, or ritual bath, in the most modest manner. "There is a clash of values here," Wasserman says. "You need to safeguard sanctity, on the one hand, and on the other, the immersion involves nudity."

It seems to me that the Gur Hasidim really want to live as monks and nuns but can't because there is no monastic tradition in mainstream Judaism. On the one hand, they are taught that sex and love (even platonic or familial) is evil, but at the same time, they are also taught that they have to have a bunch of children. It seems like to be indoctrinated with such conflicting views would led to a lot of anxiety and depression. I wonder what family relations are like in this sect, since even fathers playing with their own children is seen as being too sensual.

[Arete]

There is a joke my friend once told me about the Gur Hassidim. We were educating each other on the different sects of Judaism and Christianity.

Gur man to his friend: Who was that woman I saw you walking with yesterday afternoon?

Friend: Not my wife! Not my wife!

It's even funnier with some wine. :lol: