Yesterday, I Felt Bad For Fundies

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Sent one kid off camping with the Girl Scouts, sent one off with my ex husband, and kept one for a fun weekend - I took her to the hair salon and she got some blue and red streaks put in for the 4th of July. Now we are watching Hocus Pocus, a movie about witches....

However I am wearing a long skirt and a long sleeved top with a tank top underneath to cover my massive cleavage.

[Miggy]

1) Everytime I drink Pepsi, as I am another who does pity Teri. Depression needs a level of support that doesn't exist in fundyland. (A fundy relative who has been hospitalised for severa l months with postnatal depression is accused of being lazy by most of the family.)

2) Everyday at work where I teach nearly 150 students. I KNOW that children are blessings. I also know they don't have to be your own.

3) Everytime I watch my daughter run out onto the hockey field, play cello in the orchestra, bass in her heavy metal band or just hang out with friends, knowing that her life choices are her own and not what our church dictates. Just as they are for our sons.

4) Everytime I go to a family gathering and see the lives of my fundy-in-laws, who lead such closed sheltered lives. Even those in their 90s don't understand that there is another way to live.

Edit to add: it is 11:38am and I am in my pjs watching my son play on the Wii. I could never be fundy as I could never give up days like this.

[ADoyle90815]

I happen to be wearing a tank top and shorts as it is the summer here.

My niece has 2 college educated parents who both work outside the home, and since she's going to public K in the fall, it's not an issue. She's got a roof over her head and plenty of food as well.

I get to wear a tankini with just enough fabric to make swimming comfortable. That means, not dealing with the extra fabric of a skirt, although board shorts are great when I've gotten too much sun on my upper thighs.

I can do whatever I want with my hair without even consulting the future headship, such as keeping it shorter than shoulder length which is best for my hair type, which is fine and just hangs limp if it goes past my shoulders.

[freedomjesusfootball]

Today I was sick with bronchitis. My headship provided me with a constant stream of hot tea and popsicles. And told me to lay down and rest when I tried to get up and some light chores. I am glad I am not expected to get up and serve him, even when I feel like shit. Or really ever, but especially not when I am sick.

[wild little fox]

Honestly? I have resigned myself to never feeling sorry for them. Their children, yes. Them, no.

This thread reminds me of the time my cousin and his grandmother returned from a Christian rock concert. GM was saying how loud and rowdy the audience was and my cousin chimed in about how he behaved hself. I'm so sad for him on so many levels. He has a lot of the same problems I do. Except he has never had a girlfriend, never dated, never moved out of the house, has not gone to college. He must be 30 now, or close to it.

[niagarahauls]

I have trained both of my sons to proudly say"yes"anytime I ask them if they are feminists. This was mostly in frustration after reading one too many bullshit celebrity interviews when a female I admired would not own this title. Oh, I know at 7 and 9 they might not have a complete understanding of the term but they are already doing better than any of the full grown men fundies. As my youngest tells me "Mom, girls can do anything boys can!"

That's better than anything a fundie mom has managed to teach their son. And he's not even homeschooled.

[hywelis]

Yesterday I was waiting for my Mum in the car, in a supermarket parking lot, and there was a little girl walking around with a woman. The little girl was acting carefree and silly, skipping as she walked, pulling faces, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. My mind flashed to a blog I read somewhere, I can't remember which fundie it was, where the author wrote that when the family went grocery shopping the children had to behave (to an extreme degree) in order to be good witness for Jesus. It made me feel sad for these children.

Hywelis

[Jana814]

Same here! Because the children did not choose to be fundy! In many cases (Maxwells, Bates, Duggars) they became that way!

[Dinorah]

I've felt bad for fundies since summer started, in particular since I started going to the beach. i hardly ever dress in what could be deemed a provocative way, but I'm glad I can wear a bikini or a sundress rather than a awkard modest swimsuit or having to boil because I need to stay covered.

I generally feel bad for the fact their lives are so narrow, and there are so many experiences they miss out..

[Talitha Cumi]

I feel bad whenever I think of the adult Duggar girls, in their 20s and stuck at home living like children.

Like children, yet they have to mother their younger siblings. Babies having babies, indeed.

[Talitha Cumi]

Things I have done within the last few months that the Duggar daughters will never get to do:

1. Chopped off 14 inches of hair.

2. Gone on a trip (without my headship) to see one of my favorite bands perform-- 3 shows in a row!

3. Spent a day all by myself.

4. Taught men who are older than I am. I'm an expert in the field they want to learn.

5. Spent my own money on things for myself.

6. Helped my sister with her kids, because she is leaving her husband and needs help.

7. Watched movies not approved of by my parents or my headship.

8. Read books of my choosing that were not about Christianity.

9. Eaten many, many dinners cooked by my headship, who gets home from work 3 hours before I do.

10. Played video games where I shoot people.

11. Masturbated.

:nenner:

[OkToBeTakei]

When I think that one of the children might, just might have been the one to cure cancer after a long successful academic career. That one of them might have been the next John McEnroe. Ussain Bolt.

Really I suppose that even if they did not reach those dizzy heights of success, that they would never get the chance just to have the fun and frustration of study and exams, the experience or how fun team and sports can be :cry:

[Minerva]

The other day, I discussed the finer points of getting an IUD with my doctor. Knowing that I can have an intimate relationship with Mr. Minerva and never have to even consider having a baby is one of the things I'm most thankful for.

[louisa05]

I feel sorry for a lot of the fundie-lite types I know in real life. For the most part, they were raised to believe that it is the only way and even if they are not always comfortable with the extremism and legalism or even the theology, they are typically terrified to walk away from it. The church is usually their entire social outlet and they rarely have connections apart from it. One friend and her husband did walk away, but it took them three years to get the courage to do it. And now they feel very isolated and alone. And that is without even letting their family know that they no longer attend any church.

I also feel sorry for them because so many I know have been taught to be scared of the whole world and that if they are not struggling all the time, they will go to hell. So they live in fear of hearing the wrong song on the radio, wearing the wrong thing, going into the wrong restaurant, not boycotting the right products and those who have children are even more terrified of life. And if they feel happy about something, they end up worried about whatever it is being wrong. I remember when I was in college and our state's college football powerhouse won a string of national titles. My fundy-lite friends wanted to celebrate and enjoy the whole thing, but they were all too uneasy that cheering for something besides Jesus (and several used those exact words) was sinful.

In spite of all their evangelization proclamations that their brand of Christianity brings fulfillment and joy, it is actually a very miserable life.

[crazyforkate]

The other day I got my diploma and a copy of the Convocation program, which lists all the graduates from my college in a given year, as well as any awards, levels of Distinction, etc. As I read through the list, with all these promising young women and men of all different backgrounds and fields of study and dreams for the future, many of whom are my friends, I thought about all the incredible things I learned over the years, and all the wonderful people I met. There was so much knowledge and goodwill in those buildings, and even the hard times were a treasure. The fundies, of course, wouldn't dream of letting their kids into the secular hellhole I attended - and that makes me tremendously sad. They'll miss out on so much. Not everyone wants to go to college, and not everyone should - but these fundie kids are never even going to have the opportunity to make up their minds. There's something really wrong with that.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I feel bad for every experience these fundie kids are never going to experience and everything theyre missing out on :(

[AuntCloud]

Knowing that my life is valuable by definition, not by merit of my reproductive organs or my helpmeet capabilities.

[Jana814]

Really loving what everyone is saying. Saturday I went to my 1st cousins wedding, they got married outside w/ a guy who did it in both English & Spanish w/ the tradition of breaking the glass & shouting Mozel Tov. My cousin married a girl who was not picked out by a preacher & knew each other for a long time before.

[HereticHick]

This weekend, I got to congratulate 2 old friends who got engaged (on television!) while celebrating the US Supreme Court DOMA decision. I feel sorry for Fundies who only allow themselves to celebrate the marriages of some, not all.