Dead 4 Months after No-Touch Courtship

[Closed Womb]

I was watching an ID Discovery show called "Happy Never After"; they told the story of Couty and Christa Alexander. Couty apparently killed his 12-week pregnant wife a mere four months into their marriage. Their courtship was as strict as we see around here -- no touch, always supervised, etc. They "courted" for three months before he proposed, but then it appears they waited another year before marriage. He lived an hour away and the show made it sound like they didn't see each other all that much. Even though the psychologist on the show said people who delay physical intimacy have a better marriages, I think they clearly did not know each other well enough prior to marriage.

This is what gets me about the whole thing: listening to her parents go on and on about her precious purity at the altar was just sickening. They praised her sainted, virginal memory (even making reference to the Virgin Mary.) They spoke in glowing terms about her courtship. All the while I'm sitting there thinking, huh, if she had a normal relationship prior to the marriage she might be, y'know, alive right now.

I really, genuinely think that this family would rather that poor girl be 100% untouched on her wedding day than have a normal relationship and be alive right now. I watched it last night and I'm still nauseated.

[twin2]

OMG I was watching that this morning too! First thing I thought was I need to post on FJ.

The brides father was a baptist minister, her dad actually talked about her "purity" eewwww. The groom was the eldest in a family of 14.

[nokidsmom]

It really galls me how purity must be maintained at all costs and that a woman's value is totally based on having on the state of her hymen and the fact that she is literally "untouched" before marriage. What did her family say about Couty?

[ari_belle]

Are they so obsessed with purity that they don't realize that she's DEAD because she was MURDERED???

[ILoveJellybeans]

What a horrible tragedy :( This is why courtship is a bad idea, by the time you are alone enough with the other person to know what they are really like, youre already married to them. Its not like if someone was an abusive psychopath, or murderer, or rapist, they would say so in front of your family. Often the most evil people are really good at acting charming and kind around other people.

[RachelB]

I've thought this is one of the logical outcomes of treating a woman as if her only value is in her virginity: Once that's gone, she's disposable.

:shudder:

[nokidsmom]

Are they so obsessed with purity that they don't realize that she's DEAD because she was MURDERED???

Right, I get the feeling that her purity is all that matters and they are overlooking the rather obvious fact that she was killed by her own husband.

[laura oz]

I made a decision not to watch that when I saw what it was going to be about. I love me some ID, but that kind of show is triggering for me. I don't want to ask this, but I have to now. Did they really just focus on her purity and not the fact that her child and she were murdered by the person who had vowed (before God no less) to love, honor,cherish and keep their daughter? Man, that's some messed up priorities there.

[twin2]

I made a decision not to watch that when I saw what it was going to be about. I love me some ID, but that kind of show is triggering for me. I don't want to ask this, but I have to now. Did they really just focus on her purity and not the fact that her child and she were murdered by the person who had vowed (before God no less) to love, honor,cherish and keep their daughter? Man, that's some messed up priorities there.

A lot of the purity talk was in the set-up, up-front, when they were talking about how they met and stuff, prior to when they started talking about the crime. All her parents could talk about was about how pure she was, how strong her faith was, how she was a loving woman who wanted to be a mom. I missed the last part of it where they actually went into the crime and stuff so I can't comment on how they wrapped it all up in the end.

[Jana814]

I saw it last night also. It was such a sad story!

[dramallama]

What a horrible tragedy :( This is why courtship is a bad idea, by the time you are alone enough with the other person to know what they are really like, youre already married to them. Its not like if someone was an abusive psychopath, or murderer, or rapist, they would say so in front of your family. Often the most evil people are really good at acting charming and kind around other people.

Yeah, and they likely believe(d? hopefully past tense) that only filthy sinning non-fundamentalists could even be abusive psychopaths, murderers, or rapists. I mean, his parents had 14 kids! And he claimed to believe in purity! He probably filled out her dad's 27-page theological questionnaire perfectly! What else is there to know? How could it ever go wrong?! :roll:

[salex]

Apparently he went to his regions version of the ATI warrior/boy scouts thing (can't remember the name)

smitecamp.org/contact-us/

[Mela99]

I was watching an ID Discovery show called "Happy Never After"; they told the story of Couty and Christa Alexander. Couty apparently killed his 12-week pregnant wife a mere four months into their marriage. Their courtship was as strict as we see around here -- no touch, always supervised, etc. They "courted" for three months before he proposed, but then it appears they waited another year before marriage. He lived an hour away and the show made it sound like they didn't see each other all that much. Even though the psychologist on the show said people who delay physical intimacy have a better marriages, I think they clearly did not know each other well enough prior to marriage.

This is what gets me about the whole thing: listening to her parents go on and on about her precious purity at the altar was just sickening. They praised her sainted, virginal memory (even making reference to the Virgin Mary.) They spoke in glowing terms about her courtship. All the while I'm sitting there thinking, huh, if she had a normal relationship prior to the marriage she might be, y'know, alive right now.

I really, genuinely think that this family would rather that poor girl be 100% untouched on her wedding day than have a normal relationship and be alive right now. I watched it last night and I'm still nauseated.

Did they give this speech at her wedding or FUNERAL? :shock:

[Kira]

I watched this last night. I don't think courtship deserves all the blame. This show has featured a variety of people who've killed their spouses.

Eta: I was thinking about Josh Beasley as I watched this episode.

[salex]

I watched this last night. I don't think courtship deserves all the blame. This show has featured a variety of people who've killed their spouses.

Eta: I was thinking about Josh Beasley as I watched this episode.

I wonder how many brides are killed in Courtship marriages among fundies (obvious murder or accidental death percentage wise compared to dating situations) aren't brides frequently killed in other groups that have arranged marriage situations?

[hellbound]

And while this Godly man was going through the courtship motions with Christa, he was boinking his female co-worker. I'm sure he felt a lot of pressure from his family to pick the "right" girl and go through a no-touching courtship, but it clearly wasn't what he wanted. I thought Christa's parents' obsession with her purity made them seem like creepy jerks. So many of these fundie parents (JimBob and Michelle, Kelly and Gil, etc.) grew up practicing much more mainstream types of religions and don't seem to have any guilt that they're not following their parents' beliefs. Yet, they believe that are entitled to force their rigid beliefs on their adult children. When you put so much pressure and guilt on your children, sooner or later one of them might try to escape the life any way they can.

[salex]

And while this Godly man was going through the courtship motions with Christa, he was boinking his female co-worker. I'm sure he felt a lot of pressure from his family to pick the "right" girl and go through a no-touching courtship, but it clearly wasn't what he wanted. I thought Christa's parents' obsession with her purity made them seem like creepy jerks. So many of these fundie parents (JimBob and Michelle, Kelly and Gil, etc.) grew up practicing much more mainstream types of religions and don't seem to have any guilt that they're not following their parents' beliefs. Yet, they believe that are entitled to force their rigid beliefs on their adult children. When you put so much pressure and guilt on your children, sooner or later one of them might try to escape the life any way they can.

The plot sickens...

[lizziesmom]

Was the SOB at least convicted of murder?

[Kira]

Was the SOB at least convicted of murder?

Yes. He accepted a plea deal and received 55 years in prison.

[lizziesmom]

Yes. He accepted a plea deal and received 55 years in prison.

Good to know. At least, unlike Andrea Yates' situation, he isn't out there making babies with a new wife.

[Chowder Head]

55yrs with hope with no parole.

[Tangy Bee]

OMG! Did they say why he snapped? Most ATI fundies won't hear about this because they shun the media.

[Kira]

I think he regretted marrying her. They had a "great" courtship, but his demeanor changed after they married. He had an affair and believed divorced was shameful, but murder was fine(that seem to be the logic of many murderers with religious backgrounds).

[divadivine]

I watched it last night, too. I was mad when her Mom said "We lost three family members that day... our daughter, our unborn grandchild and our son-in-law." How could you think of him as a family member? He killed your daughter and grandchild in cold blood. And then tried to make it look like a robbery.

[ADoyle90815]

I watched it last night, too. I was mad when her Mom said "We lost three family members that day... our daughter, our unborn grandchild and our son-in-law." How could you think of him as a family member? He killed your daughter and grandchild in cold blood. And then tried to make it look like a robbery.

That's what I thought last night when her mom said that about her daughter's killer. In fact, I was about to start a thread about this myself.