Respecting Ancestors who Were in Wars

[Anxious Girl 1]

I decided to start this thread as a way to get links to where your ancestors were honored fighting in wars! My ancestor on my dad's mom's side fought on the Union side of the American Civil War! The problem is, he was either Irish/Northern Irish. I already know that he registered on a different name and know what the name was. Are their any websites dedicated to foreigners who fought in American wars/vice versa? You can add your questions/stories here!

 

I want to find out if my great-great-great-grandfather has a memorial dedicated to him and the other foreigners who fought, because I would like to bring his grave flowers on Memorial day and honor him. My grandfather on my dad's side fought on the American side during WWII, and every other year we bring flowers to his grave/try to. * sorry for showing off * Thoughts, feels on your stories?

[Arete 1,899]

If you cannot track a specific memorial, you can still honor them. Most Vetrans' Administrations have public memorial ceremonies on Memorial Day and a few other days a year. You could lay your flowers or your candle for your family members at the public memorial.

Just throwing it out there as an idea.

[librarychick 144]

i hope I can ask this question but I was just curious if anyone here is a member of the DAR?

[Tikobaby 4,673]

My late aunts were members, but I'm not.  

[gustava 5,050]

Eligible but my bosom is too small.

[OddlyAmused 242]

Eligible but don't feel any desire to bother joining.

[MarblesMom 46,270]

Yes, I am a current member (although not active - I never go to meetings or anything).

[PennySycamore 59,697]

I should be eligible since I know my 6th great grandfather was one of the Overthemountain Men who fought the British at King's Mountain.  They do have some good genealogical resources.  I am a little uncomfortable with their longtime conservative political stance.  They might not be like that anymore and maybe they never were, the refusal of national headquarters to let Marian Anderson sing at their concert hall, notwithstanding.  (That was maybe a bit more complicated than is usually stated.)  

There are two chapters in Tennessee who are named after my ancestors (6th ggf and his wife) and also one named after Julius Dugger.

 

[FundieFarmer 14,937]

Eligible but I'm too busy with other leagues & boards. And because not many people do it here that I know of.

[withaj 6,774]

I'm eligible several times over. My mother and aunt are members through one documented lineage and my late great-aunt was by another one. I haven't bothered to apply on my own behalf, though I have done the research and made application for clients. There are three nearby chapters, but reports indicate that the attendees are mostly blue-hairs. 

I actually have found a number of errors in established DAR lineages while doing genealogical research both for myself and others, so I don't put much stock in their records as a resource, and don't see myself clamoring to join any time soon.

I'm eligible to join the Daughters of the Confederacy, too, but I definitely won't be taking advantage of that (Sorry, direct-ancestor-I would-have-been-named-after-had-I-been-a-boy).

[DaisyD 16,037]

I thought about it. There are at least 2 chapters named after relatives on my dad's side. I'm also eligible on my mom's side. I suppose I would also be eligible for DAC on that side too, but considering he ended up in a rocking chair with his Union in laws, I'll just skip it. My dad's distant cousins bug him to join SAR all the time (they dress up and everything). Dad said he would if I filled out the paperwork for him because that would make my membership a snap. I just haven't gotten around to it. 

[librarychick 144]

I am a member and very active in our chapter.  And yes, unfortunately, most our members are blue-hairs. I am one of the youngest active members although I am not young (43) lol. I recently became interested in genealogy because of my membership. Our chapter owns the oldest home in our county (built in 1845) that we have restored and have turned into a "museum" of sorts ( we give tours and talks, etc). Being a part of the restoration was my drive to join the chapter. Anyway, I was just curious. Thanks for answering!

[danvillebelle 11,615]

I'm eligible through two or three ancestors.  I have contacted them several times over the last 20 years to try to become a member; never, EVER heard anything back.  Whatevah DARlings, your loss.  

[HerNameIsBuffy 137,128]

On 3/28/2016 at 10:05 PM, withaj said:

I'm eligible several times over. My mother and aunt are members through one documented lineage and my late great-aunt was by another one. I haven't bothered to apply on my own behalf, though I have done the research and made application for clients. There are three nearby chapters, but reports indicate that the attendees are mostly blue-hairs. 

I actually have found a number of errors in established DAR lineages while doing genealogical research both for myself and others, so I don't put much stock in their records as a resource, and don't see myself clamoring to join any time soon.

I'm eligible to join the Daughters of the Confederacy, too, but I definitely won't be taking advantage of that (Sorry, direct-ancestor-I would-have-been-named-after-had-I-been-a-boy).

Me too - eligible several times over.  I have first cousin who is a member so I know our documentation passed muster but I have no desire.  Also some Mayflower society.

I'm not sure if she did the DAC but we qualify too, 4th great-grandfather died in the battle of  Wilson's Creek - I'm not in touch with her so not sure if she joined that, too...but a couple, more distant,  cousins (same line) joined so I take that as verification of the documentation without having to talk to strangers.

One of them goes and places confederate flags and flowers on his grave fairly often and ....let's just say there is a reason I much prefer long dead relatives to those who can still speak.

[withaj 6,774]

24 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

....let's just say there is a reason I much prefer long dead relatives to those who can still speak.

Yep. Have I mentioned that the last slave owned by my Confederate ancestor (and who lost his arm as said ancestor's "body servant" during the war) is buried at his master's feet? And he died in 1927. For fuck's sake. 

Also, the family book (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a genealogy) published by two of the old hag cousins in 1971 refers to the slaves as helpers. Oh, and they wept at their mistress's feet when she told them they were free and had to leave. Shoot me now.

[HerNameIsBuffy 137,128]

7 minutes ago, withaj said:

Yep. Have I mentioned that the last slave owned by my Confederate ancestor (and who lost his arm as said ancestor's "body servant" during the war) is buried at his master's feet? And he died in 1927. For fuck's sake. 

Also, the family book (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a genealogy) published by two of the old hag cousins in 1971 refers to the slaves as helpers. Oh, and they wept at their mistress's feet when she told them they were free and had to leave. Shoot me now.

Just to clarify I liked your post because I find what you said interesting...not that the topic is likable. 

The wills of various great-grandfathers referencing slaves make me physically uncomfortable to look at them.  As a kid I used to wish we could go back in time and free everyone.  It was really disconcerting when learning history to know that the people you come from were active participants.  

And I was struck even as a kid by how even people so far back you'd just be one of many thousands of descendants were once the Grandma and Grandpa to someone and follow that line down to people we love.

My Grams was raised by her grandparents so even though I never knew my great-great grandparents I loved/was love by someone who loved/was loved by them.  And it's only one generation back from that to confederates.  

Fortunately for me the part of my family that I knew weren't whitewashing that - but from a sociological standpoint I still don't understand how acts that are truly monstrous were considered civilized by such a large swath of mainstream society.  

As a young kid knowing where our g-grandfathers fought out of in the revolutionary war made it more interesting...personalized history in a way.  But as a kid wars are black and white, good vs evil and the civil war really was a reality check in how feeling a part of history isn't always comfortable and certainly nothing to be proud of.  

Where's a bumper sticker that says, "my great (whatever) grandfather fought for the confederacy too, but you don't see me flying a racist flag." ?

 

 

[DaisyD 16,037]

So, I just filled out the new member info request form, or whatever it is, online. They sent an email telling me that someone will be in touch and that I should start gathering documents. The first thing they want is my birth certificate, my husband's, and our marriage license.  What on God's green earth does he have to do with it? I get them wanting mine and my parent's/grandparent's. That's how I qualify. I'm now incredibly dubious of how my red and purple hair, piercings, and tattoos are going to go over with this crowd. This will be interesting. I haven't gotten any shock value out of my appearance for a very long time. 

[raspberrymint 1,294]

My white ancestors on my dad's side fought for the confederacy and my paternal grandfather was discarded for being biracial (half black half white).

This grandfather was a veteran himself, but died a few days after returning home.  He isn't considered someone who died serving, though I think he should be because his cause of death was directly connected to what he sustained overseas.  He was cremated.  His ashes are with my grandmother and will go to his oldest child, my father's sister, when my grandmother passes (then to my aunt's son, then to my aunt's grandson, etc).

I just recently found out that I have maternal ancestors who fought for the Union.  I moved near where those ancestors lived and visited old historical buildings where I found this.  They aren't direct ancestors.

I have no idea how to honor anyone nor if I want to.  I broke off contact with my family in general for personal reasons.  My mother's side where I'm from was much crueler than my father's side.  The relatives near where I live now are distant, either in nursing homes or unaware I exist.  The paternal aunt who inherits my grandfather's ashes is homophobic, as is her son, so I doubt I could ever have a say in anything there.

Edited August 25, 2019 by raspberrymint
Grammatical clarity

[Loveday 28,182]

I'd forgotten the genealogy section existed, so thanks, @raspberrymint, for resurrecting this thread! 

I'm eligible on both parents' side to join the DAR, but I probably never will. I'm not a joiner, and I'm lazy--it's too much work gathering all the evidence together. I just know I'd forget to dot an i or cross a t, and the DAR would reject me. I've had enough rejection in my life already. 

I could join the United Daughters of the Confederacy, too, thanks to my father's great grandfather, but...um...nope. Who knows, he could have been the one who shot my maternal 3rd great grandfather at Monocacy battlefield, resulting in him being imprisoned in Danville and dying a few months later. So yeah, I'll skip the UDC, too. I also have a collateral ancestor on mom's side who was among the first to receive the Medal of Honor. Not for risking life and limb to save a fellow soldier, but for risking life and limb to keep the Union flag flying in the midst of gunfire, or something like that. But though he's well documented, he's not in my direct line, so that wouldn't get me into the Union equivalent of the UDC (I can't remember what it's called. United Daughters of the Union?  ).

 

[Bethella 17,809]

On 8/25/2019 at 4:18 PM, Loveday said:

(I can't remember what it's called. United Daughters of the Union?  ).

I  believe it's Daughters of Union Veterans

[Marmion 3,688]

Upon researching my family tree , I discovered that I am descended from both a Revolutionary War veteran , Thomas Bolton Burns  , and a Union Civil War veteran , his grandson , Stephen Duncan Burns  .  So , I might  possibly be eligible to join both the Sons of the American Revolution  , and the Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War . Being that I am male , I obviously would not be eligible to join the DAR .  So far though , I have just been part of a club that consists of me , myself , and I .  The activity of this club is to buy small U. S.  flags to adorn the graves of Union , and Revolutionary soldiers graves , at a nearby cemetery , whenever I see that the flags have disappeared , and gone unreplaced , which unfortunately happens more often than some might think . And though I have never as of  yet gotten to visit the grave of Stephen D. Burns , there is a grave at the local cemetery I mentioned that no longer has a name marker . So as the identity of this soldier has been lost , I have sort of informally adopted his grave ,  and pay my respects to it , as if it were that of my own ancestor .