Nick Ross: Don't Leave Your Vagina in the Back of Your Car

[rward]

http://www.salon.com/2013/05/28/is_rape ... rgues_yes/

(not breaking link, salon.com doesn't care about us)

Author Nick Ross wants to know why we think it's silly to leave a laptop in the back of a car, but women aren't to blame for their own rapes if they go outside while female. (Perhaps because laptops can't say no?)

“The main argument of my book is this: we can aggravate crime by tempting fate, and we curb it by playing safe. We have come to acknowledge it is foolish to leave laptops on the back seat of the car. We would laugh at a bank that stored sacks of cash by the front door. We would be aghast if an airport badly skimped on its security…. Our forebears might be astonished at how safe women are today given what throughout history would have been regarded as incitement … they would be baffled that girls are mostly unescorted, stay out late, often get profoundly drunk and sometimes openly kiss, grope or go to bed with one-night stands.â€

He also says that if rape victims blame themselves, it's not rape.

“half of all women who have had penetrative sex unwillingly do not think they were raped and this proportion rises strongly when the assault involves a boyfriend, or if the woman is drunk or high on drugs: They led him on, they went too far, it wasn’t forcible, they didn’t make themselves clear … For them rape isn’t always rape.†He adds, “We should not forget, of course, that women can sometimes turn sex to their own advantage, which occasionally has other implications for crime.â€

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[debrand]

I don't know what to say but I've heard this argument over and over. What the hell is wrong with such people? Rape and stealing are not the same crime. A person can steal because they are hungry or just greedy. Most men are not rapists. In order to rape, you must want to dehumanize another human being and to have complete control over them. You have to ignore the terror in their eyes and the physical pain that you are causing them.

[GeoBQn]

If old women, nuns, and three-year-olds can be raped, then rape has nothing to do with how the victim is dressed, whether she is out alone, or her state of intoxication. Rape has everything to do with the presence of the rapist.

[dpndetfarm]

I think it would be a lot easier if instead of women having to worry about their vaginas, men would just rent a safety deposit box for their penii until they get married. :pull-hair:

[dairyfreelife]

No, leaving a laptop in my car would be a bad idea, mostly because temperature and humidity can ruin it, but just because I leave my laptop in my car does not invite someone to break in and steal it. Sometimes thieves do see it as an invitation, but doesn't mean it is. Still don't have the right to tear up my vehicle or take my computer. Liking my car doesn't give anyone the right to break in and take my car. Liking my cell phone doesn't give anyone the right to snatch it. Seeing my credit card number somehow doesn't give someone the right to use it. Seeing a bank vault doesn't give anyone the right to rob it. An unlocked house doesn't give someone the right to enter it or take anything from it. A woman or girl walking down the street doesn't give a man the right to her body.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Id like to leave my vagina in the back of the car at certain times of the month.

Rape isnt something that the victims need to avoid, rape is something rapists need to stop doing.

[Marian the Librarian]

Can I add my uterus, please? We're barely on speaking terms at the moment.

[dpndetfarm]

So by this logic when I see a gentleman walking down the street with his pants low enough to make him a vending machine I am perfectly justified in running up behind him and pulling his pants down to his ankles and laughing maniacally.

I can also give in to my urge to give a kick to the old ball sac when I watch a father berate and jerk by the arm his young child.

I can give in to my urge to hit men who make disparaging remarks about women with my baseball bat.

Why am I expected to be in control of my feelings/urges/actions and men are not?

(This is ignoring the fact that rape isn't about sexual appeal anyway, but Ross apparently either ignores or is ignorant of this teeny tiny fact).

[RosyDaisy]

Enough of this rape apologist shit!!!!

:angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming:

[slh12280]

Rape is totally not the same as stealing or whatever. All I have to do to be raped is exist in the presence of a rapist. Pretty sure that existing is not against the law. What do they want us to do? Never leave the house? You could still get raped by the men that are supposed to be "protecting" you. Look at the Middle East and see how their "rape prevention" works.

[ADoyle90815]

Rape is totally not the same as stealing or whatever. All I have to do to be raped is exist in the presence of a rapist. Pretty sure that existing is not against the law. What do they want us to do? Never leave the house? You could still get raped by the men that are supposed to be "protecting" you. Look at the Middle East and see how their "rape prevention" works.

This. Even if women never leave the house, they can still be raped either by a man who should have "protected" them, or by a rapist breaking in while they're sleeping.

[tralala]

I like how wanda sykes put it http://youtu.be/R8FfFwtL91Q

[crazyforkate]

Newsflash, rape apologists: No one else's body belongs to you. No one else's body belongs to you. No one else's body belongs to you...

[MajorMajor]

In addition to all the other logical things PPs have said, he seems to be missing out on the fact that even if you leave a laptop in plain view in the back of an unlocked car and someone takes it that is STILL STEALING and STILL ILLEGAL!

[rward]

But you guyz, he's totes an ally. He's just trying to help us laydeez and used unfortunate language!

That was an actual thing said about this book.

My husband is an actual ally. Here's what he tells his nephews: If she doesn't specifically say "yes" to the question "do you want to have sex with me", it's rape. Don't rape. And that "yes" cannot be contingent on getting a ride home, having a place to live or continuing a relationship. It has to be a yes that can also be a no just as easily. Nobody owes you sex. You need an orgasm, you got two hands, use either one.

You may notice that no part of that explanation included any advice to the laydeez.

[phoenissadido]

Coming back after a several month hiatus just to tell you, rward, how awesome your husband is :D

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I'm thinking about that woman in Oregon whose ex-boyfriend was trying to break into her house and when she called 911 they basically said, "Sorry. You are on your own because the police only work 9:00 to 5:00." She was in her own home. She was wearing? She tried to get help. She was still brutally raped and beaten.

I was raped in my own home when I was 5. I was wearing pajamas.

I think it is pretty clear that just owning a vagina is enough for some rapists no matter where you are or what you are wearing. Come to think of it, you don't even have to own a vagina-- plenty of boys and men have been raped as well.

[August]

Does he cover the foolishness of men who go outside unarmored and unarmed and then complain of being shot, beaten up or raped? Because, really, a man without a breastplate is just asking for a knife through the heart, isn't he?

[ILoveJellybeans]

You have to wonder what goes on inside the heads of people like this.

Just because it would be physically easy to do something (rape/rob/kill someone who is walking down the street alone at night, steal something left unattended) doesnt mean that most people would even consider doing it. These kind of people are just like the people who say that God is the only thing stopping people having a huge drug and alcohol fueled orgy and then beating eachother up and setting buildings on fire. Theyre obviously filled up with pervertedness and immorality and think everyone else is the same.

Most men, when seeing an immodestly dressed woman, wouldnt even be tempted to rape her. Because they are not rapists. Even if she had her boobs out, at most, there would be a few thoughts of "Wow, shes got nice tits" or a bit of a suprise boner, but no desire to rape her. Most men, when seeing immodestly by fundie standards dressed women (like wearing jeans, or a skirt thats above the knee, and a sleeveless top) wouldnt even care because his culture does not fetishise those body parts. Fundies are way more perverted than normal people.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Complete logic fail.

1. Even if my laptop is stolen from my car, it is still considered a crime. Thief can't say, "but it was just lying there, asking for it".

2. Women DO take precautions. Every. Single. Day. It gets exhausting to live life constantly wondering if you are protecting yourself from rape, because it eliminates your freedom.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I'm just waiting for Sunshine Mary and Judgy Bitch to glom onto this.