One Man's Dramatic Reflection On Succesful Courtship

[debrand]

As I visualize the sand dropping from the top of the hourglass to the bottom, I begin to reflect upon my courtship. Regrets and accomplishments. Failures and victories. Blessings and trials.

Why are so many of the people we cover very melodramatic? I don't have any deep analysis of this article. For some reason the very exaggerated prose amuses me and I thought you would enjoy it.

Inside of the article, the author Pastor Garret Kell, began to slowly amputate the “golden calf†(Exodus Chapter 32) of sexual purity/impurity through courtship’s that we have created, and many have capitalized upon monetarily. He went into great detail by carefully selecting the correct tools to paint a portrait that speak volumes on how sex before marriage cripples couples.

and

. My concern, is built more so upon the materials I have used as the man in the relationship. Did I use the proper nails, wood, and flooring that would make our courtship now be a storm/affair/divorce proof marital house later?

Yes, because your future marriage is just like building a house. If you use the wrong size nails, your bride might notice you have morning breath or crooked toes.

Gratefully, God has shown me that my inconsistency in my courtship is like a person trying build the walls of a house with plastic, wood, and brick simultaneously. Imagine riding down the road and you see a strange house. Its walls are deformed by incorrect material. One row is made of bricks, the next wood, the next plastic milk cartons. Redundant right? So like any wise contractor and future priest over my home, I must begin to reconstruct the matter that could potentially allow divorce to happen. I must go back to those areas that are futile and replace the nugatory walls and flooring of my courtship. I am grateful I have enough time left until June 15th to address these things.

Not only did I have sex with my future husband, neither of us were virgins when we met. In fact, we discussed in detail what we had done with past lovers. I guess our house is built of graham crackers, marshmallows and nutella. (mmmm...nutella)

kingbonner.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/conviction-and-reflection-45-days-left-until-marriage/

It is not king boner but bonner.

[fundyfunland]

WTF?? I'm really confused as to what message this guy is trying to get across. So this guy's wife is divorcing him because he used plastic instead of wood to build stuff? LOL. Ok, I know that's not what he's getting at, but still, what a dumb article!

[debrand]

WTF?? I'm really confused as to what message this guy is trying to get across. So this guy's wife is divorcing him because he used plastic instead of wood to build stuff? LOL. Ok, I know that's not what he's getting at, but still, what a dumb article!

:lol:

[Guest]

Really? King Bonner? How can he not see that?

[AlexIsAwake]

I admit, I first read King Boner. Unfortunate blog title.

[Mela99]

Why are so many of the people we cover very melodramatic? I don't have any deep analysis of this article. For some reason the very exaggerated prose amuses me and I thought you would enjoy it.

and

Yes, because your future marriage is just like building a house. If you use the wrong size nails, your bride might notice you have morning breath or crooked toes.

Not only did I have sex with my future husband, neither of us were virgins when we met. In fact, we discussed in detail what we had done with past lovers. I guess our house is built of graham crackers, marshmallows and nutella. (mmmm...nutella)

kingbonner.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/conviction-and-reflection-45-days-left-until-marriage/

It is not king boner but bonner.

Your house rocks.

[Librul]

What is a nugatory wall? I have a headache just reading this blowhard.

[Jinger Jar]

Why are so many of the people we cover very melodramatic? I don't have any deep analysis of this article. For some reason the very exaggerated prose amuses me and I thought you would enjoy it.

Because emotionally many of them are still adolescents. They have neither a deep nor wide worldview, and they do not have enough life experience to differentiate between the big stuff and the little stuff. You know how to a 12-year-old everything is so very, very important and ohmygod if just the teeniest thing is out place then ohmygod it's the end of the world and we might as well curl up and die now because everything's been ruined, just ruined I say? Fundies are like that.

Also, I get the impression that not many of them are particularly literate, and when they do read secular literature a lot of it is Victoriana. This also could be feeding their penchant for the overwrought, swooning prose.

As to our Dr. Bonner here, I'm not sure how well he understands marriage or home construction.

[CynicMom]

So it looks like he realized he was attracted to her and maybe did some sexy texts or made out. Then he realized that was a SIN so he stopped. If he didn't stop then his marriage would be vulnerable to divorce later.

This guy is awesome.

Plus there's this quote

"her mental battles have been about giving me the best body she possibly can to enter into marriage with"

She has a whole post about how she needs to lose 15 lbs before the wedding.

[jjmennonite]

Hello family! I love addressing those that read my blog as family, because you do not have to take time out of your precious day to read my writing. Nevertheless, I titled this blog “Sacrifice and Stress†because tomorrow is the last day to turn in your RSVP for the wedding =). Unfortunately, some have neglected to respect this due date, and will miss the opportunity to see me and Charmaine have our first dance. This can be stressful because we have family members that live in North Carolina (the state where we dwell) that have not sent their RSVP card back in. And knowing how mentally imbalanced some people are, I am sure they will have an attitude. I politely told my fiancée that if she has any problems with insensitive people, please redirect them to me.

People who have not RSVPed to the wedding and still want to attend are mentally unbalanced. Wow - this guy is a tool.

[pimpom]

So it looks like he realized he was attracted to her and maybe did some sexy texts or made out. Then he realized that was a SIN so he stopped. If he didn't stop then his marriage would be vulnerable to divorce later.

This guy is awesome.

Plus there's this quote

"her mental battles have been about giving me the best body she possibly can to enter into marriage with"

She has a whole post about how she needs to lose 15 lbs before the wedding.

That is just plain disgusting!

[halfheartedheroine]

What is a nugatory wall? I have a headache just reading this blowhard.

Maybe it's a wall of nougat? Mmmmm :drool:

[salex]

The groom is sweating about being pure in the courtship, but the bride says

Truth be told, since college every time I was “in love†I gained a ridiculous amount of weight. Almost every time I broke up with that person…I lost the weight. If only I could use that this time, only problem is… I am MARRYING this gorgeous guy in 109 days sooooo a hard breakup can’t be my motivation.

So, she has dated/broken up, been in love and been to college.

And she is marrying a guy who worries that they may have, as engaged people, gone to far with sexy texts or petting.

[Savoring Samsara]

That is just plain disgusting!

The post in question is also categorized under: Family, Intimacy With God, Purity, Relationships

Us fatties will never be pure nor intimate with god. Who knew. :cupcake:

[salex]

The post in question is also categorized under: Family, Intimacy With God, Purity, Relationships

Us fatties will never be pure nor intimate with god. Who knew. :cupcake:

Here is the link to their proposal .. she doesn't look fat to me. It is posted sideways, btw.

kingbonner.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/charmaine-will-you-marry-me-official-video/

[Jezebel]

Because emotionally many of them are still adolescents. They have neither a deep nor wide worldview, and they do not have enough life experience to differentiate between the big stuff and the little stuff. You know how to a 12-year-old everything is so very, very important and ohmygod if just the teeniest thing is out place then ohmygod it's the end of the world and we might as well curl up and die now because everything's been ruined, just ruined I say? Fundies are like that.

Oh, this. Whenever I read adult fundies writing in this bloated, bombastic style, I remember being 14 or 15 and writing like this and admiring how profound it all sounded.

Yeah, I was a silly girl. But it's perfectly okay to be silly at 14. I think it's even necessary. But at some point, you've got to outgrow it, too--and I'm always amazed at how many fundies not only get stuck in it, but fossilize it so they're offering up solemn pseudoprofundities well into adulthood that sound like something a moody 14-year-old would write.

Also, I get the impression that not many of them are particularly literate, and when they do read secular literature a lot of it is Victoriana. This also could be feeding their penchant for the overwrought, swooning prose.

I suspect they don't read much secular literature, or current nonfiction written from a secular perspective, at all. For some reason, the Maxwells come to mind here. They read the Bible. They might read commentaries and history that support their views of the Bible. They might read classic sermons from 18th and 19th century preachers (and that oratorical style infects their prose). They might read biographies of Christians they wish to emulate, but they are likely to be older ones rather than current, warts-and-all "revisionist" works. If they read a lot, they're still reading books that adhere to their particular worldview, and actively avoiding anything that doesn't directly support it. Reading is supposed to expand their knowledge base, but ultimately its purpose is to help make them better Christians (within their narrow definition of "Christian"). And that shows up in their prose style, as well as their narrow thinking.

As to our Dr. Bonner here, I'm not sure how well he understands marriage or home construction.

If a marriage can be compared to housebuilding, it is a structure that the two partners constantly build, alter, and rebuild over time. Ideally, they've created a strong foundation before they married, and the processes of construction and renovation keep going until one partner dies, or both realize that they each want totally different and incompatible kinds of structures, so they move on. But Bonner seems to think that it's his job to build a permanent, unalterable structure that will last forever, then move a wife into it--who will then maintain the structure he's built, doing so to his specifications. He might as well be building a jail; I can hear the door clang shut from here.

[Savoring Samsara]

Here is the link to their proposal .. she doesn't look fat to me. It is posted sideways, btw.

kingbonner.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/charmaine-will-you-marry-me-official-video/

Oh man I'm not watching 12 minutes worth of that.

From the tiny bit I did watch, though - yes, she looks great. And even if she were heavier, it wouldn't matter. At all the weddings I've been to, the thing I remember most about how the bride looked was the joyful smile on her face. The question of how many pounds she weighed never even entered my mind. I think everyone is beautiful on their wedding day.

[mlady]

They (he) WANTS to be in a "perfect Christ centerned courtship", defined by whatever they (he) are trying to follow right at this moment. They (he) realizes they started too late and want to rewrite history by going back and checking off all the boxes on a worksheet they (he) probably found somewhere.

I tell you what, he doesn't sound mature enough to get married. And I hope he isn't counting on some rocking body on his wife forever either.

[salex]

kingbonner.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/charmaine-will-you-marry-me-official-video/