Another Entry in "I Read It So You Don't Have To"

[Chowder Head]

Clean :dance: Seriously, I try not to wear them unless I got to. Right now mauve with white dash cirles. Ooo i, m styling.

[Avalondaughter]

Okay. He has me on the Wal Mart thing. I also live in the NYC area, so I have a lot of small business alternatives. See? I love small businesses. He also has me on the John Wayne thing. I'm not into those manly man characters he played and personally I hated his politics. My liberal grandfather loved him. I also hate giant, gas guzzling vehicles when people drive them for no good reason.

I live in the suburbs (hate big cities). I love swimming and wish I had a pool. I love a GOOD steakhouse (rather Morton's than Outback). I bake a mean apple pie. Science was not my best subject in school, but I love and appreciate it as I love seeing the world and how it works explained to me.

Most of all, I love my country. I love it with everything I have. As much as its government and some of its citizens drive me nuts, I won't leave it because I intend to stay and fight for it. This is what regressives don't understand and don't want to know.

[flojo]

Did he just open a big book of nouns and pick 50 at random? And then rationalise them? Ooh, let me try!

(using a random noun generator):

1. Ants: Liberals hate ants because ants understand that they each have to work hard for the good of the community. There is no such thing as a welfare ant. You don't see ants demanding free handouts from the government, do you?

2. Battle: This is obvious. Liberals are all smelly effeminate hippies and they are frightened by the manliness of war.

3. Sweatshirts: Liberals hate sweatshirts because the word makes them think of sweatshops, and liberals have no appreciation of the glorious fact that this country was founded on the underpaid, inhumane work of (generally) non-white people.

4. Diplomas: Liberals hate diplomas because they are proof that their prized marxist-stalinist-facsist universities do not create jobs or encourage productivity. Every diploma hanging on the wall of a college grad in a minimum wage job is proof that socialism doesn't work.

5. Canada: Liberals hate Canada because Canada is proof that liberalism does not work. Just ask anyone who has had to suffer through the bureaucracy of filling in forms in triplicate in the hopes that you will get through the government's death panels in order to see the doctor they assign to you. I have it on good authority this is how health-care works in Canada - I saw it on Fox once.

6.Lemonade: Liberals hate lemonade because lemonade is a symbol of relaxing on a saturday after a hard week's work. Liberals hate hard work. Liberals can only stomach lemonade if they mix it with satan's beverage, alcohol.

7.Museums: Liberals hate museums because museums document how much better the past was as compared to our modern, godless age. Liberals especially hate the creation museum because it forces them to admit that they have no proof of evolution, which is their religion.

8.Ideas: Liberals hate ideas because they want everyone to be assimilated into the marxist-feminist gay agenda and therefore think in exactly the same way.

9.Icicles: Liberals hate Icicles because they are proof that global warming doesn't exist. If the planet is heating up, why would there still be winter?

10.Brian: Liberals hate Brian because Brian is a good, upstanding, traditional male name. The fact that there are still Brians is proof that liberals will never win over True American Culture. It burns them up that there are more Brian Smiths than there are Mohamed Darwin-Marx Smiths.

Hell, this guy was being lazy. I could write at least a hundred of these things in an afternoon.

So much fun! I'm gonna try:

1.Deadline: Liberals hate deadlines because it requires them to do their work. They would rather have drum circles in the forest, using drums paid for on the government,

2. Recorder: Liberals hate recorders because it's frequently the first instrument a child learns to play on their own. This self-reliance for music production goes against liberal values.

3. Tongue: Liberals hate tongues because tongues required for saying the pledge of allegiance.

4. Cat: Liberals hate cats because cats hunt for their food. They are strictly carnivores, going against tre-hugging veganism.

5. Shield: Liberals hate shields because shield protect men and their families, much like guns. Liberals hate any form of self defense.

6. Yugoslavian: Liberals hate anything Yugoslavian, as the history of former Yugoslavia proves communism does not work! The bootstrap mentality of many of the citizens of the former Yugoslavian nations in rebuilding their nations from the destruction of communism disgusts liberals.

7. Sister-in-law: Liberals hate sisters-in-law because they indicate marriage, specifically marriage between one man and one woman, which liberals hate. Furthermore, the term sister-in-law implies the person in a woman, and acknowledgement of sex something liberals hate.

8. Alligator: Liberals hate alligators because they come from Florida, a state with many conservatives. The fact alligators are frequently found on golf courses frustrates the liberals because it shows their attack on the retirement activities of hardworking citizens who worked hard for their retirement money to be failing.

9. Imprisonment: Liberals hate imprisonment because they believe criminals should receive no justice, and instead be given handouts.

10. Radio: liberals hate radio because it is the one place Rush Limbaugh is free to share truth, without the lame stream liberal media twisting it.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I'm a vegetarian, socialist, feminist, public transportation-using, cage-free-egg eating, chlorine (and thus pool) hating, anti-corporation, co-op shopping, Democracy Now!-listening, cohabitating, childless, atheist, East Coast graduate student. I'm this guy's worst nightmare and I love it.

[louisa05]

4. Cat: Liberals hate cats because cats hunt for their food. They are strictly carnivores, going against tre-hugging veganism.

You jest, but my husband works for a pet food company where the customer service line regularly gets calls asking if they would consider making vegetarian or vegan foods for cats or dogs.

My answer to this would be, if you want a vegetarian pet, get a rabbit. Don't torture a dog or cat to death with malnutrition. :roll:

[Dinorah]

You jest, but my husband works for a pet food company where the customer service line regularly gets calls asking if they would consider making vegetarian or vegan foods for cats or dogs.

My answer to this would be, if you want a vegetarian pet, get a rabbit. Don't torture a dog or cat to death with malnutrition. :roll:

Yeah once I came across a vegan website which ha a whole "vegan pet food" section. If you're that disturbed by the idea of animals dying otherwise than naturally, you should get a rabbit or other herbivore pet. It's also difficult to claim that cats and dogs eat meat because evil humans induced them to do so.

[GolightlyGrrl]

So liberals don't like small businesses, but also frown upon Walmart? what's left, churning my own butter?

Yes, you must churn your own butter as long as your butter churn doesn't have a union and isn't Muslim.

Even though I'm not fond of Wal-Mart I can be found at big box stores like Target. Hmm, and I must say I've never seen shoppers like this at Target. Maybe I'm missing something by not going to Wally World.

http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/ ... -what.html

The alternative "What Liberals Hate About America" stuff you Jingerites have provided is seriously funny.

[halfheartedheroine]

I definitely fall into the hating Wal-Mart camp... but I might be a bit biased because I'm working there currently lol

[salex]

Because all true blooded Americans are the exact same and have the exact same taste. They even wear the same brand and color of underwear.

[JesusFightClub]

In fact, a conservative’s idea of art is a black velvet painting of a crying Glenn Beck.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :worship:

I wanna play random nouns too!

1. Cinema. Liberals hate cinema because it encourages strong, manly values such as blowing things up, shooting brown people, fanatical nationalism and the good guy getting the girl. They attempt to destroy it and replace it with icky foreign crap which encourages faggotry and speaking in tongues.

2. Dry. Liberals hate anything dry, as it reminds them of the constant anguish and butt rash they feel from their sopping wet red diapers.

3. Feeling. Liberals have nothing but disdain for real feelings such as hatred of America's enemies (everywhere else) and blind, adoring, worshipping love of the military and big guns. They replace these REAL feelings with LYING feelings such as hatred...of everything decent and manly and blind, adoring, worshipping love...of rampant sweaty buttsex.

4. Industry. That goes without saying, ya pussy.

5. Kidney. Liberals hate kidneys for kidneys represent capitalism in its purest and holiest form. A poor man lies on a bed in a fly-blown hospital ward, sacrificing what is dearest to him - one of his very own kidneys - that a rich, dying American may live. What could be nobler? And what's more, his family could even get a few extra cups of rice or whatever shit they eat instead of burgers. It's a win-win situation for everyone.

6. Malaysia. Liberals hate Malaysia cause they secretly hate everyone who ain't white. They just pretend otherwise. Also, you can go to jail for taking it up the ass there, and that's not gonna please Johnny Liberal.

7. Money. See "Industry".

8. Punch. Liberals hate punch with a frothing hatred, cause it symbolises good, clean, innocent party fun. They would snatch the cup of punch from the lips of an innocent child and fill it with a potent mix of vodka, Satan's piss and crystal meth, and then force the sweet babe to drink it. If they thought they could get away with it.

9. Tractor. Liberals pretend to like tractors - hey, check out some Commie art if you don't believe me - but secretly they spit bile at the very thought of the image of technology and endeavour that the proud tractor represents. If it was up to them, we'd be ploughing our fields by plucking up grass stem by stem while whispering apologies to Gaia.

10. Waterfall. Liberals hate waterfalls cause they show the beauty of God's creation and simultaneously disprove evolution, Marxism, feminism, anthropology, the Enlightenment, abiogenesis, lesbianism and the Big Bang. I expect that as we speak Hussein Obummer is drafting up an Executive Order to put to death waterfalls and everyone who loves them. WOLVERINES!

[debrand]

I love random nouns but I'm not clever enough to play :embarrassed:

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I think this guy is trying to say that liberals aren't "normal." We don't enjoy sitting out on the patio by the pool, sipping a beer while the steaks grill and the apple pie cools on the windowsill.

I guess I'm somewhere in the middle of his list, not that it matters because no one fits into his little slots. I hate Wal-Mart but I still go there at times because it's close and cheap, and because if you buy a damn giftcard in the store it saves you .10 a gallon at their pumps. That's extremely handy because my husband constantly drives for work and I drive a Jetta tdi and diesel has been creeping up to 4.29/gal around here. Yes, I fucking hate Wal-Mart, but it's a necessary evil for many and I don't judge people for going there. I did just join Costco, which is a 45 min drive, and I'm hoping like hell to stock up there and eliminate 99% of my Wal-Mart shopping.

I love small, local business and I frequent them as much as humanly possible. I like steak but I don't eat much red meat, and again, I don't really care who eats what. Conservative women baffle the hell out of me. I border on anti-theist, but I would never, ever support religion being banished by law. I fully support my husband's plans to V-8 his '50 Chevy if he ever gets the time and money to work on the damn thing. John Wayne has never appealed to me and I couldn't care less about is political affiliation or what he stood for. Could not care less. I'm just not into western type movies. And I love swimming and love pools. I love sitting out on the deck or in my sunporch. That's where I am right now and where you'll find me the majority of the time in the non-winter months.

And I very strongly believe that today's conservative party is the group who hates the US, obviously so. Liberals are the real patriots and that's a label we really need to take back. Our Democratic party is really dropping the ball there.

[Olive Plant]

The most liberal person I know owns a small business and a small arsenal of guns, occasionally shops at Wal-Mart, eats steak two to eight times a week, likes apple pie, is from the south and now lives in the west.

The second-most liberal person I know lives on the East Coast and is a vegetarian, and probably fits his profile a little better. But she still likes apple pie and falls under the Christian denomination.

Me, I'm pretty liberal by American standards, but I get deals at Wal-Mart at times even though the shopping experience there is crappy. I once tried to start a small business, and now work for a pretty small business (what's his definition of "small" anyway?) and another pretty tiny one. I don't like pie in general but I seriously love the west. The WEST? Has this guy ever heard of Portland? Or Seattle? Or San Francisco?

In other news, I'm playing the dictionary game:

Colosseum: Liberals hate the Colosseum because it proves Christians were a persecuted minority.

manatee (sea cow): Liberals hate manatees because these creatures are large and ugly, just like liberal women, and thus they consider the term to be potentially insulting and politically incorrect.

feet, foot: Liberals hate feet because feet prove that some things are more lowly than others.

[keen23]

I'm an atheist liberal, very left leaning liberal at that, and I love steak and make a killer apple pie! Oh, and I live in gun loving Arizona, for fucks sake.

[GolightlyGrrl]

My friend Kristine is very liberal, and makes a mean apple pie, including pie crust from scratch.

I seriously doubt Ann Coulter even eats apple pie, let alone can make one from scratch. I bet the only thing that has been in her mouth has been cigarettes, Chardonnay, and semen-yeah, I went there.