Kelly 2 chicken breasts made me pee my pants..

[OkToBeTakei]

generationcedar.com/main/2013/05/ebook-sale-of-a-lifetime-ends-tonight.html

Seriously I peed my pants laughing. You have to get by the' Sale of the Century of books which will teach you fuck all,' first but then you get to this gem..

The Real Reason I Have So Many Children

Ooooh!

Well then there is the usual biblical crap. Then there is...

But what if that one that I didn’t accept–what if he or she had a particularly crucial role in the life of another? (And don’t we all?) What if he or she would give birth to someone who had a critical role in the life of another?

It starts to sound like a fun premise for a science-fiction movie; one little move in history changes everything. But couldn’t it?

Are you the child of a woman who was the child of a fifth-born? Changed your life. Well, brought it into its very existence. It blows my mind. And THAT is why I don’t want to hinder what belongs to the Lord. Many things He gives me to choose; but I don’t feel qualified in the life-department. It’s just feels too big for me.

She then lists said life changing individuals..

Jonathan Edwards–5th of eleven children

Benjamin Franklin–8th of 10 children

Napoleon Bonaparte–4th of 10 children

George Washington–5th of 10 children

John Wesley–15th of 19 children (Susanna, mother, 25th child)

Johann Sebastian Bach–8th of 8

Sylvanus Crosby (grandfather of Fanny Crosby)–19th of 19

Celine Dion–14th of 14 children

CELINE DION!!!

For fuck sake. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Salamander]

Are you the child of a woman who was the child of a fifth-born? Changed your life. Well, brought it into its very existence. It blows my mind. And THAT is why I don’t want to hinder what belongs to the Lord. Many things He gives me to choose; but I don’t feel qualified in the life-department. It’s just feels too big for me.

Man, I dunno, it's like, the world is just so BIG, yanno, blows my mind, when I make babies I'm creating whole other people, bringing them into existence, and that's ME doing that, I'm just so small but the LORD chooses me to do his work and it's an honor, man, really it's an honor.

[Dinorah]

But, with th exception of Celine Dion, all of these were born at times when people had lots of children not because God told them so but because of lack of birth control and high infant mortality (how many of the other children in those families lived to adulthood, I wonder?). Plus I'm sure you could find a list of famous people coming from small families, or who are only children, or, I don't know, dictators or criminals who are the 5th child of a 5th child. It's like the "you might be aborting the next Mozart" but you might as well be aborting the next Hitler.

[Arete]

Igor Stravinsky- only child

Franklin Delano Roosevelt- only child

Sir Alexander Flemming- third of 4

Queen Elizabeth II- First of 2

Ronald Reagan- second of 2

Sally Ride- First of 2

Steve Jobs- First of 2

[Anny Nym]

Missus K2C actually does know that this dumb game works both ways, or doesn´t she:

Adolf Hitler - 4th of 7

Pol Pot - 8th of 9

Nicolae Ceaucescu - 3rd of 10

Osama Bin Laden - 17th of ~ 50

...

[MrsYoungie]

I hate it when fundies do this. It's like every aborted baby is either Einstein or Jonas Salk, never Hitler or Charles Manson.

[formergothardite]

I think this might be the only time that Celine Dion has made it on a list with Benjamin Franklin.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, Kelly, but what if the baby you never had was the next Hitler, or became a terrorist, shot up a school, was a criminal...

The thing is, you cant have every possibility to have a baby. What if you concieved the baby that existed, but you were supposed to concieve the month after with the baby that was planned to grow up to cure cancer? How many people in the world who made something of themselves were only concieved because their mother had unprotected sex with someone they werent married to, or were only concieved because their mom had an abortion 6 months before? What if the sperm that didnt reach the egg would have made the baby that would grow up to be the future president?

Just be happy with the kids you have...especially when you can hardly afford to feed them.

[uber frau]

My uncle: 5th of 24. sexually abused every single one of his younger sisters, every one of his 5 daughters, and a good number of his nieces as well.

My godmother: 3rd of 12. Took over running a household @ the age of 9 or 10 when her mother died birthing the youngest sibling. Took over the entire family @ age 16 when her father was arrested by the Nazis. Became a successful professional woman later but was put off marriage and having children forever.

My maternal both grandparents:both oldest of 9. Both forced to quite school after only a few years (3Rd grade in my grandmother'a case, sixth in my grandfather's) to go and pick potatoes to feed their families. (Although, that would never happen in Kelly's family. They don't need to eat more than chicken flavoured gruel and I doubt they're getting much of an education to quit, anyway.)

My uncle:eldest of 24. Quit school at 11 to feed siblings despite winning a prestigious music scholarship. Later became father of 12 (although he couldn't actually remember how many he had) and spent every moment he wasn't working trying to give himself something like the music education he's been denied as a child.

A woman my brother dated (about twice). Eldest of 10. Encouraged to quite school asap (15th birthday) despite showing interest and promise in science. Since her parents believe a woman's purpose is to marry and become a mother, they thought it would be be pointless for to continue.at school. Now aged 22, pregnant with her 5th child, miserable, broke, and thoroughly brainwashed.to believe that her lot in life is to breed. (Never under estimate the threat of hellfire to keep ppl from daring to ask questions)

These are just the stories of some of the ppl who are, or have been part of my close 'family' circle. Large families can be a good thing, some parents of

families are brilliant and children who are born into large families can go on to be healthy and happy adults, but it is by no means guaranteed, in fact, looking at the families know, it's more likely to be a cause of deprivation than anything else. (But then, I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir here).

[MamaJunebug]

Man, I dunno, it's like, the world is just so BIG, yanno, blows my mind, when I make babies I'm creating whole other people, bringing them into existence, and that's ME doing that, I'm just so small but the LORD chooses me to do his work and it's an honor, man, really it's an honor.

Kelly didn't make me LOL but salamander, young woman, YOU sure did!

Glad somebody beat me to it about the whole "if your grandma had stopped at 2...." business, as I wasn't relishing the research as to Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer's birth orders. *shudder!*

Curious that this comes up, because the other day I actually let my mind wander to what would've happened if my grandfolks had stopped at 2 - my dad was 5th of 6.

Honestly? I couldn't come up with one person whose life and contributions so changed the world that we'd've been lesser for it. Oh, sure, sure, I understand that a thousand micro-gestures of kindness and support by my ancestors and the rest of us have been beneficial. But could the world have done without Aunts M & B and my dad and Uncle C? Could it have done without their 12 progeny? Not a JS Bach nor even a Celine Dion among us.

The salient point here is that Kelly has lots of kids because it's turned into a good gig for her.

And part of the gig is that she gets to write these articles to keep her fans tuned in and adoring. God has about as much to do with it as whether it'll rain today - that is to say, if the climate conditions go one way, yes, it'll rain; and if Kelly and her husband continue to have coitus and are fertile, yes, there'll be more children.

ETA: I prefer to call her Kelly Snake-Oil Saleswoman. But 2 CB works, too.

[Jana814]

But, with th exception of Celine Dion, all of these were born at times when people had lots of children not because God told them so but because of lack of birth control and high infant mortality (how many of the other children in those families lived to adulthood, I wonder?). Plus I'm sure you could find a list of famous people coming from small families, or who are only children, or, I don't know, dictators or criminals who are the 5th child of a 5th child. It's like the "you might be aborting the next Mozart" but you might as well be aborting the next Hitler.

Very true!!

[docmom]

I don't get it. If god is all powerful, omniscient etc and he decides a certain person needs to be born, is birth conrol going to stop him? If he wanted every woman to have elventy million kids why did he allow scientists to discover contraception? Why do 50% of all conceptions end in natural miscarriage? Maybe god realizes the world the world is reaching its capacity for humans and allowed the presence of highly effective contraceptives to make sure we don't overpopulate. Or maybe the guy in the sky doesn't really control this at all...

[BlondeAgent007]

Yeah I was gonna say too, how many of those people influenced history within the last 100 years, save possibly :worship: Celine Dion? :worship:

Seriously, Celine Dion?

[GolightlyGrrl]

AretoJo and Anny Nym. And Anny Nym are you the Lily who posted the dissenting comment at Kelly's blog? If so, thanks!

I don't think Kelly is going to give birth to the next Hitler, but I don't exactly think she's going to give birth to the next George Washington (who btw way never children of his own) or even the next Celine Dion (who seems fine with only three).

Most likely Kelly's children will be just as faceless and nameless as the rest of us. And seriously, Kelly's post isn't about her children; it's all about HER! A tiresome humblebrag how she is merely a fecund vessel for the glory of God with a dash of "BUY A BUNCH SHIT!"

[ILoveJellybeans]

I don't get it. If god is all powerful, omniscient etc and he decides a certain person needs to be born, is birth conrol going to stop him? If he wanted every woman to have elventy million kids why did he allow scientists to discover contraception? Why do 50% of all conceptions end in natural miscarriage? Maybe god realizes the world the world is reaching its capacity for humans and allowed the presence of highly effective contraceptives to make sure we don't overpopulate. Or maybe the guy in the sky doesn't really control this at all...

God got a virgin pregnant, he shouldnt have a problem with impregnating someone who is using birth control.

[longskirtlotsakids]

All I can say is- all of you- Need to read Roald Dahls' short story "Genesis and Catastrophe." It throws this lady's "reasons under a bus and is accurately and carefully researched. It's a brilliant little piece.

http://arsethica.files.wordpress.com/20 ... e_dahl.pdf

Not breaking cuz thats what it's for.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I'm pretty sure that if we looked up all the monsters in history, they would have the same stats!

[ThisOlGirl]

I'll eat my hat if any of Kelly's homeskooled spawn make any impact on the world on the scale of Einstein or Ben Franklin. Not that they couldn't without the right tools--I'm sure they're just as smart other kids. Unfortunately, Kelly is bound and determined to deprive the of everything they need to make Einstein-like contributions to the world. You know, things like education, independence, critical thinking skills...

OKTBT--the name "Kelly 2 Breasts" cracks me up. To me it sounds like a character in a bad mafia movie. :lol:

[dairyfreelife]

Famous only children: Charles Lindbergh, Condoleeza Rice, Elvis Presley, Frank Borman, Hans Christian Andersen, John Lennon, John the Baptist, Lance Armstrong, Leonardo Da Vinci, Mahatma Gandhi, Robert De Niro, Sammy David Jr.,

Famous children of large families: Adolf Hitler (4th of 6), Pol Pot (8th of 9), others too, but those are from the top of my head.

I could do evil only children or those from small families as well...point is that the size of the family doesn't seem to determine success.

[Marian the Librarian]

Mercy, but isn't Kelly just the ne plus ultra of fundie fecundity arrogance and narcissism. :evil:

[GolightlyGrrl]

Other famous only children

Betty White, Cary Grant, Cole Porter, Eleanor Roosevelt, Gerald Ford, Isaac Newton, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Leonardo da Vinci, Ted Koppel, Walter Cronkite, Robert De Niro, Nancy Reagan, Laura Bush, Frank Sinatra, Ezra Pound, Gregory Peck, John Updike.

[thoughtful]

Other famous only children

Betty White, Cary Grant, Cole Porter, Eleanor Roosevelt, Gerald Ford, Isaac Newton, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Leonardo da Vinci, Ted Koppel, Walter Cronkite, Robert De Niro, Nancy Reagan, Laura Bush, Frank Sinatra, Ezra Pound, Gregory Peck, John Updike.

:big-heart: :multi-heart:

The whole idea that any one birth could be The Baby That Will Be the Greatest is such an odd concept, to me. I wrote a long post about it (among other things) earlier today on the Tasmania abortion thread, so I won't repeat myself here.

But really - trying to determine who will be great, based on number of siblings? That way lies madness.

Oh, and OKTBT, I agree that her list, culminating in . . . Celine Dion (!) is pretty funny.

[Dysfundamental]

Jesus was an only child, CASE CLOSED.

[chaotic life]

I'm not sure any branch of Christianity holds that Jesus was an only child, actually.

Catholic and Orthodox tradition says that Joseph was an older widower with several children and that while Jesus was Mary's only child, Jesus was raised with those siblings by Joseph.

Protestants don't hold to church tradition and hold that Jesus instruction on the cross that Mary was the mother of other sons was not assigning responsibility of his own mother to someone else but his literal biological brother.

I believe both schools of thought assign that he was not an only child per se, regardless of how they look at it.

The problem with Kelly's point is that it is not only fear based, which really if you think about it limits the god she claims is so all powerful in the first place. It's also insane and illogical. Every person who lives must have A birth order. Therefore, you can find both influential and evil individuals from families with many children. You can equally find both influential and evil individuals from families with only or very small numbers of siblings. All you are actually stating is that every inddividual born is born within the context of a family environment. It's not a compelling argument that you cannot control your own fertility. It's merely a by-product of being born in the first place.

[OkToBeTakei]

I'm not sure any branch of Christianity holds that Jesus was an only child, actually.

Catholic and Orthodox tradition says that Joseph was an older widower with several children and that while Jesus was Mary's only child, Jesus was raised with those siblings by Joseph.

Protestants don't hold to church tradition and hold that Jesus instruction on the cross that Mary was the mother of other sons was not assigning responsibility of his own mother to someone else but his literal biological brother.

I believe both schools of thought assign that he was not an only child per se, regardless of how they look at it.

The problem with Kelly's point is that it is not only fear based, which really if you think about it limits the god she claims is so all powerful in the first place. It's also insane and illogical. Every person who lives must have A birth order. Therefore, you can find both influential and evil individuals from families with many children. You can equally find both influential and evil individuals from families with only or very small numbers of siblings. All you are actually stating is that every inddividual born is born within the context of a family environment. It's not a compelling argument that you cannot control your own fertility. It's merely a by-product of being born in the first place.

OR you can be responsible for Celine.

Which goes on and on and on and on and bloody on!!

and on!