Pam Stenzel, slut-shaming public speaker in high schools

[Freyacat]

Jezebel had an article about this woman who is going around giving pro-abstinence speeches in schools. Apparently she's careful to avoid explicit religious talk in public schools but includes it in parochial schools and youth group talks. Her talk boils down to shaming teens who have had sex; from some of the quotes she certainly seems to come down more critically on girls than boys (no shock there). Bullshit like this is why I care about fundies. They want to shove their dangerous, shaming ideas down everyone else's throats.

http://jezebel.com/terrifying-public-hi ... -472610594

[lilwriter85]

The mention of Pam Stenzel brings back memories of my Catholic days. My Catholic confirmation teachers used her videos when it came to sex and marriage topics. I watched these videos back in 2000 and 2001. Those videos did contain slut shaming and she heavily pushed abstinence. Part of her videos focused on anti-choice attitudes. Pam was adopted and her birth mother was a a teenage rape victim. She has a very annoying voice and I remember everyone in my confirmation class was annoyed with her.. My cousin's two sons attended a large Catholic high school in northern California. Pam spoke there to students and parents and my cousin and her hubby found Pam to be too extreme. This was back in 2008 or 2009. She does have a following with hardcore Catholics and some Protestants like her. I'm glad there was backlash against her after she spoke at that school. I don't remember if she discussed birth control in the videos I watched.

[crassy]

I feel extremely lucky that this douche did not come north of the border (and that I am old). To be quite honest, I had no idea that schools taught this shit until I was well into adulthood. We had Sue Johannsen come to our school every year and talk to us about masturbating, safe anal sex, and the best sex toys to use.

I bet she would have made Pam's head explode.

[bluelady]

When are these people going to understand that abstinence only sex education doesn't work?

I teach sex education in a public middle school. I am very clear with my students (and their parents) that I do not talk about what is good/bad or right/wrong because that differs for everybody. I draw my line at legal/illegal. If they ask me about abortion, I will talk to them about it in terms of what it is and that it is legal in Canada. If they ask me if getting an abortion is right, I tell them that it is a personal decision and refer them to their parents. I once had a student ask me what the right age to have sex was. I told them that it is different for everyone. We talked, as a class, about the potential consequences to having sex, including STIs and unwanted pregnancy, and the emotional side that can come with having sex. Beyond that, I referred the to their parents. My job as an educator is to do just that - educate them. Not make decisions for them.

Oh, and Sue Johannsen rocks. When I was in university, all the girls on my dorm floor would get together on Sunday, have a couple of drinks and watch the Sunday Night Sex Show. We called in a couple of times, too.

[Freyacat]

When I was in university, all the girls on my dorm floor would get together on Sunday, have a couple of drinks and watch the Sunday Night Sex Show. We called in a couple of times, too.

We did the same thing in my university! :) Fun times.

[lilwriter85]

I also remember Sue Johansen's show and she also appeared on an episode of Degrassi playing a fictionalized version of herself.

[Effie]

Ugh isn't that something similar to what Kelly's daughter Bria is doing, when ministering to "promiscuous drug addicts"? Slut-shaming? I feel absolutely disgusted. Unprofessional people like these should be banned.

[HeckBound]

If my kids had to take time away from academics to listen to this crap I'd be right annoyed. On the other hand, I have boys, and we all know that evil scheming harlots are the ones responsible for all this premarital sinning. So they'd likely be exempt.

[dairyfreelife]

Article is about my hometown, but not my high school. GW is actually a wealthy school by state standards as the wealthiest people reside in that area of the city and a number of the children have a parent or 2 who are lawyers. I know that abstinence only education has been starting to increase here and a couple of the new health teachers are super religious and anti premartial sex. My high school health teacher told us all the details and types of contraception and when someone asked what would be 100% foolproof, she said "abstaining from sex, but that's not likely since few people never will have sex." However, my sister had a different health teacher and he was apparently hard-core abstinence only.

[slh12280]

This is how I used to think. I was brought up in all this stuff but I did go to public school, which was comprehensive sex ed. Don't think I have heard of this woman, though. Now, overall I don't think there is anything wrong with encouraging teens to abstain from sexual activity. However, the way that people often go about it is totally wrong. It should not be motivated by shame, guilt or fear. Young people deserve to know the facts about how their bodies work and how to make wise decisions. Virginity should NEVER be tied to self worth. I know from first hand experience how damaging that is. Another thing, women are not the "guardians" of men. Women want to have sex too. So, I think that teens should be taught about birth control, STD's, etc. but also they should be taught about emotional/relational issues that could arise. All of this while acknowledging that sometimes bad choices can happen and girls, especially, should not be shamed. Of course, I would hope, that most teens would be getting guidance at home but I know that doesn't always happen so the school needs to step in. So, overall, I would say that teens need to be educated about how to make good choices.

[Marian the Librarian]

I could only make it through a minute or so of the video. This is the sort of person who, in addition to making me want to chew a bowl of carpet tacks, brings out my uber-investigator. A few facts:

Speakermix.com gives Stenzel's back story: she was conceived as the result of a rape, and placed for adoption at 5 months. She got her degree in psychology at Liberty University (of Jerry Falwell fame), and the 501©(3) nonprofit company she founded is called "Enlighten Communications." Speakermix puts her appearance fee at $5,000 - 10,000 a pop. Enlightencom.com lists several other presenters; their unified message appears to be virginity, purity and abstinence above all else.

Per Guidestar.org, Enlighten Communications only cleared $268,799 in 2011. Their IRS form 990 states, "Pamela Stenzel, the Executive Director, is the daughter of Tom Wood, the Treasurer...Ms. Stenzel also owns a for profit company, the Core-Alliance Group. The Core-Alliance Group markets books, tapes and CDs created by Ms. Stenzel."

Core-Alliance is based in Grand Rapids, Michigan; per the Grand Rapids Chamber of Commerce, Core-Alliance has an annual sales volume of $501K - 999,999K.

In other words, shaming and fear-mongering can be a very lucrative business.

[HeckBound]

Liberty also brought us Nate Lawrenson.

[herebedragons]

Pam Stenzel spoke at my (Catholic, but liberal) high school about 8 years ago. I remember that she had many girls in tears, and people were a bit shell-shocked coming out of her talk. She terrified the boys at our brother school, talking all sorts of legalese about pregnancy and sex with minors.

At the time, I bought into what she was saying, mainly because at that point she was the ONLY adult in my life to ever talk about sex in such an open way. A friend and I even went up to her afterwards and she was friendly to us (probably because we wanted to say "thanks for the great talk"). I really wanted to believe her message when I heard her. Now I'm just mad that she makes a living off of scaring teens into abstinence or making them feel guilty for already having lost their virginity.

I recently rewatched some of her videos on YouTube, and she is extemely abrasive, something that apparently didnt set off alarm bells for my high-school self.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Ugh isn't that something similar to what Kelly's daughter Bria is doing, when ministering to "promiscuous drug addicts"? Slut-shaming? I feel absolutely disgusted. Unprofessional people like these should be banned.

Wait a minute! Bria is doing what?

[Freyacat]

This is how I used to think. I was brought up in all this stuff but I did go to public school, which was comprehensive sex ed. Don't think I have heard of this woman, though. Now, overall I don't think there is anything wrong with encouraging teens to abstain from sexual activity. However, the way that people often go about it is totally wrong. It should not be motivated by shame, guilt or fear. Young people deserve to know the facts about how their bodies work and how to make wise decisions. Virginity should NEVER be tied to self worth. I know from first hand experience how damaging that is. Another thing, women are not the "guardians" of men. Women want to have sex too. So, I think that teens should be taught about birth control, STD's, etc. but also they should be taught about emotional/relational issues that could arise. All of this while acknowledging that sometimes bad choices can happen and girls, especially, should not be shamed. Of course, I would hope, that most teens would be getting guidance at home but I know that doesn't always happen so the school needs to step in. So, overall, I would say that teens need to be educated about how to make good choices.

Out of curiosity, do you automatically consider it a "bad choice" for a teen to have sex? I do agree that teens need to hear there is nothing wrong with abstaining from sex if they don't feel ready, even if many if their friends are in sexual relationships. And I agree that there should be support and not shame for teens who make decisions that they regret. I'm not sure I agree with labeling all teen sex as a bad choice though. It's an entirely normal choice, and is not necessarily always unhealthy or regrettable, IMO.

[Peppercorn]

In other words, shaming and fear-mongering can be a very lucrative business.

Wow. Thanks for the info, uber-investigator, depressing as it is.

I like to think I'd have walked out on a speaker like that when I was in school, but probably not. Too shy. Much eye-rolling though.

The more liberal parents should be demanding an equal-time speaker. Funny how there's always money in the budget to pay for screechy slut-shaming lectures. The school in the original article used private donations, but I doubt they all have.

[louisa05]

The best presentation on issues of sexuality that was ever given at any school I taught at was a group of young college age kids who did a session on healthy relationships. They didn't preach abstinence and they didn't shame anyone. What they did do is really give the kids a picture of a healthy and equal dating relationship. Unfortunately, many teens don't really know what that is. Many believe that clinging and isolating relationships are normal; that extreme jealousy or possessiveness is a good thing, and that the boys get to call the shots in all things. This group really empowered them to think about making healthy choices about dating and sex.

[samurai_sarah]

not helpful. deleted.

[RosyDaisy]

When I got "the talk" from my mother, she didn't shame me into staying a virgin until marriage, although it highly recommended it. She told me about all forms of contraception and to come to her when I thought I might need some. She also told me she loved and will stand behind me no matter what. She gave my sister the same speech. My sister is following in her footsteps as the mother of 2 daughters and 1 son.

The only talk we got in school was the puberty talk in 4th grade. It was all about periods and hygiene, and we got a goody bag with feminine hygiene products, and samples of shampoo, soap, and deodorant. No talk of sex at all. Years ago when I was in 7th grade, I remember a girl in gym class started her period. She was hysterical and scared to death. Obviously nobody gave her that talk. Some of us tried to explain what was happening to her and offered her some sanitary pads, but she was still shaken up. It wasn't like the scene from Carrie where mean girls hurled pads and tampons at her and made fun of her. We were honestly trying to help her. I went and got the gym teacher (who was a woman) and the school nurse. I'm not sure what happened after that. Poor thing I felt so sorry for her. What parent doesn't give their kid the puberty talk?

[infooverload]

We did the same thing in my university! :) Fun times.

I remember her show use to be on Oxygen back in the early 2000's and then right after it was a soft core porn show. Your Sunday night fix of sex. I did think it was interesting about why she went into the field she did. In my high school I remember the health department coming and showing STD slides and making some tawdry jokes while doing so. Our teacher also did the condom demonstration, while stressing her view that while she couldn't control what we would do she stressed abstinence.

[Effie]

Wait a minute! Bria is doing what?

She volunteers at. Sav-a-life. :-/ I'm trying to figure out what that ministry is about (I started a thread).

[PennySycamore]

I just loved to watch Talk Sex with Sue Johansen. She just rocks!!

[ceg045]

I just loved to watch Talk Sex with Sue Johansen. She just rocks!!

Sue! And then Bliss on afterwards. Being in Catholic school, that was about as close as I got to sex education.

[kb2]

We had Sue Johannsen come to our school every year and talk to us about masturbating, safe anal sex, and the best sex toys to use.

That is the most amazing sex-ed speaker ever. Why could I have not gone to your high school? (I had pretty decent comprehensive sex ed, but not Dr. Sue!)

[infooverload]

Does anyone know is Sex Talk is still on at all. I would love to see my husbands expression with her discussing anal sex or something of that nature. After all she just looks like your A-Typical grandma, but then she starts to talk about sex and you go oh my.