Cross-examination, indeed! - Ben and Audri Botkin

[Aurora]

Exactly. Talking through things is pretty much a necessity of a good relationship. I think that's where the difference is... we say "talk through things" meaning in a very deep, personal and intimate way. This kind of talking you can't do with a chaperone. You aren't going to say what you really think, really feel, what makes you tick, what you think about your family... if your 15 year old sister is sitting between you the whole time. :-P

Yes, exactly... awwwkward! :D

The list of questions are all so... impersonal. They are really just designed to make sure a prospective spouse is pushing their same agenda. :-P

yes, the answers are mostly obvious, or the "right" direction of answers - although some of them would take some deep thinking.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I had to look up besetting sin. Apparently it's a sin that most easily overwhelms us. I suppose they'd say mine is enjoying to think for myself:) But if I really studied those questions, I'm sure I could come up with the right answers too. All they aim to figure out is are your religious beliefs exactly like mine in every way. For anything else it seems like they don't care. It's like they can say, I find you annoying and you disrespect me? Oh well, at least you believed in the same messed up version of Jesus as I do. This is a recipe for some unhappy people down the line.

[Deleted12]

This joke could easily be repurposed as a Botkin courtship joke:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

[Aurora]

I had to look up besetting sin. Apparently it's a sin that most easily overwhelms us. I suppose they'd say mine is enjoying to think for myself:) But if I really studied those questions, I'm sure I could come up with the right answers too. All they aim to figure out is are your religious beliefs exactly like mine in every way. For anything else it seems like they don't care. It's like they can say, I find you annoying and you disrespect me? Oh well, at least you believed in the same messed up version of Jesus as I do. This is a recipe for some unhappy people down the line.

Mine is gluttony! :(

[antifundie]

You know, for people who claim to be Christians, they sure don't talk about Jesus that much. I mean, they mention "Christ" "God" and "Lord" but it's most often in the context of "Christ-honoring" or somesuch. What about "What does your relationship with God/Jesus/Christ mean to you?" or "What does it mean to be a Christian?" It's ALLLLLL about family dynamics and/or theology.

Also, this question made me lol:

"When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?" I mean, what? You obey WITHOUT a plumbing line?

And this:

"When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?"

I don't know, but I'd think it was pretty prideful is somebody started by saying, "Yeah, I started showing self-control when I was a kid and didn't steal cookies" or "I had patience when..."--I don't think that the "Fruits of the Spirit" are things you should be listing about yourself, nor do you really need to point them out. They (ideally) should just be there. Also the following verse in the bible doesn't really say that those "fruits" just show up once and stick around--to me, it's more like, "Here's a list of Good Stuff the Spirit can give you! Yay."

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Honestly, I don't see much of any of those things in fundies.

ETA: We should start a thread where we answer all these questions, like a survey! Although would make my fingers hurt.

[Aurora]

Isn't the "your disciples" thing kind of prideful - by saying they have disciples aren't they comparing themselves to Jesus or other religious leaders?

[emeraldskull]

We should start a thread where we answer all these questions, like a survey! Although would make my fingers hurt.

In another thread discussing how asinine the Botkins "courtship questions" are, antifundie suggested we answer them ourselves. So... here is the thread to "answer hard things"

/takemindoutofgutternow

Original questions here: westernconservatory.com/article/2011/08/ask-hard-things

Questions:

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?

What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?

Who are your disciples?

Who are your closest friends?

When did you really start to seek the Lord?

When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?

What do you believe about Salvation?

When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?

What is a besetting sin? What are yours?

What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?

What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines?

How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?

What are your main messages?

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your wife, and your family?

What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage?

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?

What are things you see as God's blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?

What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?

Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult--whenever.

Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?

You are the result of the influence of which people?

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?

Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?

What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential?

What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family?

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?

Do you want children?

Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or may not give?

How do you discipline children?

What are the duties of children?

What standard of excellence are they held to?

Where would we set expectations for them?

What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts)

How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family?

When does corporal discipline begin?

How do you begin to train infants?

What does play look like for children? Free time?

What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits?

What words or phrases are off-limits?

What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you?

What would you do differently from your parents?

Who do you want your children to grow up to be?

How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at (or don’t laugh at), what we approve of, etc.

What is your vision for the Church?

What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?

What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured?

What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism?

What is the role of music in worship and the Church?

[emeraldskull]

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?

As a Christian, yes, I would. However, "dying daily" has nothing to do with that fact, and is found nowhere in the Bible. :-P

What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?

Breaks: Seeing people (especially children) mistreated. Deligts: sharing life with people and God.

Who are your disciples?

Um.....?

Who are your closest friends?

My sister and BF.

When did you really start to seek the Lord?

Around 12.

When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?

What, you mean I don't need to be forced to obey with plumbing line?

What do you believe about Salvation?

It comes through Jesus

When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?

Is this really something I can personally answer? I might THINK I have humility and self-control and kindness... but wouldn't saying "Oh, yes, I am a very self-controlled person" kind of nullify it?

What is a besetting sin? What are yours?

Facebook. :D

What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?

General Christian view for the most part.

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?

I think my family is sarcastic and loving. Which sibling? I have like 11... :-D

What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines?

I... suppose? :-P

How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?

The Bible and the Bible, I would personally say.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

What? Which ones? Like the ones that said black people were designed to be slaves and that women were property?

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?

I don't intend to make disciples of my own. Where is THAT in the Bible? :-P

What are your main messages?

Love others.

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?

The patriarchal kingdom or God's kingdom? And yes. See above question.

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your husband, and your family?

Yes. However, I can only really spiritually grow MYSELF, nobody else. Those are their decisions to make.

What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?

THE lost soul? which one? :-P

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage?

That the husband and wife should be equal in all ways, equally loving and equally serving each other.

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?

Unconditional love.

What are things you see as God's blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?

Life, my family, my friends. Of course I cherish them. :-D

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?

Teaching myself to read at 4... I don't really know. My life has been pretty boring...

What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?

Not really much of anything. Probably figuring out whether or not I really liked my BF enough to be "leading him on"...

Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult--whenever.

My family has definitely colored my life, but I don't have any "disciplers".

Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?

Almost all book characters... and usually because book characters are awesome. :-D

You are the result of the influence of which people?

My parents, my sister, some friends.

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?

The leaders of the women's suffrage movement, Mary Slessor

Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?

Good listener skills

What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?

See above. Also, patience and kindness.

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential?

Books that have had the greatest impact on defining me/my life? A Little Princess and the Phantom Tollbooth.

What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family?

To teach people how to love unconditionally.

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

Very important... if you have kids!

How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?

Significant... but as a parent you are not responsible to force your children to make the "right" choices.

Do you want children?

Yes.

Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or may not give?

A blessing he may or may not give.

How do you discipline children?

I haven't had any yet, so how would I know? :P

What are the duties of children?

Run, play, have fun

What standard of excellence are they held to?

One appropriate to their age/mental and emotional ability.

Where would we set expectations for them?

I don't really understand the question...

What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts)

All of the above, and more.

How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family?

Love them.

When does corporal discipline begin?

Uh... never? :-P

How do you begin to train infants?

Who "trains" infants? They are helpless and innocent!

What does play look like for children? Free time?

Whatever tickles each child's fancy.

What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits?

Temper tantrums

What words or phrases are off-limits?

Should I really say them aloud if they are off-limits?

What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you?

They always loved us, and still do, no matter what.

What would you do differently from your parents?

Nothing, actually...

Who do you want your children to grow up to be?

Themselves?

How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at (or don’t laugh at), what we approve of, etc.

Be ourselves.

What is your vision for the Church?

I don't have one.

What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?

It depends on the church, and does it really matter anyhow?

What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured?

People getting together and sharing struggles, insights and love with each other.

What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism?

Baptism can be done by 'The church', but isn't necessary to be. The others... no opinion.

What is the role of music in worship and the Church?

Let it be good? :-D

[Prek teach]

I just don't get question one. Christ died for mankind, that was his sacrifice. Are we supposed to die for him? How does one die daily anyway? By giving up their free will/critical thinking skills and denying what was given to them as they submit to their patriarchial headship? Maybe?

The guardianship of souls thing...since I believe in free will, I suppose my children grow they will have to learn lessons for themselves, and make their own decisions. I laid the foundation, they have to build the house. When my once fundie Catholic friend got married i remember their wedding ceremony and the priest saying "It is the wife's job to be sure that her husband's soul enters heaven." Now as a Catholic this was the very first time I heard his during a wedding ceremony. I couldn't help but think "She's going to have a hard enough time getting her soul out of purgatory and now she has to worry about his?"

[Olive Plant]

Yay! I was lurking around here yesterday after I noticed this posted on Western Conservatory to see if you all had snarked on this yet, so glad to see you don't disappoint. What is hilarious is that they actually seem to think these are hard questions. Uh, what's hard about reciting the party line you've been rehearsing all your life?

Interesting sidenote: I think the latest post (about sociopaths and courtship) from Ben's cousin (one of the ones we talked about on the yuku forum) might be in response to this. The timing seems suspicious. Quote: "There are times, however, when the “courtship†model, and hierarchy in general, actually contribute to the thing it’s trying to prevent — becoming entangled with unfit life partners. Sociopathic and certain other aberrant behavior is relatively easy to mask in such situations, and in structured environments where there is an obviously-expected answer, it’s harder to spot a phony."

Here's the link to cut and paste: missthewind.blogspot.com/2011/08/sociopaths-and-authoritarian-lifestyles.html

[Olive Plant]

oops, I tried to break the link but it didn't work. Not sure how to fix it.

Edit: oh, there's that helpful "edit" button.

[dawbs]

Thinking of what you folks have said about the 'right answer for every single question'...that also doesn't take into account change.

I mean, at 18, I probably could have given the 'right' answers to all of these and caught myself a very nice fundie boy. That 'snapshot' of what I believed, however, was simply that--it was a snapshot of what I believed AT THAT MOMENT--which tells you what I believed at the moment--it tells you NOTHING about who I am/was. It wouldn't have prepared the people in the relationship for what happens when people grow in change.

(My husband and I discussed all sorts of things before we were married. Both in normal 'dating' and in our premarital counseling w/ our pastor. We were in agreement on big things like money and kids and religion. The fact that we knew each-other so our relationship was more than simply matching up belief snapshots is how our marriage didnt' disintegrate when he had declarations like "I don't think I believe in a God" and "I don't know if I want kids".)

[Annette]

Um, are children a measure of God's favor? This is a question they need to ask?

If I saw this list of questions coming at me, I would turn and run the other way.

ETA: YES! I am now secretly Bill Gothard!

[keen23]

As an atheist, this will be fun-

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then? Nope, sorry

What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart? The thought of getting Alzheimer's breaks my heart. My kids delight my innermost heart

Who are your disciples? I can't currently lay claim to any

Who are your closest friends? My husband, my sister, and some girls I grew up with

When did you really start to seek the Lord? I officially stopped believing at

around age 12

When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word? Never, I always questioned

What do you believe about Salvation? I don't.

When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life? Never

What is a besetting sin? What are yours? A besetting sin is an addiction. Mine is caffeine.

What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7? Sin is an act that violates a known moral rule. I do not know Rom 6 & 7

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing? I like my family. They're just great. We are pretty good friends.

What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines? 1. The study of the nature of God and religious belief.

2. Religious beliefs and theory when systematically developed: "Christian theology"

How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine? I have a moral doctrine that I have set that is right for me.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions? Some are right, some are wrong, all can be revisited from time to time.

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence? I have no desire for disciples

What are your main messages? Play nice and don't pee in the sandbox. Mom always said "Don't play ball in the house." Love is all you need.

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom? Depends on the kingdom

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your wife, and your family? Spiritual growth is a personal matter that I leave to others to decide for themselves

What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul? It's really none of my business

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage? That I not be part of a Christ-honoring marriage

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family? That I not be part of a Christ-honoring family

What are things you see as God's blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things? God doesn't exist, therefore there are no blessings to be bestowed.

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life? College

What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done? Moved 3000 miles from my family for a better job

Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult--whenever. NA

Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons? I wanted to be Dr Who's Companion when I grew up. Dr Who was my hero, he was so cool with the time and space travel and all that. Sally Ride also.

You are the result of the influence of which people? Parents?

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways? Hilary Clinton kicks ass, though I wouldn't have gone back to my husband after he admitted to getting BJs in the Oval Office

Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself? I wish I was more crafty/artistic

What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess? A sense of humor

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential? Judy Blume rocked my world. Did you ever read Wifey?

What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family? The purpose of family is love.

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things? Kids are fun, but not the end all, be all. It's cool that I get to pass on my superior genes

How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls? NA

Do you want children? I have 3, and I won't be having any more

Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or

may not give? Nope. I view children as the result of a biological urge to pass on my genetic material. And sometimes the failure of birth control.

How do you discipline children? The punishment should fit the crime

What are the duties of children? Duties will be assigned as I see fit as the need arises

What standard of excellence are they held to? To be Excellent to One Another

Where would we set expectations for them? I expect them to gain independence and eventually become members of society, and move out of my house.

What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts) Math, Writing, Literature, Science (Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Earth Science), Art, Humanities, Social Sciences, Music, and anything else that the child shows an interest in

How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family? No different from any other child, but actually respect that child more for not falling for the whole "saved" racket.

When does corporal discipline begin? When the child throws a punch at me, I won't hold back

How do you begin to train infants? You don't

What does play look like for children? Free time? Duh.

What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits? Whiny children, snotty children

What words or phrases are off-limits? I believe strongly in freedom of speech, but hateful language is not tolerated

What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you? They raised me well, with just about every thing I could ever ask for.

What would you do differently from your parents? So far, my children have not been taken on Caribbean cruises every other year growing up, as I was. Nor do I have a summer retreat in the mountains (though my parents do take my children to their retreat during the summer).

Who do you want your children to grow up to be? Functional, responsible adults

How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at (or don’t laugh at), what we approve of, etc. In the words of Popeye "I am what I am."

What is your vision for the Church? NA

What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today? They are incredibly obnoxious and some are almost criminal

What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured? Probably nothing like what exists today

What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism? NA

What is the role of music in worship and the Church? Whatever floats the congregations communal boat

[ElphabaGalinda]

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?

No I would not. And wtf is with dying daily? I don't think that's what Jesus was going for.

What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?

It breaks my heart when people are intollerant of others, especially when they use religion as an excuse. Lots of things delight my heart including a good book, a long conversation with friends, and nice boobs. Yes, being a lesbian delights my heart.

Who are your disciples?

I don't think I have any. I don't think people are supposed to have some.

Who are your closest friends?

My closest friends are named Katie and Autumn, and they are amazing.

When did you really start to seek the Lord?

Never started, don't plan to.

When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?

Who said I obey the word?

What do you believe about Salvation?

If you do nice things and don't hurt others deliberately, if there's a heaven, you're probably good. If there's not, you're still good. So do nice things.

When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?

I think if you keep score it doesn't count.

What is a besetting sin? What are yours?

I don't know what a besetting sin is, but whatever mine is, it's awesome.

What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?

Sin is bad. Don't do it. As for what a sin is, I think it's anything that intentionally hurts another person in some way. Think of any sin and I think that applies. i have no idea what Rom 6 & 7 are, and i don't want to take the time to look it up.

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?

They're annoying most of the time and we're better when we live apart, but I still love them. My siblings are at summer camp and i assume they're fine.

What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines?

Theology means whatever people want it to mean.

How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?

I don't like doctrine that's too specific, to be honest.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

Historically held positions are bad. I'm not sure what this refers to, but they often are.

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?

I don't want to make disciples.

What are your main messages?

Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?

I try to be nice to all people.

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your wife, and your family?

In myself, yes. In others, that's none of my business, and i'd like them to make their own path.

What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?

Which one?

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage?

The two people need to respect one another as equals. And yes, I said people. I don't think it needs to be a man and woman.

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?

Love each other.

What are things you see as God's blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?

Family, friends, health. I cherish these things, and sure, I desire to have more of all three.

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?

When I realized that someday I would marry another woman. And that that was okay.

What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?

See above. Realizing that loving ladies was okay. But I got there eventually.

Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult--whenever.

What's a discipler? But my family most consistantly has influenced my life.

Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?

My mom, my best friend, and Barbara Walters. They are all amazing women that I'd like to be more like.

You are the result of the influence of which people?

My family in the early years, and now my best friends.

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?

Barbara Walters. She pioneered the field I want to get into as a strong independant woman. Also Nancy drew in the early years (1930s) That's when she was most kick ass.

Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?

Confidence, patience and understanding.

What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?

See above.

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential?

Harry Potter changed my life. So did Nancy Drew. I loved the film Legally Blonde even though it's kind of silly. I grew up watching Sailor Moon and Power Rangers, and listening to Spice Girls.

What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family?

Love, love and more love.

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

I want children some day, and I think the most important part of their upbringing will be to teach them to be exactly who they are in the best way they can possibly be. But people who do not want children don't need to, and should not, have them.

How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?

insignificant.

Do you want children?

Yes. Not until i'm 30.

Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or may not give?

No.

How do you discipline children?

Depends on what they did, but no hitting. It also depends on the child and how he/she responds.

What are the duties of children?

Have fun, learn, grow, learn age appropriate responsibilities, but no more.

What standard of excellence are they held to?

Whoever they are is excellent.

Where would we set expectations for them?

They are expected to do their best in everything and follow their passions.

What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts)

Good old public school.

How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family?

I'm not going to have a Christian family, so N/A. If a child of mine wants to become Christian when they're older, that's their choice, but I hope to raise them so they'd not become the judgemental legalistic kind.

When does corporal discipline begin?

Never.

How do you begin to train infants?

You don't.

What does play look like for children? Free time?

Free time. The only activities will be swimming so they don't drown, and anything at all they show an interest in.

What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits?

intollerance.

What words or phrases are off-limits?

I will teach them swearing is inappropriate most of the time, but not ban it completely. Anything racist or homophobic will be off limits.

What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you?

They taught me that no path in life is right or wrong as long as you're doing your best and are happy.

What would you do differently from your parents?

I would try my best to save money for my childrens' education because my parents admit they never considered it, and paying for university has been difficult for me.

Who do you want your children to grow up to be?

Someone happy. As long as they have a goal, and a plan to reach it, they're growing up just as I wanted.

How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at (or don’t laugh at), what we approve of, etc.

I would model kindness and expect my children to be kind as well. Nothing more.

What is your vision for the Church?

Don't have one.

What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?

They often go too far.

What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured?

It hasn't existed since the Bible was written, IMO.

What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism?

I don't have a view on that because i don't believe any of it.

What is the role of music in worship and the Church?

Music is fun.

[O Latin]

I didn't do the whole list since it's so long. I just picked a few. Some serious answers and some funny ones.

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?

No, I don’t think I would. I think Christ would rather I stayed alive. As for “dying daily,†what does that even mean. I guess we all get a little bit closer to dying each day.

What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?

The thought of losing any of the people that I love the most breaks my heart. Singing delights my innermost heart (although I think that’s one of the cheesiest phrases I’ve ever heard).

Who are your closest friends?

My closest friends are the people who accept and like me for who I am.

When did you really start to seek the Lord?

Why do I have to seek Him? He’s not that hard to find.

When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?

Is this a new brand of underwear, or something? I haven’t heard of it.

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?

I love my family and we’re pretty good friends. My siblings are doing fine, as far as I know.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

Well, I love history, but I’m not entirely sure what this means.

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?

Building what kingdom? Are we playing a video game or something here?

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your wife, and your family?

Well, as a straight woman I obviously don’t have a wife, and my family’s spiritual growth is really none of my business, but for myself, yes.

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?

Well, jeez, I could write a novel on this one, but taking control of my education during my junior year in high school was certainly a big one. And church choir. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

I don’t know. I think it has an effect, but it’s not the only thing that determines who someone turns out to be.

Do you want children?

I’m not sure. I think I do, someday, when I’m done having fun by myself.

What is your vision for the Church?

More music. And more choir.

What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?

That they exist (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist).

What is the role of music in worship and the Church?

The most important thing. Totally.

[Shirley MacLaine]

Would you be willing to die for Christ? No, fuck that guy.

What breaks your heart? Social injustice.

What delights your innermost heart? Kayaking.

Who are your disciples? I don't have disciples. What the fuck?

Who are your closest friends? My closest friends.

When did you really start to seek the Lord? Haven't yet.

When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word? Fuck that, seriously!

What do you believe about Salvation? That it doesn't exist.

What is a besetting sin? I don't know.

What are yours? I never sin.

What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?

The Bible is boring.

What do you think about your family?

I like my family.

Are you good friends?

Sort of. There are things about my life I'm not comfortable discussing with them.

How is sibling ____ doing?

They're both doing really well! I love the shit out of them.

What does theology mean?

The study of the nature of god/s slash religion slash systems of belief.

How do you get doctrine?

In the mail.

How do you determine right doctrine?

Magic 8-Ball.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

Which historically held positions?

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?

I don't want disciples because I'm not an asshole.

What are your main messages?

I'll admit I may have seen better days, but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salted peanut.

Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?

I'm watching The Kingdom on Netflix right now.

Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth - in yourself, your wife, and your family?

No.

What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?

No such thing as a soul.

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage?

Don't care.

What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?

Don't care.

What are things you see as God's blessings?

There is no god.

Do you desire and cherish these things?

No.

What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today--the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?

Blah blah.

What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?

None of your business.

Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult--whenever.

Stop saying disciple.

You are the result of the influence of which people?

Every person I have ever known.

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like?

bell motherfucking hooks

What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?

Coolness.

What did you grow up reading/watching?

Everything I could.

What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family?

To chill hard and prosper.

How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?

Fairly important.

How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?

Fairly significant.

Do you want children?

No.

Do you view children as a measure of God’s favor or an added blessing that He may or may not give?

No.

How do you discipline children?

Every time a child is disobedient, I throw it through a window.

What are the duties of children?

To do everything I don't feel like doing.

What standard of excellence are they held to?

I expect all my children will end up in prison and I will not settle for less!

Where would we set expectations for them?

On earth.

What would their education entail? (History, Science, Theology, Creation/Biology, Music/Arts)

Pubic school.

How do you treat an unsaved child spiritually and practically in the context of a Christian family?

Burn the witch.

When does corporal discipline begin?

When they're still in the womb.

How do you begin to train infants?

Cattle prod.

What does play look like for children? Free time?

FREE TIME!?!?!?!?!

I'm so bored now. I can't go on.

[doggie]

how would you know you were dying for Christ and not some person with delusions of godhood? unless Jesus came down on earth and asked you may just be doing it to satisfy someone else. Thats been happening throughout history.

[Austin]

I feel like there's another verse, too, but I believe the concept of "dying daily" comes partly from Luke 9:23, [where Jesus] said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

[Turtle]

When I was getting to know my now-husband, most of the big issues/belief systems/opinions came up organically. It seems that if you have natural conversations with a person you enjoy being with over a period of time, most of these things would probably come up.

Except maybe the "besetting sin" one. The boyfriend didn't need to ask to find that one out.

[Burris]

Oh, what fun!

Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you're not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?

You mean if someone told me to change my religion on pain of death, would I? It flatters me to think not, but then I don't have a knife to my throat at the moment so I can't say for sure.

And dying daily? What the fuck does that even mean? I'm serious: I encounter that phrase a lot, especially on fundie blogs, and I've yet to see any reasonable explanation for it as it is supposed to apply in modernity.

Who are your disciples?

My...disciples? Who am I to have disciples?

What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?

Erm...I have one brother, and he moved to the other side of the world - quite literally, in fact; I doubt he could have moved any further away without actually beginning ti circle back.

How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?

The same way I determine whether or not my spaghetti is cooked: I throw a noodle at the wall and see if it sticks.

What is your attitude towards historically held positions?

The Kama Sutra sounds fascinating.

How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?

Nil.

What are your main messages?

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? - Micah 6:8 (Somehow, I doubt that would be the correct answer.)

Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?

Oh, I know what the answer is supposed to be: "I know this is going to sound corny, Ben, but I've always admired your mother Victoria; first, from afar, but eventually as a close mentor and friend."

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything.

"Anything written by Rushdooney or Dabney, obviously - and I know this is going to sound corny, Ben, but your father's writing has had a tremendous impact on my life. And also, Webster's 1828 version of the English dictionary, which my parents permitted me to read for fun during my daily five minutes of free time, when I wasn't busy raising my 23 siblings."

How do you discipline children?

"With a car battery and wire."

When does corporal discipline begin?

"At conception, because children are at once blessings and evil little monsters."

What does play look like for children? Free time?

"Reading a nearly 200-year-old dictionary."

What attitudes or personality traits are held up as off-limits?

"Personality? Pfft!"

What words or phrases are off-limits?

"What, where, why, when, and how - and also no and 'I think.'"

Who do you want your children to grow up to be?

"For the boys, nothing short of the Prime Minister's office. For the girls, brood-mares of spinsters."

[Buzzard]

This joke could easily be repurposed as a Botkin courtship joke:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

:character-beavisbutthead:

[Aurora]

Oh, what fun!

It's sad that they think "how is ___ doing" is actually a hard test. Only in QF-land. I suppose "Who's ___?!??" is a wrong answer??

What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are--children's books, fiction, history, theology, anything.

[Shirley MacLaine]

It's sad that they think "how is ___ doing" is actually a hard test. Only in QF-land. I suppose "Who's ___?!??" is a wrong answer??

Worldly people hate their siblings and never keep in touch!

[Aurora]

Worldly people hate their siblings and never keep in touch!

That's right, I forgot... there is no love, compassion or family feeling in "the world" .

Of course, it is harder to keep in touch growing up when you and your siblings actually have separate rooms!