10 Bible Contradictions That Aren't

[Ellimenopy]

Job. Job was what did it for me. God ruins a man's life, kills dozens of people...for a stupid bet?!? And then smacks him for complaining about it. What. The. Fuck.

Who does that to someone they love? That they claim to be proud of? Who thinks having lots of children later in life makes up for all the children you lost for something frivolous? God is an absolute dick to Job. There is NOTHING that makes that story make any moral sense.

[Buzzard]

:D But why not just tell the girls that the world wasn't ending? It seems like such a simple solution for an all powerful god who could see into the future.

The biggest contradiction for Christianity is the idea that god is all anything. An all knowing god who sees into the future, is all loving, is all powerful, is all every single positive attribute known to human, should not make mistakes and should be held to higher standard than we humans.

For example, if god is all loving, why did he set human kind up to fail? He put two humans in a garden. These individuals were like little kids without knowledge of right and wrong. He set up a trap for them in the guise of a tree and let a malicious being wander the garden to tempt the two to do wrong. What loving parent would do that? When the two fail-of course they would- god doesn't just punish them but future humanity, the earth and the animals. Even the poor snakes, who didn't volunteer to let their form be used were punished. And why wasn't Eve surprised by a talking snake? Was she used to talking animals? Was she that childlike?

I don't understand how religious people can see the bible as literal and still view their god as kind or loving.

Stop. Rewind. You lose me in Genesis. If God is all knowing, omnipotent, omniscient, enter various other synonyms... then how da fuq did he miss the fact that Adam would be lonely without his helpmeet? Why not just create two right off the bat if he, in his infinite wisdom, wanted man and woman to be "joined at the flesh" blah blah blah... :geek: Oh right, because then its not a good story. Dude fucked up right there in the creation, doesnt bode well for the grand plan for humanity.

[Buzzard]

Job. Job was what did it for me. God ruins a man's life, kills dozens of people...for a stupid bet?!? And then smacks him for complaining about it. What. The. Fuck.

Who does that to someone they love? That they claim to be proud of? Who thinks having lots of children later in life makes up for all the children you lost for something frivolous? God is an absolute dick to Job. There is NOTHING that makes that story make any moral sense.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,

2Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?

3Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.

4Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.

5Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?

6Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;

7When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

8Or who shut up the sea with doors, when it brake forth, as if it had issued out of the womb?

9When I made the cloud the garment thereof, and thick darkness a swaddlingband for it,

10And brake up for it my decreed place, and set bars and doors,

11And said, Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further: and here shall thy proud waves be stayed?

12Hast thou commanded the morning since thy days; and caused the dayspring to know his place;

13That it might take hold of the ends of the earth, that the wicked might be shaken out of it?

14It is turned as clay to the seal; and they stand as a garment.

15And from the wicked their light is withholden, and the high arm shall be broken.

16Hast thou entered into the springs of the sea? or hast thou walked in the search of the depth?

17Have the gates of death been opened unto thee? or hast thou seen the doors of the shadow of death?

18Hast thou perceived the breadth of the earth? declare if thou knowest it all.

19Where is the way where light dwelleth? and as for darkness, where is the place thereof,

20That thou shouldest take it to the bound thereof, and that thou shouldest know the paths to the house thereof?

21Knowest thou it, because thou wast then born? or because the number of thy days is great?

22Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail,

23Which I have reserved against the time of trouble, against the day of battle and war?

24By what way is the light parted, which scattereth the east wind upon the earth?

25Who hath divided a watercourse for the overflowing of waters, or a way for the lightning of thunder;

26To cause it to rain on the earth, where no man is; on the wilderness, wherein there is no man;

27To satisfy the desolate and waste ground; and to cause the bud of the tender herb to spring forth?

28Hath the rain a father? or who hath begotten the drops of dew?

29Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?

30The waters are hid as with a stone, and the face of the deep is frozen.

31Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?

32Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst thou guide Arcturus with his sons?

33Knowest thou the ordinances of heaven? canst thou set the dominion thereof in the earth?

34Canst thou lift up thy voice to the clouds, that abundance of waters may cover thee?

35Canst thou send lightnings, that they may go, and say unto thee, Here we are?

36Who hath put wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart?

37Who can number the clouds in wisdom? or who can stay the bottles of heaven,

38When the dust groweth into hardness, and the clods cleave fast together?

39Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion? or fill the appetite of the young lions,

40When they couch in their dens, and abide in the covert to lie in wait?

41Who provideth for the raven his food? when his young ones cry unto God, they wander for lack of meat.

In other words, sit the fuck down and shut up. This passage reminds me of the Pearls and they're beat the will out of their kids bullshit. Thats what our all knowing and loving GOD was doing here. Sit down, stupid piddly human. Stop whining, you mean nothing. I'm GOD and I haz ALL TEH POWERZ!

[Mellanya]

It begins even before creation. So God is all knowing and stuff, right, so even before he made earth and animals and people, he knew how it would work out in the end. He KNEW Adam and Eve would fuck up, and he KNEW that he would kill several thousand people himself and send billions and billions into hell to suffer eternal pain. He knew that before he even whipped out the legos! And he made them anyway! And why? Because he didn't want to be alone or something?

If I was in that position, I'd say fuck that, I'm getting another coffee and I'll just make one of them. A real hot Adam (or Eve) and just have fun with that one! After all, I'm omnipotent, shouldn't be a problem to make myself a girl/boyfriend.

[Buzzard]

It begins even before creation. So God is all knowing and stuff, right, so even before he made earth and animals and people, he knew how it would work out in the end. He KNEW Adam and Eve would fuck up, and he KNEW that he would kill several thousand people himself and send billions and billions into hell to suffer eternal pain. He knew that before he even whipped out the legos! And he made them anyway! And why? Because he didn't want to be alone or something?

If I was in that position, I'd say fuck that, I'm getting another coffee and I'll just make one of them. A real hot Adam (or Eve) and just have fun with that one! After all, I'm omnipotent, shouldn't be a problem to make myself a girl/boyfriend.

We must have been fun to play with for a few thousand years, but now we are as neglected as a child's water table in the winter. I wonder if he started a new game on another world...

[yewchapel]

In my Queer Theologies class, I was taught that Sodom's sin was inhospitality (a major taboo still in the Middle East) and Ezekiel 16:49 seems to bear this out - no mention of homosexuality at all.

However, the Bible pretty obviously contains a whole load of contradictions - I mean, Isaiah has at least 3 different authors and there are two different contradicting creation stories! I am a Christian and I am OK with acknowledging the contradictions within the Bible - it helps that my own denomination is not 'sola scriptura' and does not use the Bible alone but also tradition and reason. When Christians say that the Bible does not contradict itself they are not being honest with themselves, let alone non-Christians.

[yewchapel]

It begins even before creation. So God is all knowing and stuff, right, so even before he made earth and animals and people, he knew how it would work out in the end. He KNEW Adam and Eve would fuck up, and he KNEW that he would kill several thousand people himself and send billions and billions into hell to suffer eternal pain. He knew that before he even whipped out the legos! And he made them anyway! And why? Because he didn't want to be alone or something?

If I was in that position, I'd say fuck that, I'm getting another coffee and I'll just make one of them. A real hot Adam (or Eve) and just have fun with that one! After all, I'm omnipotent, shouldn't be a problem to make myself a girl/boyfriend.

The concept of an eternal, painful Hell is a Medieval invention - much like the common perception of Satan having cloven hooves and looking like a satyr. In the Old Testament, everyone goes to Sheol or 'the abode of the dead' when they die. No Heaven or Hell or any other kind of separation between righteous and unrighteous. The New Testament certainly alludes to some kind of punishment and judgement for those who have ill-treated others but what Hell actually consists of is unclear. It's certainly not defined as permanent. The doctrine of limited atonement (ie that God creates people who will never be saved) is certainly messed up, but it's far from a universal Christian doctrine and is only one interpretation of the Bible - and in my opinion, not actually correct. Christian doctrines that do not feature Hell at all, whether due to Annihilationism or Universalism, are not particularly uncommon. I myself believe in a Purgatory-like purification but not Hell, I believe in universal salvation.

[PokaDot]

We must have been fun to play with for a few thousand years, but now we are as neglected as a child's water table in the winter. I wonder if he started a new game on another world...

Personally, I'm hoping he decided to make some Klingons.

[rward]

:D But why not just tell the girls that the world wasn't ending? It seems like such a simple solution for an all powerful god who could see into the future.

The biggest contradiction for Christianity is the idea that god is all anything. An all knowing god who sees into the future, is all loving, is all powerful, is all every single positive attribute known to human, should not make mistakes and should be held to higher standard than we humans.

For example, if god is all loving, why did he set human kind up to fail? He put two humans in a garden. These individuals were like little kids without knowledge of right and wrong. He set up a trap for them in the guise of a tree and let a malicious being wander the garden to tempt the two to do wrong. What loving parent would do that? When the two fail-of course they would- god doesn't just punish them but future humanity, the earth and the animals. Even the poor snakes, who didn't volunteer to let their form be used were punished. And why wasn't Eve surprised by a talking snake? Was she used to talking animals? Was she that childlike?

I don't understand how religious people can see the bible as literal and still view their god as kind or loving.

It gets better than that, debrand. In the original Hebrew texts, there were TWO trees, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life. Adam and Eve eat of the Tree of Knowledge, and God freaks out, saying, andiquote "What if they eat of the Tree of Life and become as one of US?"

Puts a whole 'nother flavor on the whole tale.

[PokaDot]

It gets better than that, debrand. In the original Hebrew texts, there were TWO trees, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life. Adam and Eve eat of the Tree of Knowledge, and God freaks out, saying, andiquote "What if they eat of the Tree of Life and become as one of US?"

Puts a whole 'nother flavor on the whole tale.

But isn't the point of heaven to live forever with Jesus? Isn't that immortality (which eating from the Tree of Life would have done-at least for the soul)?

[yewchapel]

The two trees are actually in the English translations as two separate trees, but people confuse them - I guess like Mary Magdalene being associated with prostitutes because she has been incorrectly identified with the adulterous woman at the well (who is not actually a prostitute either!). The verse is Genesis 3:22 and in my NRSV translation reads as follows:

'Then the LORD God said, 'See, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever.'

Now I was always taught that if mankind had not sinned then they would have been able to eat from the tree of life and live forever, and that's what Jesus' sacrifice rectified. I need to do more theological research on it however.

[debrand]

The concept of an eternal, painful Hell is a Medieval invention - much like the common perception of Satan having cloven hooves and looking like a satyr. In the Old Testament, everyone goes to Sheol or 'the abode of the dead' when they die. No Heaven or Hell or any other kind of separation between righteous and unrighteous. The New Testament certainly alludes to some kind of punishment and judgement for those who have ill-treated others but what Hell actually consists of is unclear. It's certainly not defined as permanent. The doctrine of limited atonement (ie that God creates people who will never be saved) is certainly messed up, but it's far from a universal Christian doctrine and is only one interpretation of the Bible - and in my opinion, not actually correct. Christian doctrines that do not feature Hell at all, whether due to Annihilationism or Universalism, are not particularly uncommon. I myself believe in a Purgatory-like purification but not Hell, I believe in universal salvation.

From what I understand, Jewish people don't have the same concept of hell that many modern day Christians do.

[yewchapel]

From what I understand, Jewish people don't have the same concept of hell that many modern day Christians do.

That's correct, Hell doesn't feature in Jewish theology as far as I understand it. Sheol as a kind of eternal sleep is the traditional view of the Jewish afterlife and applies to the righteous and unrighteous alike iirc.