The "Mentor":Homemaking Is A Lost Art

[lilwriter85]

Lori's posting from today.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/03/teach-your-daughters-to-be-homemakers.html

Mothers, the greatest gift you can give your future son-in-laws is to teach your daughters how to be a good wife and homemaker from the time they are young. Model to them what a submissive wife looks like by serving and pleasing your husband.

When you are cleaning, have your daughters cleaning by your side and sing a tune while you do it. When you are cooking, have them cooking with you. While you are cooking and cleaning tell them how thankful and blessed you are by having all this good food and a nice home to clean.

Let them grow up with thankful and happy hearts. Their husbands will love being married to them! Homemaking is a lost art today but we, as Christian women, need to bring it back for it is a very important job. Our society has suffered greatly for it so let's make sure our children don't suffer.

[GeoBQn]

I'm getting creeped out by the pictures she's posting of young women with their husbands and/or children in many posts. Most of the time, they are not the women the article is about. Does she know these women personally? Are they leghumpers sending photos to a woman they don't know personally?

[Hane]

Oh, please.

There will always be women--and men--who are into full-on "homemaking": decorating, cooking/baking from scratch, entertaining. And there will always be people who do just fine doing the bare minimum to get by.

I'm one of those women who loves cooking, baking, and sewing, but I know damn well that, in the 21st century, those are "nice-to-know" skills, not "need-to-know" ones. People like Lori aim to trap young women at home by presenting the wife-and-mother role as far more complicated than need be, a morass of make-work projects that keeps a woman from looking beyond her back door.

[yewchapel]

Has Lori never visited Pinterest? There are many women interested in homemaking. However, the great thing about today is that homemaking can be a fun hobby rather than a necessity. Forcing women to be homemakers (and depriving domestically-inclined men of that hobby) makes it no fun for anyone.

[lilwriter85]

I'm getting creeped out by the pictures she's posting of young women with their husbands and/or children in many posts. Most of the time, they are not the women the article is about. Does she know these women personally? Are they leghumpers sending photos to a woman they don't know personally?

A week or two ago, she posted a picture of a woman from Wisconsin and her kids. That woman had a blog that was linked on Lori's. I think the recent pics of women and their kids are of Lori's fangirls that she has met online. I also find it a bit creepy when Lori uses pictures of her daughter-in-law in postings about other women.

[Marian the Librarian]

Golly gee! I (and millions of others just like me) manage to practice the "lost art" of homemaking and still hold down a 40-hour per week job!! Imagine!!!111!!!

[sarahbrownie]

I have a "mentor." Her name is Martha and she's a kick-ass entrepreneur that can probably out housekeep all of these fundies. I bet you some of them all adore Martha and completely turn a blind eye about how much of a great business woman she is.

[samurai_sarah]

I absolutely agree with her. Yesterday, after finishing my work, the first thing I thought was "gee, I wish, I knew how to make a home", which I pondered while cleaning the bathroom. I was almost in tears, when I told my SO how terrible I felt about not knowing anything about homemaking. It was so bad, he had to switch off the vaccum cleaner, and abandon cleaning the living room, to comfort me. Sufficiently restored, after repose against a manly breast, I then made supper and wished someone had taught me how to do things properly. This I told my SO, who had to interrupt doing the dishes to comfort me again, reminding me that I had a postgrad degree. In my despair, I cried out that that was worthless education since it wasn't a PhD in homemaking, and sulked while making lunch for today. Then I sewed on a button, which my dad taught me to do, because horror of horrors, my mum never did.

My wicked parents, who never practised submission and never sang with me, while they taught me to cheerfully clean the house, left me with a clean place, two meals cooked from scratch and a sewed-on button. IS THAT ALL??? Did they really think this was all my future husband deserves? Why didn't they teach me better? Mothers, don't do this to your daughters and future sons-in-law! Teach them the lost art of homemaking so they don't wind up like me! Let mine be a cautionary tale to all of you!!!!11!!

[ThatSnark]

My mother deliberately glossed over the finer points of the "lost art" to make absolutely certain I had the time and focus to excel in K-12, college, and graduate school, because that is what was expected of me. I clearly remember her telling me that I could pay someone to do my housework but that I could never pay someone to support me and my family, nor could I outsource a good educational foundation. I left home for college at 17 knowing vaguely how to manage house affairs, but quite clear on how to function in school.

Guess what? I'm good at life inside AND outside the house. Take that, you narrow-minded bonsai woman.

[ILoveJellybeans]

You dont need to train a kid to be a homemaker from being young, its not really that much to learn.

Sure, these things are important, and any kid of mine (whether theyre a boy or a girl) will leave the house knowing how to cook and clean, but do you really need to spend your kid's childhood teaching them? Other things are important too, like education and fun.

Yes, parents should be good role models, and seeing their parents together is the best way for a child to learn how to treat their future partners....but submission isnt a good thing, it can lead to abuse. Why would any parent want to set their child up for being abused and controlled. I wouldnt want that to happen to any of my future kids, in fact, I will teach them the opposite-how to spot when someones being too controlling, their rights to their own body (and other peoples rights to their own bodies), and how to stand up for themselves and talk things through like adults.

Its not like feminists dont teach their daughters how to take care of a house-we do, but we teach our sons as well, as cooking and cleaning arent womens work, theyre basic life skills-everyone needs to eat and everyone needs to live in a clean environment.

[rward]

Does anyone else find it creepy that she's more concerned about sons-in-law she's never met than the happiness of her own daughters?

[lilah]

My mento is a fantastic woman named Linda. She is an incredible cook and baker, a fantastic hostess and generally a really gracious and generous soul. She also gardens, keeps a beautiful home that is a converted barn, is very active in her comunity and church. She is also an actress who specalizes in one woman shows about famous icons like Julia Child, Elenaor Roosevelt and Babe Dedrikson.

My mom is also a great homemaker (or as she put it, domestic goddess). She worked to put my dad through medical school and then stopped working when she had my sister and me. She has worked part time jobs here and there because the work interested her, she was incredibly lucky to have a lifestyle that didn't require her to work. I think that there are time when she'd like to have had more of a career as she has a lot of intelligence and talents but unfortately it's hard for her to find a realy good part time job with her erratic career history. She spends a lot of time volunteering and participating in different groups.

[browngrl]

Samurai_sarah, thank you for giving us your testimony! Your cautionary tale has opened my heart to learning the gentle arts of homemaking.

Let us all join hands and start a Hive Homemaking Hub - where all of us lost and bewildered souls can learn the real way to wash a dish or how to make proper food like TTC or how to pouf up our hair for our headship's pleasure etc. To start off here is my handy "printable" on how to wash a dish:

1. put dishes in the dishwasher (CAUTION: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A DISHWASHER - DO NOT PUT DISHES IN THE CUPBOARD - CUPBOARDS DO NOT CLEAN WELL AT ALL)

2. add soap into the soap dispenser (CAUTION: USE DISHWASHER SOAP - DO NOT USE LAUNDRY DETERGENT - IF YOU CAN'T TELL WHICH SOAP IS WHICH ASK LORI)-

3. press the "on button"(CAUTION: DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON WITH YOUR FOOT/ELBOW OR KNEE - USE YOUR INDEX FINGER - BUT IS OPTIONAL TO USE THE RIGHT OR LEFT INDEX FINGER)

Voila! Soon your dishes will be clean and no longer will you have to eat from the feminist trough. Good luck girls! :)

edited because all this thinking has made my little wittle brain seize up

[GeoBQn]

Has Lori never visited Pinterest? There are many women interested in homemaking. However, the great thing about today is that homemaking can be a fun hobby rather than a necessity. Forcing women to be homemakers (and depriving domestically-inclined men of that hobby) makes it no fun for anyone.

Good point about how Lori's POV shuts out men who might enjoy these hobbies. One of my male grad school colleagues loves quilting, but often when he shops for supplies he is given the cold shoulder by female customers and employees who act like he has no business being there. Because apparently penises make it physically impossible to sew or do crafty things. What would Lori say about two of my great-grandfathers who worked as sewers in clothing factories? One of them died of a heart attack at his machine. Of course, Lori would probably discount these men because my colleague was one of teh ebil gayz and my great-grandfathers were filthy Jewish immigrants, which are hardly the sort of "manly men" that women should submit to.

[samurai_sarah]

Samurai_sarah, thank you for giving us your testimony! Your cautionary tale has opened my heart to learning the gentle arts of homemaking.

Let us all join hands and start a Hive Homemaking Hub - where all of us lost and bewildered souls can learn the real way to wash a dish or how to make proper food like TTC or how to pouf up our hair for our headship's pleasure etc. To start off here is my handy "printable" on how to wash a dish:

1. put dishes in the dishwasher (CAUTION: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A DISHWASHER - DO NOT PUT DISHES IN THE CUPBOARD - CUPBOARDS DO NOT CLEAN WELL AT ALL)

2. add soap into the soap dispenser (CAUTION: USE DISHWASHER SOAP - DO NOT USE LAUNDRY DETERGENT - IF YOU CAN'T TELL WHICH SOAP IS WHICH ASK LORI)-

3. press the "on button"(CAUTION: DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON WITH YOUR FOOT/ELBOW OR KNEE - USE YOUR INDEX FINGER - BUT IS OPTIONAL TO USE THE RIGHT OR LEFT INDEX FINGER)

Voila! Soon your dishes will be clean and no longer will you have to eat from the feminist trough. Good luck girls! :)

edited because all this thinking has made my little wittle brain seize up

But my dishwasher has a dial, instead of a button! What do I do now? Aaaaargh! See, this is what happens if you don't teach your daughters lost arts! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED, MUM? This is what your son-in-law has to live with!!!111! I'm going to write a heartfelt letter to Lori about the issue, and maybe she can tell me what to do about the dial. I am sooo frustrated right now.

[docmom]

Everything you say so elocuently it's very true now days! Women in the USA or first world countries are very demanding on their husbands, even if they work too, (not much around here). My parents never fought about what to do at home in the USA... it seems he and she just knew what they're chores were. On saturdays they both cleaned the house and that was it, my mom cooked dinner and dad washed and cleaned the kitchen, my brother and me had our chores as well, but everything was done in harmony and mother made a point in teaching me to be a good wife, mother and homemaker, I've done the same with my daughters. I think you're right, one reason for divorse is exactly what you pointed out..mothers don't teach their daughters to be and love homeking, all it entitles. Loved your post. Thank you for sharing.

It appears that one of her fans could have used a little more instruction in grammar and spelling and maybe a little less joyful homemaking. Please tell me she isn't homeschooling her children!

[ThatSnark]

It appears that one of her fans could have used a little more instruction in grammar and spelling and maybe a little less joyful homemaking. Please tell me she isn't homeschooling her children!

Elocuently!

Homeking!

:lol:

[lilwriter85]

Does anyone else find it creepy that she's more concerned about sons-in-law she's never met than the happiness of her own daughters?

I also find it creepy. Another thing that I recently thought was creepy was when Lori proudly talked about how her married daughter Alyssa got rid of clothes that her husband Jon didn't like. I'm sure that some people do get annoyed with some of the clothing their spouse wears, but forcing someone to get rid of clothes gives off a super-controlling attitude. Sadly, Lori really doesn't give a shit about her daughters' happiness. She praised Alyssa's mother-in-law for being a servant and she said the same thing about her daughter-in-law's mother. Lori probably only cares about the happiness of her husbands, sons, and son-in-law. I've said this before, but I wouldn't be surprised if one of the Lori's daughters or daughter-in-laws ends being up a victim of spousal abuse. But it could already be happening. Lori bragged about her son Ryan force feeding his child and if Ryan is abusive with his child, I wouldn't put past him to abuse his wife in some way. Lori's descriptions of Alyssa's husband often describe him as a nice guy, but the clothes thing raises a major red flag.

[kb2]

When I was a kid I wanted to be a housekeeper when I grew up. I thought it would be awesome to go house to house and dust. And be allowed to use the vacuum. Never occurred to me that if I liked cleaning I should grow up to clean only one house, and for free! Lori acts like all she has to do is instill a love for housework in her girls, but she also has to discourage any ambition they might have, and that's sad.

[Effie]

Sometimes Lori comes across as a clone of Kelly Crawford. (It probably takes some godly homemaking skills to make food for 12 people out of 2 chicken breasts... I'm such a poor home-maker cause I can't even feed 4 people on 2 chicken breasts.:() These women really know the lost art of home-making!

[Sobeknofret]

If homemaking is a lost art, then wtf have I been doing for the last six years!? I sure as fuck thought I was doing it!

[snarktastic]

Several generations of mothers have neglected to teach their daughters the joy of homemaking. Therefore, the fulfillment one can recieve from creating a pleasant home is virtually unknown to most modern young women.

Dear Lori, if you walk into any newsagent or supermarket in my town and go over to the womens' magazine aisle, you will find it stuffed with mags on how to make your home look pretty, cookery mags, sewing mags, knitting mags etc etc etc. These are not aimed at a fundamentalist Christian audience because this is the UK and we don't really do the fundy Xtian thing over here. Most of us are totally into making our homes just as nice as we can - once our actual day's work is finished. You know, work? The thing that means you can afford to have a home in the first place?

[Nothing2CHere]

A lot of the little "homemaking" tips and tricks that I use to this day - how I thread a needle, how I clean the kitchen sink, how I measure out flour or shortening - were not taught to me by my mother but *gasp* a HOME EC TEACHER in my EBIL PUBLIC SCHOOL! Where there were also BOYS in the same class as me, learning the same stuff! Because at my school, it was required that everyone regardless of gender take a home economics class. Oh, please pass the smelling salts!

[Arete]

Woe to me, sisters! I was raised by a man, so I have no sweet memories of cleaning the home in gratitude side by side with my mother. The Lord did not see fit to make it so. We had to clean side by side with our father. The only encouragement we got was my Dad frying eggs in his apron on Saturday morning bellowing "None of us is leaving this house today until we actually make it start looking like one!"

With those beginnings, how is a woman to grow up and NOT follow the ways of Satan? Needless to say, to this day I'm much better at cooking than cleaning. If only I had studied a toilet brush more and science less.

[Bellatrix]

American English, you confuse me so much sometimes.

Over here, we call a homemaker a BUILDER. So proud to see such enthusiasm on the other side of the pond for women embracing architecture and expert bricklaying. Yay!