Proof The Pearls Don't Love Children

[debrand]

The Pearls have reposted a article that I'm certain we've discussed on the old forum. Reposting it must mean that they still agree with its contents.

It starts with one of the Pearls' watching a group of children playing. The four year old is too small to keep up and falls down. The manner in which the observer describes the child and the mother's reaction expresses contempt for kids.

The four-year-old psychologist was well aware that, with others looking on, the mother’s reputation was at stake.

Though it was not outwardly visible, I knew that the mother was irritated at her child. She didn’t really feel sympathetic. She was probably thinking something like this: “What’s wrong with the little brat now? She’s such a crybaby. I know she is not really hurt. Why does she pretend to be?

I'm not certain how the observer can guess what either the mother or child is feeling.

The mother intuitively knows that what she is hearing is not a cry of pain, but of protest. She can’t sort out all these feelings and facts, so she pretends to be concerned. The mother’s pretense and buried feelings are putting steam in the boiler that will later, in private, boil over into anger and irritability toward her child. The mother, in this situation, actually doesn’t like her child.

What? My kids-like all kids-had moments when they cried but weren't hurt. I gave them a hug, brushed them off and sent them back to play. They didn't grow up to be emotional manipulators.

When the child begins to scream her defiance or hurt, the mother should just ignore her. Don’t be moved by it. Don’t pick her up. Tell her that there is no reason to cry, so go away and play. If she demands treatment, ask her if it hurts. If she says yes, then reach in your purse, pull out a terrible tasting herbal potion and give her a spoon full. After she gets through gagging on her vitamin and mineral supplement, tell her that she is now completely healed and invite her to come back for another dose if she again gets hurt. If you don’t have an herbal remedy, use something that is very unpleasant, yet good for the child — like apple cidar vinegar with garlic.

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/emotional-manipulators/

[Letgo]

When the child begins to scream her defiance or hurt, the mother should just ignore her. Don’t be moved by it. Don’t pick her up. Tell her that there is no reason to cry, so go away and play. If she demands treatment, ask her if it hurts. If she says yes, then reach in your purse, pull out a terrible tasting herbal potion and give her a spoon full. After she gets through gagging on her vitamin and mineral supplement, tell her that she is now completely healed and invite her to come back for another dose if she again gets hurt. If you don’t have an herbal remedy, use something that is very unpleasant, yet good for the child — like apple cidar vinegar with garlic.

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/emotional-manipulators/

Don't you just love the irony of the name of their website and how they encourage such nasty treatment of an injured child? And isn't administering an unpleasant tasting medicine and saying it has healed the child a LIE? Pretty sure that is a sin according to the 10 Commandments.

[merrily]

The article gives itself away. Who the loving hell titles an article on raising children emotional manipulators?

[Hane]

Oh, come on, Pearls. The vast majority of mothers learn the difference between "I'm genuinely hurt" and "I'm in an off mood and want attention" pretty darn early. It starts when a toddler takes a tumble and, instead of crying immediately, looks around to see whether Mom noticed. It only takes a split second to determine the difference between hurt and not-hurt. Like practically every mother in the world, I did just fine with "Aw, buck up, honey--you're OK; run along now" and never had to resort to dosing my kid with a "terrible tasting herbal potion."

[SpicyCat]

ask her if it hurts. If she says yes, then reach in your purse, pull out a terrible tasting herbal potion and give her a spoon full. After she gets through gagging on her vitamin and mineral supplement, tell her that she is now completely healed and invite her to come back for another dose if she again gets hurt.

WTF??? So you need to teach a child that being HURT is something that is punished? So what, they never come to you when they've hurt themselves and need help??? I just can't even FATHOM how works in their minds.

[salex]

These people should pray to die before getting to an age that their children can return the favor to their disabled parents- with luck their old age will include quite a few gag making spoonfuls, sitting in their own shit filled diapers every day, and weekly feedings. After all, if a 4 year old should be abandoned for wanting attention, an 84 year old should be even that much more.

Perhaps a water pistol filled with ammonia to shoot in their face if they need/want attention will shut them up.

What horrible people, and the fact their books sell and that others admire them makes me sad...

And they think they can escape the hell they believe in?

[merrily]

It should be titled: how to train up a sociopath (tried and tested)

[August]

I wish I were an aged care worker. I would move my whole life to be their carer.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I think their book is enough proof that the Pearls dont love children.

They really really hate kids, this is awful.

Why do these kind of people teach their followers to have large families, but also teach them that children are evil. If kids were evil, wouldnt you want as little of them as possible?

[Mela99]

WTF??? So you need to teach a child that being HURT is something that is punished? So what, they never come to you when they've hurt themselves and need help??? I just can't even FATHOM how works in their minds.

I have this awful vision of a child bleeding till they pass out, or walking around on a broken limb....

[skrmom]

The Pearls adhere to the belief "children should be seen and not heard (and seen as little as possible)

A child should never ask for anything-not even food if hungry

Never complain of pain or illness

Do chores as asked-starting as young as two or three

Babies should never cry(ignore them if they do-you know how manipulating a four week old is.

[LostSamurai]

Why are these fuckers still around and not in jail?

They clearly advocate child abuse. I'm not a mother myself, but I"m pretty sure most parents realize when something is wrong with their child and when their child is just in a bad mood and just wants affection.

[johara86]

It is sad and unbelievable that people buy into certain ideologies from individuals who believe in using extreme measures to raise a family.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

So Mom can tell that baby isn't really hurt, baby really wants some attention from Mom. Okay.

Why is that so terrible? Why can't Mom realize this, and then HUG baby as she says "it's okay, you're not really hurt, but I see you want some reassurance, it's okay, Mom is here and looking out for you" with a smile????

Perhaps that way TOO the kid will learn not to feign injury or play up injury for sympathy, because the kid will not NEED to, the kid can be honest about just needing Mom for emotional reasons and THAT IS OKAY as it's own thing?

[Buzzard]

These people are so fucked up that I actually thought "atleast they dont advocate beating the child for lying about being hurt." The fact that there is even a scale of fucked up for them is shocking.

[August]

The Pearls adhere to the belief "children should be seen and not heard (and seen as little as possible)

A child should never ask for anything-not even food if hungry

Never complain of pain or illness

Do chores as asked-starting as young as two or three

Babies should never cry(ignore them if they do-you know how manipulating a four week old is.

As if they advocate ignoring crying. More likely you'd be toldto hit the four week old until they stop crying.

[NoneandDoneinCali]

Um. I'm going to take a quick looksee at Wikipedia ... oh, there it is! Attachment Theory! A widely-recognized predictor of future childhood pathology!

Disorganized Attachment:

(Child's Response) - Stereotyped behavior on return (to caregiver) such as freezing or rocking. Lack of coherent attachment strategy shown by contradictory, disoriented behaviours such as approaching but with the back turned.

(Caregiver's Behavior) - Frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, affective communication errors and maltreatment. Very often associated with many forms of abuse towards the child.

So. When the parent gives contradictory messages (i.e. Let me take care of you, with derision and foul-tasting liquids! Then I'll tell you I love you and send you on your way!), the child, confused, does not form a secure attachment. In fact, they may end up with a bizarre reaction to their parent. Kinda like Stockholm Syndrome.

Way to go, Pearls. Why is it that here in California, you get the cops called for spanking your child at the park (I'm not a fan of spanking, but seriously), yet wherever the Pearls are, you can publish a book on how to permanently damage your children?

[salex]

Suddenly I was reminded of this verse from Alices' adventures in Wonderland, where the mother has made sure there is pepper in the air to cause sneezing.

Speak roughly to your little boy

and beat him when he sneezes

he only does it to annoy

because he knows it teases.

I speak severely to my boy

I beat him when he sneezes

for he can thoroughly enjoy

the pepper when he pleases

[RachelB]

I think all their books should be titled "How to Scare the Crap Out of Your Kids so You Don't Actually Have to Parent Them, They'll Just be Cowering Quietly in the Corner."

What vile people.

[JMarie]

The article gives itself away. Who the loving hell titles an article on raising children emotional manipulators?

And who wants to carry a bottle of apple cider vinegar with garlic in their purse? Could you imagine if the bottle broke while you were out in public?

[AnywhereButHere]

And who wants to carry a bottle of apple cider vinegar with garlic in their purse? Could you imagine if the bottle broke while you were out in public?

Maybe you're supposed to keep it in a spray bottle and when they misbehave (a/k/a get hurt or need love), squirt your kids like recalcitrant cats. Since the Pearls are all about training and all and seem to rank children on par with animals.

[DistantStar]

I wonder if Michael does the same things to Debi if she just wants a bit of attention (why from him I will never know, but that's another subject) or affection. Because if a small child can't, a grown woman sure as hell can't, right?

One of the funnier videos I've ever seen was of a little kid who figured out the "cry for attention" thing. You could hear what sounded like crying from another room, and then it stopped, and a toddler wandered into view. As soon as he saw the camera, on the floor he went and out came the crying again. Nice try, kid! I bet that didn't last long, as the parents had obviously figured it out.

The Pearls hate children. I think they hate everybody, actually, but the younger, the more the hatred.

[theusualsuspect]

Nothing upsets me more than a helpless, trusting child, unarmed yet with the ability to reason, operating from a purely emotional level, get labeled as maniupulative and treated so cruelly. There's a special place in hell for people who do that!

[Full enough quiver]

I think that's it exactly. They hate everyone, but children are easy targets. They're smaller than you are, dependent on you, and if they tell anyone, you can just blame their "manipulative nature" or some such crap. I hope the pearls end up in the worst nursing home their kids can find. Karma is a bitch, and I can't wait for it to bite the Pearls on the ass.

[jenny_islander]

So Mom can tell that baby isn't really hurt, baby really wants some attention from Mom. Okay.

Why is that so terrible? Why can't Mom realize this, and then HUG baby as she says "it's okay, you're not really hurt, but I see you want some reassurance, it's okay, Mom is here and looking out for you" with a smile????

Perhaps that way TOO the kid will learn not to feign injury or play up injury for sympathy, because the kid will not NEED to, the kid can be honest about just needing Mom for emotional reasons and THAT IS OKAY as it's own thing?

THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!

What in the name of love is so horrible about a child feeling upset because he fell down, running crying to Mom for some reassurance, and getting a hug? I clearly remember my tippy little toddler girl, having fallen on her knees or nose something like 7 times in half an hour, flopping down crying in a sort of "Phooey on everything anyway" tone of voice. I picked her up and she stuck to me like a barnacle. No, she wasn't hurt. But her afternoon sucked and she needed somebody to lean on.

The Pearls hate children. They hate children. They love hurting small helpless creatures and they hate children. They think children's anguish is a fitting tribute to their power. They hate children!

You know how I got a thrift store worker to rip a copy of To Train Up a Child in half right in front of me and throw it in the trash? I opened it to that bit about Debi Pearl hurting a little boy she was looking after until he played exactly what she wanted and exactly how she wanted. The Pearls' own words damned the book.