Lori Alexander On Preschool

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/03/benefits-of-preschool.html

Many young children are put into preschool for part of a day or all day long. Several of my children went to preschool two to three days a week for half a day. They enjoyed it but I am wondering in hindsight if it was a good thing to do.

Children don't get the training and discipline they need when they are away from home. They are being influenced by their peers which usually are not raised the way you are raising your children. They will be exposed to language and stories you may not want them to hear at such a young age.

They certainly don't get the love they get from mom and dad. The day care workers have many children to look after. There is no way they can love all the children with the same love as mom and dad. The teachers spend their time trying to keep the children entertained and under control.

They are exposed to a lot more illnesses and viruses at preschool. I remember my children being sick many times on Tuesdays after being in the nursery at Church. It did get to be very frustrating. If I were to do it over again, I am not sure I would have put them in nursery because it wasn't worth them being sick so often. Ryan and Erin have us babysit Emma when they go to church or they listen to church streamlined on their computer at home.

God commands parents to train their children throughout the day. If they are away from the home for long periods of time, it is difficult to be watching over them and training them. I can't find anywhere in Scripture that we are to be leaving our children off with others for long periods of time.

Children need continual training and guidance, especially when they are very young. This idea that the government is now going to pay for childcare is ridiculous. Why are they going to do that? So the government can raise our babies instead of us? So mothers can leave their homes and work for money to buy stuff? It makes no sense to me.

Children need their mothers. They need a secure home environment. They need to be protected from the evils in society. If society is going one way, your best option is to flee in the opposite direction because God's ways are always best.

Again Lori has to bring up "training". From a medical standpoint, I have heard that many doctors have pointed out exposure to illnesses in preschools, but they also have pointed out that children can build immunites to certain things quicker by going to preschools or playgroups. I also get the feeling that Lori has an anti-church nursery vibe. I also can't stand Lori's claim that all working women work just to buy stuff.

[infooverload]

So at what point are Christian children allowed not to be with mommy 24 hrs a day? Also her kids survived, so shut the hell up already is what I want to say. I'm sorry but really I do not want to raise or "train" my child to be in a bubble. Plus can I just say I hate the word train when referring to children, you train a dog not a child.

[kpmom]

You know, as soon as I read the title to this thread, I knew exactly what Lori's views on preschool would be. I could have ghost written it for her. Get an original thought, please.

Also, aren't her kids fully grown? She's really second guessing whether preschool a couple of days a week did them harm at this late date? Or does she just want to berate mothers of young children who are considering a few days of preschool?

[AllisonWndrland]

Lori has been on an offensive, ignorant roll lately. She's so smug, so self-assured that she's right that it just grates on the nerves. There's no fixing that kind of stupid, period. She would never admit that she's wrong, even if confronted by countless examples to the contrary of what she writes. I work to provide opportunity for my daughters and my family. They will know their worth and it sure as hell won't be based on their ability to procreate, or cook a meal, or clean the fucking house. Lori would call me ungodly, but do I care? No. I can rest easy knowing that I am raising strong, independent women and contributing good to the world through my work.

Lori is a sad shell of a person. She's almost worse than Zsu when it comes to hate. I can almost feel sorry for her (and for Zsu, for that matter), until I remember what she has done to countless women and children through her posts.

[constantgardener]

This attitude drives me nuts. Once again, it's the back and white, one size fits all approach. Not all children thrive at preschool but many love it and get lots out of it. My eldest son was so 'busy' and in need of constant stimulation that I was practically begging my local preschool to take him early, even though I was not working at the time. He went several mornings a week from 2 1/2 years old and both he and I greatly benefitted. He got something new to do each day, social contact which he loved, and I got time to spend with his baby brother and get caught up around the house (leaving me more free time to spend with him when came home). My younger son was much more of a mummy's boy, but even he attended pre-school a couple of sessions a week to get him ready for 'big school'.

[Jana814]

So at what point are Christian children allowed not to be with mommy 24 hrs a day? Also her kids survived, so shut the hell up already is what I want to say. I'm sorry but really I do not want to raise or "train" my child to be in a bubble. Plus can I just say I hate the word train when referring to children, you train a dog not a child.

I hate the word train when it comes to kids as well!

[EmiGirl]

Lori is a sad shell of a person. She's almost worse than Zsu when it comes to hate. I can almost feel sorry for her (and for Zsu, for that matter), until I remember what she has done to countless women and children through her posts.

I think I prefer Zsu because at least when Zsu says something bitchy she does it in a bitchy way and doesn't try to mask said bitchiness to look like something sweet and genuine like Lori.

[lilwriter85]

Lori has been on an offensive, ignorant roll lately. She's so smug, so self-assured that she's right that it just grates on the nerves. There's no fixing that kind of stupid, period. She would never admit that she's wrong, even if confronted by countless examples to the contrary of what she writes. I work to provide opportunity for my daughters and my family. They will know their worth and it sure as hell won't be based on their ability to procreate, or cook a meal, or clean the fucking house. Lori would call me ungodly, but do I care? No. I can rest easy knowing that I am raising strong, independent women and contributing good to the world through my work.

Lori is a sad shell of a person. She's almost worse than Zsu when it comes to hate. I can almost feel sorry for her (and for Zsu, for that matter), until I remember what she has done to countless women and children through her posts.

I think she is worse than Zsu in some ways. Zsu doesn't frequently blog on certain subjects like spanking or sex related topics like Lori does. Yes, Zsu admits to spanking her kids, but Lori seems to take things up more notches. Lori and Ken do dislike the government, but they don't have the extreme hate like PP and Zsu have. PP and Zsu are likely on the radar of federal agencies and I do fear them doing something bad one day. With Lori and Ken, I fear that a tragedy will be linked back to their disturbing advice. I wouldn't be surprised if one of their daughters ended up being an abused wife. There is a red flag up already with Lori's daughter and son-in-law. I think out of all the fundie couples discussed here, Lori/Ken, PP/Zsu, Kendull/Daniel are the worst ones. This might sound crazy on my part, but I think Lori and Ken are worse than the Maxwell couple.

[lilwriter85]

I think I prefer Zsu because at least when Zsu says something bitchy she does it in a bitchy way and doesn't try to mask said bitchiness to look like something sweet and genuine like Lori.

I agree with this too.

[salex]

Lori has been on an offensive, ignorant roll lately. She's so smug, so self-assured that she's right that it just grates on the nerves. There's no fixing that kind of stupid, period. She would never admit that she's wrong, even if confronted by countless examples to the contrary of what she writes. I work to provide opportunity for my daughters and my family. They will know their worth and it sure as hell won't be based on their ability to procreate, or cook a meal, or clean the fucking house. Lori would call me ungodly, but do I care? No. I can rest easy knowing that I am raising strong, independent women and contributing good to the world through my work.

Lori is a sad shell of a person. She's almost worse than Zsu when it comes to hate. I can almost feel sorry for her (and for Zsu, for that matter), until I remember what she has done to countless women and children through her posts.

My thought is that anyone who reads her knows ahead of time what she is going to write. She is like "Dr." Laura-- after a couple of episodes, anyone with half a brain knows what her response will be on any subject, so anyone who called her knew what the response would be, and anyone who listened to her (or reads this Lori woman) is doing it to reinforce their own beliefs/choices. I don't even go to her blog, as any comments I could/would make would never make it past moderation and why give this evil, deranged woman more hits on her blog.

[EmiGirl]

I think Lori may be the most dangerous fundy because she appears to be more mainstream than the rest on the outside. I have to wonder how many of these couples they have mentored were normal everyday Christians and then got pulled into fundyland by Lori and Ken.

[GeoBQn]

You know, as soon as I read the title to this thread, I knew exactly what Lori's views on preschool would be. I could have ghost written it for her. Get an original thought, please.

I know. I can just imagine coming to the forum to find a thread titled "Lori on Puppies," and opening it to find out that Lori thinks children should get all of their unconditional love from Jesus instead of an animal.

[lilwriter85]

I think Lori may be the most dangerous fundy because she appears to be more mainstream than the rest on the outside. I have to wonder how many of these couples they have mentored were normal everyday Christians and then got pulled into fundyland by Lori and Ken.

Lori and Ken attend a megachurch that seems a bit a mainstream. But their church also promotes Mark Driscoll crap. My guess is that Ken and Lori belong to a more conservative faction in the church. Couples have rejected them in the mentoring program. I think some of the couples they mentor already had a fundie type traits before meeting with L&K. If they have managed to pulled everyday mainstream Christians into a fundieland that is scary. I hope any couple from Lori's church who might be seeking a mentor finds out about Lori's blog. But people from the church might already know about it. I also wouldn't be surprised if K&L are disliked by some at their church.

[latraviata]

I hate the word train when it comes to kids as well!

Several years ago, we (child therapists) sometimes applied a so called 'dressage model' in very extreme cases when everything else had failed, but only as a last possibility, this method reminds me of 'training a child', without the spanking of course.

Was it succesful? Questionable.

[docmom]

The day care workers have many children to look after. There is no way they can love all the children with the same love as mom and dad. The teachers spend their time trying to keep the children entertained and under control.

This argument could be made against having a large family, too. At least in daycare there's always more than one teacher in the room.

Also, genuine question as I don't know, where in the bible does it say that children must be at home 24 hours a day?

[Burris]

Children don't get the training and discipline they need when they are away from home. They are being influenced by their peers which usually are not raised the way you are raising your children. They will be exposed to language and stories you may not want them to hear at such a young age.

Oh no! Anything but that! Different backgrounds and ideas? Best to keep your kids at home, then, so they learn absolutely nothing about the world around them until you've hammered them so full of bullshit they're fucked for life.

You're such a miser, Lori. Seriously. Except instead of withholding money, you're ungenerous with knowledge.

[lilwriter85]

This argument could be made against having a large family, too. At least in daycare there's always more than one teacher in the room.

Also, genuine question as I don't know, where in the bible does it say that children must be at home 24 hours a day?

Lori:1:3

[ILoveJellybeans]

Many young children are put into preschool for part of a day or all day long. Several of my children went to preschool two to three days a week for half a day. They enjoyed it but I am wondering in hindsight if it was a good thing to do.

They enjoyed it, and arent damaged from it now, so yes, it was.

Children don't get the training and discipline they need when they are away from home. They are being influenced by their peers which usually are not raised the way you are raising your children. They will be exposed to language and stories you may not want them to hear at such a young age.

Good. If someone "trained" my child in preschool the way you train yours, they would get arrested. For good reasons. Also its great for a child to meet people different to them. Sure, the kid might overhear another kid say something bad, or complain "But Joe's mommy lets him eat pizza every day, why cant I?", but its easy to explain to the children why their family doesnt allow it.

They certainly don't get the love they get from mom and dad. The day care workers have many children to look after. There is no way they can love all the children with the same love as mom and dad. The teachers spend their time trying to keep the children entertained and under control.

I knew the kids in the daycare I worked at for a year way better than Michelle Duggar knows her kids, those kids were awesome, sure I would probably love a kid more if I had adopted or gave birth to them, but I was around them enough to get to know them. Also the child:adult ratio is less than in a large Quiverfull family, and you wouldnt have a problem with a mom and dad looking after their 15 kids. Also all staff have qualifications, unlike teenage fundie SAHD's

They are exposed to a lot more illnesses and viruses at preschool. I remember my children being sick many times on Tuesdays after being in the nursery at Church. It did get to be very frustrating. If I were to do it over again, I am not sure I would have put them in nursery because it wasn't worth them being sick so often. Ryan and Erin have us babysit Emma when they go to church or they listen to church streamlined on their computer at home.

It happens. Kids are good disease spreaders. They will get used to it eventually and not get sick as often. I hope these kids are vaccinated, or they will catch way worse than a cold.

God commands parents to train their children throughout the day. If they are away from the home for long periods of time, it is difficult to be watching over them and training them. I can't find anywhere in Scripture that we are to be leaving our children off with others for long periods of time.

What do you think daycare staff do? They supervise the kids and also discipline them. Just cause they cant spank, doesnt mean theyre letting the kids run wild. Its not as if theyre spending all of their time in preschool/daycare, they spend the majority of time with their parents. The Bible doesnt mention the internet either, or cars, or TV, or even school...are you saying that we shouldnt do those either.

Children need continual training and guidance, especially when they are very young. This idea that the government is now going to pay for childcare is ridiculous. Why are they going to do that? So the government can raise our babies instead of us? So mothers can leave their homes and work for money to buy stuff? It makes no sense to me.

Children are getting guidance from anyone who cares for them. Its not like the kids run wild at daycare or the teachers tell them that God doesnt exist and to worship Satan instead. The government paying for childcare is a great idea. Not everyone can afford to stay at home and look after their kids (and not everyone wants to), and for the moms who have no option other than to work, daycare costs a lot of their money that they could be spending on feeding their kids.

Children need their mothers. Yeah, but they can cope with a few hours apart They need a secure home environment. Id rather put my kids in daycare than have you babysit, at least they wont be beaten They need to be protected from the evils in society. If society is going one way, your best option is to flee in the opposite direction because God's ways are always best.

[AllisonWndrland]

My thought is that anyone who reads her knows ahead of time what she is going to write. She is like "Dr." Laura-- after a couple of episodes, anyone with half a brain knows what her response will be on any subject, so anyone who called her knew what the response would be, and anyone who listened to her (or reads this Lori woman) is doing it to reinforce their own beliefs/choices. I don't even go to her blog, as any comments I could/would make would never make it past moderation and why give this evil, deranged woman more hits on her blog.

It's most likely true that her readers understand what they're getting when they read her and want reinforcement. However, the mere fact that her blog posts are predictable doesn't mean she should be ignored. If FJ members reading and discussing her here leads even one person to FJ through a Google search or similar, then I'm ok with going there to read it. I found FJ when doing a search on Crystal Paine after a conversation with a coworker who had formerly worked in the same office as Crystal's husband, Jesse. Ending up here was definitely a fortunate accident.

[AllisonWndrland]

I think she is worse than Zsu in some ways. Zsu doesn't frequently blog on certain subjects like spanking or sex related topics like Lori does. Yes, Zsu admits to spanking her kids, but Lori seems to take things up more notches. Lori and Ken do dislike the government, but they don't have the extreme hate like PP and Zsu have. PP and Zsu are likely on the radar of federal agencies and I do fear them doing something bad one day. With Lori and Ken, I fear that a tragedy will be linked back to their disturbing advice. I wouldn't be surprised if one of their daughters ended up being an abused wife. There is a red flag up already with Lori's daughter and son-in-law. I think out of all the fundie couples discussed here, Lori/Ken, PP/Zsu, Kendull/Daniel are the worst ones. This might sound crazy on my part, but I think Lori and Ken are worse than the Maxwell couple.

Yes. That's why she is worse than Zsu. She tries to hide the hate by using that flowery veneer of sweetness and gentility. I also agree that Ken and Lori are going to be linked something horrible. I guess they may already be linked to something crappy, as when I just tried to go to Lori's page, I got a malware warning from Chrome.

[Jinger Jar]

I think Lori may be the most dangerous fundy because she appears to be more mainstream than the rest on the outside. I have to wonder how many of these couples they have mentored were normal everyday Christians and then got pulled into fundyland by Lori and Ken.

It's also likely lots of couples have back away in horror after a face-to-face mentoring session with these two. We'll never hear about that on her blog though. ;)

[August]

There may not be any specific rules in the bible about how many hours of care is OK, but Leviticus 37 through 40 explicitly prohibit play dough, glitter, water tables, easels, and playmobil.

[2xx1xy1JD]

If anything, my kids got MORE out of being at preschool.

There is a limit to what one parent like me can do with a preschooler, esp. when there is a baby at home as well. I suck at arts & crafts, for example, and a don't have as much energy as a class full of kids.

Preschool and home are different. At preschool, the kids had friends, learned to follow routines (and were probably getting more "training" than I would have provided), learned songs, had a chance to play outdoors and get plenty of exercise, did early learning, worked on both fine and gross motor skills, etc. Home was different - that was their place to cuddle and unwind. In some ways, I could be the cuddly, laid-back parent because I didn't have to be fully responsible for teaching all of the other skills, routines, socialization, etc.

I'm laughing a bit at the "language and stories you don't want them to hear" line. Well, it depends on which preschool you use, doesn't it? We used one that had strict policy of being anti-sexist, non-authoritarian, anti-racist and gay positive, and the language and stories reflected that. We also used some religious preschools, and parents' only concern was that it may be TOO religious. Horror of horrors, the kids would come home singing songs about giving charity. [i had cultural whiplash, but my daughter just went with the flow.]

[lilwriter85]

It's also likely lots of couples have back away in horror after a face-to-face mentoring session with these two. We'll never hear about that on her blog though. ;)

She did admit once on the blog that a couple backed away from them. I suspect other couples have ditched them, but Lori will never admit the real number.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/09/brutish-behavior.html

We have mentored a couple who decided they didn't want to meet with us after the first time. I have met with women who have decided the same thing. They don't like being corrected or told they are doing anything wrong. I seriously doubt they will ever have a great marriage.

[Jinger Jar]

She did admit once on the blog that a couple backed away from them. I suspect other couples have ditched them, but Lori will never admit the real number.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/09/brutish-behavior.html

But it's nothing she did. Others backed out of a relationship with her because there was something wrong with them. :roll: