Generation Kelly 2 chicken breast Homemaker

[OkToBeTakei]

raisinghomemakers.com/2013/dying-to-be-a-homemaker/

I never dreamed that being a homemaker was much more about “making people†than “making homeâ€.

But that’s the culture we live in. One that shifted our focus and changed our definition of “homeâ€. If we could be coaxed to see home as merely a place to keep clean and maintain, as only a physical structure in need of maintenance, then anyone could do that and “homemakers†could be freed up to do something “meaningfulâ€.

But when I left my career to come home, I had no idea the depth of my job, as God would show me. Yes, home was a lot more about nurturing people–my children, my husband, and those around me He would finally give me eyes to see and time to help.

But the biggest surprise?

Becoming a homemaker would become the miraculous catalyst in my life that God would use to change ME.

The other day a lady at the grocery store, commenting on only four of my nine children said something like, “You must be a superwoman with the patience of Job.â€

Those are the hardest comments for me. Because I don’t have time to explain to them or to tell them the truth:

“Wanna know something funny? I am an extreme introvert. Do you know what that means? It means I get my energy from quiet, alone time. Lots of it. It means after being around noise and people for a few hours, I feel like I’m going to completely have a melt down. And then God called me home and gave me nine children (with another on the way). Isn’t that funny? Do you think I was “cut out†for this? Patient? Ha! No, but to keep from losing it all together, I have to die daily. I have to crucify my flesh every day. It’s painful. But it’s what we’re called to do. It’s just that most of us would rather run away from the means by which He wants to use in our lives for that daily dying.â€

That’s what I want to say. And on those really hard days that I feel defeated, I get in my quiet place. And I allow myself to remember the purpose of my life…â€to glorify Him and become more like Himâ€. And then I thank Him for the hard days (which pale in comparison to many hardships of other Christians). I remember that it is not a “super woman†He wants, but just a willing one, flesh and all, to be molded and carved into His image, painful as it is, so the world can see His grace and His strength in our weakness.

I pray my daughters see, as I limp through this life, not a defeated woman, and not a super woman, but a surrendered woman, thankful for the many opportunities to have my “self†die a little more each day. He must increase, I must decrease. Home is a really great place for this lesson He wants so much to teach us.

Yup, this is what I have always wished for my daughter. To be a shining example of 'Surrender' and half dead. Feck sake!

[Helena]

I grew up fundie. I tried very hard to do everything correctly and be a good wife to a bad man. I have four children and I am an extreme introvert.

Of course she's dragging. It's not healthy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have chosen a much different life.

I'm no longer fundie and have been cauterized. I can deal with my children one on one, but not all at the same time. Thankfully, I have a good man now who helps me out in ways I never thought possible. And he doesn't judge me for being who I am. He accepts me, which is something I never got from the cult.

Fundies do not accept that one size does NOT fit all in their diminished view. Introvert? Suck up god's grace and ACT completely UNNATURAL. In other words, live a lie, harm yourself and others around you and call it a sacrifice.

[OkToBeTakei]

I grew up fundie. I tried very hard to do everything correctly and be a good wife to a bad man. I have four children and I am an extreme introvert.

Of course she's dragging. It's not healthy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have chosen a much different life.

I'm no longer fundie and have been cauterized. I can deal with my children one on one, but not all at the same time. Thankfully, I have a good man now who helps me out in ways I never thought possible. And he doesn't judge me for being who I am. He accepts me, which is something I never got from the cult.

Fundies do not accept that one size does NOT fit all in their diminished view. Introvert? Suck up god's grace and ACT completely UNNATURAL. In other words, live a lie, harm yourself and others around you and call it a sacrifice.

Glad you are in a better place now Helena.

[Helena]

Glad you are in a better place now Helena.

Thank you!

[formergothardite]

I hope her kids see their mom limping through life being miserable and barely feeding her children and decide that they don't want that.

[slickcat79]

“Wanna know something funny? I am an extreme introvert. Do you know what that means? It means I get my energy from quiet, alone time. Lots of it. It means after being around noise and people for a few hours, I feel like I’m going to completely have a melt down. And then God called me home and gave me nine children (with another on the way). Isn’t that funny? Do you think I was “cut out†for this? Patient? Ha! No, but to keep from losing it all together, I have to die daily. I have to crucify my flesh every day. It’s painful. But it’s what we’re called to do. It’s just that most of us would rather run away from the means by which He wants to use in our lives for that daily dying.â€

That’s what I want to say. And on those really hard days that I feel defeated, I get in my quiet place. And I allow myself to remember the purpose of my life…â€to glorify Him and become more like Himâ€. And then I thank Him for the hard days (which pale in comparison to many hardships of other Christians). I remember that it is not a “super woman†He wants, but just a willing one, flesh and all, to be molded and carved into His image, painful as it is, so the world can see His grace and His strength in our weakness.

Really? REALLY? Where did god say all that? Why would god say all that? Why would some omnipotent being create you with a certain personality, then "call" you to do something that's completely counter to the nature he gave you? I can think of SO MANY ways in which you can glorify god that don't involve living your life in a way that makes you feel like dying every day.

I really don't get where they find they idea that god wants all women to be homemakers. Even the proverbs 31 woman, whom fundies love to idolize, didn't sit around the house "dying to self" every day. This is what leads fundie wives to be so horrible and abusive to their families. They can't control any damn thing about their own lives, so they take it out on their children with "sit time", plumbing line, and frightening food control. They will even admit that their lives are terrible and yet they still hold them up as something to strive for. It's baffling.

[SpeakNow]

She sounds extremely miserable. It wouldn't surprise me if she's suffering from depression.

[Almost]

She sounds extremely miserable. It wouldn't surprise me if she's suffering from not trusting God enough.

fixed it for you! No such thing as mental illness, only not having enough faith.

seriously though, it's ridiculous. Sacrifice? Of course having kids is sacrifice. Those fuckers are hard work. But of yourself? Of everything you really are and just slap on a happy face because we can't have people thinking you can be sad while being a believer? Yeah no. I did it for years too. Eventually you self implode. I hope she finds an outlet before that happens.