Fundies on STFU, Parents!

[RachelB]

There aren't really any good nicknames for Sebastian, maybe Ian or he could go by Allen. Not that Sebastian is an awful name or anything, it's just kind of a mouthful. As for Zephaniah Elisha- I'm pretty sure that's a boy's name. I don't know what you could change it to- maybe Zephan=Stephen? Poor Sing Praises. Maybe she could be Cindy?

Sebastian = Baz

Zephaniah = Zep

Maybe? (I knew a llama named Sebastian, and he went by Sebastian. But he was never going to have to say the whole thing himself in front of a roomful of his fellow kindergarteners.)

[Guest Anonymous]

'Seb' is a fairly straightforward nickname. What about 'Bastian'?

[ShadowyOne]

'Seb' is a fairly straightforward nickname. What about 'Bastian'?

If it's good enough for the kid in The Neverending Story, I think it's good enough. :)

[whirlygirly]

OK, I guess there are more than I thought. :) I do like Baz, actually.

Zep makes me think of Zeppo Marx. Zeph could be a possibility, too.

[tankgirl]

Rejoice and Sing!? Those are fucking horrible (along with most of the others).

If I ever have children (not gonna happen) maybe I'll name them Despair Nevermore and Yodel Scorn. Still better than Rejoice and Sing.

Too late a friend recently showed me on a parenting board a kid named Nevermore, first name, the middle was equally out there, poor kid.

Can I add Susanna lucked out big time, as her parents were slideing into horrible names, she got a little ray of sunshine there. Dollie, is hard cause it's mostly a dogs name these days, but not a bad old name, poor Victory got a patriotic stripper name or maybe the name of some one's boat, poor kid.

[jaynie]

The only nickname I can conceive of for poor Sing is Sisi (as in see-see), but even then it lends itself to sissy too easily. Mind you, if she ever escapes (because I'm just gonna go ahead and assume this is the sort of family one escapes from), she could pretend it has some kind of unspecified Asian connection if anyone asked. I mean, I googled and it doesn't, but most people wouldn't know and if you said it was your mum's life long best friend's name most people wouldn't mock, at least.

Sebastian, Tiffany, and Susanna must be very grateful, though! (Not gonna lie, I actually love Sebastian. I think it's becoming quite popular though.)

[Buzzard]

Poor Glory Alleluia is going to have a lifetime of people humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" at her.

Its so wrong... but Glory Alleluia would be an awesome stripper name...

[divadivine]

In countries like Iceland the government must approve a child's name. This keeps people from naming their offspring Bat Shit Crazy names. However, in America you can name your offspring "Glory Alleluia" or "Sing Praises" or something equally as horrible and it's ok? People need a license to drive a car, hunt, fish, and even work as a hairdresser. However, you don't need anything but egg and sperm and some sweet fellowship to make a baby and name the poor thing something f-ing stupid. The poor kids have every right to sue them when they grow up or at least write a tell-all book.

Oh, and by the way, a girl who went to my school was named Pepsi Sue.... honest to Jesus. In fact, her name was Pepsi Sue Hooker... at least that is what was on her school record. However, the parents may have been running from the law and made up the name. Her name was legendary... the kids in the class after me remember Pepsi Sue Hooker. She wasn't a made up person. She was real. This was back in the late 80's before schools were all crazy about having everything but pictures of the placenta prints to prove the child was your own.

[divadivine]

Maybe they can name the next blessing "Amazing Grace" if it's a girl? Or "There's a Wideness in God's Mercy" if it's a boy... except it would have to really be "There's a Wideness in Momma's Clown Car Vajayjay" or perhaps "Were you There" if the child was born near Easter.

[Mary C Doates]

googled the names and found

facebook.com/pages/The-Blake-Family/116843228366513

Baptists...

Family

Members

Gerald & Lisa Blake

Children:

Sebastian Allen

Tiffany Mariah

Malachi Elijah

Zephaniah Elisha

Dollie Grace

Susanna Faith

Jaresiah Christian

Victory Dawn

Glory Alleluia

Colt Micaiah

Rejoice Evermore

Sing Praises

Strikes me that the names keep getting crazier and crazier.....

They were at the Wahoo Baptist Church Youth Ministry. This is a YAH-some name for a church. I would so check it out, except for being a godless heathen.

The family apparently have a music ministry, which (partially) explains some of those names.

Love STFU Parents.

[NerdyHil]

The only nickname I can conceive of for poor Sing is Sisi (as in see-see), but even then it lends itself to sissy too easily. Mind you, if she ever escapes (because I'm just gonna go ahead and assume this is the sort of family one escapes from), she could pretend it has some kind of unspecified Asian connection if anyone asked. I mean, I googled and it doesn't, but most people wouldn't know and if you said it was your mum's life long best friend's name most people wouldn't mock, at least.

Sebastian, Tiffany, and Susanna must be very grateful, though! (Not gonna lie, I actually love Sebastian. I think it's becoming quite popular though.)

There were two professors at the university I attended who had a son named Sebastian. They called him Sebby. Which is better than the son of the chair of the Anthropology department, he was named Beowulf Alexander.

[Seven Severn]

There was a child on the Mayflower named Wrestling. S/he had a sibling named Love. Love & Wrestling. Sounds like a bad movie starring Meg Ryan.

[Conuly]

There was a child on the Mayflower named Wrestling. S/he had a sibling named Love. Love & Wrestling. Sounds like a bad movie starring Meg Ryan.

Wasn't there another child in the family named Fear? And then there was the baby Ocean, because he was born on the ship....

Of course, for crazy Puritan names, nothing much beats Preserved Fish, although Nicholas Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebon comes close. Real close.

[KO84]

I love Puritan names. Wrestling. Hopestill. Truelove. Those sorts. Rejoice Evermore is awesome. I'd call her Joice.

[ThisOlGirl]

Victory Dawn and Glory Alleluia should form an old timey burlesque act and try to do some USO shows. When they're adults, of course

[ems]

There aren't really any good nicknames for Sebastian, maybe Ian or he could go by Allen. Not that Sebastian is an awful name or anything, it's just kind of a mouthful. As for Zephaniah Elisha- I'm pretty sure that's a boy's name. I don't know what you could change it to- maybe Zephan=Stephen? Poor Sing Praises. Maybe she could be Cindy?

Zeph/Zeff for Zephaniah. OT, but my best friend in high school had a huge crush on our school's soccer coach/gym substitute, whose name was Zeff.

But poor Sing Praises is out of luck.

[ems]

The only nickname I can conceive of for poor Sing is Sisi (as in see-see), but even then it lends itself to sissy too easily. Mind you, if she ever escapes (because I'm just gonna go ahead and assume this is the sort of family one escapes from), she could pretend it has some kind of unspecified Asian connection if anyone asked. I mean, I googled and it doesn't, but most people wouldn't know and if you said it was your mum's life long best friend's name most people wouldn't mock, at least.

Sebastian, Tiffany, and Susanna must be very grateful, though! (Not gonna lie, I actually love Sebastian. I think it's becoming quite popular though.)

I've known a few Indian men who go by Singh (just googled and it appears to be more of a surname), but that wouldn't work so well for a girl..

I like the name Sebastian, although it always makes me think of the Little Mermaid. A (fundie-lite-ish) Catholic woman I know from high school gave her son the middle name Sebastian after St. Sebastian. Her kids all have normal names and nicknames.