Fundies on STFU, Parents!

[sassycupcake]

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/423 ... baby-names

Do we know this family? In addition to the infamous "Sing Praises," they also have a Zephaniah, Alleluia, and Victory Dawn. It sounded pretty VF (or maybe cray cray Mormon) to me.

[salex]

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/42335580459/yoonique-baby-names

Do we know this family? In addition to the infamous "Sing Praises," they also have a Zephaniah, Alleluia, and Victory Dawn. It sounded pretty VF (or maybe cray cray Mormon) to me.

googled the names and found

facebook.com/pages/The-Blake-Family/116843228366513

Baptists...

Family

Members

Gerald & Lisa Blake

Children:

Sebastian Allen

Tiffany Mariah

Malachi Elijah

Zephaniah Elisha

Dollie Grace

Susanna Faith

Jaresiah Christian

Victory Dawn

Glory Alleluia

Colt Micaiah

Rejoice Evermore

Sing Praises

Strikes me that the names keep getting crazier and crazier.....

[guidedbybobafett]

googled the names and found

facebook.com/pages/The-Blake-Family/116843228366513

Baptists...

Family

Members

Gerald & Lisa Blake

Children:

Sebastian Allen

Tiffany Mariah

Malachi Elijah

Zephaniah Elisha

Dollie Grace

Susanna Faith

Jaresiah Christian

Victory Dawn

Glory Alleluia

Colt Micaiah

Rejoice Evermore

Sing Praises

Strikes me that the names keep getting crazier and crazier.....

Oh man, those are awesome. Colt Micaiah?! I think Rejoice Evermore tops Sing Praises, personally. Sounds like the name of a protagonist in a young adult novel about the coming apocalypse. Or a Christian rock band. The possibilities are endless.

[PennySycamore]

Those last six kids are gonna hate their parents one of these days for giving them such outlandish names. It appears in several cases that they ran out of Old Testament prophet names so they made some up. Several of the girls must be expected to form a choral group. Poor Victory Dawn is stuck with a name that will remind the more worldly of Prairie Dawn on Sesame Stree which, of course, she will never be able to watch.

[Claddagh]

And people wonder why kids sue their parents?

If I were named something like that I'd be going to the courthouse and changing my name the moment I turned 18.

[Mela99]

STFU Parents is the second greatest website in existence. I lurk there all the time.

I can't get over those names. I can't even think of nicknames to salvage them, except maybe 'Joy' (or "Joi" :roll: ) for Rejoice.

This just feels like the makings of a weird-ass T-shirt slogan. Like the ones you see at the beach every year. There's always a new one.

[bbtlover]

I read "Rejoice Evermore" as "Rejoice Nevermore". I've been watching too much tv and movies about Edgar Allan Poe.

[Closed Womb]

Loooove me some STFU, Parents.

From the names, it looks like the parents have become more and more isolated over the years, to the point where "Sing Praises" sounds acceptable. I cannot imagine seeing that on a job application, but maybe that is the point?

[Closed Womb]

I read "Rejoice Evermore" as "Rejoice Nevermore". I've been watching too much tv and movies about Edgar Allan Poe.

With apologies to EAP:

Then this silly fundie beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,

`Though thy hair be long and crunchy, thou,' I said, `art sure no fundie.

Ghastly grim and ancient fundie wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the God's blessed shore!'

Quoth the Fundie, `evermore.'

[slickcat79]

Ha, I see the Duggars got a shout-out in that entry as well.

In case you were wondering, “J†names don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. They’ve been popular ever since Britney Spears named her son Jayden and the Duggars started building a cult family, and the names are continuing their meteoric rise in 2013

[ILoveJellybeans]

I love STFU Parents!

Those names are terrible. I hope they homeschool, for the children's sake, because those kids will be made fun of in school.

The one who was thinking of J names should name the kid Jinger.

[Buzzard]

Not known if fundie related, but this is my favoritist STFU parents:

Glitter optional!

stfuparentsblog.com/post/34200212518/fright-fest-12-placenta-profile

[snarkyjan]

And people wonder why kids sue their parents?

If I were named something like that I'd be going to the courthouse and changing my name the moment I turned 18.

I'd not only change the name, I'd sue my parents for defamation of character.

[sassycupcake]

Not known if fundie related, but this is my favoritist STFU parents:

Glitter optional!

stfuparentsblog.com/post/34200212518/fright-fest-12-placenta-profile

I had to click through and see which (of the many) placenta posts is your fave.

Now postponing lunch. :(

[crazyforkate]

Oh, god, so many hideous names. Seriously, you can have as big a family as you want and not run out of good Biblical/religious names, if that's your thing. Why so much crazy?

As for some of the other names in that post...vomit. Giving your kid a special name does not make him or her special.

[Conuly]

Sebastian Allen

Tiffany Mariah

Malachi Elijah

Zephaniah Elisha

Dollie Grace

Susanna Faith

Jaresiah Christian

Victory Dawn

Glory Alleluia

Colt Micaiah

Rejoice Evermore

Sing Praises

I actually can come up with nicknames for most of these, though some of them are a stretch. Skipping the first two, we have Mal, Lisa (for the middle name), Dolores or just Grace (because you should never inflict a nickname on a kid in lieu of a full name unless you have a darn good reason for it), Sue, Jerry or Jessie depending on gender, Vicky, Gloria or Ally, Colin or Mike, Joy, and... well, I give up Sing Praises. Maybe the kid is going to be a blond or a redhead and everybody can call them "Blondie" or "Ginger" or "Rusty" or something like that.

Of course, so those names mostly aren't insurmountable, but I think if I had some of them I'd do like my uncle Bill and just pretend. (He signs his name E. W. Lastname and people just kinda assume he hates his first name and his middle name is William, but no, that's not it. But you know, his names are actual names that weren't taken from some obscure passage in the OT. He just doesn't like them. )

[Buzzard]

I actually can come up with nicknames for most of these, though some of them are a stretch. Skipping the first two, we have Mal, Lisa (for the middle name), Dolores or just Grace (because you should never inflict a nickname on a kid in lieu of a full name unless you have a darn good reason for it), Sue, Jerry or Jessie depending on gender, Vicky, Gloria or Ally, Colin or Mike, Joy, and... well, I give up Sing Praises. Maybe the kid is going to be a blond or a redhead and everybody can call them "Blondie" or "Ginger" or "Rusty" or something like that.

Of course, so those names mostly aren't insurmountable, but I think if I had some of them I'd do like my uncle Bill and just pretend. (He signs his name E. W. Lastname and people just kinda assume he hates his first name and his middle name is William, but no, that's not it. But you know, his names are actual names that weren't taken from some obscure passage in the OT. He just doesn't like them. )

They could take a page out of the headline STFU of the day and use bible names, but be kreative and spell them backwards (The one today is "Dracula" backwards).

Boys:

Maharba

Caasi

Phesoj

Sesom

Bocaaj

Girls:

Haras

Rehtse

Htelil

Acceber

So much fun!

[ShesCrafty]

Rejoice and Sing!? Those are fucking horrible (along with most of the others).

If I ever have children (not gonna happen) maybe I'll name them Despair Nevermore and Yodel Scorn. Still better than Rejoice and Sing.

[Guest Anonymous]

[sNIP]

They could take a page out of the headline STFU of the day and use bible names, but be kreative and spell them backwards (The one today is "Dracula" backwards).

Boys:

Maharba

Caasi

Phesoj

Sesom

Bocaaj

Girls:

Haras

Rehtse

Htelil

Acceber

So much fun!

I'm sure it's just a matter of time, Buzzard. Don't forget to say 'I told you so' when it does happen.

[RachelB]

Poor Glory Alleluia is going to have a lifetime of people humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" at her.

[NjoyingNsanity]

Wow those are some "speshul" names, my kids have mostly religious names but nothing that strange. Nathan Shayne, Michaela Corrinna, Abigail Grace, Bethany Cheyenne and Emily Anne are fairly normal names. As far as Biblical names go if any of my girls had been boys they would have been Gabriel, Elijah or Matthew. I just don't see why they need to choose these outlandish names when there are so many perfectly normal Biblical names that are not too common.

[Esther]

With apologies to EAP:

Then this silly fundie beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,

`Though thy hair be long and crunchy, thou,' I said, `art sure no fundie.

Ghastly grim and ancient fundie wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the God's blessed shore!'

Quoth the Fundie, `evermore.'

Amazing. :D

[aubrietta]

Interesting that the names get more and more fundie-weird as the years go by. I wonder if it is reflective of a slide deeper into the depths of fundamentalism as the years went by?

[RachelB]

Interesting that the names get more and more fundie-weird as the years go by. I wonder if it is reflective of a slide deeper into the depths of fundamentalism as the years went by?

That seems like the most logical explanation. These parents have been taking the "be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed blah blah" increasingly seriously. I can only imagine the difficulty of trying to conform to the world with a name like Sing Praises.

[whirlygirly]

I actually can come up with nicknames for most of these, though some of them are a stretch. Skipping the first two, we have Mal, Lisa (for the middle name), Dolores or just Grace (because you should never inflict a nickname on a kid in lieu of a full name unless you have a darn good reason for it), Sue, Jerry or Jessie depending on gender, Vicky, Gloria or Ally, Colin or Mike, Joy, and... well, I give up Sing Praises. Maybe the kid is going to be a blond or a redhead and everybody can call them "Blondie" or "Ginger" or "Rusty" or something like that.

There aren't really any good nicknames for Sebastian, maybe Ian or he could go by Allen. Not that Sebastian is an awful name or anything, it's just kind of a mouthful. As for Zephaniah Elisha- I'm pretty sure that's a boy's name. I don't know what you could change it to- maybe Zephan=Stephen? Poor Sing Praises. Maybe she could be Cindy?