Utah Adoption Ignores Married Father

[chaotic life]

Yes, John Wyatt. I fear the only chance that father has to get his child returned is to get it OUT of Utah courts. It is legally child trafficking that Emma was transported across state lines into Utah, but it's extremely difficult as an unmarried father to exert ANY rights once the child is IN Utah. Now, it's possible some day that couple could slip up and leave Utah with Emma and the father could exert his rights in another state. However, unless he can get higher courts to intervene, he has likely lost his child. That is how Utah adoption laws are set up for this exact reason.

However, Utah adoption laws are biased towards married couples. It's meant to be an advantage to the adoptive parents and another method to steal babies. For the father in the OP case, this very bias might be the way he ultimately gets his child BACK. Since he was married and can clearly show he was supporting his wife, he can use Utah's own laws to get his baby back.

Utah adoption laws DISGUST me. They are horrifying and are nothing but legally sanctioned child kidnapping.

[ILoveJellybeans]

THats not fair, fathers have rights to their children too, and placing a child up for adoption should be a joint decision. If she doesnt want to keep the child, why not let the dad raise it? I think its more about punishing him, than about whats best for the child.

[dpndetfarm]

But if they give the baby back they won't have their matched set! (Sarcasm)

I dont understand why the adoption was allowed to even happen without both parents having signed away their parental rights. Seems to me the baby couldnt be legally adopted as it was. Fostered maybe, but adopted, no.

[DarkAnts]

My guess is that he was advised no contact with the adoptive family. Especially because race is a factor, the bio father would have risked accusations of inappropriate behavior of one sort or another.

I had a situation in my second divorce where any time I made an attempt to access my personal belongings, my ex made a police report that I stole or damaged property.

My guess the sgt needed to prioritize staying squeaky clean over all else. It happens.

The father is not required by law to show that he is fit to be the parent. The adoption should not have happened according to Utah law period.

I would wager that legal fees and having to travel to Utah for the court cases has emptied the fathers pockets. He lives out of state.

[Mela99]

Unfuckingbelievable. That adoption center should be ashamed of themselves, too.

[chaotic life]

These Utah agencies don't have the decency to be ashamed of their actions. They operate in impunity. They charge a LOT of money (I would bet this family is lying with the claim that they cost $25K for each adoption honestly) to rich, primarly LDS but also wealthy non-Utah couples and bank on the fact that Utah will let them play loose and goose and most birthfathers are too poor to fight them.

The sad fact being missed is that if this mother had told the truth and the father had abandoned her, we wouldn't be hearing about this case. If he had abandoned her and then found out she did this to his child, no court in Utah would have cared. This was an oopsie, he didn't REALLY abandon her, she lied but we'll treat him like he did anyway. It took this man MONTHS to find his child, and that only happened when they attempted to terminate his parental rights on the claim of abandonment. He had been looking for his baby from the get-go, he just never DREAMED to look in Utah until then.

[SoybeanQueen]

This is why I tried not to complain too much when it took ages to finalize our adoptions. At least I can sleep well at night knowing that everyone who had rights in the case were properly notified and had every possible chance to respond through the courts. I wouldn't even begin to know how to explain to my children later in life that they had a biological parent who fought to raise them, but I was too selfish to allow it. No thanks. I'd rather wait out the legal proceedings.

[BlackHawk]

But if they give the baby back they won't have their matched set! (Sarcasm)

I dont understand why the adoption was allowed to even happen without both parents having signed away their parental rights. Seems to me the baby couldnt be legally adopted as it was. Fostered maybe, but adopted, no.

A lot of adoptions happen without the birthfathers signature. An agency has to do "everything within their power" to identify the father of the child, but if no father steps forward, adoptions can go through. It's a very gray area in my mind with the fathers. We specified in our adoption that we wanted a birth father signature, but baby girls mom ended up not having one. We made sure our private attorney did more than our agency did, but the two men who she stated could be the birth father denied a paternity test and both signed statements stating that if they were the baby's father they would move forward with the adoption. So I guess in a way it was signed off by both parents (or possible parents anyway). Could baby girl's mom have lied, totally, but we had no way of knowing. Sometimes the mother may not know who the father of her child is as tragic as that may be.

This case is disgusting... the father wants his child, he should have the chance to raise his child. Utah is a horrible state for adoptions being unethical. The state just... ugh.. pisses me off. The fact that a couple agencies we spoke with told us they often encourage their birthmothers to "move" to Utah right before the baby is born in order to have a "smoother" process... it just is disgusting and wrong. Ethical adoptions CAN happen, and they do happen... but states like Utah make those of us trying to achieve ethical adoptions have a harder time convincing people that adoption can be a great thing for everyone involved.

Fuck Utah.

[lilwriter85]

These Utah agencies don't have the decency to be ashamed of their actions. They operate in impunity. They charge a LOT of money (I would bet this family is lying with the claim that they cost $25K for each adoption honestly) to rich, primarly LDS but also wealthy non-Utah couples and bank on the fact that Utah will let them play loose and goose and most birthfathers are too poor to fight them.

The sad fact being missed is that if this mother had told the truth and the father had abandoned her, we wouldn't be hearing about this case. If he had abandoned her and then found out she did this to his child, no court in Utah would have cared. This was an oopsie, he didn't REALLY abandon her, she lied but we'll treat him like he did anyway. It took this man MONTHS to find his child, and that only happened when they attempted to terminate his parental rights on the claim of abandonment. He had been looking for his baby from the get-go, he just never DREAMED to look in Utah until then.

There is an article about Mitt Romney's years as a LDS bishop. There was an incident in the 80s when he tried to get one of his ward member to put her son up for adoption with an LDS agency. The ward member was single at the time of her son's birth. I got the vibe that shady things happen with LDS agencies and I mentioned it another thread here and another poster mentioned how shady LDS agencies and Utah is regarding adoptions.

[Alecto]

In this case, the biological mother willingly committed fraud by lying and saying the father lived at a Texas address.

Also, he was deployed at the time, which means that the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act can come into play as well.

As far as the not sending gifts? Due to adoption laws and the fact he wanted his child back, he probably had no contact address for the family.

[valsa]

As far as the not sending gifts? Due to adoption laws and the fact he wanted his child back, he probably had no contact address for the family.

Besides, what could he expect the kidnappers (I refuse to call them "parents" at this point) to tell the child about any presents he sends? "This is the teddy bear your biological daddy, who loves you very much and wants you back but we won't let him, sent to you. Isn't he a great, but apparently not great enough to satisfy to us his worthiness to raise his own child, daddy?"

[gustava]

Utah court rules in favor of bio dad.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/0 ... 39398.html

[lilwriter85]

I wish the father would do a Dateline or 20/20 interview that way more people would know about Utah's shitty adoption laws.

[Turtle]

I wish the father would do a Dateline or 20/20 interview that way more people would know about Utah's shitty adoption laws.

Me too. To be honest, I had no idea this was such an issue in Utah until reading this thread. The more outrage, the more scrutiny, hopefully the less they will be able to get away with.

[Terrie]

I made the mistake of reading the comments on the ABC news story about this case. SO many people arguing that the child will be so damaged by being removed from her "family" that she should stay where she is, because she's bonded to them, not her father. Great, how long do I have to keep someone's kids away from their parents before I can claim that they're my kids? Also, some wacko arguing that men don't have children; they are merely sperm donors.

[lilwriter85]

I viewed some of the HuffPo's comments section and the comments I saw were supportive of the father. There was one commentator that said the the LDS church shouldn't be blamed. I think to an extent the LDS church can't be blamed, but the LDS church and beliefs are part of the reason for the shitty adoption laws in Utah. I'm not not surprised by some of the comments on the ABS news story.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I made the mistake of reading the comments on the ABC news story about this case. SO many people arguing that the child will be so damaged by being removed from her "family" that she should stay where she is, because she's bonded to them, not her father. Great, how long do I have to keep someone's kids away from their parents before I can claim that they're my kids? Also, some wacko arguing that men don't have children; they are merely sperm donors.

Thats so true, by that logic, if someone was to kidnap a child and werent found for a few months/years, they should be able to keep the child because theyve bonded to their kidnappers.

[NurseNell]

Me too. To be honest, I had no idea this was such an issue in Utah until reading this thread. The more outrage, the more scrutiny, hopefully the less they will be able to get away with.

It's long been a problem sadly. Baby Emma's father Wyatt was also robbed of his child by Utah. One of the major networks did a story on him. Utah's adoption laws are so written in favor of adopters plus several agencies there just out and out lie, and steal children outright. The only reason a Utah judge ruled in this father's favor was because he was married. Had he been single the agency would have won.

[wild little fox]

I used to believe that once a bond is established that it should not be broken because the damage was not in the child's best interest.

Now that I've had time to think about it, I would ask: How are laws that are geared towards tearing a child away from their biological families in the best interest of the children in Utah?

[DarkAnts]

The adoption mom highely censored the blog yesterday. Comments like saying that the baby was mine!!!!! are now gone. I hope the genetic dad got some screen caps of that and of all the comments that put him in negative light. It would be great if he could sue the family for libel when all is said and done.

[SoybeanQueen]

I looked at their blog today, and it still said the father had abandoned the baby's birth mother and made no attempt to find his child. From the news stories, it sounds like he's hoping to work with them to make an easier transition for his daughter. I hope they take him up on it, because there's no legal way they can win, even if they try to drag it out. If they don't, I hope he does sue them. He's in the Army. I doubt it was that hard to track him down if the birth mom had wanted to.

[DarkAnts]

New followup with the Salt Lake Trib. Below are some quotes from the story.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/55401223-78/adoption-achane-utah-child.html.csp

Ken Stettler, licensing director for the Utah Department of Health and Human Services, told the Tribune that the Adoption Center of Choice has operated under a corrective action plan since September, when its license was extended but not renewed. The action was taken because of documentation deficiencies in some case files, Stettler said. The extension expires at the end of December, the deadline for the agency to come into compliance. But allegations in the adoption case have raised new questions and prompted additional review, Stettler said.

In a statement released to KUTV on Monday, the Freis claim Achane abandoned his wife before their child’s birth and has done nothing to build a relationship with the now 21-month-old girl.

"We are deeply saddened by the court’s decision to give the child back to a father she does not know at all," said the Freis, who have four biological children and two adopted children, including Leah. "We believe that the court made serious legal errors in his decision and will address these concerns with the Utah Court of Appeals."

Achane, who calls his daughter "Teleah," told The Tribune he did not attempt to send gifts or other support once he learned the Freis had his daughter because, given her age and the circumstances, he felt those gestures were unlikely to reach her or make sense to her. Achane, 31, has had two three-hour visits with her during trips to Utah for legal hearings, but otherwise the Freis have not allowed contact.

But Mark Wiser, Achane’s attorney, said the Freis have not responded to repeated attempts by Achane to connect with his daughter since the Nov. 20 ruling.

Poor girl. I hope she is living in a stable environment soon.

[linnea27]

Poor child. No matter the outcome, she is getting screwed, either by forcibly removing her from the only home she knows, or by continuing to keep her away from her presumably loving father.

[moodygirl86]

It's thanks to women like this that ACTUAL feminism gets a bad rap...

[lilwriter85]

The adoption mom highely censored the blog yesterday. Comments like saying that the baby was mine!!!!! are now gone. I hope the genetic dad got some screen caps of that and of all the comments that put him in negative light. It would be great if he could sue the family for libel when all is said and done.

I checked the blog yesterday and didn't see those "baby was mine" comments. I also hope the dad or people connected to him saw that screen capped it. When I first read throgh Frei site, they came as major assholes about several things. I still laugh at how they have a donation fund for legal bills, but they tried to make the bio dad out to be horrible because he isn't paying for his lawyer.