Utah Adoption Ignores Married Father

[NurseNell]

I don't think this has been posted. This is an adoption out of Utah, surprise, surprise, in which a married woman placed her baby for adoption despite the father wanting to raise his daughter. The father is in the military and was not present when his daughter was born. A "good" LDS couple have adopted the baby even though they knew the father did not want the child adopted and had not given his permission. They have been ordered to return the child but they feel God is on their side.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/55373 ... qus_thread

"This is a case of human trafficking," said Mark Wiser. "Children are being bought and sold. It is one thing what [adoption agencies] have been doing with unmarried biological fathers. It is in a new area when they are trying to take a child away from a married father who wants to have his child."

Jared and Kristi Frei, the adoptive parents, declined to comment, as did Kasey Wright, their former attorney, and Larry Jenkins, newly hired to represent the couple. James Webb, executive director of the Adoption Center of Choice, based in Orem, did not return a call from The Salt Lake Tribune. The Tribune attempted to reach Tira Bland, the birth mother who is now divorced from Achane, but was unsuccessful.

On a blog about the case, where the Freis have raised more than $20,000 to help with legal bills, they vow to appeal McDade’s decision, describing the arrival of Achane’s daughter in their lives "a righteous desire blessed to fruition by God."

[Peas n carrots]

Utah is notorious for having some of the most favorible laws towards adoptive parents. Doesn't surprise me that this happened. But seems like there should be more to this story. Why did the mother not want her now ex husband to have parental rights? I felt there was no satisfactory explanation.

Oh, and this comment from the adoptive mother really frosted my cake:

On a blog about the case, where the Freis have raised more than $20,000 to help with legal bills, they vow to appeal McDade’s decision, describing the arrival of Achane’s daughter in their lives "a righteous desire blessed to fruition by God

Fuck me, what a massive entitlement complex.

[Alecto]

Here is the adoptive family's website.

http://frei-adoption.com/Frei/Leah.html

The mother committed out and out fraud, based on the news article. I am happy for the father.

[NurseNell]

Utah is notorious for having some of the most favorible laws towards adoptive parents. Doesn't surprise me that this happened. But seems like there should be more to this story. Why did the mother not want her now ex husband to have parental rights.

This isn't unusual in situations where a couple is breaking up, married or not. She wouldn't be the first mother to place her child as a way to hurt the father. If there were legitimate reasons why he couldn't parent then she should make her accusations and let an impartial child psychologist investigate and make a ruling. It is unethical and illegal to ignore the rights of the father.

[Alecto]

Utah is notorious for having some of the most favorible laws towards adoptive parents. Doesn't surprise me that this happened. But seems like there should be more to this story. Why did the mother not want her now ex husband to have parental rights.

He was deployed and she resented it.

[DarkAnts]

Utah courts always sides with the mother. I feel sorry for the actual father who wants the child but probably wont get it because of the way Utah courts work.

[Effie]

Utah is notorious for having some of the most favorible laws towards adoptive parents. Doesn't surprise me that this happened. But seems like there should be more to this story. Why did the mother not want her now ex husband to have parental rights.

Perhaps he is not the biological father?

[NurseNell]

Here is the adoptive family's website.

http://frei-adoption.com/Frei/Leah.html

The mother committed out and out fraud, based on the news article. I am happy for the father.

Creating a family had always been our highest priority, and had always come easy to us until we tried to have our fifth child. We knew that we were not done having children, but after years of sudden infertility and several miscarriages, including burying a tiny, perfectly formed little baby boy in the early spring of 2008, we discovered somewhere down the line that Kristi had advanced endometriosis, and would not likely conceive or carry another child again.

I'm sorry but when you've had 4 children don't talk to me about having infertility. I had infertility, I had no biological children. If you had 4 and then weren't able to have more that was God closing your womb. These adoptive parents who have this sense of entitlement to other people's children annoy the hell out of me.

[DarkAnts]

Perhaps he is not the biological father?

I hope that they have done genetic tests by this point. Seems stupid to allow a case to go this far without demanding it. But then again this is the Utah court system.

[NurseNell]

Perhaps he is not the biological father?

Actually when a couple is married the husband is legally the father, and his permission must be obtained for the child to be placed for adoption. I don't think the article mentions if paternity testing was done. It would be my guess it has. The mother says he's the father, and the judge, who has access to all records, has ruled for the father.

[DarkAnts]

The mother and father were married when the mother put the child up for adoption. The adoption couple knew at the time of the adoption that the Father wanted the child but decided to go on with the adoption. Utah law requires that if the mother and father are married at the time of the adoption, then both parents have to consent for the adoption to move forward. This caused the court to rule in favor of the biological father. The next court case in January is suppose to discuss how to transition the child back to its father. The adopted family wants the child to stay with them until they have been able to appeal to the highest level of court. I dont see how any court in Utah could stop the transition back to the biological father given the law.

[dianapavelovna]

FUCKED. UP. I am glad that the judge ruled in favor of Mr. Achane, and I hope he and everyone involved have the help and support they need to make a smooth transition for that little girl.

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but I can't help but feel an undercurrent of unconscious racism in the Freis' objections. I'm sure it is very painful for them to lose the baby after having her in their family for so long, but they knew she was a legal risk when they accepted her. There's no good reason to deny the man his daughter that I can see - other than the fact that he's a divorced black man up against a happy white family.

[DarkAnts]

The fathers attorney (Mark Wiser) posted a comment on the story. They are starting a legal fund for the father who has significantly less money (being in the army) then the Freis. If you want to donate to the fathers legal fund, here is the website for the attorney (http://wiserandwiser.com/index.shtml).

[lilwriter85]

I was annoyed by the below quote on the Frei family's site.

The father intervenes…

Several months later, we were able to track down the birth father to serve him with our adoption petition. To our great shock and dismay, he objected to our petition and intervened to stop the adoption. Over the last 19 months, despite the law requiring that a father show interest in his child and at least attempt regular communication to establish a bond, the father has never shown any interest in Leah other than to hire an attorney (which he is not paying). He has never sent her clothes or toys, or even a gift on Christmas or her birthday. He’s never inquired into her health and well-being. He hasn’t asked for pictures or other details like when she started crawling, walking, talking, or cutting her first tooth. In short, he hasn’t shown any of the natural affection or interest of a parent. But because the child was conceived in wedlock, he can object to the adoption, forcing us to trial to terminate his parental rights. On top of two already expensive adoptions (each costing around $25,000)—and though a difficult financial burden, we were prepared to face the sacrifice of those obligations—we are forced now to incur approximately another $30,000 in attorney fees for a two-day trial at the end of this month

They cut the father down for not paying for his attorney, but yet is perfectly fine for them to raise money on their site for legal bills. I had to sound cruel but I think they are using the part about expensive adoptions to tug at the heart strings of people. I feel sorry for them because of problems they had before they started on the path of adoption. But they have entitlement issues that annoy me.

ETA: I also get the feeling that they are lying about Terry not having any interest. It is also possible that the reason he doesn't send gifts is because he might fear that the Freis would withhold the gifts from the baby.

[Coconut Flan]

So if I read that right they knew when the little girl was around 3 months old that the father wanted his own daughter and they have deliberately kept the child from him? Why not acknowledge the mother lied and hand over the child? It seems they are a huge part of the problem.

[lilwriter85]

I agree, Abigail the adoptive parents are huge part of the problem.

[Sola]

Do you have fathers4justice in the US? They can be quite militant here, but this does sound up their street.

[Shina]

Ugh, I've heard of too many cases like this where the father's rights are trampled because entitled adoptive parents think their picture-perfect family transcends the law. Will be following closely.

[valsa]

Wow. I'll admit that I don't always think favorably about birth fathers. I've seen a few too many children languishing in foster care for an extra 2-3 years because birth fathers won't agree to willingly terminate their rights, even though they either have never shown any interest at all in the child and/or they're in prison for the next 10-15 years. Usually, if he's not in prison, it's a case of the paternal grandmother putting pressure on her son (because she's been found unfit to get custody of the children but knows her son will probably leave them with her if he gets custody) or, if he is in prison, he just wants to use the continued court dates as a chance to leave for the day.

However, this is not one of those cases. This man isn't selfishly denying his child a chance at permanency even though he is unwilling and/or unable to care for the child. This man is willing and able to raise his child and, and far as I can see, not even the birth mother has accused him of being a danger to the child. Utah has played fast and loose with their adoption rules for a long time and I'm glad a judge finally showed some common sense in giving this man back his child who, for all intents and purposes, was kidnapped for adoption trafficking.

[Peas n carrots]

I was annoyed by the below quote on the Frei family's site.

They cut the father down for not paying for his attorney, but yet is perfectly fine for them to raise money on their site for legal bills. I had to sound cruel but I think they are using the part about expensive adoptions to tug at the heart strings of people. I feel sorry for them because of problems they had before they started on the path of adoption. But they have entitlement issues that annoy me.

ETA: I also get the feeling that they are lying about Terry not having any interest. It is also possible that the reason he doesn't send gifts is because he might fear that the Freis would withhold the gifts from the baby.

There could be reasons why the limited contact. Maybe the attorney advised Sgt Achane to not have contact with the adoptoraptors? Seeing he will have extensive attorney fees he probably isnt sending gifts (and I dont see thr adoptoraptors being the types to give the baby those gifts anyways).

These folks really make me seriously angry. They went into this knowing that this would be a possible issue. They also have other children as it is. I do not feel one iota sorry for them, and I really would love to see them put in their place and the father get to finally be with his baby.

[chaotic life]

Utah adoption laws are ALL about child trafficking. They finally fucked up badly enough their own judges are forced to reverse one of their swoop and steal adoptions. The ONLY consent a birthfather has to give in Utah is that the mother has to be able to prove she notified him she was placing the baby for adoption in Utah. That is ALL. After that, he has to show immediate and consierable knowledge to stop her from placing or Utah considers his consent to be implied. Most of these agencies have a woman send a text right before the child goes from hospital to adoptive family and then make herself unavailable for a short period of time. I think it's 48 hours is all.

The other big case in the courts is an adoption where the mother DID give that notice but she gave birth in Virginia so Utah laws should NOT have applied to the surrender, except Utah took custody and transported the baby across state lines and have attempted to implement Utah laws on the case after the fact. I think that poor father has been fighting for his child for two years at this point.

Utah and the bulk of the adoptive famlies who adopt via Utah (because anyone who wants an ETHICAL adoption refuses to use Utah's system) is a crystal clear example of what is going rampantly WRONG in adoption. While the rest of us are working hard to eliminate things such as baby scoops and child trafficking, Utah is brazen in their child trafficking and kidnapping. It's just their laws favor marriage SO much this man might actually stand a chance to get his baby back.

Of course, if this couple is anything like the other couples who hit the media, they will drag this out for YEARS, retaining custody of this poor child the entire time and then parade a macabre display of distraught 3-6 year old down the road when they run out of options and are forced to give her back anyway. The only reason Baby Richard and others like him hit the media in those heart-wrenching productions is because those famlies refuse to do the RIGHT thing and give a child BACK. They deliberately damage these kids because they hope that after years of holding a child hostage that the judges will ignore what is legal and right and allow them to keep a stolen child in the child's best interest.

[FlorenceHamilton]

My guess is that he was advised no contact with the adoptive family. Especially because race is a factor, the bio father would have risked accusations of inappropriate behavior of one sort or another.

I had a situation in my second divorce where any time I made an attempt to access my personal belongings, my ex made a police report that I stole or damaged property.

My guess the sgt needed to prioritize staying squeaky clean over all else. It happens.

[chaotic life]

He did EXACTLY what the law requires he do to show interest in his child. He hired a lawyer. It wouldn't MATTER what interest he showed if he didn't hire the lawyer because it would not make a legal case and these people aren't about to return the fruition of their premonintions and promises over a minor detail like a loving, legal father who has every right to have HIS child back. It's a straw man argument adopters like this make when they say the parent has shown no interest in a child to *them* but that same parent has hired attorneys and taken them to court. They wouldn't allow access, nor would it build a legal case anyway. The ONLY thing this father can do to "show interest" in his child is to hire an attorney and file suit as fast as his legs can carry him to the courthouse. He did so. He has CLEARLY shown interest.

I love how they perpetuate their LIES about the case on their website. The court has already ruled, and he has alredy proven that he did NOT leave his wife without warning, notification, nor financial support. She LIED yet to garner sympathy this couple continues to spread her lie as the truth of the case.

[Peas n carrots]

Utah adoption laws are ALL about child trafficking. They finally fucked up badly enough their own judges are forced to reverse one of their swoop and steal adoptions. The ONLY consent a birthfather has to give in Utah is that the mother has to be able to prove she notified him she was placing the baby for adoption in Utah. That is ALL. After that, he has to show immediate and consierable knowledge to stop her from placing or Utah considers his consent to be implied. Most of these agencies have a woman send a text right before the child goes from hospital to adoptive family and then make herself unavailable for a short period of time. I think it's 48 hours is all.

The other big case in the courts is an adoption where the mother DID give that notice but she gave birth in Virginia so Utah laws should NOT have applied to the surrender, except Utah took custody and transported the baby across state lines and have attempted to implement Utah laws on the case after the fact. I think that poor father has been fighting for his child for two years at this point.

Utah and the bulk of the adoptive famlies who adopt via Utah (because anyone who wants an ETHICAL adoption refuses to use Utah's system) is a crystal clear example of what is going rampantly WRONG in adoption. While the rest of us are working hard to eliminate things such as baby scoops and child trafficking, Utah is brazen in their child trafficking and kidnapping. It's just their laws favor marriage SO much this man might actually stand a chance to get his baby back.

Of course, if this couple is anything like the other couples who hit the media, they will drag this out for YEARS, retaining custody of this poor child the entire time and then parade a macabre display of distraught 3-6 year old down the road when they run out of options and are forced to give her back anyway. The only reason Baby Richard and others like him hit the media in those heart-wrenching productions is because those famlies refuse to do the RIGHT thing and give a child BACK. They deliberately damage these kids because they hope that after years of holding a child hostage that the judges will ignore what is legal and right and allow them to keep a stolen child in the child's best interest.

I've heard of adoption agencies that like to send birth mothers to Utah for that very reason.

I think you are referring to Baby Emma? This case is just as disgusting. I unfortunately don't think is poor man will ever get a chance to raise his own child. The Utah courts are so tight with the LDS they will never rule in favor of an unwed father.

http://www.babyemmawyatt.com/

[mirele]

Utah adoption laws are ALL about child trafficking. They finally fucked up badly enough their own judges are forced to reverse one of their swoop and steal adoptions. The ONLY consent a birthfather has to give in Utah is that the mother has to be able to prove she notified him she was placing the baby for adoption in Utah. That is ALL. After that, he has to show immediate and consierable knowledge to stop her from placing or Utah considers his consent to be implied. Most of these agencies have a woman send a text right before the child goes from hospital to adoptive family and then make herself unavailable for a short period of time. I think it's 48 hours is all.

The other big case in the courts is an adoption where the mother DID give that notice but she gave birth in Virginia so Utah laws should NOT have applied to the surrender, except Utah took custody and transported the baby across state lines and have attempted to implement Utah laws on the case after the fact. I think that poor father has been fighting for his child for two years at this point.

Utah and the bulk of the adoptive famlies who adopt via Utah (because anyone who wants an ETHICAL adoption refuses to use Utah's system) is a crystal clear example of what is going rampantly WRONG in adoption. While the rest of us are working hard to eliminate things such as baby scoops and child trafficking, Utah is brazen in their child trafficking and kidnapping. It's just their laws favor marriage SO much this man might actually stand a chance to get his baby back.

Of course, if this couple is anything like the other couples who hit the media, they will drag this out for YEARS, retaining custody of this poor child the entire time and then parade a macabre display of distraught 3-6 year old down the road when they run out of options and are forced to give her back anyway. The only reason Baby Richard and others like him hit the media in those heart-wrenching productions is because those famlies refuse to do the RIGHT thing and give a child BACK. They deliberately damage these kids because they hope that after years of holding a child hostage that the judges will ignore what is legal and right and allow them to keep a stolen child in the child's best interest.

This, this, this. Utah is TERRIBLE on adoption. Swoop and steal is right. Many, many years ago, I was hired to review the court record of the adoption of four kids under age six. Basically, the parents lived unconventional lives for Provo, Utah (they were big on Society for Creative Anachronism) and they kept a messy house. The kids were removed and it was apparent from the court record that the social worker was hell-bent on removing the kids permanently into a good Mormon family. And that's what happened.

There have been other cases as well...back in the 1980s I remember a case where white Utah adoptive parents were involved in a tussle with the Bureau of Indian Affairs because the child they'd adopted was part Indian. The tribe should have had first dibs on placing the child with a tribal family but again, swoop and steal came into play. This thing had wound through the courts for so long that National Public Radio was even able to interview the kid, who was at least 10 years old by then.

This has been going on for literally decades and has everything to do with the Mormon belief that the nuclear family is best.