Utah Adoption Ignores Married Father

[BravaAmica]

I checked the blog yesterday and didn't see those "baby was mine" comments. I also hope the dad or people connected to him saw that screen capped it. When I first read throgh Frei site, they came as major assholes about several things. I still laugh at how they have a donation fund for legal bills, but they tried to make the bio dad out to be horrible because he isn't paying for his lawyer.

Maybe he's not paying for his lawyer because he's going to sue them for legal fees? I know I would.

[formergothardite]

Wasn't there another case with a little girl that was a lot like this, except not in Utah? It was some sort of Christian foster parent thing where the foster parents just decided the kid was theirs even though the parents didn't want to give the child up for adoption. And it got drug out till she was like 8 or something, but eventually she was given back to her real parents.

This couple in Utah did not adopt this child, so they weren't adoptive parents, they were at best foster parents. They knew from the beginning that they hadn't really adopted her and it would have saved this poor little girl a world of grief if they would have given her back when the dad said he wanted her. It will be a hard transition for the little girl, but you just can't go take a person's child.

[Sarietty]

You may be thinking of the case of Anna Mae He, whose parents (Chinese citizens living in the U.S.) and foster parents were involved in a custody battle from 2000 - 2007.

[formergothardite]

You may be thinking of the case of Anna Mae He, whose parents (Chinese citizens living in the U.S.) and foster parents were involved in a custody battle from 2000 - 2007.

That was it. Thank you. Christians stealing kids for Jesus. Just lovely.

[longskirtlotsakids]

The saddest thing is , it does not have to be so full of animosity. If the adoptives and biodad could get it together and do playdates to day visits to overnights to weekends- then allow contact and visits after custody is transferred- Leah could get through this with no trauma at all.

But the adoptives seem so possessive and righteously entitled that they are actually setting it up for a tearful, traumatic custody transfer.

[E Street Fan]

The saddest thing is , it does not have to be so full of animosity. If the adoptives and biodad could get it together and do playdates to day visits to overnights to weekends- then allow contact and visits after custody is transferred- Leah could get through this with no trauma at all.

But the adoptives seem so possessive and righteously entitled that they are actually setting it up for a tearful, traumatic custody transfer.

Yes, and after Teleah is shown on nationwide television looking like Baby Jessica, those assholes in Utah will be in the media saying, "She didn't want to go! She wanted to stay with us! Look what the courts and her bio father did to her!" Mark my words.

[DarkAnts]

Maybe he's not paying for his lawyer because he's going to sue them for legal fees? I know I would.

He is paying his lawyer, but at a reduced fee. His lawyers office is collecting donations that will go towards current and future legal fees.

[BravaAmica]

He is paying his lawyer, but at a reduced fee. His lawyers office is collecting donations that will go towards current and future legal fees.

Good to know. But I still hope he sues for legal fees and emotional distress.

[desertvixen]

Yes, and after Teleah is shown on nationwide television looking like Baby Jessica, those assholes in Utah will be in the media saying, "She didn't want to go! She wanted to stay with us! Look what the courts and her bio father did to her!" Mark my words.

This, sadly.

Also, he didn't abandon her - he was deployed. There's also NO way they can make the argument that he couldn't be traced, because AGAIN he's in the Army. We are generally pretty good about that. There's also a lot of times the military factor gets used against parents in family court.

[Coconut Flan]

I didn't read it that he was deployed but rather reassigned to a different base within CONUS. That would have made the father even easier to find.

[JMarie]

The birth mom was interviewed on Good Morning America this morning, and I set the VCR just so I could watch this segment. The birth dad moved from Texas to South Carolina for work, the story said. "I'd rather see her with me, struggling first before she goes with him," the birth mom said.

[desertvixen]

I didn't read it that he was deployed but rather reassigned to a different base within CONUS. That would have made the father even easier to find.

You are correct - I think I must have mistakenly picked up deployed in the thread, possibly because it's on my mind right now.

And yes, he would have been SUPER easy to find as a DRILL SERGEANT at Fort Jackson.

"We have not lost our conviction that we are in the right!!!!!!" Kristi Frei wrote after McDade’s Nov. 20 ruling dismissed their adoption petition. "We have only ever wanted to do right by Leah, and have always felt we have been acting in her best interest to keep her with our family and raise her as our own. Our hearts have demanded it — there has never been any question to us that she is OURS!!!"

If they wanted to do what was right, they would give the child back. Entitlement is not the word for it.

[Patsy]

My GOD the ENTITLEMENT. :angry-screaming:

[luckystone]

The saddest thing is , it does not have to be so full of animosity. If the adoptives and biodad could get it together and do playdates to day visits to overnights to weekends- then allow contact and visits after custody is transferred- Leah could get through this with no trauma at all.

But the adoptives seem so possessive and righteously entitled that they are actually setting it up for a tearful, traumatic custody transfer.

So many people are not willing to compromsie when it comes to care of a child. It's sad.

I was shocked to see a documentary about twins from orphanages in countries like China etc. be split up - it's quite common. They are adopted to different families. Two sets of families realised their babies looked identical and did a DNA test - pretty sure this was right after they'd taken them. They were identical twins. Did they work something out? No, each one made a fuss about how they wanted THEIR daughter so twins are being raised apart (this is something that really upsets me, I think twins should be raised together). Some families work it out but there are lots of stories where the parents won't even let the twins socialise. Can you imagine??? Disgusting. Adoption angers me in general but there are so many stories that are happening today that are just reminiscent of hundreds of years ago, and the cause is selfishness of various adults, not any greater social evil, not any problem with the children...yuck.

Sorry. Vented a bit.

[ADoyle90815]

You are correct - I think I must have mistakenly picked up deployed in the thread, possibly because it's on my mind right now.

And yes, he would have been SUPER easy to find as a DRILL SERGEANT at Fort Jackson.

If they wanted to do what was right, they would give the child back. Entitlement is not the word for it.

I agree, if they really wanted to do the right thing, they would have given the child back once it was obvious her father was looking for her. I think there's a bit of racism here as well, even though the LDS church officially gave males of African descent the priesthood in 1978 and said that dark skin was no longer the result of Cain's curse.

[chaotic life]

Of course the birthmother would rather the child be with her than with her father, she had NO qualms about lying through her teeth and kidnapping his baby in the first place. Furthermore, unlike most of these cases where the father finally gets involved because the mother feels GUILTY and tells him, this one refused to tell him and he got served when the adopters attempted to have his rights terminated and someone actually found him in spite of her efforts to completely thwart his ability to find his child.

The birthmother should be charged with criminal charges of kidnapping for what she deliberately did to that father AND his child. She is no less guilty than the people who now hold his child hostage ins spite of a court order in Utah ordering her return.

[NurseNell]

http://www.firstmotherforum.com/2012/12 ... ustry.html (no need to break link)

The Adoption Center appears to be plenty profitable. It charges between $22,000 and $30,000 for each of the 100 adoptions it completes each year bringing in between $2,200,000 and $3,000,000. It likely also rakes in money for application fees and home studies. According to our sources, it charges more for white infants than mixed race or African-American babies.

It required the adoptive parents in this case, Jared and Kristi Frei, to pay a $9,800 marketing fee to Blue Sky Choice Marketing which James Webb founded and operates. (The name Blue Sky is ironic. State laws regulating the sale of securities were dubbed "Blue Sky" laws because purchasers often received only a piece of the "blue sky.")

The Adoption Center has done business under eight other names, just as securities con-artists often use multiple names.

[Mela99]

These people.... I hope the best for that little girl.

[YPestis]

I often don't like the stories of adopted children returning to their birth parents after a long battle, but that's because the birth parents 'changed their minds'. In cases like this, the father's rights was trampled on and it is quite disturbing that his child was kidnapped from right under him.

I think the laws in Utah are heavily influenced by the LDS's marriage stance. Given the LDS heavy politics in Utah, I think the laws attempt to place every child in a two parent home as much as possible. Their bias towards birth mothers is probably their (subconscious?) way of punishing the father, who they presume did not marry the mother and/or absconded shortly after having premarital sex---both big no-nos in the LDS culture. However, as we have seen, family court is rarely that clear cut. Not all single fathers are prison convicts, and not all single mothers giving up their babies are saints wanting the best for their child. I'm glad the judge in this case realized the disturbing nature of the case. However, I'm upset that Utah laws shows such disregard for single fathers. I blame this disregard for these out-of-state adoption screwups. Some unscrupulous people realized they can make a pretty buck in Utah by convincing birth mothers to come to Utah. Maybe this case will finally make people realize that they are basically legislating the baby selling business. And that single fathers have just as much rights to their child as single mothers, and should not be ignored.

[DarkAnts]

Here are links to the swiffered posts from the Frels blog.

http://frei-adoption.com/Frei/Update.html (Poor little girl looks uncomfortable in the picture)

http://frei-adoption.com/Frei/Blank.html

[NurseNell]

Didn't the Mormon Church at one time not allow African American members? Or am I remembering wrong?

[lilith]

Didn't the Mormon Church at one time not allow African American members? Or am I remembering wrong?

Yes, and Brigham Young said

"“..Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so.†– JoD: vol.10 p. 110: (March 8, 1863)"

[NurseNell]

Yes, and Brigham Young said

"“..Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so.†– JoD: vol.10 p. 110: (March 8, 1863)"

So do these beautiful African American children morph into white children when they are adopted?

[lilith]

So do these beautiful African American children morph into white children when they are adopted?

Well the Mormons do say that the native Americans who stand with them in the end times will be rewarded by being made "white and delightsome". Really.

[DarkAnts]

It looks like the legal fund for the family that is trying to adopt the girl, has received no donations since the story went international.