The secret to raising helpful children...

[dairyfreelife]

time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2012/11/a-little-secret-every-mother-should-know.html

As youngsters, my sisters and I instinctively gave up our seats to elderly people. We said thank you when we were away from home and offered to help with the dishes if we were guests at their table. Servant-hood was ingrained in our soul. Again, I'm not just talking about girls here. I know plenty of men who respect others, who cherish them, and who are willing to serve them without being asked.

Unfortunately there's this modern mindset that tells women that if they serve their husbands their sons will grow up to be self-centered, chauvinistic pigs because that's the example we're setting for them.

That couldn't be farther from the truth. The Bible tells us to,"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - Proberbs 22:6, KJV

So the answer to the question that lingered with me for the past fifteen years? An exemplified life. If you want a child to grow up with the attitude of going the extra mile for others you must be willing to model that behavior while they are growing under your care.

To think that serving your husband would cause him to take advantage of you is unreasonable. If you're married to someone that's self-centered it's not because your tender loving care has made him that way. In fact people are more likely to mirror your behavior than they are to swing the opposite way.

The perfect scenario for growing children is to see two parents who are willing to go the extra mile for each other. A family who is serving one another other in each their own way.

The last quote makes sense, but she says nothing about what a husband does to "serve" his wife. Children who see their parents love and care for one another is a very positive thing. But why this turns into a "serve and respect your husband" constantly instead of "couples, love and care and respect each other" I will never understand.

[lovefromgirl]

As youngsters, my sisters and I instinctively gave up our seats to elderly people. We said thank you when we were away from home and offered to help with the dishes if we were guests at their table. Servant-hood was ingrained in our soul. Again, I'm not just talking about girls here. I know plenty of men who respect others, who cherish them, and who are willing to serve them without being asked.

Wait, etiquette is servanthood? Whaaaa?

[JesusFightClub]

Wait, etiquette is servanthood? Whaaaa?

QFT

Isn't it just called being polite and helpful?

[Hane]

QFT

Isn't it just called being polite and helpful?

Yeah, that's what I thought, too! But I guess that it ain't good enough unless they use the official lingo and dress it up as Real Christianity ].

[latraviata]

QFT

Isn't it just called being polite and helpful?

Yes it is.

[rock_girl]

Aye. I wasn't aware that my Catholic, working and out earning my father feminist mother was preparing me for a life of misery when she taught me that I should stand on the bloody bus and give my seat to someone who looked like they could use it more than me. Obviously as a child this meant anyone who had paid for a full-price fare. What about all those times my father offered to help clear up after we'd had meals at friends' places? What the heck was that teaching me?

Nothing good I guess.

Stupid people. There's no need to read anything into being polite. Good manners are nothing more than empathy and a bit of parental prodding.

[JesusFightClub]

So "a servant's spirit" is defined as "not being an absolute cunt"?

Good to know.

[slickcat79]

Unfortunately there's this modern mindset that tells women that if they serve their husbands their sons will grow up to be self-centered, chauvinistic pigs because that's the example we're setting for them.

Probably because it's true :roll: Fundie men ARE completely self-centered a chauvinistic as a general rule. When boys see nothing except their mother completely denying herself at the expense of their father's demands, it's a terrible example. Then they see that their mother and sisters are supposed to do the same thing for them just because they have a penis. Meanwhile, the things that Manly Men are supposed to do to "honor" their women never come up, or only rarely. Mom gets to cook all the meals, do all the laundry, clean the house multiple times a week, etc. and Dad gets to change the oil in the cars a few times a year or whatever. And he must be willing to lay down his life for her in a blaze of glory, because that tends to happen in the suburbs.

[Peas n carrots]

QFT

Isn't it just called being polite and helpful?

Non fundies call it polite and helpful. So weird...apparently you can't do anything for the sake of being nice. It is because you must have a servant's heart to please God. That is fucked up.

[ilovetchotchkes]

WTF fundies?

Kids model what they see. So, we are polite to my son.... and what's this? he's polite back! says please and thank you! No lectures, beating or submission necessary. Shit, he's 2 1/2 and he brings his own plate and cup to the sink after each meal. Today he had a toileting accident when he used the potty, (he missed the toilet) I went to go grab the windex to clean it up, and i came back and he's squatting on the floor trying to clean it up with the toilet paper.

These fundies have no clue about childhood development. If you see your child doing something good- like cleaning up on their own. PRAISE THEM, they'll "get" it. They're not dumb.

[Hane]

So "a servant's spirit" is defined as "not being an absolute cunt"?

Good to know.

*shrieks with laughter* JFC, I wish to God I could have you over for Thanksgiving dinner.

[ilovetchotchkes]

*shrieks with laughter* JFC, I wish to God I could have you over for Thanksgiving dinner.

No ! she's coming to MINE! MINE! YOU HEAR ME!??!?

[snarktastic]

Sigh. Dear fundy, there's a difference between being polite and helpful on the one had and waiting on a lazy male hand and foot on the other.