Musing on fundie mothers and sons...

[tabitha2]

Reading a certain fundie blog today;The mother has just given birth to her 13th child and third son in a row.In reading all her preg posts, you can tell she wants another girl-her last is 5. After his birth she out right told the delivery staff she did not want a boy and in fact her sons other than the last toddler don't seem to interest and have closeness with her that much-they belong to their dads world of hunting and outside work, she says.All this is to say, mothers get to keep daughters with them-a daughter never leaves mama till she marries.Do ya'll think some of these mothers disengage themselves with sons sometimes because they aren't 'hers'?

[crassy]

Reading a certain fundie blog today;The mother has just given birth to her 13th child and third son in a row.In reading all her preg posts, you can tell she wants another girl-her last is 5. After his birth she out right told the delivery staff she did not want a boy and in fact her sons other than the last toddler don't seem to interest and have closeness with her that much-they belong to their dads world of hunting and outside work, she says.All this is to say, mothers get to keep daughters with them-a daughter never leaves mama till she marries.Do ya'll think some of these mothers disengage themselves with sons sometimes because they aren't 'hers'?

I don't think you have to be fundie to have that mentality. I've heard some acquaintances say this very thing.

[YPestis]

In a traditional patriarchy society, the mother-son bond was usually very close because the woman's status in the household is closely entwined with her ability to have sons. In the American fundie household, the preference for sons do not really exist, and there may even be a bias for girls for their help around the house. However, I don't see a preference due to the sons being part of the father's world. It's not like fundie males spend their days hunting and farming while the women churn butter. Nowadays, most fundie men go to work and leave their sons at home. The apprenticeship model no longer exists for most jobs, plus children must spent years in school in order to be fully functional adults. The mom is the primary teacher, even in the fundie boy's life. I guess I don't see the need for mothers to disengage from their sons' lives because they are so utterly involved in it until the son reaches late teens. Any preference that I can see is probably personal and not indicative of a trend.

[FloraDoraDolly]

The mom is probably worn out and dreads the thought of chasing after a bunch of wild little boys when she's forty.

[tabitha2]

True.Her 6 year old son never comes off too well her in blog, when he gets mentioned at all.

[Guest Anonymous]

Reading a certain fundie blog today;The mother has just given birth to her 13th child and third son in a row.In reading all her preg posts, you can tell she wants another girl-her last is 5. After his birth she out right told the delivery staff she did not want a boy and in fact her sons other than the last toddler don't seem to interest and have closeness with her that much-they belong to their dads world of hunting and outside work, she says.All this is to say, mothers get to keep daughters with them-a daughter never leaves mama till she marries.Do ya'll think some of these mothers disengage themselves with sons sometimes because they aren't 'hers'?

Wait what? That's quite a turn around from the last time you spoke on this subject.

The family dynamics are different between mothers and daughter;I believe mothers subconsciously don't get too close to daughters because they know that the girl will likely go possibly very far away and from their POV will be part of her husbands family.The fact that a family might have 5 or 6 daughters to replace her is a factor also.

The last part is usually fact-they will move where the husband goes and they do have multiple daughters;The last part would make sense to me-a person may develop all sorts of coping mechanisms to avoid hurting and fundie mothers and daughters more than likely do to put up with the way most of them live;I know emotions don't always work that way though :)

I know.But overall-and this largely true-daughters are molded to be a certain way from birth-that is,marriage and motherhood training-different personalities,interests, goals are not exactly encouraged-they want cookie cutter to keep them in the fold and indoctrinated.Emotions play a factor also but they way many of them live and treat the girls leads me to think emotional distance is not that crazy of a thought.

Maybe individual people react to situations according to their personalities, upbringing, and natural inclinations, therefore it is impossible to make accurate generalizations about this sort of thing.

(Also, the total about face is weird.)

Quotes from this thread: http://freejinger.org/viewtopic.php?p=318412#p318412

[Kitchen Princess]

My mother always used to say to me: A daughter's a daughter all her life; A son's a son until he takes a wife.

[duplessis3]

My mom said that too. My brother lives Less than10 minutes from her, and goes to every doctor's app

[tabitha2]

Maybe it is just this particular family then.Just thinking out loud so to speak.

[wendy-sparkles]

Could someone clarify what blog/family/posts we're talking about?

[tabitha2]

Daily Pleasures which is private now so no direct quotes or pics from me.

[Irishy]

I don't think you have to be fundie to have that mentality. I've heard some acquaintances say this very thing.

Too true. I got a lot of pitying shite when I had my third boy in a row. It made me very tearful at the time that people (some of them close to us) would be disappointed in this beautiful baby that had just been born and was perfect. I think he and I may be closer as a result.