I'm sorry, what did she just say?

[lilwriter85]

So far Lori only has two comments on this entry. She doesn't allow a lot of comments to be posted. But I think she has lost some fans because at one point she was getting over 10 or more comments agreeing with on the topics of submissiveness and gender roles. Lately, she is getting less than 10 comments on some of those entries. I have checked out some of the other bloggers who comment and most of them are fundie. There is one woman who commented on Lori's blog. I checked out her blog and she is more of a mainstream type Christian. I don't see her sticking around on Lori's blog because that blogger will realize that she and her family don't fit into Lori's picture of the "good Christian family".

[Koala]

So far Lori only has two comments on this entry. She doesn't allow a lot of comments to be posted. But I think she has lost some fans because at one point she was getting over 10 or more comments agreeing with on the topics of submissiveness and gender roles. Lately, she is getting less than 10 comments on some of those entries. I have checked out some of the other bloggers who comment and most of them are fundie. There is one woman who commented on Lori's blog. I checked out her blog and she is more of a mainstream type Christian. I don't see her sticking around on Lori's blog because that blogger will realize that she and her family don't fit into Lori's picture of the "good Christian family".

I am very curious as to how many comments Lori has had to delete from this post (and others). I am betting "a shit ton" might be an accurate assumption.

[lilwriter85]

I am very curious as to how many comments Lori has had to delete from this post (and others). I am betting "a shit ton" might be an accurate assumption.

She probably does a delete a shit ton of comments. In the past, she has cherry picked a few blog entries in which she allowed a lot of comments disagreeing with her to be posted. If you look the comments section for these postings on college and women and stay at home dads, there were several comments that disagreed with her that were posted. lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/12/stay-at-home-dads.html lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/01/girls-going-to-college.html

But I think her motives for allowing those comment to be posted was just so she could look "godly" compared to the "ebil feminists" and the "unmanly" stay at home dads. I have gotten the feeling that Lori has lost some fans lately. My guess is that the force feeding blog entry and other entries about gender roles have turned people off. I know a lot of mainstream Christians, both men and women who would be disgusted with Lori's blog.

[Claddagh]

Gnegirl, please accept my condolences for your tragic loss. :(

Lori's bad "advice" has made me headdesk many a time but she has never made me break out this....until now.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Surprise, surprise - my comment has not been posted.

Her next blog entry is all about women being the "weaker vessel" and needing to be protected. Does she ever check her blog for internal logic? How do you claim that women are weaker and need protection, while also arguing that they should stay with an abusive husband? Does it occur to these people that maybe, just maybe, abusive partners and multiple pregnancies pose a greater risk to women than opening doors or walking on the curb side of the sidewalk?

I'm also trying to wrap my head around the lack of internal logic in the whooping cough vaccine thread. Let's see: whooping cough kills babies, but making a vaccine mandatory is a violation of freedom. Banning abortion, though, is totally NOT a violation of personal freedom by the government. Apparently, babies' lives cease to matter upon birth.

[Arete]

Surprise, surprise - my comment has not been posted.

Her next blog entry is all about women being the "weaker vessel" and needing to be protected. Does she ever check her blog for internal logic? How do you claim that women are weaker and need protection, while also arguing that they should stay with an abusive husband? Does it occur to these people that maybe, just maybe, abusive partners and multiple pregnancies pose a greater risk to women than opening doors or walking on the curb side of the sidewalk?

I'm also trying to wrap my head around the lack of internal logic in the whooping cough vaccine thread. Let's see: whooping cough kills babies, but making a vaccine mandatory is a violation of freedom. Banning abortion, though, is totally NOT a violation of personal freedom by the government. Apparently, babies' lives cease to matter upon birth.

No internal logic end run is neccessary. For them, life begins at conception and ends at birth.

[gibbsgirls]

I posted a comment about my friend who is now dead from the hands of a husband that she was "loving and respecting" and about the children that are now motherless and traumatized. After I submitted it there was a note that stated it would have to be approved by the moderator before posting. I bet it won't see the light of day. Lori is a cunt.

[Koala]

For them, life begins at conception and ends at birth.

QFT

[fakepigtails73]

My older sister was killed by her abusive husband. Submitting to him would not have done a thing, he was a violent psychopath who liked to get drunk or high, and then would beat her up for fun. He did it a few times in front of me when I was a kid myself and our parents were out of the house and my sister was staying with us. I never knew anyone could be that heartless of a person.

When she was finally in a position to get away from this a**hole, he amped up the violence until the inevitable result.

He ended up in prison, eventually dying of AIDS.

I'm so sorry...

[FeministShrew]

I'm a survivor of domestic violence. When I was 20 I married a fundie man 10 years older than me. This good Christian man controlled me, isolated me, belittled me, beat me, raped me, stabbed me in the leg, chased me with loaded guns twice (once with a rifle, once with a shotgun), threatened to kill my dog & burn my possessions if I tried to leave, and threatened to kill me & throw my body in a well where I'd never be found. I worked, made more money than him, & he took every penny, giving me an allowance (enough to buy gas & lunch, never enough to escape. He made me account for every penny). I was never allowed to go anywhere alone except to work, & he eventually started taking me & picking me up. I was terrified of him.

It was never his fault. I caused it (according to him) by sighing, rolling my eyes, bringing something into the house without letting him inspect it first - a thousand & one rules, & I broke every one of them over & over.

I believed divorce was a sin & marriage was forever, & I tried so hard to keep sweet & not provoke him. I prayed, read the Bible, & listened only to Christian music. I read James Dobson's Love Must Be Tough, tried his recommendations & got the beating of my life for my trouble.

I prayed for God to change him, then I prayed for God to kill me to get me out of the hell I was in & to keep me from the sin of divorce, then I started praying for God to kill him. Twice he was in bad accidents at work & barely missed being killed. It felt like God was mocking me.

He told me to leave once, & I went to my mom's. After a week he decided he wasn't quite finished with me, & showed up with her when she picked me up from work. He had her (& everyone else) completely fooled & she talked me into going back to him. She paid for marriage counseling. He lied to the counselor & forced me to lie, hiding the abuse & portraying me as a rebellious, unsatisfied nagging wife.

The end finally came when I broke down & told the counselor everything. I thought ex1 was going to kill me. He called my mom & told her to come get me, then threw my clothes out into the yard. I had to call for a deputy to be present when I went abck to get the rest of my stuff & my dog.

I still have nightmares about him, & the few times I've seen him (from a distance) around town I've had anxiety attacks.

Lori makes me sick. Praying doesn't work. Submitting doesn't work. Getting out works.

[clarinetpower]

Her latest post is about the evil liberals who want to have her children vaccinated, and includes a photo from the View (she detests Joy Behar).

She took it from instinctmagazine.com. In case you aren't aware, it's a gay mag. In fact, she didn't even download it and put it on her own server--she linked right to it.

I am totally telling on her.

[Sola]

Her latest post is about the evil liberals who want to have her children vaccinated, and includes a photo from the View (she detests Joy Behar).

She took it from instinctmagazine.com. In case you aren't aware, it's a gay mag. In fact, she didn't even download it and put it on her own server--she linked right to it.

I am totally telling on her.

Doooooo eeeet!

[lilwriter85]

To gnegirl, I'm sorry about your sister and to FeministShrew, I'm sorry what you went through.

[synchroswimr]

FeministShrew, I am sorry. I wish people like Lori would listen to your story

[lilwriter85]

I just read Lori's latest entry. She is a fucking cunt and she is in the ranks of ZsuZsu and The Stinking Housewife.

from her the blog

I do predict our government will get bigger and more powerful. Too many people in our country want a big government to take care of them, ie. housing, food, education, health care, etc. There was one time in our country people didn't want to accept anything from anybody that they had not worked hard for. Now more and more people feel entitled to get many things for free.

Lori, I think a lot of people do their best to support themselves, but sometimes they need help. You are fucking cunt to be against people needing help for healthcare and education. How the fuck do expect a lot of people to become doctors, nurses, engineers, and other professions if they don't have access to pell grants or other resources?

[Letgo]

GeoBQn wrote:

Yes! WHEN will people stop thinking that abuse is all about anger? That enough submission and sweetness can curb it? Yes, abusers can be angry, but an anger problem is not the reason for abuse. Abuse is about control, power, and a having a twisted set of values. An abuser thinks it is okay to abuse because the victim deserved it or made him do it. Lori-and everyone-needs to read Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft.

This book has been mentioned before on FJ and I can't recommend it enough.

I had a family member who had an abusive boyfriend. Being at his beck and call, never arguing, following his orders, agreeing with him, callling and texting at all hours of the day or night, always being available, constant attention, dropping outside friends and interests, being sweet, none of that worked. He was still angry, mean, threatening, abusive. When family intervened and ended the relationship, he threatened the parents and it took months for him to move on to someone else. And guess what? He treated the next girl friend the exact same way. Was she also not submissive enough? Victims are not the cause of abuse!

So very sorry about what happened, gnegirl. My sympathy to your family.

[shesinsane]

There was one time in our country people didn't want to accept anything from anybody that they had not worked hard for.

I guess those pictures from the 1930s of people standing in soup lines are all from old movies? I'm pretty sure there's always been charitable organizations in this country (and in the colonies before that), which means there's always been people ready to accept anything from anybody that they had not worked for.

:doh: Wait, why I am expecting a fundie to know basic history?

[Austin]

I'm a survivor of domestic violence. When I was 20 I married a fundie man 10 years older than me. This good Christian man controlled me, isolated me, belittled me, beat me, raped me, stabbed me in the leg, chased me with loaded guns twice (once with a rifle, once with a shotgun), threatened to kill my dog & burn my possessions if I tried to leave, and threatened to kill me & throw my body in a well where I'd never be found. I worked, made more money than him, & he took every penny, giving me an allowance (enough to buy gas & lunch, never enough to escape. He made me account for every penny). I was never allowed to go anywhere alone except to work, & he eventually started taking me & picking me up. I was terrified of him.

It was never his fault. I caused it (according to him) by sighing, rolling my eyes, bringing something into the house without letting him inspect it first - a thousand & one rules, & I broke every one of them over & over.

I believed divorce was a sin & marriage was forever, & I tried so hard to keep sweet & not provoke him. I prayed, read the Bible, & listened only to Christian music. I read James Dobson's Love Must Be Tough, tried his recommendations & got the beating of my life for my trouble.

I prayed for God to change him, then I prayed for God to kill me to get me out of the hell I was in & to keep me from the sin of divorce, then I started praying for God to kill him. Twice he was in bad accidents at work & barely missed being killed. It felt like God was mocking me.

He told me to leave once, & I went to my mom's. After a week he decided he wasn't quite finished with me, & showed up with her when she picked me up from work. He had her (& everyone else) completely fooled & she talked me into going back to him. She paid for marriage counseling. He lied to the counselor & forced me to lie, hiding the abuse & portraying me as a rebellious, unsatisfied nagging wife.

The end finally came when I broke down & told the counselor everything. I thought ex1 was going to kill me. He called my mom & told her to come get me, then threw my clothes out into the yard. I had to call for a deputy to be present when I went abck to get the rest of my stuff & my dog.

I still have nightmares about him, & the few times I've seen him (from a distance) around town I've had anxiety attacks.

Lori makes me sick. Praying doesn't work. Submitting doesn't work. Getting out works.

I am so sorry for all you went through and very glad you made it out. Your wisdom is hard-won and I wish these fundies would pay attention.

[MuseMama]

I got lost on her abortion post. No, Lori, I wouldn't tell anyone to abort. But you would love to tell me I can't, even if I've been raped or might die. It's so easy to slam the other side of the argument when you completely misrepresent what they believe. :roll:

[emmyfair]

If my mother had stayed with my father, he would have killed her, my brother, and I. We would not be here. The last night we finally got out, I don't know how any of us lived through it, but we did - and then we spent six months on the run living in hotel rooms until we were finally assured we were safe. I've spent most of my life looking over my shoulder, and I am still so afraid of him, even though now he's in a wheelchair.

Lori, I hope you pay for the bullshit you spew, I really do. You're spreading evil and pain, there is no excuse.

[Buggaboo]

Is it possible to pay honor, like toll or taxes, to a cruel, abusive, unbelieving man? If everything in her recoils from her husband's injustice or hatred? If she fears suffering or other frightening consequences?

The grace of God has proved through the centuries to be sufficient for countless 'impossible' human circumstances. She may, through that grace, pay honor and respect to him as to the Lord, certain as although it is unmerited by and apparently lost on her husband, it is not lost on Christ

These people. They pay so much attention to the words in the book. They have so much disregard for any interpretation that threatens the house of cards they have built up around themselves. They are so short sighted, so lacking in common sense. They are so dependent, so rigid, so closed minded. They spend their lives worshiping to their God, in a way that no merciful God could possibly want.

They can't see the forest of life for the trees of their dogma.

If I were "GOD" I would be so pissed that these people were wasting their lives and their children's lives. I would be so pissed, that instead of stopping to just BE, and to smell the flowers, and to experience others and explore their senses, they label everything around them as evil and seal themselves away in a dull, repressed world of self inflicted misery. I would be enraged that a person chose to stay in an abusive relationship because they thought it pleased me, and I would be beyond enraged if that person stayed because some self proclaimed oracle of fundie-dumb told her she should.

And I would strike Lori dead on the spot with the biggest bolt of lightening you've ever seen. Pardon me but I've been really good in this post and I can't hold it in much longer. I know some of you don't care for the C word so......option A (G Rated).....Lori is a really, really bad person who, I truly believe, is in for an unpleasant surprise when she dies and finds out she didn't know it all after all. Because nobody can know it all. Not even fundies.

Or

Lori is: (alternate version)

a stupid fucking cunt. :evil:

[FeministShrew]

I am so sorry for all you went through and very glad you made it out. Your wisdom is hard-won and I wish these fundies would pay attention.

Thanks. They won't listen, though. Before my second divorce, when I still lived in lite fundieland, at least two of my friends were being abused. Neither would leave her husband. One called me late at night crying because her husband hit her & knocked her down in front of their kids. I picked her up & took her to talk to our preacher's wife. Big mistake. After about 30 minutes she asked me to take her home. The preacher's wife told her not to discuss her marriage with me, because since I'd already been divorced once I was not qualified to give her advice, & would only encourage her to leave her husband. Preacher's wife told her that she wasn't being submissive enough, and she was putting her kids before her husband. She was supposed to apologize to him, praise him publicly & privately, pray to be a better wife, & not tell anyone if he hit her again because that might embarrass him. :evil: She's still with him 10 years later, posts on FB what a loving, wonderful Christian husband she has.

[Guest Anonymous]

FeministShrew, your stories (about both you and your friend) are heartbreaking. I am glad that you escaped and that you are in a position to share your experiences with people who will take note and learn from what you had to go through.

[Buggaboo]

not tell anyone if he hit her again because that might embarrass him. :evil:

Because she might embarrass him??? Because she might embarrass him?????

Oooh kay. I was coming back to look at my other post because I'm a huge over thinker and I was thinking maybe I was too harsh in it. But then I read that line from you and realized nothing is too harsh. That makes me sick, honestly.

I'm so sorry for what you went through, and also so relieved that you were able to find a way out, despite being surrounded by people like that. Austin is right, and your wisdom was hard won. :evil: The preacher's wife......she effectively sent that woman back to an abusive home and sentenced not only her, but also her children, to a lifetime of abuse! And that cycle will go on for generations, most likely, because of her thoughtless, brainwashed advice?! And she considers that "Godly", to use their smug little term?! Disgusting.

[FeministShrew]

Because she might embarrass him??? Because she might embarrass him?????

Oooh kay. I was coming back to look at my other post because I'm a huge over thinker and I was thinking maybe I was too harsh in it. But then I read that line from you and realized nothing is too harsh. That makes me sick, honestly.

I'm so sorry for what you went through, and also so relieved that you were able to find a way out, despite being surrounded by people like that. Austin is right, and your wisdom was hard won. :evil: The preacher's wife......she effectively sent that woman back to an abusive home and sentenced not only her, but also her children, to a lifetime of abuse! And that cycle will go on for generations, most likely, because of her thoughtless, brainwashed advice?! And she considers that "Godly", to use their smug little term?! Disgusting.

The scary thing is that it's not even a very fundie church. It's considered pretty liberal. And the preacher's wife lost all my respect that night. I honestly did not expect that out of her. I should have just taken my friend & her kids to a shelter. But PW was someone I respected & admired back then. It shows how much control the church had over me that going to her was my first thought.

She also tells women never to turn their husband away when he wants sex. She told her own daughters that.

I'm glad I left, and glad I kept my kids from going there with their dad. They're old enough now to see through the lies & craziness, & want nothing to do with it. EX2's new wife has already stopped going, but she still sends her kids.

Truth is, I hardly ever talk about EX1 & his abuse. My mom doesn't even know the whole story. Part of it is shame that I let it go on for so long, part is still a fear that he'll hunt me down & kill me for talking. Sounds overly dramatic, but that unreasonable fear is still buried inside of me.

Most people don't seem to understand the absolute power an abuser has over his victim. The few times I've told anyone, the reaction was, why didn't you just leave? I really just don't know. I couldn't leave until he let me go. It's taken me all these years (20 or so) to be able to open up about it. Reading crap advice like Lori's makes me so angry that I want to share what I went through & hopefully help someone else.

Thanks for all the kind words. I don't want the past to define me. It's just a fact that abuse & control are a large part of many fundie & fundie-lite women's lives, mostly because of women like Lori and my former preacher's wife. :evil: