Yet another homeschooling mom with unemployed husband

[Daisy]

I'm reading her birth story on one of her old blogs

And I will pause a moment to share....

I thought this delivery was going to kill me....or the baby...or both....Now, I am NOT trying to be mellow-dramatic...or have a FRIGHTENING tale of death defying proportions...because I will be the first to tell you, there was a time with each child that a thought wondered through my brain of...'what if I don't make it'....With this baby it started almost from the beginning...first, we couldn't locate the heartbeat, then we didn't feel movement..for a LONG time we didn't feel her...Then my anemic state was a problem...then the iron level in my blood picked up...and we found out...at about 36 weeks...she was breech....

With all that going on, thinking the delivery might kill her or the baby, she planned a homebirth.

apotlucklife.blogspot.com/

[ElphabaGalinda]

I'm reading her birth story on one of her old blogs

With all that going on, thinking the delivery might kill her or the baby, she planned a homebirth.

apotlucklife.blogspot.com/

Wow...she seemed to have a martyr thing going on even then. Reading through that post it's like she's trying to emphasize how perfect and Godly she is by sticking to the home birth even if it killed her. It's like she takes pride in the fact that her or or her baby could have died. I'm glad it didn't turn out that way, but it could have, and she seemed like it didn't matter to her if it did, as long as she was doing things the Godly way. This seems similar to her attitude about her husband's unemployment....that she would stick to her Godly way of doing things even if it made her children suffer.

[desertvixen]

From the apotlucklife blog (which is apparently is specifically one she kept while she was pregnant), she talks about more money issues:

In short....Aaron wasn't getting much work during a wintry-slow season..and we HAD to eat...so we dipped into an overdraft protection account...for those who don't know..it works just like a little credit card...and things went on swimmingly...I purchase not a lot of frivolous things...but I bought...LOTS of groceries...That is really what put us under....I didn't follow a budgeted meal plan...I bought what tasted nice, with all the trimmings...and MORE...it was tasty living....but as the sweetness of what went in my mouth...it became bitterness in the belly...and I was very sad...and the look in Aaron's face as he browsed statements...and tried his hardest to make more out of just wasn't there....we both cried as we realized....We JUST ain't rich...and we needed to stop pretending we were...

This is from January 2011, and I would feel bad for her if a few paragraphs later she goes on to talk about how we don't really know what poor is, and goes off on a little bit of a missionary rant.

[Guest Anonymous]

OMG! What does she think ellipses are for?

[Distant Lines]

I think it's "depends on the family" kind of situation. For some families, it may make more sense to Mom to continue to stay home so their husband can job hunt and deal with interviews without having to juggle the children's routine at home, but that's supposing that the unemployed spouse is actually actively job hunting.

The last time my husband was unemployed, I didn't rush to get a job for that very reason. My husband was getting at least one interview or phone interview a week, and I didn't want him to have to schedule those interviews around our kids school schedules or have to hope that our 2 year old was napping, but we also had some savings and husband was getting unemployment so we weren't living off the charity of others... and my husband landed a job within 2 months of losing the previous one.

That said, if I was living off the charity of others, I wouldn't have been whining about the food I was getting... that whole beggars can't be choosers thing.

I can definitely understand it in a situation like that, and I'm assuming your husband wasn't fired. I probably should have stated this, but since she said he was let go, I think that would mean it would be harder for him to find a job depending upon why he was fired. Granted, she's not going to have job history, but she won't have a former employer that could possibly say something to keep her from getting the job like her husband.

[LaydNimue]

Darn, she went private now. How'd she find out?

[slickcat79]

I'm reading her birth story on one of her old blogs

With all that going on, thinking the delivery might kill her or the baby, she planned a homebirth.

apotlucklife.blogspot.com/

Mellow-dramatic? A thought wondered? :doh: It's one thing if you make typos or even can't spell very well, but FFS you should know the words "melodramatic" and "wandered" before you try using them. Forget homeschooling, does she even read?

Plus, planning a homebirth when you already have reason to believe you're high risk is monstrously stupid.

[SpeakNow]

Mellow-dramatic? A thought wondered? :doh: It's one thing if you make typos or even can't spell very well, but FFS you should know the words "melodramatic" and "wandered" before you try using them. Forget homeschooling, does she even read?

Plus, planning a homebirth when you already have reason to believe you're high risk is monstrously stupid.

I get the feeling like planning how a birth will go is just another way for fundies to exert their control over their offspring. (Disclaimer: I don't have children and have never been pregnant). My friends who are having babies have all had birth plans (hospital vs home, whether or not to use anesthesia etc) but they change their plans based on what's best for baby and mom. Fundies seem to have this attitude of "You will be born how I want you to be born even if it kills you. Obey your mother's wishes damnit!"

[bea]

Overdraft protection is not like a credit card. Not even a little.

She sounds like she doesn't have the first clue about how money works.

[bea]

Also, following her Blogger profile to the Adams Family blog (theadamsrib.blogspot.com), the family picture has the little girls in these dresses....that MUST be curtain fabric. It has to be.

[YPestis]

I've often wondered what fundies do when their husbands lose their jobs. Our society offers opportunities for women to work, for men and women to seek out education and retraining, and for families to acquire financial assistance. Fundies seem opposed to all these things. They seem to have this fantasy that neighbors and church goers will just donate enough to provide for whatever needs they may have. I think we all know many times, charity is only a small patch on the problem of long term unemployment.

[Sinister Rouge]

From theadamsrib.blogspot.com blog: "Penny being born breech had two major factors from the nay-sayers.... In my research the risk I was taking with her was A- By no fault of my own, but by the mere fact that she WAS indeed breech.. her walking would be hampered. B- That because of the compression of the head being reversed in the birth canal, she may have mental issues"

So she just casually acknowledges that she knew her baby might suffer long term developmental and physical delays if she had a breech vaginal birth at home, but hey, she's not gonna let some "nay-sayers" rain on her fundie birth parade! She's just so freaking flippant about it. Then again, this is a woman who can't spell "tornado" and appears to write at a fourth grade level, so my first thought is that she is below-average intelligence herself.

[BlondeAgent007]

Also, following her Blogger profile to the Adams Family blog (theadamsrib.blogspot.com), the family picture has the little girls in these dresses....that MUST be curtain fabric. It has to be.

She must have taken a cue from the Sound of Music. Maybe she used the movie as a history lesson, and creating curtain dresses as the geometry and measurement curriculum? I wonder if her children think that during WWII people sang and danced their way out of imprisonment and into the mountains.

[rock_girl]

Now I feel bad. I've just bought a whole bunch of fabric from Ikea because the cotton is a great weight, reasonably priced, and isn't a blend (pretty sure I'd be hellbound for that one). Some day I'll walk into a friend's house and they'll say "what a nice skirt" while trying not to laugh or look at their curtains :lol:.

Shame the blog went private. That was some grade a crazy. I seriously cannot understand prioritizing organics above financial security, but I guess that's just the chemicals controlling my brain talking. Why can't fundies just do food properly? Either they're living on ttc and blood pressure meds or they're killing themselves and rationing protein in order to live the organic dream.

[Wolfie]

Shame the blog went private. That was some grade a crazy. I seriously cannot understand prioritizing organics above financial security, but I guess that's just the chemicals controlling my brain talking. Why can't fundies just do food properly? Either they're living on ttc and blood pressure meds or they're killing themselves and rationing protein in order to live the organic dream.

It's not like they can do religion without extremes, so why should food be any different.

But then there are food extremists who aren't fundies too.

[Arete]

Now I feel bad. I've just bought a whole bunch of fabric from Ikea because the cotton is a great weight, reasonably priced, and isn't a blend (pretty sure I'd be hellbound for that one). Some day I'll walk into a friend's house and they'll say "what a nice skirt" while trying not to laugh or look at their curtains :lol:.

Shame the blog went private. That was some grade a crazy. I seriously cannot understand prioritizing organics above financial security, but I guess that's just the chemicals controlling my brain talking. Why can't fundies just do food properly? Either they're living on ttc and blood pressure meds or they're killing themselves and rationing protein in order to live the organic dream.

They could make organic milk a priority for the kids and suck up the conventional produce. But that would require looking at a shade of grey or using their heads to make the best decisions within their budgets, so...no.

[rock_girl]

It's not like they can do religion without extremes, so why should food be any different.

But then there are food extremists who aren't fundies too.

Preach it. I had a seller at the markets insist his olives were the ones I needed to buy because (said in conspiratorial whisper) the other seller uses a blend of canola and olive oils to keep his prices down. At first I thought it was a sales ploy, then I realised he was serious when he would not stop ranting about the evils of canola oil. Then I backed away and went and bought olives preserved in a blend of inferior oils.

Pretty tasty.

[rock_girl]

They could make organic milk a priority for the kids and suck up the conventional produce. But that would require looking at a shade of grey or using their heads to make the best decisions within their budgets, so...no.

That's what I do. I can't justify adding $40+ to my grocery bill to buy organic produce. Especially as I'm partial to out of season cherries flown in from the US. Mmm, pesticide cherries. But I'm not even going organic all the time - just buying dairy from companies that pay farmers a fair price and meat from a farmer who while not organic, is passionate about letting cows do their thing outside with grass and stuff. I'm pretty sure Jesus would prefer the family do the best they can with what they can with their budget than go into hock for organic amaranth.

[Wolfie]

Preach it. I had a seller at the markets insist his olives were the ones I needed to buy because (said in conspiratorial whisper) the other seller uses a blend of canola and olive oils to keep his prices down. At first I thought it was a sales ploy, then I realised he was serious when he would not stop ranting about the evils of canola oil. Then I backed away and went and bought olives preserved in a blend of inferior oils.

Pretty tasty.

Oh yeah, I've heard similar here. Weston A. Price is making big inroads in this area,

My theory on the people who suddenly feel better when eating a "special" diet is that they haven't really been thinking about what they've been eating anyway, so when they do start planning and eating balanced, they suddenly DO feel better. And for some it just replaces other addictions to control their diet. (And sometimes that control means restrictions and back to not so good health again.)

[AmyP]

Oh yeah, I've heard similar here. Weston A. Price is making big inroads in this area,

My theory on the people who suddenly feel better when eating a "special" diet is that they haven't really been thinking about what they've been eating anyway, so when they do start planning and eating balanced, they suddenly DO feel better. And for some it just replaces other addictions to control their diet. (And sometimes that control means restrictions and back to not so good health again.)

I agree. I freely admit that I feel better when I eat lo-carb. But I really think that when I am not on the lo carb diet I pay no attention to the fact that I eat far more starches than are reasonable, candy and desserts, and I don't get enough protein and veggies. When I eat lo carb my diet is suddenly all protein and veggies. Of course I feel better!

[ExCatholic]

Did she lock all the blogs? Sad, but probably for the best. The post on her old blog where she talked about crying in the shower so the kids didn't hear made me so sad for her. If her headship was an evil man I could see her ending up like poor Teri. At least he seems to care when she is sad instead of ordering her past it.

[bananacat]

There's such a double standard when people say the wife shouldn't look for a job so the husband doesn't have to be bothered with kids while looking for a new job. If it were the other way around, most of you wouldn't say the same thing. I've seen this in my own family when my brother and sister-in-law were alternately unemployed. When she lost her job, they took the niece out of daycare to save money. Eventually she found a job and then later my brother lost his job. By this time they had two kids, and they kept them both in expensive daycare so he could focus on the job search more. She managed to find a job while caring for their children, but he couldn't?

In a situation like this, where neither parent is employed, BOTH of them look as hard as they can and whoever gets a job first takes it. If that means the other one has to spend a little longer taking care of their children, then so be it.

[lilwriter85]

There's such a double standard when people say the wife shouldn't look for a job so the husband doesn't have to be bothered with kids while looking for a new job. If it were the other way around, most of you wouldn't say the same thing. I've seen this in my own family when my brother and sister-in-law were alternately unemployed. When she lost her job, they took the niece out of daycare to save money. Eventually she found a job and then later my brother lost his job. By this time they had two kids, and they kept them both in expensive daycare so he could focus on the job search more. She managed to find a job while caring for their children, but he couldn't?

In a situation like this, where neither parent is employed, BOTH of them look as hard as they can and whoever gets a job first takes it. If that means the other one has to spend a little longer taking care of their children, then so be it.

I think would be the best way to approach the situation. I think with this family, the wife should have been thinking about looking for a job along side her husband. From the blog, I got the feeling that the idea of her possibly looking for work wasn't an option.

[fakepigtails73]

thefireddiary.wordpress.com

Warning: High use of "........." in between words, clauses, phrases, and sentences.

Basically, mom homeschools six kids and is living off the charity of others while her husband is unemployed. Husband caused "an incident" at work and lost his job; however, he also is pastor of a small church which does not pay him and they are living off of donations from the congregation now. It has not occurred to mom that God might want her to look for work, too.

At first glance I thought you were talking about Steve Anderson, aka "Pissing Preacher" and his lovely Teutonic wife Zsuzana, aka ZuZu. Almost a mirror image! :think:

[desertvixen]

At first glance I thought you were talking about Steve Anderson, aka "Pissing Preacher" and his lovely Teutonic wife Zsuzana, aka ZuZu. Almost a mirror image!

I don't read Zsu all that often, but my understanding is that she has mastered the basics of writing.