The Lesbians Next Door

[Sumeri]

Anyone been following the Stinking Housewife lately? She seems to have an inordinate amount of readers with lesbian neighbors these days:

thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2012/07/the-lesbians-next-door/

and not just lesbians...tatooed lesbians! Big, butch intimidating lesbians! The comments would be pretty snarkworthy if they weren't so hateful. One eye-rolling one advocates putting a lovely statue of the virgin, surrounded by pink flowers, so that the poor misinformed children of teh gays will at least see Mary!

Make sure to read all the way down to the last comment, though -- there is at least one sane person reading there.

[MonkeyMomma]

Some asshole homophobe wrote:

Almost certainly the lesbians will raise their children actively to detest Christians and Christianity.

This will be shocking news to all those churchgoing, child-baptizing lesbians I know.

The same asshole later writes:

I think it is right to instruct your children to avoid the children of unsuitable adults.

Thanks for the tip. Children, stay away from the offspring of asshole homophobes. I don't want them teaching you unsavory, hateful, and just plain tacky behaviors.

[mirele]

If I had kids, I'd rather they made friends with the nice lesbians down the street than the obnoxious fundies next door, just on general principles. I think lesbians are better equipped to handle the future than the fundies.

[blisterine]

this line "One has the gall to continue going to our church like it is perfectly fine" kills me. it is perfectly fine, dumbass! even if you don't agree with their lifestyle, didn't jesus hang with prostitutes and tax collectors? the fact that the lesbian goes to church should make her jump for joy.

hopefully her next neighbor will be a leering drunkard nudist who plays rock music loudly all night and sacrifices goats. it might make her appreciate the church-going lesbian with a nearly bald tattooed head.

she should be proud that the lesbian couple feel her children are appropriate playmates.

[TinyDancer87]

Why do all the comments sound like robots? No compassion or feeling other than regurgetated bigotry.

If I were in her position, this is what I would say: “I find your tattooes repulsive and disgusting. It makes me feel sick to look at them. You chose to disfigure your body, so that every time other people saw you, they would be forced to look at the frightening sight of your disfigured body. So not only are you repulsive to look at, but, since you did this through your own choice, you obviously haven’t the slightest consideration for other people. Why then should other people have any consideration for you? You are not welcome in my home, and I do not want my children to play with yours.â€

Oh yes, Jesus may have dined with the tax collectors and prostitutes, but NEVER anyone with tattoos!

A simple “you are not welcome in my home†to the lesbians is sufficient — or, just repeatedly say “I’m sorry, we’re busy at the moment†until they get the message. Jennifer can simply tell her children, “You are not to play with her.†If her children ask why, “because I say so!†is always a valid response.

Worst parenting advice EVER. "Because I say so!" is a horrible response when dealing with your moral beliefs. How will the child ever learn anything?

Almost certainly the lesbians will raise their children actively to detest Christians and Christianity.

One has the gall to continue going to our church like it is perfectly fine.

Hmm... They destest Christianity, yet still go to church dispite them not being welcomed by others... makes perfect sense. Surely, these spies are infiltrating the church services to sabotage Christianity!

[lilwriter85]

Those comments are fucked up.

I thought the Mary statue comment was ridiculous.

One thing I did in response to their presence was to put a lovely garden statue of Mary outside, right where they can’t miss it if they look at my apartment. I planted pink flowers around it. I thought it might be one of the few statues of Mary the little girl will ever see.

Jennifer you are fucking idiot. A lot of children might only one see Mary statue once or twice in their lives because not everyone is Catholic. They are plenty of children of straight Protestant parents who never see Mary statues. Oh yes a Mary statue is going to repel the lesbians and their daughter. It won't. I was raised Catholic and am now an atheist. During my Catholic days, if I hung religious statues or other items it was for me not for anyone else. My parents are devout Catholics and guess what they accept gay and lesbians and they even support marriage equality. My parents would never put up a Mary statue just so a same sex couple and their child could see it. They would view that hateful and misusing a religious icon. FUCK YOU JENNIFER.

[NjoyingNsanity]

This kind of stupid really bothers me, I once lived in a nieghborhood where my lesbian nieghbors next door were the nicest and least troublemaking people in the nieghborhood. I really enjoyed hanging out with them and didn't give a flying flip what anyone else thought even though my once libral dad had just recently gotten saved and became a fundie-lite who was sure the teh gay would rub off on me or something.

It really annoyed the piss out of me that my once free-thinking and easygoing dad became such a narrowminded bigot all of a sudden. Luckily I was out on my own by then so I could legally tell my dad to take his authority and covering bullshit and shove it up the same posterior bodily orifice his head was stuck up. He really hated thr fact that I lived with my boyfriend hung out with my gay buddy from high school and didn't mind giving my lesbian next door nieghbors a ride into town. The height of his stupidity came when he honestly thought that hanging around with my gay guy friend would turn me lesbian.

[Sumeri]

The first time I remember being “introduced†to the concept of homosexuality was in 9th grade when I was taught in school a little bit about the fast growing and mysterious new AIDS epidemic that was affecting mostly gay men in the United States.

The hell did this guy grow up? He was 14, 15 years old before he heard of gay people?

Obviously the town where he lived is of a decent size because he goes on to say

Fast forward to today and I discover that my old high school actually has pro-homosexuality posters put up presumably by the school administration in the school hallways. I went to a community center near my old high school where young children about five years old gather to play in structured activities and I saw a poster reading something like “All children are welcome here,†with a rainbow in the background and the silhouette of two lesbian “mothers†bringing their child to play. Just the other day, I was walking down the street near my area’s downtown and I saw the sight of two presumed lesbians about 20 years old holding hands and laughing nervously about the attention their hand-holding was receiving. Shortly afterward, I saw a poster plastered on a pole with two men kissing as the central theme of the advertisement, the advertisement being for a rock band playing in some kind of music venue nearby.

The horror! All children are welcome here! Rainbows! People kissing!

I'd also like to know how he knows what the young couple was laughing at. Probably him, the miserable douche.

[Witsec7]

The last time I had lesbians next door, they helped me successfully report the abuse of 4 children living with their neo nazi Father and Mother. The kids were successfully removed and placed in the care of a lesbian aunt. Schadenfreude at its best.

[Terrie]

The last time I had lesbians next door, they helped me successfully report the abuse of 4 children living with their neo nazi Father and Mother. The kids were successfully removed and placed in the care of a lesbian aunt. Schadenfreude at its best.

:clap:

[Ralar]

hopefully her next neighbor will be a leering drunkard nudist who plays rock music loudly all night and sacrifices goats. it might make her appreciate the church-going lesbian with a nearly bald tattooed head.

I'd like her next neighbor to be a Santeria priest with a home church!

Santería is a system of beliefs that merges the Yoruba religion (which was brought to the New World by West Africans imported to the Caribbean to forcibly work the sugar plantations) with Roman Catholic and Native American traditions. These Africans carried with them various religious customs, including a trance for communicating with their ancestors and deities, animal sacrifice and sacred drumming. Aside from the use of herbs and divination, the Santeria traditional healing is achieved through rituals that include animal sacrifice, offerings, altar building, music, dance, and possession trance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santer%C3%ADa

When I was in law school, I did a bit of research on the constitutionality of the City of Hialeah's (Florida) zoning laws prohibiting animal sacrifices within the city's limits. The church claimed the city was restricting free speech and religious practice. The city claimed a public health risk, but the church pointed out that the kosher slaughterhouse was still permitted to operate. They claimed that some unscrupulous people may leave animal carcasses littering the streets, but that was not the church's practice and THAT is what should be regulated. In 1993, the case was heard by the United States Supreme Court in the case of Church of Lukumi Babalu Aye v. City of Hialeah. The court ruled that animal cruelty laws targeted specifically at Yoruba were unconstitutional. The Yoruba practice of animal sacrifice has seen no significant legal challenges since then.

[notacleverpony]

I remember when my mom had this attitude towards gays and lesbians. She'd never go so far as to own up to it publicly, but in private, it was fair game.

Then I came out of the closet and told her about my girlfriend/fiancee. She still has that attitude. >:C

Stinking Lousewife and her Fail Mary Friends should get in a non-injurious but still expensive and inconvenient car accident.

[Terrie]

Stinking Lousewife and her Fail Mary Friends should get in a non-injurious but still expensive and inconvenient car accident.

The kind where you hit a fire hydrant are always pricey. Especially if you damage the fire hydrant.

[NjoyingNsanity]

Oh I would love to have her as a neighbor just think of all the defrauding fun I could have muhahaha! Seriously I would do everything I could think of to make her think I was evil incarnate. I would hang out with the lesbian couple, decorate my yard to the hilt for Halloween, hold Pagan rituals in the backyard, slap a rainbow sticker on my car's bumper right next to the one that says my Karma ran over your Dogma. Oh and I'd put up a large statue too a nude one, some copy of a classical work of art so her compliants would be met with a WTF by city officials.

[Sumeri]

Why do all the comments sound like robots? No compassion or feeling other than regurgetated bigotry.

I think it was Lawrence Auster (or Laura Wood, whichevs) who posted that gem.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

The lesbians living downstairs from me in my old apt. complex used to babysit my dog and give him cheese. I'd much rather live next to a hoard or lesbians then a family of fundies.

[Terrie]

Commenter Alissa gave this "lovely" gem of wisdom:

I’d wager that this predictament will become less common in the future if liberals don’t do everything in their power to “integrate†sexual dysfunction like they do with so-called racial integration (e.g. Section 8 housing). As whitopias have sprung up, we will probably have various distinct communities and this will become a situational thing, e.g. if you live in a community with a lot of religious people you will have marriage, children and whatnot, if you have a lot of liberals it means more unchaste singles, more LGBTQIPs, more non-monogamy, if its a lot of seculars that means more atheists and less babies and other stuff. I think this is already happening. People are moving in with people who have their own values and are like them. The only way you can have a traditional religious Catholic family and a pair of lesbians on the same block is if you do the LGBTQIP version of section 8 housing and move them around to influence your kids. A lot can be said about the state of mainstream Christianity but here’s one of the things they got right: homeschooling and the dangers of public education. Hide and protect your kids for now and pass on the word of God.

What. The. FUCK? :shock:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

LOL "whitopia." Gonna have to use that one.

Meanwhile I wonder if "Alissa" knows how many explicitly religious families with 134059102396 kids get Section 8. (Oh but wait many of them aren't Christian...) Still, what's up with "versions" of Section 8? Alissa needs to pull her head out of her nether regions.

[VintageJen1984]

What is the IP in LGBTQIP?

What is she smoking?

So what is she to do about an unchaste Christian bisexual girl? do I not exist?

[FloraDoraDolly]

LOL "whitopia." Gonna have to use that one.

Meanwhile I wonder if "Alissa" knows how many explicitly religious families with 134059102396 kids get Section 8. (Oh but wait many of them aren't Christian...) Still, what's up with "versions" of Section 8? Alissa needs to pull her head out of her nether regions.

"Whitopia" is the name of a book by Rich Benjamin, an African-American who spent a couple of years living in various white upper-middle class enclaves. I checked it out of the library about a year or so ago. I have no idea if Alissa has read the book, but the term whitopia seems to have caught on. It generally refers to those McMansion subdivisions in the boonies where almost everybody is white, although Benjamin's book also describes wealthy, mostly-white sections of Manhattan.

[Guest Anonymous]

What is the IP in LGBTQIP?

What is she smoking?

So what is she to do about an unchaste Christian bisexual girl? do I not exist?

I worried that I was the only one who wondered. Every time I saw it I just thought Q-tip (Yes, yes, it's shameful, I know. I should show more respect for my people).

A random Google search says they stand for 'intersex' and 'proud'.

[rollmeover]

Well, I am intersex and catholic, and my virgin mary statues are for me and my family to enjoy as we love Mary and ask her help. And those mad old bigots would never know that I was a dreaded intersex person because I am a married woman who is observant in my religion. They might even invite me in to take tea with their pure and innocent children playing with my children - imagine the corruption and destruction of religion that would be wrought!

[VintageJen1984]

I worried that I was the only one who wondered. Every time I saw it I just thought Q-tip (Yes, yes, it's shameful, I know. I should show more respect for my people).

A random Google search says they stand for 'intersex' and 'proud'.

Ahh. Now I'm kicking myself. I have done a fair amount of research on the science behind intersexuality. (I thought Q-tip too, lol!) I've heard LGBTQA And now I think of it LGBTQIA. Never heard the Proud before. I guess she didn't include A because asexual fit quite nicely into her little world, they can be sisters, brothers, nuns, monks, and priests.

[Creaky Mom]

If I had kids, I'd rather they made friends with the nice lesbians down the street than the obnoxious fundies next door, just on general principles. I think lesbians are better equipped to handle the future than the fundies.

Ha,ha! One of the Creaky Kids is heading off to college this fall. Creaky Kid had a choice of boarding with a fundy couple with children or a lesbian couple with children. Creaky Kid choose the lesbian household because, "they won't be in my face over everything."

[notacleverpony]

What is the IP in LGBTQIP?

What is she smoking?

So what is she to do about an unchaste Christian bisexual girl? do I not exist?

I'm almost positive it stands for "intersex" (meaning a person with ambiguous genitalia) and "pansexual" (meaning a person attracted to all genders).

As for your existence, I'm pretty sure the Fishwife is pretty good by now at repressing and ignoring obvious facts that don't mesh with her pin-narrow mindset. I think it involved a finger in each ear and the preferred mantra of "LALALALALALA, I CAN'T HEEEEEEAR YOU!"