satin's so bright, i gotta wear shades

[contrary]

a second post on mom and dad's vow renewal, featuring fabrics so synthetic that the flash practically melts them.

hiswayserves-hiswayserves.blogspot.com/

[keen23]

My SIL-to-be is becoming a crazy controlling Bridezilla. I would so want to wear the shiny pink number to her wedding! Mostly because I'm not in the wedding, but she sent me and my SILs (who aren't in the wedding either) a list of colors we can wear for wedding attire so we "fit in" for the "family pictures." Pink is on the list, but Lilac is a no-no because that's what her Mom is wearing. BTW- I'm totally wearing a pewter dress, a color not approved, with 4 inch peep-toe shoes so that I'm taller than just about everyone in the family (husband's family is basically Hobbits, topping out at 5 foot, 6 inches tall).

[SpeshulTaterTot]

Jim-Bob would like the dress, puff sleeves and all.

[ilovetchotchkes]

The bridesmaids dresses are hideous. What makes them 10000x worse is the chiffon peter pan collars on them.

[SunnyAndrsn]

The neckline does nothing for her, being a large woman. A decent bra, and a corset would have done wonders for that unfortunate dress. Don't get me wrong, the dress choice would remain unfortunate, but the lack of decent undergarments with any sort of formal wear drives me crazy.

[Athena]

They all seem totally unaware of how dumb they look; which leads me to believe that they are as dumb as they look and I honestly feel badly snarking on somebody this dumb. I think it's time to put the bible down and pick up a newspaper or fashion magazine at least! I think they must know enough about the bible by now and it's time to diversify their interests. At least since they are unaware of their own lameness they can't be bothered by it...

[ladypuglover]

I'm not going to snark on them, they're just too unfortunate to. Kind like shooting fish in a barrel and sadly those dresses are probably the nicest/fashionable they have ever owned. Those girls give me a huge sad knowing that with all the waiting SAHDs wait for prince Charming that they will most likely get picked last. :(

[memmy]

take a closer look at pic#6 from the bottom...

there is a lady behind the newly-re-wed taking a picture!

pic with caption: After that, we went to Stefanina's with Aunt Jean, Jeremy, & Leona.

[simplysweet]

I have no idea where to begin!? The satin, the colors, the flippin patterns......the flowers. There is modesty and then there is just poor taste. At least they looked happy and seemed to enjoy it but seriously - if anyone I know asked me to be a bridesmaid and that was the dress. I would cry and run away.

Ilovetchotchkes - I liked them - it took my eyes away from the weird length sleeves and all the puffiness.......There is so much poof in this entry.

[contrary]

and the leg-o-mutton sleeves really just aren't doing a thing for momma.

[BayLee_10]

This seems to prove a person can be happy despite unfortunate choices. What not to wear!

[contrary]

there is one photo of the writer (i forget her name..hannah?) looking over her shoulder that is kinda pretty.

[easternabeille]

I still feel bad that they paid someone for those updos!

[synchroswimr]

I still feel bad that they paid someone for those updos!

I think they had a friend do them for free. So at least there's that.......

[Guest Anonymous]

I know this is shallow, but I want Tim Gunn, an unlimited budget, all of those women, and at least ten FJers. We're going to the mall and the salon. You don't have to look like shiny, frumpy, trainwrecks of fashion-fail!

If they had good haircuts and some modern modest outfits, it would be so much better. And Tim would make it all better without hurting their feelings. As long as they didn't tell him he's going to hell, anyway.

Maybe they truly like that stuff and DGAF, but it makes me sad.

[FJismyheadship]

I'm sorry, but is anybody else reading the word "satin" as "Satan" by accident? Just me?

[ADoyle90815]

I'm sorry, but is anybody else reading the word "satin" as "Satan" by accident? Just me?

I admit I did, since there have been times when some fundy used the word "satin" instead of "Satan" online.

[Guest Anonymous]

there is one photo of the writer (i forget her name..hannah?) looking over her shoulder that is kinda pretty.

Rebecca - the one where she says she was still feeling emotional - I thought that photo was pretty too.

The rest of it just seems bizarre. Especially snarkworthy that her father's terrible book was used as a basis for the speeches.

[Jezebel]

They all seem totally unaware of how dumb they look; which leads me to believe that they are as dumb as they look and I honestly feel badly snarking on somebody this dumb.

My grandmother, who grew up on a farm in the Midwest, used the word "simple" to describe folks like this (and she didn't use it as an insult). It meant somebody who wasn't all that bright, who didn't have much of an education, and who was very naive and unworldly because they hadn't been exposed to much beyond their family and local community. They got jobs and fell in love and had kids and raised families and did a pretty decent job of those things, and were generally considered good, solid people. But they approached everything from a very narrow worldview and set of experiences, and had no use for new ideas or ways of doing things unless it had an immediate practical benefit.

So I look at this family, and "simple" is the word that comes to my mind. And I can't snark on them because they aren't trying to be anything they're not. Do I think the bridesmaids' dresses are gross and tacky and made of horrid fabric, and the mother's wedding dress is unflattering? Sure. But in their world, within their experience, these things are beautiful. They're obviously happy to be wearing them. And since it's a family celebration, not a heavy public statement to all of Christendom about the true meaning and purpose of marriage (a la Botkins), I can't really pick on these simple people for having simple tastes. They look happy, and that makes me happy for them, even though I wouldn't want that life for myself.

My SIL-to-be is becoming a crazy controlling Bridezilla. I would so want to wear the shiny pink number to her wedding! Mostly because I'm not in the wedding, but she sent me and my SILs (who aren't in the wedding either) a list of colors we can wear for wedding attire so we "fit in" for the "family pictures."

I've seen this sort of thing a lot, especially in the last 10 years, and frankly? That's just fucking rude. Specifying the level of formality on a wedding invitation is one thing, but demanding that guests only wear certain approved colors for the sake of photos is another. I won't wear a shocking color calculated to clash with everything on the list, but I'm not going to buy or sew another dress for Bridezilla's Special Day. The last time I dealt with this, the colors on the approved list leaned toward gray, taupe, blue, burgundy, lavender, mauve, and pink--all colors that look horrid on me. The mothers were wearing pale yellow and sage green. I wore a deeper bronze/olive green--it was either that, or tangerine. Nobody said anything, and the wedding pictures were not ruined. Hooray. :?

BTW- I'm totally wearing a pewter dress, a color not approved, with 4 inch peep-toe shoes so that I'm taller than just about everyone in the family (husband's family is basically Hobbits, topping out at 5 foot, 6 inches tall).

I can't see pewter being a problem. It might not be what the women are supposed to be wearing, but there will be men in gray or dark blue suits, so from a photographic POV it will blend right in. I can't help but LOL at the heels, though! :lol:

[Constance Vigilance]

Lol, Paul Hunt's beard. Why, Paul, why.

[terranova]

Why is everyone else at the wedding reasonably nicely dressed and the "bride" and her daughters look soooooo bad? Poor girls.

[SpeshulTaterTot]

The dress is her actual wedding dress from 1989. The 80's were terrible, it explains a lot.

[simplysweet]

Lol, Paul Hunt's beard. Why, Paul, why.

Because he is a MAN! A manly man who get all the wimmins!

8-)

[MerryHappy]

That just made me sad.

[Red Molly]

Those are some massively unflattering dresses. I am certainly no fashion plate but geez. The hair do, the dress, the flowers are all conspiring to make ordinary looking people look horrid.