Little Adolf Hitler's Parents Lose Custody of Newborn

[LilMissMetaphor]

Monroe and Moroccan...

"Hi, I'm Moroccan."

"Cool! I'm from Italy..."

[Kate]

Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva Thin Muffin (Frank Zappa)

Apple (Gweneth Paltrow)

Suri Cruise

Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper Beckham

Kal-El (Nicholas Cage)

Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)

Fifi Trixiebelle (Bob Geldorf)

Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)

Kyd (Tea Leoni)

Memphis Eve (Bono)

Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)

George, George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, George VI (George Foreman)

And the beat goes on...

This is exactly why I think a registry is a *bad* idea--to me some of these are nice enough names (Surinam, Cruz, Harper, Sage), and several others I could be talked into thinking were ok (Brooklyn, Romeo, Kyd (could be a family surname), Memphis, Jermajesty) or at least I wouldn't consider them abusive. Fifi Trixabelle I think is pretty bad, but both first and middle are actual names.

I just can't see strangers having control over what name I choose for my own child. If I don't agree with Kitten on a short list of names, what chance do I have with a bureaucrat?

ETA: Surinam! Ha, good one, autocorrect!

[keeperrox]

This is exactly why I think a registry is a *bad* idea--to me some of these are nice enough names (Surinam, Cruz, Harper, Sage), and several others I could be talked into thinking were ok (Brooklyn, Romeo, Kyd (could be a family surname), Memphis, Jermajesty) or at least I wouldn't consider them abusive. Fifi Trixabelle I think is pretty bad, but both first and middle are actual names.

I just can't see strangers having control over what name I choose for my own child. If I don't agree with Kitten on a short list of names, what chance do I have with a bureaucrat?

ETA: Surinam! Ha, good one, autocorrect!

Exactly.

[GeoBQn]

My dad once had a student who's real name was Crystal Glass. The girl seemed to be overcompensating for this. She played hockey and her answer to all US History questions was, "Nuke 'em."

Here's an article about a woman from Milwaukee named Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer. She's an advisor at a college, and she hasn't changed her name because she wants to show young people that they can succeed no matter what their backgrounds. (However, when she worked in real estate, she had to go by "M.P. Sawyer" because people would steal the real estate signs with her full name on them.)

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34641678/ ... sxqE3oiiSo

[flojo]

I'm from nz, and yes, for rare, extreme cases, the naming rules apply. I totally agree with rules around blatant cruelty. Yes, a child's rights do absolutely trump a sadistic pants rights to fuck a kid up by naming them something cruel and humiliating.

As an ex nz teacher I can attest that there still are good number of 'speshul snowflake' and 'illiturassy rulz' names floating around, so if you want to ensure your child will have more challenges than average getting a job that requires an education past the third grade (people judge), you are still welcome to. It's only the cases of extreme cruelty that are dealt with in court.

[keeperrox]

Naming a kid Apple, Moxie CrimeFighter, Pilot Inspektor, Jermagesty, Fifi, or Kal-El isn't going to fuck up a kid. Fucked up parents are going to fuck up a kid. Forcing a parent to forgo an "odd" name doesn't mean they aren't going to fuck a kid's life up just the same. Sure, it would be naive to think that all parents will make culturally approved naming choices all the time, getting the government involved, isn't the way to go, IMO. That prohibitive way of governing usually doesn't work out too well.

[muffynbear]

Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva Thin Muffin (Frank Zappa)

Apple (Gweneth Paltrow)

Suri Cruise

Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper Beckham

Kal-El (Nicholas Cage)

Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)

Fifi Trixiebelle (Bob Geldorf)

Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)

Kyd (Tea Leoni)

Memphis Eve (Bono)

Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)

George, George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, George VI (George Foreman)

And the beat goes on...

I know I'm a bit late to the party, but I wanted to chime in. In my profession I've come across some very odd names that made me scratch my head. What were their parents thinking? :think: Here's a list of names that have stuck out in my mind over the years:

* Misty Spray- My personal favourite. I wonder if this was her birth name and if so, WTF were her parents thinking?

* Buddie Bonehead

* Semen- I cringed when I had to speak with him. This was his first name :oops:

* Porn Phan.

* Thomas Thomas (could his parents be any more repetitive?) I've also spoken with a Tom Tompkins and a John Johnson.

* I've also had such gems as "Luv" "Patience" "Gifty" "Bounty" (like the paper towel?) "Princess" "Prince"for first names and funny last names like: "Junk" "Cheeseboro" "Banana" "Drinkwater" "Whynot" "Greenleaf" "Lightbody" etc.

ETA: Bear Grylls, host of Man vs. Wild named two of his sons Marmaduke and Huckleberry.

British Chef Jamie Oliver named his kids: Poppy Honey Rosie Oliver, Daisy Boo Pamela Oliver , Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver and Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver.

[godlytomatosoup]

Why don't more people just name their children good, strong Biblical names?

For example:

Hosea 1:6 "She conceived again and bore a daughter. Then the Lord said to him, 'Name her Lo-ruhamah' [not pitied] for I will no longer have pity on the house of Israel or forgive them.'"

Hosea 1:8-9 "When she had weaned Lo-ruhamah, she conceived and bore a son. Then the Lord said 'Name him Lo-ammi [not my people], for you are not my people, and I am not your God.'"

The subtext there is that Hosea's wife was a 'wife of whoredom', and Hosea is not the children's biological father. So he calls them Unloved and Bastard. Later on God has pity, and renames them.

[Beb]

I kind of go back and forth on it too. However, there are plenty of awful and stupid names out there (as evidenced by many, many bad baby name sites) and where does it stop? Do you remove a kid from the home because they're named Daiquiri?

In order to get a birth certificate in the U.S., must a name pass any sort of scrutiny? For instance, what if some parent decided on N***** as a name for their child? The use of the "N" word is treated almost as if it is a criminal act, and how would this be received as a legal, legitimate name for a child? I think Nazi and Adolf Hitler should be viewed in the same way.

As some have pointed out, it is a form of emotional abuse and may be symbolic and/or indicative of further abuse.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I know I'm a bit late to the party, but I wanted to chime in. In my profession I've come across some very odd names that made me scratch my head. What were their parents thinking? :think: Here's a list of names that have stuck out in my mind over the years:

* Misty Spray- My personal favourite. I wonder if this was her birth name and if so, WTF were her parents thinking?

* Buddie Bonehead

* Semen- I cringed when I had to speak with him. This was his first name :oops:

Was Semen from Eastern Europe, by any chance? The Russian version of Simon is Semen. But it's pronounced Syeh-men.

[godlytomatosoup]

* Porn Phan.

Sounds like a perfectly normal Thai name to me. Lots of Thai people are called Porn.

[lindsey]

You all got me with the Moxie Crimefighter thing, I knew there was someting off about it! Sorry about that.

As some people have already said, I think it really comes down to how distrustful of government a nation as a whole is. My brother was born 15 years ago and I have yet to see the government seize all children at birth to raise them. And there are also zero 1st grade classes with 15 girls named Angela (after our chancellor).

I do think that naming a child certain names is setting them up for failure in life. If the kids make it, it's despite their parents deliberately giving them hardship just for shit and giggles, not because of it. Why does the parents right to name their child whatever they want trump the childs right to not have a deregatory name?

[muffynbear]

Was Semen from Eastern Europe, by any chance? The Russian version of Simon is Semen. But it's pronounced Syeh-men.

I didn't get the impression that Semen was from Eastern Europe (I think maybe he was from the Middle East?). He actually told me to call him "Sam" for short, to my relief.

[CanadianHippie]

Why does the parents right to name their child whatever they want trump the childs right to not have a deregatory name?

I'm wondering about that too. Kids can be cruel, adults can be cruel. Why use your kids to fight that? If you think they should take someone with a derogatory name seriously and want to teach them a lesson, change your own fricken' name, don't make your child fight your battles for you.

[godlytomatosoup]

Kids can be cruel, adults can be cruel. Why use your kids to fight that? If you think they should take someone with a derogatory name seriously and want to teach them a lesson, change your own fricken' name, don't make your child fight your battles for you.

I don't agree with naming children actually derogatory or abusive names, but I don't like this logic either.

I dislike it because I've heard it used against same sex couples who want to raise children. "The kids will get teased or harassed or discriminated against because of their parents. It's fine if you want to participate in that lifestyle, but why make a child fight your battles?"

Besides, are there any documented cases of adults who chose unusual names solely because they want to teach other kids and adults a Very Important Lesson about taking people with unusual names seriously?

[Kate]

Another thing with having government employees to oversee each and every name--Don't we hear enough about government debt and the defect already, do we really need to pay someone to look over every Susan, George, and Shaysta to be there for the 1 time a kid is named Turkey?

Seems like a bit of overkill, really.

[Kelya]

Another thing with having government employees to oversee each and every name--Don't we hear enough about government debt and the defect already, do we really need to pay someone to look over every Susan, George, and Shaysta to be there for the 1 time a kid is named Turkey?

Seems like a bit of overkill, really.

I'm thinking more like nurses and doctors are asked to report to either CPS or some other agency when a child is named "Nigger" or "Adolf Hitler." We're simply too big and not structured enough to have every name submitted to a central agency for clearing...that's the kind of conspiracy thinking that I'll never understand.

Abusive names, not unusual or slightly off ones. Ones that will severely restrict the named in the future- who is going to hire a kid named Adolf Hitler? Especially for low wage summer employment, like bussing tables. "Oh look, we have Sam Smith, Alex Acorn, Jaylya Jones and...Adolf Hitler applying?"

[lindsey]

I don't agree with naming children actually derogatory or abusive names, but I don't like this logic either.

I dislike it because I've heard it used against same sex couples who want to raise children. "The kids will get teased or harassed or discriminated against because of their parents. It's fine if you want to participate in that lifestyle, but why make a child fight your battles?"

Besides, are there any documented cases of adults who chose unusual names solely because they want to teach other kids and adults a Very Important Lesson about taking people with unusual names seriously?

That comparison doesn't hold, IMO.

You don't have to tell people "My company email is "IHaveSameSexParents@companyname.com" but you do have to tell people "My company email is adolph.hitler.smith@companyname.com".

Likewise with hiring people, human resources first look isn't going to be "Does the parents name both seem male / both seem female?". It's going to be "Oh wow, that person is named after a piece of furniture... lets check the others first."

I also doubt that checking a name real quick is going to take up so much time. They have to at least check if the sex and location of birth is correct, so how much longer is one more glance going to take?

[Kelya]

That comparison doesn't hold, IMO.

You don't have to tell people "My company email is "IHaveSameSexParents@companyname.com" but you do have to tell people "My company email is adolph.hitler.smith@companyname.com".

Likewise with hiring people, human resources first look isn't going to be "Does the parents name both seem male / both seem female?". It's going to be "Oh wow, that person is named after a piece of furniture... lets check the others first."

I also doubt that checking a name real quick is going to take up so much time. They have to at least check if the sex and location of birth is correct, so how much longer is one more glance going to take?

Not to mention, sexual orientation is a protected class in several US states and will eventually be protected in all of them. Names aren't a protected class, except where they overlap with other forms of discrimination, such as not hiring people with "ethnic" sounding names. So:

-"We're not hiring you because of your two mommies" is illegal is some states and will eventually be illegal in all.

-"We're not hiring you because your name is "LaShonda" and it sounds black" is illegal, full stop.

-"We're not hiring you because your name is "Kitchen Table" and its weird" is fully legal and even advisable, imo.

[flojo]

That comparison doesn't hold, IMO.

You don't have to tell people "My company email is "IHaveSameSexParents@companyname.com" but you do have to tell people "My company email is adolph.hitler.smith@companyname.com".

Likewise with hiring people, human resources first look isn't going to be "Does the parents name both seem male / both seem female?". It's going to be "Oh wow, that person is named after a piece of furniture... lets check the others first."

I also doubt that checking a name real quick is going to take up so much time. They have to at least check if the sex and location of birth is correct, so how much longer is one more glance going to take?

This.

[Beb]

I'm thinking more like nurses and doctors are asked to report to either CPS or some other agency when a child is named "Nigger" or "Adolf Hitler." We're simply too big and not structured enough to have every name submitted to a central agency for clearing...that's the kind of conspiracy thinking that I'll never understand.

Abusive names, not unusual or slightly off ones. Ones that will severely restrict the named in the future- who is going to hire a kid named Adolf Hitler? Especially for low wage summer employment, like bussing tables. "Oh look, we have Sam Smith, Alex Acorn, Jaylya Jones and...Adolf Hitler applying?"

That's true, but if a child were to be named the forbidden "N" word....or something that is held in similar context, with the climate as it is in the U.S., I'd think that could be somewhat off limits. After all, people lose their jobs for using that word.

"Nazi" carries with it a similar, although maybe not as great here in the U.S., connotation of blacklisted words to sling around.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if a person crosses a line (and there aren't many, if any, where names are concerned ...?), just as social services becomes involved in other instances, why not in the name instance?

(BTW, I'm a Libertarian, so I get the low-to-no government intrusion thing.)

[slickcat79]

http://nerdreactor.com/2011/11/22/coupl ... -for-life/

In semi-related news, new parents name their son (born 11/11/11 of course) Dovahkiin in honor of the Skyrim character.

Totally coincidentally, they also win a free lifetime supply of Bethesda games for their choice.