Recovering from a patriarchal childhood

[ChickeyMonkey]

Translation: I hit the nail on the head.

Um, I totally took that comment the wrong way. I thought s/he was talking about Apple the company, since s/he just mentioned about the ipod/phone thing, not apple1.

I feel stoopid. :oops:

[AKDA]

Ok, I'm safely in Ga and have Internet again. Goodness! Apparently if someone can't spend one day or so off the Internet (and has the curtesy to tell those with whom she is discussing to warn them that she is leaving), she is running away and can't defend her position. Y'all are really close minded opinionated and biased folks aren't you? Most people would have said, "Have a great trip and maybe we can keep talking when you get back." Hm. Seems like some people are missing common decency and manners...

Hisey, thank you for admitting that perhaps there are SOME families who believe in Patriarchy who are truely happy. That was my only point. No one can see hearts or motives. All we can see is is what we can observe. All I said in the first place was my observations, and I readily admitted at the first that there were in all likelihood (in fact, being human they could hardly avoid it) abuses, hypocrocies and liars in the VF/ATI community. But I also maintain that there are happy, content, and wonderful families in those communities.

[AKDA]

Ok, btw. My response was to those who were bashing me for *gasp* announcing I was leaving the discussion. My Internet had not loaded all the other posts on this thread yet, for some reason.

[Guest Anonymous]

Ok, I'm safely in Ga and have Internet again. Goodness! Apparently if someone can't spend one day or so off the Internet (and has the curtesy to tell those with whom she is discussing to warn them that she is leaving), she is running away and can't defend her position. Y'all are really close minded opinionated and biased folks aren't you? Most people would have said, "Have a great trip and maybe we can keep talking when you get back." Hm. Seems like some people are missing common decency and manners...

Your grammar and spelling make baby Jesus cry. That said, did you happen to read the fucking rules before you came crashing in here to shit all over everything? Particularly this bit:

By joining this board, you acknowledge that people here will use VERY BAD LANGUAGE and possibly express opinions derogatory towards certain fringe groups. You are fully aware that most of us are making fun of the freaks and fruitcakes that drop litters of children. You are here because you're fascinated by the societal currents that give rise to these whackjobs. If you ARE one of these whackjobs, be aware of what you're stepping into and stop crying.

Seems like one person here is missing reading comprehension.

[AKDA]

I still see nothing in that that warned me that those with whom I would be conversing (no matter what side I am on) will lack basic manners and politeness. But, when you ente the world of those who have nothing better to do than stalk and gossip about others, what can I expect?

[Brainsample]

I wonder if gossip dries out cuticles?

I use a lot of coconut oil for my cuticles, right out of the jar, for my skin (but I cook with it often, so it's available). I don't have trouble with dry cuticles, unless I'm working with a lot of cardboard boxes or am going through large volumes of medical records for my job. The paper seems to dry them out. Of course, it's worse in winter, but I do well wearing rubber gloves.

I'm allergic to lanonlin which is probably the best thing for excessive dryness. They recommended it to us in anatomy lab in college because the formaldehyde in which the the cats we dissected were preserved was so hard on the skin.

[emmiedahl]

Wow, pot meet kettle on the manners and politeness.

The problem, AKDA, is that a lot, even the majority perhaps, of people here were in a patriarchal Christian church. So they are not fooled by your claims, because they know them to be false. Some people get really mad when someone is lying to them about their own abuse.

[raineymott]

Wow, pot meet kettle on the manners and politeness.

The problem, AKDA, is that a lot, even the majority perhaps, of people here were in a patriarchal Christian church. So they are not fooled by your claims, because they know them to be false. Some people get really mad when someone is lying to them about their own abuse.

*raises hand* Been there.

Complete, 100% patriarchy = tyranny. Don't tell me that's not true, I lived under it for 23 years.

[AKDA]

Wow, pot meet kettle on the manners and politeness.

The problem, AKDA, is that a lot, even the majority perhaps, of people here were in a patriarchal Christian church. So they are not fooled by your claims, because they know them to be false. Some people get really mad when someone is lying to them about their own abuse.

Ok, so they are speaking from their own experiences. So they should stick to that and not make unfounded accusations about others. I could find a million and one girls to write on a forum about what a bad idea a live in boyfriend is, all the abuses that go on in that kind of situation, and so on and so on blah blah blah. The same thing with women who think all men are trash and don't think any woman should get married. Yeah? So? That doesn't mean that ALL or even MOST live in boyfriends make horror stories, or that all marriages are as bad as some women think or that all men are as horrible as some women have been taught by experience. That is insane.

[emmiedahl]

No, they are speaking from knowledge of the way the system works.

The difference is that girls who live with an abusive boyfriend can leave. That is just the first of a bazillion differences.

Patriarchal christianity is set up to bring out the abuser in any man with even a slight inclination. Since the children are raised so harshly, that is a lot of men.

[deelaem]

Ok, so they are speaking from their own experiences. So they should stick to that and not make unfounded accusations about others. I could find a million and one girls to write on a forum about what a bad idea a live in boyfriend is, all the abuses that go on in that kind of situation, and so on and so on blah blah blah. The same thing with women who think all men are trash and don't think any woman should get married. Yeah? So? That doesn't mean that ALL or even MOST live in boyfriends make horror stories, or that all marriages are as bad as some women think or that all men are as horrible as some women have been taught by experience. That is insane.

You're really good at the sweeping statements, aren't you? A million and one girls? And what women think ALL men are trash and no women should get married? I'm not even sure what your point is here.

Look, you sound like you're very young. There are people here with a lot of life experience and have done good solid fact-based research on these topics. Since you don't seem to want to go away, you'd do yourself a favor by not making these blanket statements that have no basis in fact. The world is not quite as absolute as you like to make it seem.

[MaroonMandy]

And for the love of all things holy, stop putting an "e" in truly!

[FlorenceHamilton]

I have a terrible problem with my cuticles. I am going to try the coconut oil. I ahve been using Shae butter with some success.

[Brainsample]

I have a terrible problem with my cuticles. I am going to try the coconut oil. I ahve been using Shae butter with some success.

I've heard that neem oil is very good, and they put it in miracle heel repair. I saw small sample tubes of it at Bed Bath and Beyond.

[oscar]

I found bag balm did wonders for my cuticles, with the added benefit of tasting so vile it kept me from biting my fingernails! But for those like Brainsample who are allergic to lanolin, this wouldn't be a good choice.

[apple1]

I've heard that neem oil is very good, and they put it in miracle heel repair. I saw small sample tubes of it at Bed Bath and Beyond.

You definitely don't want anything with more than a miniscule percentage of neem oil. Neem oil stinks- BAD. And that is an understatement.

[Austin]

I still see nothing in that that warned me that those with whom I would be conversing (no matter what side I am on) will lack basic manners and politeness. But, when you ente the world of those who have nothing better to do than stalk and gossip about others, what can I expect?

This statement, in all of its forms, always makes me giggle. So someone comes onto the internet, logs onto a site, makes posts and then blasts people who have also - wait for it - gotten onto the internet, logged into a site, and made posts.

Look in the mirror, honey.

[formergothardite]

Well, since you are back, can you please explain exactly how patriarchy doesn't supress women? Since you said you are against that, yet doen't have a problem with patriarchy.

[Shina]

oscar, I'd usually use bag balm--love it! However, I'm currently living in Spain and can't seem to find any of the more unusual products here. Will definitely attempt the coconut oil, sounds like it'll smell yummy.

[emmiedahl]

I love bag balm--the best thing for atopic dermatitis ime! But it is very oily and will leave oil stains on clothing. Just be careful with it.

[Annon]

bump

I think a lot of ATI parents (I can only speak for that I've never been in the VF movement, friends yes but never myself/family)... already were authoritarian before they got in ATI. ATI just gave them the affirmation for their abusive and controlling tendencies. So it attracted and was appealing to authoritarian parents.

This is also why I think there are some (I think it's a minority) of families that turned out "okay" and weren't all that affected by ATI. Their parents were more reasonable and moderate and only sort of did ATI and didn't have the controlling/abusive/authoritarian bent already.

And some may have toyed with it, when they wouldn't have otherwise.

[AKDA]

Well, since you are back, can you please explain exactly how patriarchy doesn't supress women? Since you said you are against that, yet doen't have a problem with patriarchy.

For my benefit (since you apparently already have a mental list), let's hear how it IS suppressive, and go from there. That way, we aren't starting from scratch.

[MaroonMandy]

Oh this should be good...

[Shina]

Anyone else want to do their nails while watching the smackdown?

[emmiedahl]

Ok, so they are speaking from their own experiences. So they should stick to that and not make unfounded accusations about others.

It just hit me: AKDA is speaking from her own experience as well. Right? So in her opinion, her one experience negates the hundreds of experiences here, the experiences we can read on the blogs of people who still live the fundie lifestyle, and the actual grounding principles of the movement.

I hope she is reading this and can see why that might be a problem.