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[CW: Child Sex Abuse] Josh&Anna 27:How Many Robocalls Did Michelle Make to Warn People about Her Son


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24 minutes ago, The Baby Humanist said:

EXACTLY. It's how they can see an adult, consentual relationship between two gay men as "equally sinful" to an adult molesting a 4-year-old. It's a truly qrotesque "moral code."

It is concerning because how does somebody not understand this? Their general theology allows them, in the worst-case scenario, to overlook degrees of harm. It's a denial of the actual real-life impact of actions and relationships.

Edited by seraaa
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1 hour ago, The Baby Humanist said:

At least in MY view, they aren't excuses but explanations. It doesn't mean that her allegiance to Josh is okay, and it doesn't even mean she should get custody of her kids even if she doesn't come around to a new way of thinking.

It DOES mean that vilifying her is counterproductive to fixing the problem. The more she perceives the rest of the world as "against" her (and Josh), the tighter she will cling to him ... and this is something we see in abusive marriages in general, irrespective of religion.

There are experts that understand how the mind works in cultic situations, and how such people can change. And I think we need to see this as exactly that: a cultic situation.

 

I fully understand it is a cult, and it can feel impossible to get completely free of the cult mindset. But if she truly wanted to shun him there are IBLP teachings she could use to justify doing so. He for sure falls under the category of a sensual fool, and so the only way to deal with him is to avoid him and have him suffer the harshest of punishments. 
 

At this point if she goes public and says that while she forgives him because she doesn’t want bitterness to take root in her own life, Josh is a dangerous fool and she will follow scriptural teachings to no longer associate with him and allow him to suffer consequences of his actions, I really doubt the cult members would be lining up to try and force her to recant and say she will stand by him. Gil and Kelly Bates have been working hard to rebrand the cult as being wholesome.

But Anna has to want to dump Josh. She had to want to not present herself as the poor wife who is going to stand by her husband through thick and thin. If she wanted to ditch Josh, she could find ways to use the cult teachings and her spotlight to do so. If she stays, it is because she is making the decision to do so. 

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10 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

Does Josh get visitation rights from anyone aside from his lawyers before ?May 5th?

I am trying to ponder out how much Jim Bob can insert himself into any plea bargain(s) Of course the lawyers should be keeping Josh’s stuff conditional if he wants them to, but we all know that JB is paying them and no way will he let them keep him out of the loop. Could he in theory see Josh in person and berate/bully/threaten him to do JB preference? Also I am clearly unsure if any of this is relevant now or if Josh even gets to enter any pleas on that date or if that is just about bail. 

I was taught in legal ethics that no matter who pays the bills, my client calls the shots because it is he to whom I have an ethical duty in my representation. If one of my clients needs to make a decision -- withdraw his appeal for a very good reason -- I tell him the same thing: let me write the brief, you read it and talk to whomever you need to, have them call me if they don't understand something, and we'll talk again. I tell family members I will explain legal terms, how things work and things like that but I will not talk to them about what my client and I have discussed. I had a client's mother tell me I have power of attorney. I said I didn't care. She was not my client. But that's me. I went through hell to get my license. No JimBob Duggar type is going to be the reason I lose it.

None of that is to say that JimBob won't bully or threaten Josh into doing whatever keeps JimBob as clean as it can (he's dirty, not CSE dirty (that I know of), but dirty nonetheless. I can't stop him from coming to see Josh. But in any guilty plea proceeding I've seen, one of the Boykin questions is whether anyone has coerced the client into pleading guilty. Would Josh say yes? I dunno. In my mind, I'm picturing JimBob's face if Josh were to say yes, my father.

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5 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

If all sin is the same,   I feel like it all becomes meaningless in the end. No matter if it was thoughts in your head or actual actions that hurt other people grievously, it's all the same blah blah that Jesus will sweep under the rug if you send some meaningless words of prayer into the empty space between your ears.

Kind of like KPI metrics.  If you set a target for 0 error in X operation, where you know there will be some human error, then people ignore the measurement as it's not achievable.  

Give them a target that's doable, even if it's a stretch goal, then you see improvement.  Perhaps God should have spent some time in QC before creating the whole people thing.  Come to think of it a QC department for humanity wouldn't be a terrible idea....I'd love to be able to stamp someone as a quality non-conformance and send them back to be reworked.  

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8 hours ago, NakedKnees said:

Regarding porn:

  Hide contents

 

I personally stopped watching free porn as my new years resolution, and haven't really gotten to budgeting what I would pay for porn. The change has had absolutely zero impact on my life, haha. Maybe I go to bed a bit earlier now? That's it.

 

 

I've basically quit watching porn as a result of lack of opportunity/interest anyway, but this set of threads is really making me rethink ever going back to doing so. As in, I'm really icked by the thought that anything I watched might have had someone being coerced, just to start with, let alone other issues. I'm not sure why I never thought it over before outside of just being dumb, but ick.

1 hour ago, fluffernutter said:

On Anna being a good mom- all we’ve ever seen is her being on her best for the cameras or social media. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors. Let’s be real about the widely held beliefs of this cult- I find it hard to believe she is all sunshine and kittens when spare the rod and ezzo and blanket training etc etc is everywhere around her. For some reason this reminded me of when my kids were young- I was home with three and my husband worked a lot, and we lived away from family. I was pretty isolated and I came up with this weird-ass “game” to keep myself I check when I was having a bad day with the kids. I’d pretend (this is so embarrassing to type out) that T. Berry Brazelton was visiting and hanging out. How I would act when someone who I greatly admired was watching me kept me from yelling or or being too short with the kids. Kept me from losing my shit on them. For you young whippersnappers, he was a popular pediatrician back in the day and had a tv show about childhood development in the 80’s and 90’s. That doesn’t really have much to do with Anna at all, other than we “act” a different way when we know someone is watching- whether it be the world on tv or a pretend pediatrician I had over for coffee. ? My word I sound like I was crazy back then.  

Hey, whatever works. If it kept you on an even keel with little kids, it must have had something to it.

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1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hope that is true.  Am I correct in assuming the ankle bracelet sets off an alarm and someone is notified immediately if he ventures out of where he's supposed to be?  Like how ADT texted and called me this morning because someone at work set off the burglar alarm?

There are 2 types of ankle bracelet that I'm aware of. (Thanks to my little criminals for providing me with this information.) One is for house arrest. If you're within 50 feet or so of your house, you're good. If not, some alarm goes off somewhere and they come looking for you. One of mine had this as a juvie.

The other is a GPS enabled bracelet. The same criminal states that with that he could go to work, be at his residence, etc. but as long as he doesn't leave the county or whatever restrictions are on it, he could live a more "normal" life... of course if he went to regular gang/drug hangouts, they'd have that information on his tracking, too.

1 hour ago, quiversR4hunting said:

Could he be held at the Jesus camp he went to after Ashley Madison? I hope not but .... 

My thoughts about this, and I'm not completely sure, is that it would be NO. I think a court appointed person would have to be the supervisor of Josh, and I'm not sure that the court would appoint someone like family or Jesus camp who have so spectacularly failed him before.

AFA visitation, my son is currently incarcerated (not the one accused of child stuff, the other one.) There is NO visiting in the detention center, for a long time now. Only the staff and attorneys can get in.

Edited by Four is Enough
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4 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

If she stays, it is because she is making the decision to do so. 

I realize this is conjecture, because this situation is (so far) unique.

But let's assume that:

1. Anna chooses to stand by Josh, and

2. The kids are still young enough to be vulnerable once Josh gets out of prison. 

I don't know what rules Josh would be under legally; if no evidence had been found he'd actually molested his kids, then I assume authorities could not demand he be separated from them. 

So based on what you know, how likely would it be that friends/family WITHIN this religious community would impress on her the need to protect the children? Even by suggesting separate residences even as the couple is still married? 

This is so opposite, backward and upside-down compared to how most of society would view this. 

 

 

 

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On 5/2/2021 at 10:45 AM, Chickenbutt said:

Thinking about who would take Josh.

[text omitted]

As someone else mentioned. I suspect the judge can add or subtract from the questionnaire as she sees fit. She will, almost certainly, limit computer/phone/internet access. Who is willing to give that up for their "friend"? 

I wonder if the Duggars would propose, and the judge would accept, someone who runs a “Christian Rehab” program like the one Josh went to after Ashley Madison.  Josh could be locked up in Jesus Jail, praying and repenting until he goes to Federal Prison.   

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1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I know we haven’t seen him much since 2015, but other Duggars’ social media always gave me the impression that he was tolerated for the sake of his wife and children. Like, he’s at the family party, but no one is talking to him. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t been Pops’ golden boy since 2015. And I know I’ve told this story lots of times on FJ, but when I met the family at a book signing, two of the younger siblings nodded and rolled their eyes when I mentioned how Josh was a politician (he was holding up the line by chatting). Open contempt, in front of a total stranger.

When was that?

 

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37 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Are we putting odds on them blaming this on the fact they used birth control early in their marriage? Didn't Josh have a year or two before they became super duper fundamentalist? I could totally see them doubling down - "Josh was irreparably harmed as an infant by being exposed to THE WORLD..."

They most definitely weren't - they couldn't possibly have been. Not only that many people in a tiny house at first meant the kids had to have heard more than they should, but we know the girls tracked Michelle's cycles on a calendar AND they knew exactly what phrase JB said to Michelle when he wanted to get busy. And thought it was no big deal to mention that on TV. I have no doubt at all that there were frequent occasions when the kids knew their parents were getting it on, and probably heard it at least. And had proof on the calendar a few weeks later, and a new sibling on the way.

 

Yeah this is a huge thing I don't think most fundies get. If admiring a woman walking by wearing shorts is the same thing as molesting a child, which is the same as lying about taking the last donut or not praying before eating...

No wonder they're screwed up. 

Not that it's an excuse, of course. Adults have to be able to see there is a difference. But it is pretty messed up to spend your entire life begging God not to send you to hell for watching a TV in a restaurant or something, and being made to believe that to God murder is the same level of sin as wearing pants if you're female.

Agreed. I can not reconcile how parents in this cult do not realize how difficult and unhealthy if would be to start a marriage from never having had a private conversation or moment with a new spouse, to having full on sex. How did JB and M (in this case) not understand how unhealthy this was/is on the new couple and their relationship? And then you add on the ridiculous modesty standards where showing a knee or collar bone is amoral, yet wearing a tight top when gestating a fetus is not? Or the instruction to act godly, yet it’s ok for JB to dry hump his wife while playing mini golf with Jessa and 17 YO Ben. 
 

JB and M were absolutely not decent adult role models for their kids in terms of healthy relationships or how to live life in the real world.

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1 hour ago, MrsFoxx said:

My husband did not abuse our children, which is different from Anna's situation,

Do we know that Josh abused his own children?

 

Edited by HerNameIsBuffy
cleaned up formatting - double posting
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Obviously I hope this is a wake up call to Anna and she divorces him and gets her kids out. That is really the ONLY reasonable thing to do...but people who have been raised in an environment full of twisted thinking don’t usually think reasonably. I was not raised in a deep fundie home, but a conservative Christian home and I can tell you it’s hard to rewire your thinking.  I grew up thinking the worst things a person could do were drink, do drugs, smoke, and the worst of the worst have premarital sex.  I could not AT ALL distinguish between something ACTUALLY wrong like murder and armed robbery or something only morally (based on your own beliefs) wrong like sleeping with your boyfriend or having a beer. I thought anyone who did any of those things was evil and “bad”.  I’m now middle aged and an atheist and I KNOW how ridiculous and twisted my thinking was but it’s still there in the back of my mind, I’ll see someone with a cigarette and instantly think they are “bad”. It’s hard to get over those things that were ingrained in you even when you KNOW they were wrong.  I don’t see Anna changing at all because she still believes all of these things. I just hope he is sent away for a very long time, because I sadly don’t see her leaving. 

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1 hour ago, keep_my_spleen said:

That's so cool that you're able to do that.  I haven't even thought of integrating it into fiction.  I would wager that allows you to have some disconnect/anonymity with it while still being able to write about it.  

I think I still would like to write about it someday, as I find writing cathartic.  But I also have not processed verbally yet with my therapist - I've only been diagnosed with PTSD in the last few weeks, and I have significant anxiety as well which I've been working through.  At this current moment I find it hard to find words that carry the horrific nature of what happened to me... so I guess writing about it is off the table for me.  I also can't think about it without having flashbacks.

I was diagnosed around 2017 so I've had more time to process. You'll get there, even if it feels overwhelming and impossible now. Even if you never get to the point where you can publish works on it, you'll get to a point where you can (somewhat) comfortably think about or write about what happened. I still have the flashbacks and night terrors, but less and less as time goes on. It took me about a year to even use the phrase "domestic violence" and longer to voice some of the specifics that happened. 

If you ever want to talk, vent, relate, whatever, you can always chat to me. Wishing you healing. ?

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I found the PACER files for Josh’s case including his arrest warrant, there are some interesting things in them. Hopefully, an FJ attorney or two can help to explain some of it. ?

There are 31 images, and I was too lazy to upload each and put it behind a spoiler, so they are in my album.

https://www.freejinger.org/gallery/album/21-ofmatthew/

Spoiler

VkmFNEn.jpeg.38fd840b57d75009ab07dcfcede09f07.jpeg

 

 

 

 

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26 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

If all sin is the same,   I feel like it all becomes meaningless in the end.

I was never a Fundamentalist Christian, but I was a devout Liberal Christian (and yes, they exist). It was exactly this issue that sparked my VERY long and traumatic deconstruction process.

I was a sophomore in college at the height of The Reagan Revolution, and the Evangelical movement was gathering stream via Campus Crusade for Christ (now CRU). As a liberal, I was under constant pressure in the dorm to get "Born Again," so I finally did ... And then spiraled into a suicidal depression.

Why? Because none of my family (agnostic) or friends (Catholic, Jewish, Liberal Protestant) were "saved," and I did the math and realized only a TINY percentage of human beings have been saved (by their definition).

To me, then, most people's lives have been futile. No wonder what amazing things they accomplished, good things they did, and obstacles they overcame, none of it mattered if they didn't "accept Christ" before death, and they go to eternal hell anyway. Billions and billions of burning souls, with their life on earth barely a blip.

It's an extremely nihlistic view, and I'm frankly amazed it doesn't hit more people this way. 

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1 minute ago, Travelfan said:

Obviously I hope this is a wake up call to Anna and she divorces him and gets her kids out. That is really the ONLY reasonable thing to do...but people who have been raised in an environment full of twisted thinking don’t usually think reasonably. I was not raised in a deep fundie home, but a conservative Christian home and I can tell you it’s hard to rewire your thinking.  I grew up thinking the worst things a person could do were drink, do drugs, smoke, and the worst of the worst have premarital sex.  I could not AT ALL distinguish between something ACTUALLY wrong like murder and armed robbery or something only morally (based on your own beliefs) wrong like sleeping with your boyfriend or having a beer. I thought anyone who did any of those things was evil and “bad”.  I’m now middle aged and an atheist and I KNOW how ridiculous and twisted my thinking was but it’s still there in the back of my mind, I’ll see someone with a cigarette and instantly think they are “bad”. It’s hard to get over those things that were ingrained in you even when you KNOW they were wrong.  I don’t see Anna changing at all because she still believes all of these things. I just hope he is sent away for a very long time, because I sadly don’t see her leaving. 

And this is why JB absolutely denies his kids education. He does not want them having critical thinking skills or intellectual curiosity. He absolutely tried to prevent those attributes or train them out if they did crop up. I am sure the Dillard debacle has only made JB double down on this approach. JB did not want his kids thinking, reasoning, questioning or using logic. I’ve always thought his approach (and Michelle’s) was a form of blatant abuse. No education and isolation, church of the couch and praying at the altar of daddy. When you look at the financial control, with the kids as youngsters  working to support the family and then as adults working and having JB receive the paycheck, it’s definitely cult mentality.

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2 hours ago, The Baby Humanist said:

But here's the thing: For her whole life, Anna has been trained (and I do mean TRAINED) to see such abuse as an evil that ONLY "The Left" can perpetrate.

For them, good and evil are less about the behaviors than about who is DOING the behaviors, good or bad.

"Child abuse" is what The Liberals, The Atheists, The Democrats, The Hollywood Elites, The Gays, The Globalists (Jews), and possibly The Papists (Catholics) do. True Christians™, by literal definition, do not do these things because they are incapable of THAT level of depravity. 

And if they DO do them, twas the Devil made them do it, poor things, so they must be forgiven. Not so, for all those outside their tribe. 

Don't forget that while the Duggars et al are ON TV, they don't actually WATCH TV — at least, not "the mainstream media," which they believe is part of a literal conspiracy to destroy Christianity in America, ie, them. 

@formergothardite came from an ATI/IBLP background. She knows these things from the inside out.

Edited by nelliebelle1197
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41 minutes ago, Freejin said:

I’m not sure if these things are effective but if anyone wants to sign a petition to remove the Duggars from the air, here it is 

 

https://www.change.org/p/discovery-channel-delete-all-duggar-shows?signed=true

Does anyone have a link to TLC? I'd like to share my feelings with them. 

Edited by libgirl2
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11 minutes ago, ofMatthew said:

I found the PACER files for Josh’s case including his arrest warrant, there are some interesting things in them. Hopefully, an FJ attorney or two can help to explain some of it. ?

There are 31 images, and I was too lazy to upload each and put it behind a spoiler, so they are in my album.

https://www.freejinger.org/gallery/album/21-ofmatthew/

  Reveal hidden contents

VkmFNEn.jpeg.38fd840b57d75009ab07dcfcede09f07.jpeg

 

 

Thanks.  I did a quick scan and what caught my eye is that he is charged with two Level 4 offenses.  Does that add up to Level 8?  That still doesn't seem severe, based on the chart:https://www.crimdefend.com/files/federal-guidelines.pdf

11 minutes ago, ofMatthew said:

 

 

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

@formergothardite came from an ATI/IBLP background. She knows these things from the inside out.

Come on, Nellie....if someone doesn't explain what fundyism is to @formergothardite then how will she learn?

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5 minutes ago, The Baby Humanist said:

I was never a Fundamentalist Christian, but I was a devout Liberal Christian (and yes, they exist). It was exactly this issue that sparked my VERY long and traumatic deconstruction process.

I was a sophomore in college at the height of The Reagan Revolution, and the Evangelical movement was gathering stream via Campus Crusade for Christ (now CRU). As a liberal, I was under constant pressure in the dorm to get "Born Again," so I finally did ... And then spiraled into a suicidal depression.

Why? Because none of my family (agnostic) or friends (Catholic, Jewish, Liberal Protestant) were "saved," and I did the math and realized only a TINY percentage of human beings have been saved (by their definition).

To me, then, most people's lives have been futile. No wonder what amazing things they accomplished, good things they did, and obstacles they overcame, none of it mattered if they didn't "accept Christ" before death, and they go to eternal hell anyway. Billions and billions of burning souls, with their life on earth barely a blip.

It's an extremely nihlistic view, and I'm frankly amazed it doesn't hit more people this way. 

I’ve got a bit of the reverse of this going on. Everyone I love and care about are all conservative Christians. I had doubts since childhood but hid them and prayed they would go away.  A handful of years ago I finally saw through all the bs clearly enough and am now finally at peace as an atheist. It’s hard to know that everyone I love truly believes I’m going to hell though. Luckily for me my family/friends have mostly been good about it, but man I know how much it grieves them that they KNOW I’m going to burn someday.  That’s quite a burden to put on someone. I stayed in the atheist closet for quite a long time dreading it. Now that I can see it clearly, I don’t know why anyone would want to believe it, it is so awful!  I guess they just do enough mental gymnastics to only focus on the positive part of Jesus loves me and not the negative part of he’s sending almost everyone else to hell!

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7 minutes ago, The Baby Humanist said:

I realize this is conjecture, because this situation is (so far) unique.

But let's assume that:

1. Anna chooses to stand by Josh, and

2. The kids are still young enough to be vulnerable once Josh gets out of prison. 

I don't know what rules Josh would be under legally; if no evidence had been found he'd actually molested his kids, then I assume authorities could not demand he be separated from them. 

So based on what you know, how likely would it be that friends/family WITHIN this religious community would impress on her the need to protect the children? Even by suggesting separate residences even as the couple is still married? 

This is so opposite, backward and upside-down compared to how most of society would view this. 

 


If she wants to stay, I doubt any of these people would protect the kids from Josh. Anna is going to have to actually do some shit and advocate for her kids. The Duggars, sadly,  are probably more of a Smith sort of family, not a Morton. If the court system won’t protect the children and Anna won’t, I don’t think most of the family will. There are probably some Keller/Duggar siblings who would try to protect the kids, 

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Every time I think I've caught up, I go to make a cup of tea, and I'm pages behind. Again. The discussion here has been really interesting, I started trying to note down who said what, but couldn't keep up. Also, there were some really unexpected laughs, think @HerNameIsBuffy got s few great one-liners in, at apposite times.

As I was skimming, I know I've missed a lot of nuance - like with the sex workers discussion, for instance. Personally, I don't see it as subjugating or emancipating, in principle, and there were comments made about how many jobs are exploiting workers - which is all true. Except that most jobs don't involve arresting the people providing the service, and not the people who try to buy an "illegal service". I did jot down 2-3 names, but I can't read my own writing.
Then, someone @Four is Enough , @viii ?) pointed out how JB and M can love and support Josh - without endangering their many other children and grandchildren. They won't, of course, take the middle road of doing this, while condemning his actions. I mean, his previous victims were their own daughters, and we've seen zero indication from JB and M that they "love their neighbours" ever, let alone unknown children online.
As for whether Anna is an activist or not, or sheltered or not - whatever the circumstances behind her engagement etc, she was brought up to think that she, and her fiance, as adults, had to ask their parents' permission to hold hands. She might not have known anything about sex, but given that "courtship" background, she ought to be scandalized by a photo of an unrelated adult holding a child's hand. In fact, her shelteredness (and that of the people in her church) should make them all the more horrified by Josh's 'so-called' "misdemeanours" and the CSA charges,** rather than less. And yet, as JB claimed back in 2015, apparently it's no biggie, happens in loads of fundie fams, etc etc. Until it becomes public. And @fundiefan and WOACB - well, as they say, even a broken (24 hr) clock is right once a day, right? Much like ZZ's take on it all.

I'll never know whether nurture prevents a paedophile acting on their desires, or not; I'm going to be unpopularly honest for a sec - I have some sympathy for Josh. Far, far more for his victims of course - and zero for JB and M - but we'll never know whether he could have been treated or not. The early 14 kids episodes, I hated JB and M - I couldn't believe how they restricted their kids' futures the way they did, and as a young child-free teen, staying up late to do extra homework by the light of my TV, the lives they envisaged for their daughters killed me. But there was so much potential for those kids, even Smuggar. And their daughters, oh, it made me so sad even back then. But, you know, if they'd stopped at 6 kids or so, maybe even Smuggar would have had some hope. But they didn't even bother with their "golden boy".

It kills me, there are really good people, good parents out there, who've had to face something similar with a child of their own, even here on FJ. Those people have done everything they could to love and support their children, while making sure they get treatment, and protecting their and other people's children. JB and M were, and are, so negligent. But, God forbid Jana holds hands with an unrelated male - or those weirdos who kept a 6 inch distance between themselves while courting, even for putting on the engagement ring - soooo holy and morally superior to everyone else... see **

Urgh, the hypocrisy of these people. And the, well, "joy" isn't really the right word - erm, "comfort", I guess is better - of reading so many well thought out comments. 

So, will now have missed many good replies. I'm doing a FAMY (not because of the Duggars, just that it's Monday, and I have the day off tomorrow, and my CV vax on Wed, so celebratory drinks). Will now sit back and enjoy hearing from everyone else's experience.

 

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7 minutes ago, gustava said:

Thanks.  I did a quick scan and what caught my eye is that he is charged with two Level 4 offenses.  Does that add up to Level 8?  That still doesn't seem severe, based on the chart:https://www.crimdefend.com/files/federal-guidelines.pdf

 

 

I *think* that now that Josh is in custody, they can continue building a case against Josh. They had enough evidence to indict him but now they can search his home and look for more evidence. There could be more charges coming.

I hope an attorney can confirm or deny this. I was basing this on the Lori Vallow Daybell case.

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