Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 20

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[WiseGirl]

[WiseGirl]

[fraurosena]

Edited August 11, 2020 by fraurosena

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

From your lips to Rufus's ears!

[GreyhoundFan]

3 hours ago, WiseGirl said:

Hey, Northern VA needs to be in the US of Canada, not Jesusland...we aren't part of Trumplandia.

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Unconstitutional Slop"

Quote

“We don’t want to continue to watch people signing executive orders because that was not what the Constitution and the brilliant designers of this incredible document had in mind. We need people that can make deals.”

That’s a direct quote from Donald Trump in March 2016. In fact, all Republicans were critical of President Barack Obama’s use of executive orders. They accused him of being an imperial president.

Fun fact: Donald Trump was also critical of President Obama’s handling of the Swine Flu, Ebola Virus, and how often he played golf. Donald Trump said President Obama should resign over his handling of Ebola, which killed zero Americans who contracted it while in the U.S. It’s estimated the Swine Flu killed over 12,000 Americans. In case you’re a Republican, the Trump Virus has killed over 163,000 Americans and Donald Trump still hasn’t resigned.

But being hypocrites is nothing new for Donald Trump or the Republican Party.

Unable to reach a deal with Democrats to help Americans get through the pandemic after their $600 a week unemployment benefits have run out and to save them from evictions, Donald Trump signed an executive order…but wait.

Didn’t Donald Trump tell us he’s a great negotiator? Didn’t he say nobody can negotiate better than him? Didn’t he say negotiating with Congress and other nations was easy? Didn’t he say something about being such a great negotiator that we’ll get tired of winning? So, why was he unable to reach a deal with Democrats? Why did he give up? But wait again.

Donald Trump, this great negotiator, never negotiated. Sure, he sent underlings to negotiate with Nancy Pelosi, but didn’t we elect him for his negotiating skills? We didn’t elect him to delegate that responsibility to Pete Navarro, Larry Kudlow, Mark Meadows, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Stephen Goosesteppin’ Miller, or even dumbass Jared. We (as in other people, I didn’t elect him), elected Trump for his great negotiating skills? So, why wasn’t he negotiating before deciding to be an “imperial” president?

The thing is, he’s not a great negotiator and he’s scared of Nancy Pelosi. Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government over wall funding? Pelosi gave him some funding for his racist and useless wall, but he wanted more. After a month of the government being shut down, Donald Trump negotiated himself into getting nothing. Donald Trump, this great negotiator, negotiated himself from getting something into getting nothing. Pelosi ate his lunch and she was going to do it again. Donald Trump is signing executive orders because he’s afraid of Nancy. He should be.

One of Donald Trump’s executive orders says unemployed Americans will now receive $400 a week. You can also look at this as a reduction because it is. In case you’re a Republican, 4 is less than 6. Also, $100 of that is supposed to come from states. In case you’re a Republican, the president can’t tell states how to spend their budgets. Also, presidents don’t control spending. Congress allocates spending. It’s in the Constitution.

I love that Republicans call themselves Constitutionalists except when it actually comes to the Constitution.

Also, Donald Trump has cut the payroll tax except, he didn’t. It’s like when he banned flights from China when he didn’t.

In case you’re a Republican, I’m going to explain how this works. 7% of your paycheck goes to Social Security and Medicare. Your employer matches it. In case you’re a Republican, 7 plus 7 equals 14. What Trump did with this was not a cut but a deferral. What does that mean, Republicans? That means you don’t have to pay that tax now but you will later. In fact, you’ll probably have to pay all the weeks missed at once. When that hits you, remember Donald Trump did it.

The idea here is, stupid Americans will notice a larger paycheck between now and November, say, “Golly gee willikins, Mr. Trump gave me more money. I’m going to vote for him because I’m a dumbass.” And then after November, wham! The bill hits. Then, those stupid Trump voters will say, “Damn you, Nancy!” Or, if Joe Biden is president, those fuckers will blame him. Seriously, that’s going to happen. Watch.

Fortunately, some employers will continue to withhold that money so when the bill does come in, you won’t be hit or even have to worry about it.

But I am looking forward to Donald Trump running on the message that he’s going to destroy Social Security and Medicare. He’s already running a campaign promising to strip Americans of healthcare coverage.

Not all Republicans were hypocrites about Trump’s executive orders. Ben Sasse of Nebraska called it “executive slop.” In case you’re a Republican, Ben Sasse is a Republican.

Donald Trump thinks this is the kind of stuff that makes him a great president. Why, he even called the Governor of South Dakota to inquire how to get his head on Mount Rushmore, not realizing the monument is a federal thing and governors can’t do anything with them. Frankly, I’m surprised he called the right state, and right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t trying to figure out how to put Trump on Rushmore.

There should be a monument for Donald Trump. A monument for really bad presidents. We’re talking about the worst here and not just the semi lazy. A monument for presidents who didn’t know what to do, were clueless, shouldn’t have been in the office, and even those who refused to do the job they were installed by a Russian dictator to do (actually, he’s doing those jobs).

I can see Trump’s head next to Filmore, Harding, Hoover, Buchanan, Nixon, and George W. Bush. To make it more realistic, we can make Trump’s head bigger than the rest.

We can call it Mount Suckmore.

 

[thoughtful]

I don't have the skills, so I am watching this space for a cartoonist to come up with a sketch of the back of an envelope, on which it says, in Trump's Sharpie scrawl:

Four scores and seven pussy grabs ago . . .

Edited August 12, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[K'Z'K]

 Someone needs to rewrite this song to be about our future Veep (*):

 

Lyrics:

Spoiler

[Verse 1]
She took me into her lovely home
Called Nicaragua on the phone
Read Art of Loving by Erich Fromme
Made enchiladas for me, man
Won't take advantage of her and
Won't even ask her to book my band

[Chorus]
Kamala's too nice, I'm such a dick
Kamala's too nice and I'm a pig
Kamala's too nice, she makes me sick

[Verse 2]
Sit in her apartment acting rude
Eat mashed potatoes in the nude
She don't care 'cause she's totally way rad, dude
Keep her television on all night
And turn on every single light
Tell her she's wrong 'cause I'm always right

[Chorus]

[Verse 1]

[Chorus]

She makes me sick

Bonus points if the new version pronounces her name right (it's "COMMA-la," not "ka-MA-la").

 

(*) Pray to all the gods you can think of that she is in fact the future Veep.

Edited August 12, 2020 by K'Z'K

[GreyhoundFan]

I saw a commercial for this crappy product the other night. I had to change the channel:

 

[fraurosena]

34 minutes ago, GreyhoundFan said:

I saw a commercial for this crappy product the other night. I had to change the channel:

 

Huh, and to think those white folks hugging and tugging their gawdawful ugly plushie Trumpy bear in public believe wearing a mask to protect your fellow humans makes them look foolish.

Edited August 12, 2020 by fraurosena
needed to ad yet another adjective

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

I love this revision of a great scene from "National Lampoon's Animal House"

[fraurosena]

 

[AnywhereButHere]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

I thought this one was both funny and terrifying:

 

[GreyhoundFan]