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If I were a fundie...


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What would you miss the most if you were a fundie? Lately every time I do something I think to myself...if I were a fundie, I couldn't do this--examples:

Playing Let's Dance 2 (Katy Perry has to be a no-no)

Have male best friends

Being ridiculously affectionate with my hubs in front of people

Reading smutty romance novels

Umm...going to college and having educated conversation

Questioning everything

music in general


What would you miss, or realize you wouldn't be able to do?

(For the record, fundie in my mind is any religion that allows for fundamentalism. I know fundamentalist Muslims that think so similarly to fundamentalist Christians that it scares me)

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Having a somewhat raunchy sense of humor... or any sense of humor at all

Making my own money

*Having* money

Achieving career goals

Having child-free time to myself

My best-friends relationship with my husband

Being free to read, watch, and wear what I want

Being free to question and change my religious beliefs

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I would miss a lot of things. I think that the Duggar/fundy daughters are missing out on their own childhoods and lives.

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I would miss:


-my birth control pills

-free time on the weekends

The other stuff I could probably deal with, but only because I have a very non-demanding husband and I'm naturally inclined to like domestic stuff like cooking and knitting.

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Where do I start? ;)



All of my friends and comrades

All of my political life and work

Being a trade unionist

Picking my own clothes and hairdo without having to fit an outdated ideal of femininity

Travelling and doing whatever the fuck I like

Going to party until 9am then going to the pub

Reading anything and everything

Being able to express dissenting opinions without being told off for not "keeping sweet"

Having control over my own lady bits

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Wow, when I think about it, I'd be giving up a lot.

1. My music, for one thing--I do listen to some Christian music but a lot of what I listen to is heavy, hard, sometimes controversial (depending on the content) rock-n-roll. And it was a lot of that "demonic" rock music that kept me from going over the edge at one point. That would definitely be gone. I also listen to a bit of rap and I know there wouldn't be anymore of that...heck, even my Christian CDs might not be good enough and I'd be stuck listening to only hymns and classical music.

2. Video games

3. Any friends that I made through the two things above, which would be just about all of them

4. No male friends, and if I were allowed male friends, I probably wouldn't be allowed to casually hug them as I am wont to do.

5. I could likely kiss college goodbye!

6. A good education in general for that matter!

7. Most of my books

8. Independence, never being able to make my own way in the world

9. (looks over some of the websites she has bookmarked) Oh my!

10. My vocabulary would definitely need a major cleanup

11. My dating (oh, sorry, courtship) pool would be majorly narrowed

12. The trusting relationship with my parents

13. My pants

14. And lastly, Christianity and open-mindedness would suddenly become mutually exclusive from each other. Or at least I couldn't display both on the outside.

Needless to say, I'm very thankful for the kind of life I've been blessed with.

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In no particular order:

Pants, definitely.

Listening to my favorite band. I don't care much for music except for that one band.


Being able decide for myself what is worth watching/reading, etc.

Believing that I can be whatever I want to be.

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Smoking ( it would be better for me thought)

And the most important sleeping all day

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Gosh, such a long list, where to start:


Reading books of any type I choose

Swimming in TYR or Speedo suits


Short hair

Not having to wear a head covering, they make my head itch

Having my own bank account

Having male friends

Having friends from other cultures

Being able to travel alone

And lots more.

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Pants (I am incredibly uncomfortable in skirts/dresses unless its 90+ degrees outside)

The pride of having a proper job and earning my own money

Spending my own money however I choose


Swearing a blue streak...

...In front of my parents

Vodka tonics with my mom

Just booze in general

Dancing, both in lessons and at parties

Parties in general: bad club music, grinding, jungle juice, flirting with boys, making out on the dance floor...


Swimming in normal suit, and not the aquatic equivalent of a frumper

Having guy friends

Stand-up comedy

Not having my parents assume/all but order that I'll get married and pop out a dozen kids and that's IT

Zoloft and therapy

Rated-R movies

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What great answers! I can't believe how much pants showed up.

Everytime I listen to a Katy Perry, or Ke$ha song I think.."umm...fundies would strongly disapprove!"

I would also miss...


wear tie dye

being a loudmouth

free choice

questioning religion--I hate that people take what are told to them at face value, and never with a grain of salt.

My awesome relationship w/ my hubs

Having a cleaning lady instead of doing it myself

being able to talk back!

My dirty sea shanties....

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- my kids' preschool shows

- my college years

- all the books I've read

- all the interesting people I've met

- living on my own

- therapy

- wine

- rediscovering my parents not as mom and dad but as fellow grown ups

- being taken seriously when I say something

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This tune keeps playing in my head whenever I read the title of this thread: If I were a rich man....

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-liberal politics

-Saint Rachel !!!!!

-Cable TV - Trueblood

-Being able to date who I choose and maybe/maybe not marry who I choose

-my education

-freedom to do as I wish - going to vegas 1-2 times a year

-having a few drinkies if I'm a mind to


-the news

-male friends

-tank tops when its 95 degrees

-general freedom to do what I want, when I want as an adult woman

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My education




Attractive clothing period

Independent thought

Margaritas, wine, and vodka

Having money

Having a housekeeper

My esthetician

My hair dresser

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Swimming in normal suit, and not the aquatic equivalent of a frumper

Shoot, how did I miss this? I already hate having wet fabric stuck to me which is why I prefer two-piece suits. I'd be afraid to go swimming in those swim-frumpers, they'd probably get too waterlogged and I'd drown!

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The freedom I have in my marriage

Learning instead of being told

Red wine

Having my own bank account and RRSP's

Meds and therapy - needed to get over crappy religious background

Public school for my kids

Playing more than just hymns on my violin

Being me instead of OfHubby

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Being able to touch my guy whenever I want even though we aren't married

My education

Wearing pants and shorts in the summer

Tank tops!


My own interests

Ordering take out when I'm feeling lazy

Getting my drank on

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Using my middle finger when necessary

My children's oh so subtle sense of humor

My jeans, above the knee skirts, shorts, tanks tops and the rest of my ungodly heathen wardrobe.

Calling my children heathens and sows.

Freedom to me, being able to voice how I feel, disagree with my husband.


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Id miss:

My son's impish personality


Hard cider

All of my Jewish friends

My slug pants (several pairs of scrubs my husband was given when various patients in his pt transporter job bled or barfed on him)

My cleaning ladies.

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Jeans, definitely.

Fuckin' swearing

Two-piece bathing suits, because I need an XS top and M bottoms :(

Learning on my own, instead of only being taught what my parents and Gothard/Dougie/SOS/CollegeMinus know

My wonderful boyfriend <3

swearing and shit


Unfiltered internet, and no, NOT so I can look up porn

The Smirnoff lemonade stuff, plus rum& fruit juice... delicious!

Swearing every other fuckin' word, bitch!

Not being expected to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. for anyone but myself or my 3 immediate family members (parents + younger sister).

Being myself instead of a SAHD/submissive wife

Harry Potter

Having a foul-ass mouth, motherfucker!

Governor's School

Shorty short shorts

Not raising my younger siblings- my younger sister is only 2 years my junior

Monty Python

Swearing, swearing, more fucking swearing...

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