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Jinjer 40: Still Waiting for the Baby


Coconut Flan

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Pregnancy left me disabled. I'm lucky because it could have left me dead. It's a pet peeve of mine to hear women who were lucky enough to have easy or healthy pregnancies poo-poo the notion that pregnancy is a serious health event with potentially long term consequences. It is truly awesome if you feel great while pregnant and are able to power through any unpleasant side effects, but that doesn't mean that your experience is everyone else's. 

 

 

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I was just thinking that unless we get some announcment between now and when ever Jinger delivers this will be the first time since I believe the time between Spurgeon's birth and the announcement for Henry that their hasn't been at least one confirmed Duggar Grandchild on the way. 

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5 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I agree. Same with those “but I had it the hardest...” games. I am often like, “well that must suck for you but honestly I don’t care right now cause while you might think my struggles are minor they are damn well bad TO ME and I decide what I think is hard.

So this might be corny, but I love this picture:

howdeepisthemuddependsonwhoyouask-150994

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A top exec in our corporation gave birth and returned to work almost immediately after recovery and didn't take the full maternity leave she was granted. I think the effect it had on many women under her was almost intimidation - women were then afraid to take the full maternity leave fearing their career advancement opportunity could be on the line.

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Just now, front hugs > duggs said:

A top exec in our corporation gave birth and returned to work almost immediately after recovery and didn't take the full maternity leave she was granted. I think the effect it had on many women under her was almost intimidation - women were then afraid to take the full maternity leave fearing their career advancement opportunity could be on the line.

I've seen this happen. Women who "dared" to take their full six weeks' unpaid leave were seen as "slackers" and "lazy."

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40 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I've seen this happen. Women who "dared" to take their full six weeks' unpaid leave were seen as "slackers" and "lazy."

And this is why I REFUSED to be part of the rat race. I didn't want a career I wanted a family, and I wasn't going to sacrifice family time for money.

 

This was MY CHOICE! I'm not knocking women who've made a different choice my hats off to them, I didn't want to do it, so I didn't, (and was lucky I could) and we are broke AF for it, but I wouldn't change a thing.

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Coming from a country where you have 480 days of paid parental leave, it's good to be reminded that it's certainly not everyone who has access to that privilege. I don't have (and won't have) kids myself, but I find it really strange that parents are expected to go back to work within just a couple of weeks...

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18 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I've seen this happen. Women who "dared" to take their full six weeks' unpaid leave were seen as "slackers" and "lazy."

Awful. The whole “macho pregnancy” thing drives me nuts.

With 1 child I was in full-time college classes until the day he was born, and had to go back a week later - I was torn to hell, could barely sit, leaking milk, was absolutely exhausted - and  all I heard was how f*&ng great it was that I was tough enough to be there. No. It was NOT great. It was stupid. ( bc failure combined with financial aid / deferred loans = crappy pregnancy / birth experience ) 

I later did a research paper for a class on childbirth and pregnancy customs. Guess what ? The idea of women working until birth and then immediately going back to it is a romanticized myth. It has happened throughout history - of course - to slaves, feudal peasants, factory workers in the industrial revolution - basically any system where women and children are disposable cogs. Or where people are very, very isolated and have no choice. 

 In every other cultural situation, women are cared for in the community for approx. 6 weeks before being expected to be fully contributing members again. The return is generally gradual, and in most societies, throughout history , around the world, the baby is with their mother throughout the day. 

Societies that allow mother and child time to heal, rest, bond, adjust to breastfeeding have universally better outcomes for both.

 

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Yep, we're currently making as many cuts as we can to try to save enough for me to take at least 6 weeks unpaid when our baby is due in March. My employer's parental leave policy gives between 1 and 4 weeks of paid leave. Because I'm new, I'll get one week. I signed up for short term disability as soon as I was able to, but it won't cover my time off after this birth because the policy was effective July 1st and I'm 6 weeks pregnant, so we miss that by a couple of weeks. The kicker for us is that my employer doesn't cover health insurance while you're on leave either, so we'll have to COBRA the whole family's insurance for that time period. I'm the primary income earner (and will be the only income earner after the baby is born), so it makes it tough too. We are lucky enough that we can make minor cuts in our lifestyle and some other financial changes (like not contributing to retirement as much for the next 8 months) and we can make it work. I'm so angry that other women have to go back to work right away and don't have those options. Something has to change. 

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My kid works at Google.   She has no intentions of having a child but said (teasing) that she'd love to fake it for all the wonderful benefits they give to new parents (of both sexes)   Amazing.

 

 

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