Messages from the Box: examples of Christian homeschooling texts

[older than allosaurs]

Have we talked about this Facebook page? It's a collection of outtakes from uber fundy Christian homeschooling texts, compiled, it says, by people who were subjected to them as kids.

 

[CyborgKin]

Wow, that's one of the most useless non-explanations I've seen that wasn't intentional for a joke.

[ophelia]

Oh come on! This has to be joke!! PLEASE!!

[AmazonGrace]

I don't understand Chinese, therefore no one understands it.

It is a complete and utter mystery: we can only see the signs but we can never find out what they mean.

[IreneIssh]

Oh my dog! I'm so excited this page exists! I have a 1970s Bob Jones University print Science textbook and it's one of my favourite possessions. It's absolutely fascinating how they present information about the earth and outer space. I may have to post some pictures tomorrow. 

Also, back in the 70s, BJU writers were apparently willing to admit that humans played a major part in global warming and that more needed to be done to protect the Earth that god gave us. Not so sure their textbooks would say that these days 

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, ophelia said:

Oh come on! This has to be joke!! PLEASE!!

Sadly no. @Gabe needs to check this thread out since he didn't seem to believe that Christian textbooks taught wrong information. 

PACE's view on the Civil War makes my eyes roll. 

[SnazzyNazzy]

I woke up the the whole house with my cackle. I admit, that I stopped reading after "electricity is a mystery".

"Electricity is a mystery" is being added to my repertoire, since the only thing that is in there right now is.....

Spoiler

 

[LadyCrow1313]

4 minutes ago, SnazzyNazzy said:

I woke up the the whole house with my cackle. I admit, that I stopped reading after "electricity is a mystery".

"Electricity is a mystery" is being added to my repertoire, since the only thing that is in there right now is.....

  Hide contents

 

Wait; are you saying that getting homeschooled turns you into a Juggalo? I'm not an ICP fan myself, but that would be a pretty funny side effect. 

(No disrespect meant to homeschoolers or true ICP fans, of course. Peace & love, peace & love.)  

[Loveday]

Ermagerd. The banner pic at the top of the Messages from the Box FB page is a quote from Michael and Debi Pearl.

This is going to be a gold mine.

[smittykins]

Cool, another rabbit hole!(Do the rescue ferrets go on FB?)

[Loveday]

Just now, smittykins said:

Cool, another rabbit hole!(Do the rescue ferrets go on FB?)

The rescue ferrets go everywhere, so no worries, we'll find you! 

[mango_fandango]

Wow. For a kid who may want to know what electricity is, that answer is fucking useless. 

"No one knows where it comes from" YES THEY BLOODY DO. 

Lightning is electrical, as Benjamin Franklin discovered. Surely fundies have an explanation for that?

[AmazonGrace]

19 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Wow. For a kid who may want to know what electricity is, that answer is fucking useless. 

"No one knows where it comes from" YES THEY BLOODY DO. 

Lightning is electrical, as Benjamin Franklin discovered. Surely fundies have an explanation for that?

 

Sure, it's a divine smiting system.

[Four is Enough]

OMFG. This is completely worthless.

[polecat]

When I started homeschooling, I used A Beka for language arts because I figured, "How bad could it be?" It was what I used growing up.

Then when my oldest kid was in second or third grade, we came across this definition: "A run-on sentence is a sentence that is too long." 

This is probably a fine and dandy definition for, oh, I don't know, a random fundy doofball mom who doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're," but I actually wanted my kid to be literate and to know that a run-on sentence was two independent clauses smooshed together without a comma/conjunction or semicolon. Like: "Jill's green eyeshadow is monstrous Lori's behaviour is also monstrous."

Petty? Maybe. But the A Beka LA books got chucked, and we moved on to bigger and better (and secular) things.

[sophie10130]

Oh mylanta they have a tumblr too.

messagesfromthebox.tumblr.com

[Howl]

On 1/3/2017 at 0:59 AM, older than allosaurs said:

Have we talked about this Facebook page? It's a collection of outtakes from uber fundy Christian homeschooling texts, compiled, it says, by people who were subjected to them as kids.

OK, this is basically my understanding of electricity.  It's magic!  Plug something in and electricity is brought forth.   It's slightly less mystifying than radio waves, TV and wi fi, but heck I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN THAT!!!!!!  

I'll just let myself out now. 

[louisa05]

On 1/4/2017 at 4:22 PM, polecat said:

When I started homeschooling, I used A Beka for language arts because I figured, "How bad could it be?" It was what I used growing up.

Then when my oldest kid was in second or third grade, we came across this definition: "A run-on sentence is a sentence that is too long." 

This is probably a fine and dandy definition for, oh, I don't know, a random fundy doofball mom who doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're," but I actually wanted my kid to be literate and to know that a run-on sentence was two independent clauses smooshed together without a comma/conjunction or semicolon. Like: "Jill's green eyeshadow is monstrous Lori's behaviour is also monstrous."

Petty? Maybe. But the A Beka LA books got chucked, and we moved on to bigger and better (and secular) things.

Did they still have benevolently racist grammar sentences when you used them? That was my favorite part when I had to teach out of them in Christian school. Especially since we had a student population that was about 20% non-white. 

[IreneIssh]

I pulled out the book and took a few pictures for y'all. Sorry the pictures aren't the best. 

I'll have to flip through it again and find all the good parts. It's been a while.

The Cover: 

Dedication page: 

A Note on the limitations of science:

Talking about the creation of the world:

A page from the super helpful glossary:

 

[polecat]

15 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Did they still have benevolently racist grammar sentences when you used them? That was my favorite part when I had to teach out of them in Christian school. Especially since we had a student population that was about 20% non-white. 

 

They probably did when I was in school (and I either don't remember them or they didn't ping back then -- I've been out of school a long, long time). But I stopped using them when my kids were pretty young, so I suspect they hadn't really gotten to that point at the curriculum yet. They did use lots of Bible verses and concepts, though. 

[Ali]

@IreneIssh Thank you for those pictures!

What kind of definition does it give for Natural Selection? If it argues against it, does it address Genesis 30:25-43?

[princessmahina]

I went to Catholic school and we used secular materials for everything but our religion class. I almost feel cheated after seeing these 

[IreneIssh]

2 hours ago, Ali said:

@IreneIssh Thank you for those pictures!

What kind of definition does it give for Natural Selection? If it argues against it, does it address Genesis 30:25-43?

There's no definition in the glossary for Natural Selection and it doesn't appear in the index either. Here's what it says about evolution, I'm just gonna type it out so it's easier to read. Things are slow at work today. Evolution is apparently only mentioned on three different pages, so I'll just type out those because it's pretty interesting. Also, sorry, this is gonna be long. (The bolding is mine) 

Quote

(from Chapter 3: Conservation & Degeneration) 

The Missing Process

One process you will never observe is improvement that occurs naturally. Improvement is the opposite of degeneration. Improvement would be like the pencils neatly arranging themselves on the floor or the lump of coal rebuilding itself from outer space. Improvement has never been observed to happen naturally (without the help of man or God).  

The theory of evolution is a concept built on the possibility of improvement occurring naturally. Men who believe in evolution can come up with a lot of long words and pretty pictures to illustrate their theory. Yet, it is scientifically unsound because it is based on the never-observed process of natural improvement. 

Do not be confused by man-made improvements. Men may design more efficient light bulbs and faster airplanes, but that is man-made improvement, not natural improvement. At the same time man is making these few improvements, degeneration advances in other areas -- a star burns out, a species becomes extinct, a well runs out of oil. 

Christians can deal with subjects of conservation and degeneration more easily than those who do not know the Lord. For one thing, we have God's Word  that gives us the truth about the origin of the world and the processes active in it. Also, Christians do not have to worry because the know God will provide spiritually for His children. "Lift up your eyes to the heavens and look upon the earth beneath: for the heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a garment, and they that dwell therein shall die in like manner: but my salvation shall be for ever, and my righteousness shall not be abolished" (Isaiah 51:6) 

Another mention comes in the chapter about Space Exploration, when talking about Viking I and II going to Mars: 

Quote

The Viking landers were very special space probes. Besides cameras and other instruments, both units contained equipment for detecting life! Evolutionists had hoped that some form of life could be found on Mars. Such a find would help support their belief that life "happens" by itself wherever conditions are right. For almost a year, both probes analyzed the Martian soil. Scientists connected with the project would have been delighted to find even microscopic forms of life in the soil. By the following summer, though, after all the experiments had been performed, they were forced to admit that there was no evidence that there is, or ever was, life on that cold, dusty planet. In addition, the detailed photographs that were sent back to earth showed no life at all--only barren fields of rocks and soil. After the results were evaluated the head scientist of the Mars life-detection team stated that this research made him realize how precious the life we have here on earth really is. 

The last mention comes from the last chapter of the book, simply titled "Miracles" (because, obviously that should be covered in a science book). It mentions evolution only briefly, and mostly to explain why Atheists are so misguided. 

Quote

Miracles as a demonstration of God's Power

Through the ages God has demonstrated His mighty power to mankind by acts that cannot be explained by the normal laws of nature. Almost from the very beginning, however, there have been persons who have refused to believe in miracles. Unbelief is nothing new. While men might like to use "modern science" as an excuse for their unbelief, the real problem is to be found in the sinfulness of the man's heart. This condition is a result of the fall of man in Genesis, Chapter 3. 

The unbeliever's thinking is not sensible. His attitude is, "If there were a God, He would demonstrate Himself to us by performing miracles to prove that He is there." Yet, when this same individual reads in Scripture that God has done just this very thing on many different occasions, he dismisses it by saying, "These things are too fantastic for any thinking person to accept." The unsaved man rejects God and His Word. You can see how he is the loser for his unbelief, for it even affects his ability to think clearly. 

Atheists have tried many different ways to explain away the biblical miracles. They have attempted to explain the miracle of Creation by unworkable theories of spontaneous generation and evolution. They have substituted a "more believable" local flood for the worldwide Flood described in the Bible. They have tried to explain the miracles of the Exodus by the action of natural law. Moses was able to lead the Israelites across the Red Sea because, they claim, the water was only a few inches deep. But then they are at a complete loss to explain how Pharaoh's army was drowned in such shallow water...

<skipping to another interesting paragraph> 

...Within the past few years it has become popular to explain away the biblical miracles as the trickery of space visitors. This is a terrible form of blasphemy. Abraham is said to have been visited by three spacemen. One of them (referred to in Scripture as the Lord) is claimed to have been the captain of the spaceship that brought them. Elijah is said to have gone to heaven in spaceship. The Christmas star is said to be have been a UFO. The angel who held forth his rod to consume Gideon's sacrifice was supposedly a spaceman with a ray gun! Although the general public is not aware of it, Christian scholars have proved these ideas to be false. 

So, yeah. They don't really do a lot of explaining or justifying of their ideas. They mostly just try to make "evolutionists" seem stupid. 

Also, don't mind any typos. I'm sure there are a couple. 

[FloraKitty35]

I went to Christian school for 12th grade and they used ACE curriculum, but they honored my science credits from public school.  (I missed out on some laughs with their views on science.)

[louisa05]

6 hours ago, polecat said:

They probably did when I was in school (and I either don't remember them or they didn't ping back then -- I've been out of school a long, long time). But I stopped using them when my kids were pretty young, so I suspect they hadn't really gotten to that point at the curriculum yet. They did use lots of Bible verses and concepts, though. 

I taught from the 9th and 10th grade grammar workbooks in the mid 90s. 

They had many sentence sets that were racist. They used words like "negro" or "colored" rather than "black" or "African-American", for starters. There would be sentences about some famous African-American figure and say things like how smart he or she was "for a colored person", and it was all very paternalistic.