Missions should be easy!: atheists only in NA, Europe

[samira_catlover]

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/06/south-carolina-pastor-bizarrely-claims-the-only-atheists-in-the-world-live-in-america-and-europe/

[lawfulevil]

Oh, oh, pick me! I'll go "convert the atheists." I've heard there's tons of atheists living in the following places:

-The south of France. Particularly on the nude beaches. How defrauding.

-Sonoma/Napa, California. Lots of vineyards, bike paths, parks, and cafes simply BRIMMING with atheists. I will rescue future communion wine from heretics and convert the heathens.

-Paris. The atheists are eating all the chocolate croissants. I'll stop them, I'll eat them all instead.

-Venice. They're probably hiding in the canals. I'll look very carefully and have the gondoliers prod with their oars. If I hear a squeak, it's either an atheist or a frog. Or an atheist frog.

-Florence. They're probably hiding in the museums and gardens. Perhaps behind all the sinful naked statues?

-Hawaii. I hear atheists LOVE surfing. Love it. I'll go tell them about Jesus, he liked to walk on water too. Surfboards are for the unsaved.

-New York City. Atheists love Broadway shows. I'll go to all of them, I'll make that sacrifice.

-Iceland. Atheists love global warming. Which means they love volcanoes, right? And hot springs. So they love Iceland, obviously. I better point out all the ice and tell them global warming isn't real and to repent.

Any other suggestions? Volunteers?

[samira_catlover]

8 minutes ago, lawfulevil said:

Oh, oh, pick me! I'll go "convert the atheists." I've heard there's tons of atheists living in the following places:

-Paris. The atheists are eating all the chocolate croissants. I'll stop them, I'll eat them all instead.

*Paging Hannibal Lector....*  

[lawfulevil]

What? You're saying I have to go on a mission to Chateau d'Yquem too? Well, okay...

[Childless]

I hear they like to frequent Carribean beaches too.  I'm not sure which ones though.  I guess I'll have to investigate them all.  This could take several years, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice to spread the word.

[AmazonGrace]

Hm, so you're saying there are atheists in China? where can I buy Wooden Plates?

[LeftCoastLurker]

20 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

What? You're saying I have to go on a mission to Chateau d'Yquem too? Well, okay...

Count me in!  Love me some Yquem. 

 

[mango_fandango]

The stupid. It burns.

[docmom]

I BELIEVE (because belief is all that matters, facts are way overrated) that there are atheists in Fiji.  I will go immediately to save their souls.  You may send your thank offerings to me immediately.

[polecat]

I've been called to minister to the atheists in Prince Edward Island.

No, it has nothing to do with my (maybe embarrassing) childhood obsession with Anne Shirley. Are you casting aspersions on my calling from God? This is what He wants me to do with my life! I need to minister to those godless Canadians!