WTF memories of religion when I was a kid. What are yours?

[dognshake]

I was raised in and still attend an SBC church and the only similarity I experienced was the rapture/hell thing. I'm an adoptee with lots of separation anxiety and abandonment issues so my biggest fear was being separated from my parents by being "left behind." That pastor growing up loved to preach about both subjects. Our current pastor doesn't believe in preaching like that. He hates altar calls too.

our pastor was super hardcore right wing loud mouth kinda of guy. We were considered a "mega church" at the time I went. So insane looking back on it now but I would definitely consider that church to be very right wing extreme, even for SBC. I got out of that in college and never looked back.

[GenerationCedarchip]

I was raised reformed. There's a lot of variety in reformed churches, even in the same denomination. I came from one that tended fundie, with some fundie lites mixed in. I grew up in one of the Presby denoms, but I know reformed Baptists and nondenominational folks who have stories similar to mine.

It's hard for me to organize the crazy stuff into a coherent narrative because it really permeated so much of my life. As a result, disjointed memories will just surface here and there for me.

One of the main things I remember is that suddenly at age 11 or 12, any time you spoke to someone of the opposite sex became highly scrutinized. And even at that age, we were given talks on preparing for marriage. Oh, and at age 12, suddenly a glimpse of knee was a huge transgression.

I also remember as a teenager noticing that even though forgiveness was preached from the pulpit, the gossip mill guaranteed that your every awkward misstep would be preserved and shared for months to come. For the guys it was a little different(they got more pep talks about "taking dominion"), but as girls, we were taught that a good marriage was our main aim in life. And we were lectured endlessly about purity, discretion, modesty, etc... I still remember the pastoral counselor telling us about a girl who was very flirtatious with boys and how the young men and their parents disrespected her, so she ended up unmarried and alone. He also used to tell us stories about how people who had sex before marriage somehow got "punished" with infertility later.

And I'm sure I'll think of more anecdotes, but those were the first that came to mind. I know there are folks on here who come from traditions similar to mine, so I imagine there are more stories out there.

[Tish Cook]

I was raised Catholic, I am no longer practicing.

I had a hellish year when I was 15...loss of my father, mother totally freaking out/becoming mentally unstable and basically abandoning me to my own devices. She literally once took off on a three week vacation to Ireland and left me 10 dollars on the kitchent able to "take care of myself with'. I couldn't drive, I ran out of food, you get the picture...

Anyway I went to the priest in our guidance office to try and get help and he said...and I quote

" When God is creating souls little one, there are some he pre-determines to suffer throughout their life. It is an honor to be chosen, many saints were, and this suffering will inhabit every aspect of your life as long as you live. You cannot change your destiny so you must learn to suffer joyfully. Perhaps entering an order (becoming a nun) would suit you well"

Totally F'd me up for YEARS!!!1

[sophie10130]

I was raised Catholic, but I don't really remember anything WTF from my childhood other than my mom telling me it was a sin to throw away money. In context, I'm not sure if it was literal (putting money in the trash) or figurative (wasting money on petty things), but I remember accidentally throwing away lunch money as a kid and digging through the garbage to get it back.

What really messed me up was going to all the different youth groups in all the different churches I went to in middle school and high school and having to prove that I was really a christian and not just Catholic. :roll:

I went camping with a youth group when I was about 12 or 13, and we were sitting around the fire at night and before we went to bed. The youth pastor started praying and ended with "And let us all pray for sophie10130's parents who are Catholic and that they find God before they die so that she may see them in heaven. Let us pray that one day sophie10130 can show them what it means to be a follower of Christ."

He always made a point that it was up to ME if I saw them in heaven, and if I didn't, then it was my fault and I wasn't righteous enough.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

Reading all these just makes me think of a line from a Jimmy Buffet song-

Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people!

:dance:

[gezykah]

When my Catholic mother and Baptist father married they each had a child. When I was born they couldn't decide what to raise me so even though my parents and sibling had "religions" I wasn't raised with any concept of it. I guess no Jesus was better than the wrong Jesus :roll: I was taught a few prayers but didn't think they had any significance. For awhile I even thought the holy spirit was the holy spare rib. It wasn't until my parents were divorcing when I was 8 that my father decided to send me to CCD since there was a Catholic church across the street from his house and he thought it make him look good during the custody fight. I was baptized and made my first communion in the same month. During my first confession I told the priest I didn't think I had sinned since I hadn't done anything worthy of god being upset about. At the first communion ceremony he told everybody what I had said.

After that my mother sent me to Catholic school for the rest of grade school. Some of the highlights included-

Having a priest tell my teacher I was correct and she was wrong during a class debate on the death penalty

The same teacher giving me an A for Religion but failing me for effort since I lacked faith

The same priest telling us that priests couldn't marry because the church didn't want to lose property to their families (I loved the priests at that school)

Getting my first detention for comparing embryos to shrimp when an anti-choice zealot guest speaker gave some teary eyed heal fire and brim stone lecture at our school complete with plastic embryos

I never really believed in God but almost doubted myself since so many people did believe. My father never tried to push religion on me to hard but my mother still does. Once when I was about 9 she told me when her grandmother who could not walk dies she would be young again and able to dance in heaven. This seemed really odd to me. I started to ask a ton of question such as if there's nothing wrong with being elderly and handicapped then why would God want to change her?

When it was time to make my Confirmation I did not want to but my mom guilted into it by mentioning her grandmother was in bad health and said it would kill her if she had to tell her I didn't want to do it. To this I asked why would you make a big deal out of telling her if you think it would kill her? The guilt set in and I ended up going through it.

My last confession was right before my confirmation. I basically decided if I was going to do this I would take it serious. When I went into the confessional I told the priest that I felt I was always encouraged to read a laundry list of little things during confession and questioned if I should really be asking bigger questions such as guidance on how to be a better person. The priest got really close to the divider and asked me, "Have you been doing bad things with boy?" I replied, "No have you?" He said, "Say a Hail Mary," and slammed the divider shut. It felt really awkward so I went to the alter, said my Hail Mary and sat down. I got some strange looks and a few people asked me if I had been really good since my prayers were over so quick. I told them no but I have a feeling the priest has been far worse.

Cardinal Law was suppose to officiate my Confirmation however this was around the time when sexual abuse withing the church started to be widely publicized so at the last minute they announced somebody else would do it. I remember several people in my CCD class being upset about it.

After my Confirmation I only went to church once. The priest gave his homily speech about a plane crash and said it was god's punishment since there were unmarried couples vacationing on the plane. I stood up and walked out. My mother and brother followed me. They both agreed what he said was wrong but she still kept trying to get me to go back to that church when we lived in that neighborhood.

I have a little cousin who I swear is following in my godless footsteps. Her mother has tried to bring faith in her life far earlier than my parents did for me but it's not taking. When she was four she touched a bible and her mother told her to be careful because it is a book about God and Jesus. My little cousin got excite since she thought my aunt said a book about Chuck E Cheeses. That was a few years ago but the girl still is convinced the Bible is about Chuck E Cheese.

[Sundaymorning]

Even though I didn't grew up in a fundie home at all, I still had to go to Religion class in school. One day the priest, who was teaching it, completely lost it when a classmate innocently dared to question how he (the teacher) could know for sure that the things written in the bible were really true.

I later had a few other moments, and I have to say I'm so glad that I'm not a Catholic anymore, I left as soon as I could.

[DaisyD]

I was raised athiest/agnostic. I was probably 5 when I asked my mom if Jesus was real. She said there was probably a man named Jesus who lived at some point in history. My parents were firmly agnostic, but my grandpa and his other kids were rabid atheists (are you really an atheist if you scream profanity at the sky when someone dies? I still don't know who my uncle was talking to. :? ) Anyway, I was arguing with adults about the bible from a very early age, parroting things I'd heard at home.

When I was like 12 I wanted to go to a cheerleading camp. I was quite stunned when I realized it was a Baptist camp. My "coach" sat me down and told me how she was so scared for me because I was going to hell. I managed not to roll my eyes at her, but I was in a place in my life where I was desperate to fit in. I allowed her to think she had saved me so that I wouldn't be out of place.

The whole thing was good training for the first time I went to dh's mother's church (we were dating at the time). I had never even heard of Assembly of God. :shock: We did get married in that church, but that particular pastor is awesome. He's so awesome he was excommunicated because he was straying to the liberal.

The same pastor dedicated my son, and I invited my parents (who have been going to Unity since I was in high school). They had a guest pastor that Sunday. Let's just say I got really uncomfortable and I don't know where my parents went. They flat vanished as soon as this guy started speaking in tongues. I thought the bible verse indicated that everyone was supposed to understand it. I must be a heathen.

I identify as spiritually Christian with no real dogma. Dogma gets people into trouble imho.

[ExCatholic]

Luckily my family wasn't very hardcore Catholic, so I didn't get this crap at home, but I went to Catholic school all the way through high school...some choice memories:

Every year the entire school would line up from kindergarten kids all the way up to eight graders and march around the school (and down the sidewalk of a very busy road) saying the rosary. Why? I don't remember, so clearly that lesson didn't take :) Each class had a leader with a bullhorn repeating the phrases we were to say.

In second grade one of the nuns was convinced that girls would get sick from playing outside, so the girls in her class had to wear their coats even in hot weather and they could not play on the field in case they broke a leg. I was in the other class, and I distinctly remember standing in the field inches away from my best friend on the pavement, who, being in the other class, was wearing her coat and could not cross onto the field.

Every so often we had to go to confession with the oldest, crustiest priest with huge ears...we would sit in the chapel and quietly coach each other on what to say to get an easy penance. Regardless of what you confessed the priest would ramble about the dangers of the boob tube and letting others get your goat.

In eighth grade we were given a writing assignment to argue for or against abortion. I knew there was only one right answer, so I wrote what I had to for a passing grade...but I wasn't happy about it.

At school dances we were told to leave some room for the holy spirit.

Despite that I have fond memories of the nuns. For the most part they were our allies and advocates. I'll never forget that Sr. Joan tutored my best friend before and after school to squeak her through math class.

[VodouDoll]

Not my story, but my friend was raised fundamentalist and one day his parents' pastor preached that TVs were satanic. Their TV had been just fine until then, but right after the pastor said they were evil his parents drove home, put their TV on the curb, and then made my friend and his little brother throw rocks at it to show Christ they repudiated Satan so hard they stoned him.

He's an atheist now. His parents were ridiculous.

[ADoyle90815]

There was a reason my parents didn't raise us in any particular church, and certainly not the Catholic church because of my grandparents. I did have a WTF moment when after a cousin of mine was baptized, I asked my grandma about doing something, probably playing quietly with toys, and she said I couldn't because it was my cousin's big day. I was 8 at the time this happened, and the cousin was male, so I got the hint that I was the black sheep because I was born a girl. As it turned out, that particular cousin was gay, and there were hints he was different, but as a child, I didn't know what being gay was.

I heard some crazy stories about my dad's childhood in that family, from the time when he and my uncles decided to put taps on their shoes one Sunday, and the church had a tile floor, so when they went up for communion, you can imagine what happened. As you would expect, my grandpa was extremely pissed off by that. My grandpa also had a thing where everyone had to go to confession, and he would make sure everyone had something to confess, and one of my uncles asked if he had to confess because he played with a dog down the street. I later heard that at his funeral, it was said that my grandpa was disappointed that none of his sons went into the priesthood, as they had all boys. It's no wonder, since the ones who wanted to, got married, and the ones who didn't marry were gay, and one of them drank himself to death because of the guilt from the Catholic church and his sexual orientation. The other gay uncle is the one who is batshit crazy and has caused the rest of us to cut him out of our lives.

[JuicyDuggar]

Another former RC here. I have to say my WTF moment came when I learned about the stories of Jonah and the whale and Noah's ark. I was 7 and at VBS and thought the little kid equivalent of "no fucking way did that really happen". Then the doubts started creeping in...

I do remember from early elementary my childhood best friend and I were talking about someplace we'd like to be if we could. I think I said Italy because I'm half Italian. She said nonchalantly, without looking up from her coloring, "I wish I could die and be in heaven so I could live with Jesus because I love him". And I'm over here like :shock: :wtf:

[Toothfairy]

That is so common. The rapture/hell is terrifying to think about! Once there were weird lights in the sky and my mom said, well there will be wonders in the sky before the rapture.

But my favorite thing she said, that fucked me up the most, is: "the bible says 'honor your father and mother and your days on the earth will be long' and you don't honor me. Your cousin didn't honor her mother and she got a brain tumor and died young" she kept reinforcing this, that I was going to die if I didn't worship her. Talk about manipulative.

This is the most fucked up shit I've read.

[Tdoc72]

My mom was Baptist & my father Roman Catholic but neither of them practiced. I wasn't baptized until I was 5 because they just didn't care. I think my grandma guilted them into it. I always went to Catholic school; my mom said it was just a better education. They divorced when I was 8 and my mom started dating (and married a year later) to a practicing RC. Then she converted and we started going to church every Sun & following all of the rules.

In 1st or 2nd grade, I remember asking my mom if heaven was so great, why didn't we all want to die? She said heaven was good, but we wanted to take our time getting there.

In 5th grade, we had to go to confession. I usually had the same sins: lying & disobeying my parents. But this time I confessed to committing adultery. Fr Joe stopped me and asked me what I meant. I said telling dirty jokes & saying bad words with my neighbor friend (same age). In my naïve little head, those were adult things. He then continued on & gave me whatever penance. That night at dinner, I told my parents we had confession at school. My mom asked what I confessed to and I told her. She started cracking up. She had to gently explain what actual adultery was, nicely told me that kids shouldn't be doing that (the jokes and bad words), and was vaguely upset that Fr Joe didn't explain or tell me to talk to my parents.

I went to church until I could drive. I spent about a year faking church w/my sister--hang out at a store or diner for 45 mins, stop by church & grab a bulletin for proof & go home. Until a Sunday, when we ran off the road nowhere near a church and had to call home. After that, my parents didn't bug me as long as I didn't tell my little brothers. (Later they would do the same!) All four of us no longer practice & neither does my mother. My dad is very devout & attends mass almost every day. My mom likes to say that he'll get into heaven, but he has to pray for the rest of us.

Now, I'm a non-practicing RC. While I believe that it gave me a good base, I refuse to believe that a murderer will get into heaven if he says sorry, but I won't because I didn't attend church. I still believe in a heaven/hell situation, mainly because the thought of just dying and nothing happening is depressing and sad. I joke that while I'm not evil enough for hell, I am prepared for some purgatory time. I have problems w/the pedophilia and stance on gays. If I ever decide to go back, I'd probably convert to Episcopalian. Religion is not a part of our life. The hubs doesn't believe in God and doesn't think about it at all. 2 of my girls are baptized because I thought it was important at the time. My last girl isn't. She was born 4 months before my biodad passed away. It got pushed aside w/his care (lived at his house for a month) & having a newborn. I went back to working nights, sleeping a few hours a day & being home w/3 kids. I barely remember those next 3-4 years. She's 8 now. I occasionally feel slightly guilty about it but not enough to remedy it.

I tell my girls that I believe in God, heaven, and being a good person. And that they can decide when they are older if they need religion in their life.

[Aurora rising]

My mum was not very religious (she found some esoteric stuff and believes later, but fortunately it was too late for me...) but a friend of mine was. I was often at their house when I was 7-10 and enjoyed it there (no fundies, very nice people). One day my Mum said teasingly "Oooooh, nobody loves me!" (don´t ask me why) and my very serious answer was a"Oh yes, JESUS does!" Her face was priceless.... :lol:

A friend of mine had a WTF-moment from hell: Her stepfather was abusing here. One day she dared to flee and went to the priest, barfeet and in PJ. When she told her story, the priest just said "Oh no, a good christian man doesn´t do things like this. Now be a good girl and go home!" Makes me still mad...

[morri]

well, The school class was about to go to the church (just to learn about churches and church service) and I thought they d go at the end of recess. at half time through recess (btw we actually have a 3 big breaks(varyin from 10 to 20 min) and small breaks of 5 min after every class) anyway it was the 20 min long one.

I wondered were my peers had gone and at the end when all kids were back in classes I realised theyd gone without me (which is a faux pas by the RE teacher (she was a bit nutty anyway)as they should have noticed when they left that a pupil was missing.

anyway recess just lengthened by 45 min xD.

[bettertomarry]

Not my childhood, but a favorite from my wife's. She was raised RC but nothing particularly hardcore, especially since they were an Air Force family living oversees.

One summer when she was at her Grandparents farm in rural, western Maryland (practically West Virginia) she saw a bunch of horses and tents in her Grandpappy's fields. Later that night she went to the tent with her Grandpappy and was very excited about the 'show' and especially the animals.

Years later she asked her Mom when the circus would be coming back. Her mother was genuinely confused and it took a lot of explanation before they realized what she was describing. The 'circus' had been a good old-fashioned tent revival complete with snake-handling and speaking in tongues.

[nibbles]

With the middle finger up, right? I knew that. But is it the same with it down, or does it mean something else?

To my knowledge, it's pretty much the same no matter what direction you point it.

[BullyJBG]

In 5th grade, we had to go to confession. I usually had the same sins: lying & disobeying my parents. But this time I confessed to committing adultery. Fr Joe stopped me and asked me what I meant. I said telling dirty jokes & saying bad words with my neighbor friend (same age). In my naïve little head, those were adult things. He then continued on & gave me whatever penance. That night at dinner, I told my parents we had confession at school. My mom asked what I confessed to and I told her. She started cracking up. She had to gently explain what actual adultery was, nicely told me that kids shouldn't be doing that (the jokes and bad words), and was vaguely upset that Fr Joe didn't explain or tell me to talk to my parents.

I did a couple of student-teaching semesters in Catholic school, and that's how these kids were taught to apply "thou shalt not commit adultery", because, technically, that act was something that didn't really apply to them yet. They were taught that it means be careful what you watch on TV and dirty jokes are often learned there, or by other kids, so watch who's influencing you. The "using bad words" I thought was closer to "taking the name of the Lord in vain". But, part of teaching the 10 commandments was that if you broke one you were actually breaking them all.

I don't really remember a bad experience with church; I grew up Mennonite and looking back, it was a healthy experience. Though being the oldest of 4, there WAS more pressure on me to "be a good example" and get blamed for my siblings' faults, thinking I led them there. And yes, those verses in Proverbs about "spare the rod and spoil the child" when I'd loudly protest that spanking was wrong and bad and I wanted to spank them back. Me and my brother tried to find Bible verses to prove that spanking is a sin, and found those teachings of Jesus about not paying back evil for evil, or "parents don't provoke your children to wrath". Didn't fly. But it did take years to see my parents as approachable enough to ask for help, without feeling like an immature kid.

I'm sad to read of all your such experiences, but I guess this is proof that God's presence is everywhere. A song comes to mind that says "God put a million million doors in the world for His love to walk through, one of those doors is you", so good to hear stories of some of your "doors". It's unfortunate so many of them got slammed in your faces.

[Season of life...]

Yet another former Catholic here. My mom and dad had fallen away from the church by time I was born, so although I was baptised I was never confirmed. We would pray and read the bible together, but it was very low-key and I enjoyed that time spent with my parents. Every so often we would attend mass on a holiday. I wanted to attend confirmation classes but the priest was awful to my mom and she wouldn't let me attend. This haunted her later on, and, as she was dying from cancer, she asked me to attend confirmation classes as she felt she had been remiss to allow her feelings to block my spiritual growth. I tried, but couldn't complete the classes. Every interaction I have ever had with a Catholic priest or nun has been negative--rudeness, condescending attitudes and I even had one priest roll his eyes at me simply because I said I didn't know which parish I should attend. Finally, at age twenty, I came to the realization that I didn't want to be a Catholic. The final straw came when a family friend, who couldn't afford to tithe monetarily, was told her children could no longer attend Sunday school. She had been cleaning the church weekly: waxing pews, scrubbing floors, windows, whatever needed done. Her time and labor was worth nothing in the eyes of the church. They shamed her.

I felt guilt for a long time because I couldn't complete my mom's last request. I had a communication from her several years after she passed that she was OK and in a good place. My experience shocked me, but gives me great comfort to know that whether I attend church or not, there is a bigger picture and having faith, rather than religion, does not damn someone for eternity.

[VelociRapture]

I can only think of one right now. For the record, I was raised Catholic. We attended religious class once a week, but we were never the types to attend Church regularly.

Before our Confirmation when we were 13, the Church held a retreat for us in the Church basement. We had pizza, snacks, soda, movies. . . and a guest speaker. This asshole was a born again Christian type of guy who was basically there to scare us all into being good little boys and girls.

He told us a story about when he was a preteen - God only knows if it was true or something he made up. He said there was a boy his age constantly being bullied. None of the kids, including this guest speaker, stood up for him. The bullying got so bad that this kid went into the garage and hung himself. The moral of the story was supposed to be that:

1. Bullying is sinful and you'll go to Hell if you don't repent.

2. Not standing up for others who need it is sinful and you'll go to Hell if you don't repent.

3. Committing suicide for any reason is sinful and you'll burn in Hell forever because you can't repent on Earth.

The first two points I could understand to an extent - it was the third that caused me to pause. This man never stopped to ask whether or not some of us had lost loved ones to suicide. I did when I was five. It was my Aunt and it changed my life forever.

So yeah. That's my WTF religious moment - the moment an asshole unknowingly taught a 13 year-old girl her beloved Aunt was being tortured in Hell forever because she had been strong for a long time and couldn't fight anymore.

[Lady Grass Lake]

Season, that old guilt hit me too. I chose to become Lutheran when I got married, but I believe no one sect or church has the only right way. Yet the guilt. When my first born needed to be sent to theNICU in another city and had a poor outlook, I insisted she be baptised before they took her. I knew rationally that a newborn woud not be able to enter heaven by not being baptised , but it made me feel better. Yhe funny thing about Limbo and Purgatory is the are no longer a concern.....poof they're gone. Your Mom would understand. Isn't the whole concept of faith what you believe in you heart and is not dependent on a fancy ceremony.

[Lady Grass Lake]

That last post should have said not being baptised would not keep a newborn out of Heaven.

[shedemei]

I hung out with some fundie-lights and went to their youth group for a few years in middle and high school because I was a social outcast and was desperate for friends. That's where I learned about bar codes being the mark of the beast (we'd be getting them on our foreheads during the tribulation).

But the biggest WTF moment came when I was invited to go on a spiritual retreat to a beach town (during winter) with a whole bunch of youth groups from across the country. I was so excited, because maybe I would find friends and have a good time socializing at a big slumber party! (I wasn't fitting in at the youth group at all, being a stealth non-believer). We had a seminar on witnessing, then we were handed tracts and herded into cars so we could go witness to strangers. I wasn't expecting that, and panicked, and asked if I had to do it. I was told I did and that we had to witness to a certain amount of people.

Fortunately, we got hopelessly lost on the way to our assigned destination and weren't able to stumble upon a suitable place for witnessing. Problem solved!

I had another WTF moment of the "what did I believe as a kid?!!" variety when I was early 20s when I learned from a very devout Christian that his church does not believe that the book of Revelation is literal prophecy and is instead a series of coded messages to churches in peril and persecution at the time it was written, which was never something I had ever considered as a kid. I was floored. k

[Season of life...]

Season, that old guilt hit me too. I chose to become Lutheran when I got married, but I believe no one sect or churchhs has the only right way. Yet the guilt. When my first born needed to be sent to theNICU in another city and had a poor outlook, I insisted she be baptised before they took her. I knew rationally that a newborn woud not be able to enter heaven by not being baptised , but it made me feel better. Yhe funny thing about Limbo and Purgatory is the are no longer a concern.....poof they're gone. Your Mom would understand. Isn't the whole concept of faith what you believe in you heart and is not dependent on a fancy ceremony.

Thank you, Lady Grass Lake. I sometimes still find myself falling back on familiar prayers as they make me feel better. I'm glad the baptism brought you some comfort. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your little one.