JB & Jchelle radio interview Flip Phones of Shame - Merged

[SayWhat]

They are so messed up on so many levels. Don't even know where to begin.

Woman can be just as visual as men. Nothing finer than admiring Daniel Craig walking out of the blue sea in those beautiful baby blue swim trunks ! Or in the new spectre turtle neck ! NIKE !

The main problem with the Duggar's logic is that when the children leave the nest and they can't stay forever, is that they need to deal with temptation without an accountability partner or parents to confess to. Most people just call that learning how to function as an adult or growing up.

I think Josh & Zach's weight issues, which the Bible refers to as gluttony are prime examples. Deprived of food / or tasty food, they both overcompensate. Notice Derrick or Bin do not have that problem.

JD, Joseph seem to have escaped that by manual labor and working out.

Other question is do Josh, Bin & Derrick carry flip phones of shame, marriage does not insulate you from pornographic images.

I don't even want to imagine the honeymoon if those boys didn't masturbate before marriage. Sex would be over in seconds. Please pass the :brain-bleach:

One of my friends has a teenage son with an iPhone. We've talked before about the challenges involved with raising a teen. Maybe the Duggars should purpose to spend some time listening to her approach.

Your friend demonstrates responsible and intelligent parenting :clap: . I completely agree that Mullet & the Boob need to purpose to learn from your friend.

[Sjestings]

So in life according to JB "Women aren't visual" I guess the next time my husband is working out I will remind myself that I am not supposed to be excited by what I see. What a fucking moron he is. Yes I like the emotional stuff but i sure enjoy looking at my husband. What a complete asshat. Sorry for the rant. :embarrassed:

[HarleyQuinn]

Thanks for the recap R&M!

LOL at girls not being turned on by images. I hope both Jana and Jinger have personal spank banks of shirtless men.

I'm extremely disturbed with them wanting to know their own children's most intimate thoughts. Those poor kids.

I'm also bothered by Michelle using "troubled women's" confessions as tools for what her daughters "shouldn't" do. Sounds like blaming the victim in some cases.

[calimojo]

I have no doubt that Michelle has used Susanna Keller and cousin Amy as examples of "troubled women" to the girls as well.

The need to know their children's inner most thoughts is disgusting to me. Mind police is very Orwellian. These kids have already had their privacy invaded by being forced to be on TV. Their childhoods have been sold for money and fame and then they aren't even allowed a small retreat of privacy within their own minds? I hope and pray that the kids are clever enough to just feed JB and M some bogus thoughts while they keep the good stuff to themselves.

And what makes me sick is that there are people who will be listening to that radio show thinking what great parents JB and M are and will try to do the same thing. While JB and M might be successful at getting these confessions from their children in a gentle way, you just know some leg humping religious wing nut is going to beat their poor child with plumber's tubing to force a confession from their satan infested soul

[Rainytown]

So in life according to JB "Women aren't visual" I guess the next time my husband is working out I will remind myself that I am not supposed to be excited by what I see. What a fucking moron he is. Yes I like the emotional stuff but i sure enjoy looking at my husband. What a complete asshat. Sorry for the rant. :embarrassed:

Women are visual. Well, women who enjoy sex are. I'm guessing Jim Boob's "wisdom" on the subject of what excites and entices a woman was gleaned from J-Chelle, who lies back and thinks of Gothard.

In the meantime, I can think of some sexy, SEXY photos in which the guy's fully dressed. Cam Gigandet and his baby, for example.

[LittleOleMe]

So in life according to JB "Women aren't visual" I guess the next time my husband is working out I will remind myself that I am not supposed to be excited by what I see. What a fucking moron he is. Yes I like the emotional stuff but i sure enjoy looking at my husband. What a complete asshat. Sorry for the rant. :embarrassed:

I guess that's why it was okay for Bin's penis to be in Jessa's face while she was bench pressing. Just seeing it that close to her, or smelling his ball sweat - which is disgusting - wasn't enough to turn her on and fill her with desires that could not be righteously fulfilled.

[JHeathen]

Soooo...if sexual temptation comes from SATAN before you're married...does it still come from satan AFTER the marriage? Because married sex is instantly A-OK. Does Satan call up god on the phone and say, "OK, they were pronounced husband and wife...their temptation is your job now." ???

[SassyPants]

I wonder if either JB or M have trouble keeping a straight face when they spew some of this garbage? :) :D :lol:

We once had a parish priest whose sermons were just words strung together, in no particular order. Week after week of no coherent message, just words. My hubs and I would ask each other questions about the sermon and both realized that the words spoken were not connected and had no meaning.

We suspected that substance abuse was the issue.

This is what I think about when I hear these rote phrases that spell forth from many of the Duggars' mouths.

[LittleOleMe]

Soooo...if sexual temptation comes from SATAN before you're married...does it still come from satan AFTER the marriage? Because married sex is instantly A-OK. Does Satan call up god on the phone and say, "OK, they were pronounced husband and wife...their temptation is your job now." ???

No no no. Marriage (between one man and one woman) is a holy institution set up by god. It is perfect bc god is perfect. Once you have sex, you are considered married to that person, hence why consummation is so important. If you are not a virgin when you get married then you and your children are cursed for nine generations. If you are cursed, it is more likely you will stray from god, unlike job. Satan is always trying to grab you and turn you from god. That is why he is constantly tempting you with sex before marriage. But once you are married, if you feel horny or the need for sex, you have a wife, given to you by god, so you can righteously fulfill those desires within you. A man's wife is really just a glorified masturbatory play thing. And bc men are visual and get tempted by these vision of satan all the time, this is why he needs to be in charge of the sexy time and why she must always give in to his desires, even if she is tired or not feeling well. But satan is still there. Even after marriage, a man can be tempted into adultery and this is also the work of satan. Sometimes satan even makes a man commit adultery with another man! Everything that is wrong in this world is the fault of satan, whose earthly name might very well be meg. Yes, satan is still there, tempting away, even after marriage. He's just tempting them in other ways, like adultery or birth control. Or long work hours that make getting up sunday morning too difficult, making the man a poor spiritual leader. Or not enough money to go around, forcing both spouses to work in order to pay for that private school, making the man a poor financial provider.

So in short, yes. The sexual temptations that occur after marriage are still from satan. They're just a different kind of temptation.

[Zungstache]

I am surprised that the posters to this forum are taking JB's claims that his sons came to him about being tempted by materials accessible through their iphones at face value. I just don't think that JB's boys "confessed" anything to him... until after they were caught. So either someone saw them accessing something that they shouldn't be looking at (possible because they have zero privacy), or they were caught by monitoring software that they essentially admit to using. Since there is no way that the boys did not know about the monitoring software, my bet is that thought they had figured out some way around it... which did not work. Or, they simply got caught red-handed using a work-around. Thus, they were issued flip phones.

Here's the thing that just does not ring true about the claim that the boys confessed to JB about being tempted: They already knew their phones were being monitored. So why would they still be tempted? I'm tempted to click on NSFW blog postings while at work all the time, but I don't because I know I will hear from IT (actually, I have no idea who I'd hear from because I've never actually done it). Yes, they are teenage boys, but they know they are being watched online.

I think this boils down to JB lying about two things: First, that the boys confessed to him that they were tempted. This is just him trying to explain away the flip phones without admitting that his kids had actually disobeyed him and, even worse, tried to look at pornography. Second, it avoids discussing the actual use of the software in real life. Either of the ways the boys were discovered looking at the "unapproved" materials could lead to an uncomfortable discussion of the implications of using monitoring software (including that kids are more tech-savvy than their parents and will just develop work-arounds).

A huge chunk of the posts in this forum address JB and Michelle's dishonesty with regard to how their family is presented to the public, why would this be any different?

[Rescinded and Mended]

I think it's definitely possible that some of the boys were caught looking at inappropriate pictures and websites online. Michelle complained that certain apps that the boys installed on their smart phones were capable of bypassing Covenant Eyes and other internet security software, so some of them probably did get caught in the act. What's funny, though, is that the guilty parties have been reduced to using the cheap flip phones when there are better smart phones available where you can simply disable the internet. I can't text at all on the tracfones, don't know how JB and M expect the boys to, either.

[Four is Enough]

Here's the thing that just does not ring true about the claim that the boys confessed to JB about being tempted: They already knew their phones were being monitored. So why would they still be tempted? I'm tempted to click on NSFW blog postings while at work all the time, but I don't because I know I will hear from IT (actually, I have no idea who I'd hear from because I've never actually done it). Yes, they are teenage boys, but they know they are being watched online.

At all the places I've worked, the people you hear from are from Human Resources, telling you to clear out your stuff.. and go home for good. I've managed to stay off Facebook and its ilk at work, but I know stories of others who had it go down exactly as I said..

AFA the Duggar boys, I believe that the misleading nature of some websites may have taken them to porn they didn't mean to watch... just try whitehouse.org or dicks.com... you might get a surprise you didn't expect. My boys discovered them when they were small.. we're talking 8 or so.. of course they showed their brothers, then eventually got around to me when one of them thought they might be watching something bad.... so perhaps the Duggar boys did the same, only to be told that their innocent searching for Dick's Sporting Goods got them... elsewhere.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Soooooooo to know which boys that were caught fapping to pornography, just look at which ones have the cheap flip phones. Thanks for outing your teenage boys for something that is perfectly normal. And if JD/Joe/Josiah have them, well ugh, shame on you even more for trying to control what an adult man does.

[Rainytown]

Soooooooo to know which boys that were caught fapping to pornography, just look at which ones have the cheap flip phones. Thanks for outing your teenage boys for something that is perfectly normal. And if JD/Joe/Josiah have them, well ugh, shame on you even more for trying to control what an adult man does.

If Jim Boob spends this much time monitoring his adult sons for any sign they have a normal sex drive and hormones, I have a message for him:

GET A JOB.

Seriously. I have mentioned this previously; I am still wondering. What the HELL do these people do all day? It's not like Jim Boob is helping out around the house or doing any of the outside chores, either. Jim Boob and J-Chelle are obviously obsessed with controlling and dictating "correct" behavior to legal adults who are being compelled to sleep in a room with elementary school age siblings and not allowed to access their earnings from the reality program they're also compelled to participate in.

Imagine how nice it would be for all concerned if Jim Boob and J-Chelle found something else to do with their time than prying into the lives of other adults.

[SassyPants]

If Jim Boob spends this much time monitoring his adult sons for any sign they have a normal sex drive and hormones, I have a message for him:

GET A JOB.

Seriously. I have mentioned this previously; I am still wondering. What the HELL do these people do all day? It's not like Jim Boob is helping out around the house or doing any of the outside chores, either. Jim Boob and J-Chelle are obviously obsessed with controlling and dictating "correct" behavior to legal adults who are being compelled to sleep in a room with elementary school age siblings and not allowed to access their earnings from the reality program they're also compelled to participate in.

Imagine how nice it would be for all concerned if Jim Boob and J-Chelle found something else to do with their time than prying into the lives of other adults.

A-Freaking-Men.

Doesn't the Bible address laziness, poor leadership and wasting talents/gifts?

The kids are lackluster because they had poor parental role models.

[CallmeChaCha]

Making your kids tell you all of their secret sexual desires is beyond disgusting. If they want to share, that's one thing. Making share? Just, no.

I'm curious what constitutes porn in that family? A hussy showing her knees and shoulders? Also, i wonder if the boys were really caught looking at knees, or did they get flip phones of shame because of some other stupid reason like J-kid #37 caught J-kid #23 using his phone unsupervised. Or J-kid #86 didn't want to 'fess up about his wet dream so they took his phone away because having a wet dream surely means he's looking at bare shoulders/knees on the iPornPhone.

These people are so ridiculous.

[Walking Cat Bed]

One of my friends has a teenage son with an iPhone. We've talked before about the challenges involved with raising a teen. Maybe the Duggars should purpose to spend some time listening to her approach.

Instead of being HORRIFIED that her baby was curious about pornography and sex (because he's a normal teenage boy with hormones and a sex drive, thank you) she sat him down and explained the reasons why he shouldn't be accessing that material on his iPhone instead of flipping out. Porn is not real life. In other words, the images are generated to excite and not instruct. She told him why it's important to NOT open or look at images he might be sent by another teenage girl for any reason. She's also talked with both of her sons (the other is a pre-teen) about consent and why it is important to treat women as equals. This has been an ongoing effort. I also know he's talked with her about issues I'm sure other parents (looking at you, Duggars) would freak out over, she's remained calm, answered his questions and done her best to keep a dialogue going.

This is a parent that will make sure condoms are available to him and encourage him to use them when the time comes, as well as making sure the young woman in question is consenting.

I think she's doing an incredible job. And I'm sure her calm acceptance of his impending adulthood and the reality of the fact that it's normal for a sixteen-year-old to have a sex drive has gone a long way to ensuring he thinks before he acts in all instances.

And I agree that "personal pornography theater" and "flip phone of shame" should be added to the post count pantheon. ;-)

Well, sure, developmentally-appropriate guidance (and entertainment) are important.

Honestly, I'd spend time talking about the cost of data streaming and how many free porn videos have viruses attached to them (and telling said kid that they're financially responsible for overages or any repairs/replacements that need to be done due to their entertainment choices, regardless of whether it's porn or Candy Crack).

[Walking Cat Bed]

If Jim Boob spends this much time monitoring his adult sons for any sign they have a normal sex drive and hormones, I have a message for him:

GET A JOB.

Seriously. I have mentioned this previously; I am still wondering. What the HELL do these people do all day? It's not like Jim Boob is helping out around the house or doing any of the outside chores, either. Jim Boob and J-Chelle are obviously obsessed with controlling and dictating "correct" behavior to legal adults who are being compelled to sleep in a room with elementary school age siblings and not allowed to access their earnings from the reality program they're also compelled to participate in.

Imagine how nice it would be for all concerned if Jim Boob and J-Chelle found something else to do with their time than prying into the lives of other adults.

They try to do that with adults they didn't procreate when it's not their own kidults. So, that's one answer?

Well, that and not-trying-for-20-but-really.

[Cleopatra7]

Making your kids tell you all of their secret sexual desires is beyond disgusting. If they want to share, that's one thing. Making share? Just, no.

I'm curious what constitutes porn in that family? A hussy showing her knees and shoulders? Also, i wonder if the boys were really caught looking at knees, or did they get flip phones of shame because of some other stupid reason like J-kid #37 caught J-kid #23 using his phone unsupervised. Or J-kid #86 didn't want to 'fess up about his wet dream so they took his phone away because having a wet dream surely means he's looking at bare shoulders/knees on the iPornPhone.

These people are so ridiculous.

Now that I think about it, I think it's unlikely that any of the J-boys would actually be looking at porn, at least in the same way that a regular teen would. First, these boys are never alone, and there are probably time limits for bathroom use. I have a hard time believing that the boys wouldn't have to have Jana or another "accountability partner" even when using a smartphone. Second, there are so many hurdles in place with filters and the like that I doubt they could even get to anything remotely porn-y. I know that many, if not most kids, can get around filters, but I seriously doubt that the J-kids are as computer literate as their non-Gothard peers, simply because of their overall educational neglect. Plus, JB and Michelle have a very broad notion of what constitutes "inappropriate." For all we know, one of the J-boys could have been on the NASA site or another educational site that contradicts creationism and that could have been an occasion for a parental melt-down. Or maybe they were on the ATI site and were spending too much time looking at frumper clad HQ interns. JB and Michelle are just so ridiculous, there's no way of knowing what's really going on.

[Rainytown]

Well, sure, developmentally-appropriate guidance (and entertainment) are important.

Honestly, I'd spend time talking about the cost of data streaming and how many free porn videos have viruses attached to them (and telling said kid that they're financially responsible for overages or any repairs/replacements that need to be done due to their entertainment choices, regardless of whether it's porn or Candy Crack).

I don't think she's as concerned about the overages as she is if he was engaged in something that could have serious future repercussions, like sexting or thinking that porn is anything like real life. I've had more problems in the past with my HUSBAND and overages on his cell phone than she's ever had, and that came to a halt when he realized there were consequences to a huge cell phone bill around here.

I know she keeps an eye on what her kids are doing re: computers and access.

My biggest point (and I do have one) is that it is interesting to me that other parents can realize their kids are growing up and give them the freedom to make choices. The Duggars stifle their kids at every age and don't encourage any kind of honest dialogue with a number of subjects, not just sexuality. No matter how many apps they put on their kids' phones (or doom them to using the Flip Phone of Shame) instead of the "testimony" they think they're presenting, they're showing themselves to be pathologically obsessed in the lives of their adult children.

[marieantoinette]

It really bothers me how Boob and Michelle pretend they experts at everything! My oldest son is only 8 and unfortunately, he knows more about sex than he should because i don't shield him from much on TV or the internet. There was times when there was explicit sex in a movie and I would change it if it was graphic but if it's just boobs, I don't bother. I don't want him to think of boobs as strictly sexual. When he would see them, he would freak out and say "ahhh! Boobs!" And i normally just remind him that he needs to chill out because these days, people don't hide them like they used to. You see women in low cut shirts everywhere and even breastfeeding in public is more common, so he needs to just calm down! And I'm a firm believer in the more you shield your children from things, the more they want to see it. And if you restrict everything, any chance they get to explore, they are going to obsess about it. Now telling your children that sexual images on TV or on the Internet are just ways for Satan to into your head is another story. Those Duggar boys probably imagine their skin burning if they see cleavage, scaring them half to death. Once they get married, how will they get passed that? They don't realize what kind of damage they are causing to their kids by pounding into their heads that it is Satan! At their ages, their brains can't comprehend Jim Boob and Michelles point of view. I really wish they would open their eyes and get their kids to a therapist before it's too late.

[WhyNotJulie]

I've been a long-time lurker of this forum and JB & J'chelle's comments about "personal porn theatres"and FJ's "flip phones of shame" made me laugh so hard that I had to cave and make an account. Great job, FJ.

[amster]

Here's the thing that just does not ring true about the claim that the boys confessed to JB about being tempted: They already knew their phones were being monitored. So why would they still be tempted? I'm tempted to click on NSFW blog postings while at work all the time, but I don't because I know I will hear from IT (actually, I have no idea who I'd hear from because I've never actually done it). Yes, they are teenage boys, but they know they are being watched online.

As someone who works in IT, you probably wouldn't hear from us. We have so much going on behind the scenes, unless you work in a big organisation with a massive IT department (and budget), we aren't monitoring your internet usage. Yes, we have a firewall, and things are blocked, but we watch what every user is doing.

[busdrivingmom]

I feel bad for the duggar kids. They don't get anything in life that's "normal" to me and they don't ever get to grow up in their parents eyes. My kids both have smart phones (it was a good deal and we don't have a home phone anymore) and I think we monitor them better and more reasonably than JB and Michelle. Yes, my kids have looked at things or downloaded apps I don't think are appropriate for their ages, however they did not get crappy flip phones as punishment. We talked about it and I explain why I don't feel those things are appropriate and deleted them from the phones. There are times my kids will show me things and ask if they are appropriate to view. I research it and let them know yes or no. I also make the kids friend me on any social media they are on so I can see what they are doing, but I leave them alone. We also will talk about TV shows or movies we watch and I have done that with both of them since they were little.

[Mela99]

I don't get his comments on feelings. They're perfectly normal but they exist because Satan has infiltrated your brain?