Happy 22nd Seth Arndt, Are birthdays really better each yr?

[So Many Lies]

Creepy speculation aside, I wouldn't want cake in the bedroom. Especially not if I had a deck.

I do wonder how they've brought those sons up. How could it be that none have rebelled?

It is possible that they have but have been brought back in line. I'm sure these blogs are propaganda and sanitized. I get the same vibe from other blogs, like 7 sisters.

[Mama Mia]

You really can't just look at a few photos in a vacuum and understand the depth of the bizarreness of the Arndts. Daddy packages the media very carefully.

Paul Arndt will almost certainly have his 34th birthday celebration this coming year in his parents' bedroom as well. As will probably all of his 9 adult brothers. One can argue that "it's just what they want" but somehow I find that a bit difficult to believe. No doubt its what their parents want and the big mystery is how they are managing to keep all of their adult offspring doing their bidding, especially when you consider they are all guys.

I agree that it's the total package that makes it so strange. Playing with penguins or Legos, sure. Family tradition of birthdays in the folks bed...ok. Everyone still living at home, possible. But add that together with NONE of them having any kind of outside serious relationship, ever? The total picture just seems highly unlikely without some serious emotional crippling by the parents.

[formergothardite]

The individual things by themselves are not that out there. But when you put it all together it creates one really strange family dynamic. They aren't normal.

[AuntCloud]

The individual things by themselves are not that out there. But when you put it all together it creates one really strange family dynamic. They aren't normal.

No, they Arndt normal. There, I fixed it.

[Childless]

The abnormal thing for me is the fact that so many of the children are adults and not one of them has started their own life. I can see it being the case for one or two, but every single one of them? Something in that household is not right.

[moodygirl86]

No, they Arndt normal. There, I fixed it.

I see what you did there, AuntCloud...

[So Many Lies]

The abnormal thing for me is the fact that so many of the children are adults and not one of them has started their own life. I can see it being the case for one or two, but every single one of them? Something in that household is not right.

What is their method. I wish I knew. I could use some of that non-questioning thing here. The more I berate my kids and jump up and down or peacefully try to reason, the more they look at each other like "the old bat is crazy. Let's not listen". I guess this should have began way back at the blanket stage....I kid (sort of)

[thoughtful]

I see what you did there, AuntCloud...

According to the "meet the Arndts" page on their website:

The Arndts have heard the Arndt/Aren't pun 1,584 times.

With anyone else, I'd assume that was a joke, with a number chosen at random. But, with them -- who knows? Maybe they keep track! ;)

Wonder if any of those times were people asking "Why Arndt those grown men making lives for themselves?"

famteam.com/meet/

[Miggy]

I find the strangest thing is watching videos of Mark, Paul and others doing wedding videos/photography, they come across as so normal. The way they dress and talk to people makes them seem like anyone else. A couple of brothers running a business together is not unusual and I sure if you met them in the context of their business you would assume each went home to his own wife and family.

Most of the families we snark on here dress differently (7 sisters) or move as a group (Duggars) which gives you the clue something is up. In the case of my family, a large group of teens & young men all wearing 1950s style suits is a pretty good indicator something is up. The Arndts don't give any clues that something really odd is going on,

[So Many Lies]

Maybe life really is so so awesome for them. Is it possible they don't want anything else in life? Wow. I was plotting and scheming to escape at a pretty young age. My homelife drove me crazy. But then I didnt have all these same sex sibs to play with all day and my parents didn't organise me into the fam business or anything. I wish I knew more.

[Peas n carrots]

The only thing I can think of is that the Arndt boys are genuinely happy. There could be some disgruntled men, but at least we haven't seen it.

Anyways, I imagine it would be hard to be the first Arndt man to court and marry. They would be separated from the only support system they ever knew, and would have to leave the penguin and Legos behind. I liken it to being in a fraternity where the never have to leave after graduation...they get to be forever man children without the drunkeness.

Not saying it isn't weird to have so many grown men living with their parents. But I don't get that Ma and Pa Arndt are working very hard at getting those boys out of the house either.

[nokidsmom]

You really can't just look at a few photos in a vacuum and understand the depth of the bizarreness of the Arndts. Daddy packages the media very carefully.

Paul Arndt will almost certainly have his 34th birthday celebration this coming year in his parents' bedroom as well. As will probably all of his 9 adult brothers. One can argue that "it's just what they want" but somehow I find that a bit difficult to believe. No doubt its what their parents want and the big mystery is how they are managing to keep all of their adult offspring doing their bidding, especially when you consider they are all guys.

This right there.

I would agree that maybe 2 or 3 might find the life of an Arndt awesome and want nothing else. But nine adults? All guys? No way. There is definitely something going on and it's all having to do with Mom and Dad. They have managed to train / indoctrinate nine guys to not leave home, not have any kind of relationship, play with Knex and penguins, and wait for Princess Charming to drop out of the sky with no effort on their part. And manage to get them to work while Daddy does his video / movie or whatever the hell it is.

It has been suggested Stockholm syndrome (JJ, I believe?) and I agree. But that's for the guys. It still doesn't explain what kind of hold the parents have and what they have done / are doing to achieve the truly remarkable feat of keeping nine adult men at home with absolutely no inclinations towards moving out and making a life on their own.

ETA: Also, there's been absolutely nothing on the girlfriend / wife front. Now these guys are reasonably attractive (not gorgeous but OK) and get out between their jobs, Famteam, working out. They have had to have met someone who liked them. Either they are driving away any interested parties off due to impossible expectations or Momma scares them off, or word has gotten around in those parts that this family is weird.

[Closed Womb]

I think they are presented with the cake at the spot where they were conceived. For most of them this was somewhere in the bedroom. But someone this last year got his cake out in the back yard.

When I was a kid, getting to be in my parents' bed was a big deal. It was a huge "prize" to be able to lie down in the big (queen sized! :D :D ) bed and watch cartoons on the little black and white tv. It usually only happened when we were home sick or something. Anyway, I always assumed mom and dad's bed had the same kind of status in their home...it was a special treat for the kids. Of course, it's gone waaaaaaaaay past the expiration date, if that's the case. Like 10th birthday should have been the cutoff.

[Mama Mia]

I suppose its possible they are all just very slowly maturing, extremely introverted, asexuals, so the staying at home forever with no partner is their ideal. But it seems unlikely that So many of them would have that exact same personality. You would think at least one of the older ones would have brought someone home, even if they didn't want to get their own place.

I think there are a fair number of young adults who might not want to leave home, or find someone to bring home, but several of the Arndts are in their late twenties/ thirties, right?

[Hane]

I think there are a fair number of young adults who might not want to leave home...

True. Among the young adults I know, the guys in particular seem to need to be firmly pushed out the door and into adult life. Case in point: My 27-year-old nephew, who is an only child and never attended college away from home. His girlfriend (whom none of us is crazy about owing to her issues--her child is in custody of DCF and she's a pathological liar) recently lost her apartment and moved in with my nephew and his parents. He is crazy about her, and his social-worker parents are praying it'll fizzle out. When his parents announced to them, "Now that the two of you are in a committed relationship, it's time for the two of you to move out and into your own apartment," he was SHOCKED.

By contrast, my daughter couldn't wait to get out the door and into a place of her own.

[Dandruff]

Could it be that the parents exerted their influence on the first few kids (whatever was going on there) and the rest of the flock are just emulating?

[NotALoserLikeYou]

When we read that the Maxwells did not spank their kids, but instead would pull them into the prayer closet and pray loudly for them, weeping and begging the Lord that they would be spared from the eternal torment of hell, I think we saw how such methods terrified them into compliance. There has to be something like this here, starting when they were small. Even the pearls admit they have happy kids only after they have broken them.

[scc12]

I imagine they may have over-exaggerated the perks as well.Like,life outside the house is expensive on your own,etc.Just stay here and we'll take care of it all.No hurry,no worry.Plus they get to eat homecooking,I would presume?They don't have to worry about anything other than working.

[nokidsmom]

True. Among the young adults I know, the guys in particular seem to need to be firmly pushed out the door and into adult life. Case in point: My 27-year-old nephew, who is an only child and never attended college away from home. His girlfriend (whom none of us is crazy about owing to her issues--her child is in custody of DCF and she's a pathological liar) recently lost her apartment and moved in with my nephew and his parents. He is crazy about her, and his social-worker parents are praying it'll fizzle out. When his parents announced to them, "Now that the two of you are in a committed relationship, it's time for the two of you to move out and into your own apartment," he was SHOCKED.

By contrast, my daughter couldn't wait to get out the door and into a place of her own.

You make an interesting point. I have seen where guys need to be pushed out the door (and try to hang unto their current deal) whereas young women not so much. I couldn't wait to get out of the house myself. While in college I was briefly engaged to a guy in who get married while we were still in school. The reason? We could live in the basement apartment of his grandparent's house (he lived with them after being sent away by his dad because his stepmother was abusing him) and all would be fine and dandy. Well, I wasn't on board with that between being in college but also I wasn't comforted with being supported by grandparents. But it was no big deal to him. He couldn't understand why I had a problem with that. I felt once I moved out, I truly moved out!

[JenniferJuniper]

I imagine they may have over-exaggerated the perks as well.Like,life outside the house is expensive on your own,etc.Just stay here and we'll take care of it all.No hurry,no worry.Plus they get to eat homecooking,I would presume?They don't have to worry about anything other than working.

Still, one would think the typical sex drive of young men would eventually win out. It's not like these guys are allowed normal relationships with women. They're required to patiently wait for "God's best", which apparently means they aren't allowed to make any moves on their own. They have to wait for God to make the introductions.

As someone mentioned up thread, the parental control has probably been strongest on the older sons. Hopefully one of the middle sons will break away at some point and give the younger set a chance to get out. If things continue as they are, in 10 years there will be sons in their early 20's living with brothers as old as their mid-40's. It's hard to imagine that not being a serious wake-up call for the younger ones, especially considering that the Arndts are semi-worldly.

[scc12]

I agree,something is very off.maybe they all have low T? doesn't seem like their dad does though.

[tigerchild]

Wow, I am a little horrified that they start each birthday in their parents' *bedroom* with the cake? I thought maybe they just surprised him with his or something, like breakfast in bed (except I would have assumed they'd then carry it out to the kitchen/dining room or whatever). Though I guess family traditions and all that, with the typical fundie obsession with sex and the marital bed that kind of skeeves me out. This may be a defect on my part though.

When I was growing up, daughters were guarded and expected to remain at home to retain their virginity, but sons were pushed out of the nest really fast to man up. I am pretty sure ATI has always been keeping your claws into all children as long as possible, though based on what I learned going to the life principles shit. But it is pretty disturbing how many of the fundie families (not just certain groups!) seem to be trying to cloister everyone.

Another case of parents who have no idea what that does to someone (as most never experienced it themselves, they're converts) liking something in theory and really kind of ruining a lot of their kids as a result. :/

[Mama Mia]

Still, one would think the typical sex drive of young men would eventually win out. It's not like these guys are allowed normal relationships with women. They're required to patiently wait for "God's best", which apparently means they aren't allowed to make any moves on their own. They have to wait for God to make the introductions.

As someone mentioned up thread, the parental control has probably been strongest on the older sons. Hopefully one of the middle sons will break away at some point and give the younger set a chance to get out. If things continue as they are, in 10 years there will be sons in their early 20's living with brothers as old as their mid-40's. It's hard to imagine that not being a serious wake-up call for the younger ones, especially considering that the Arndts are semi-worldly.

Yeah that's the part I find strange. I know very few young adults who actually get their own place independently. They almost always live at home until they get a place with a partner, primarily because they can't afford $1,100 a month for a studio apartment until they are mid-twenties. But they do date and have relationships.

Eventually It's almost always the girl who will push for a place though. Most of the young guys seem like they would happily stay at home with their folks forever, but I can't see that happening if they couldn't have physical relationships !

[So Many Lies]

I believe there might be some truth in the idea that girls are kind of hard wired to forge ahead and make their own households, whatever form that may take, whereas some guys might be more inclined to move the GF in with their parents. Or in the Arndts case, build a house right there near Ma and Pa.

[So Many Lies]