3rd anniversary of AS Botkin's post re: singleness

[Seven Severn]

http://visionarydaughters.com/2010/10

She does her damndest to justify her situation in life. Three years on and nothing has changed for her.

[Jencendiary]

If she wanted to be married, she'd be married.

She wants to sell webinars about beauty and not give birth to a litter -- excuse me a quiver -- for some faketriarch.

Can't knock her hustle.

[salex]

http://visionarydaughters.com/2010/10

She does her damndest to justify her situation in life. Three years on and nothing has changed for her.

I like that the ad on her page is "Are your children ready for life?"

[Marian the Librarian]

I like that the ad on her page is "Are your children ready for life?"

That's REAL life, per the title of their most recent webinar. (As opposed to the make-believe lives being led by the rest of the human race, don't'cha know.)

[ILoveJellybeans]

Its never going to happen. She is going to be single when she is 45. Sorry Anna Sofia, but instead of preparing your heart for marriage and motherhood, you need to start reading on caring for the inevitable "quiver" of cats.

[salex]

That's REAL life, per the title of their most recent webinar. (As opposed to the make-believe lives being led by the rest of the human race, don't'cha know.)

Thank you... Let me think on this.

Life. Me vs The Botkins SAHD

Me at 20 years of age..... My parents thought I was too young, didn't know the man well enough and should finish college before I got married or I'd probably never finish. They do, however, pay for a late 70s cake and punch wedding.... after which I move to another city and find a job. Hubs

Them at 20. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God.

Me at 25. Working full time and Hubs was working full time- possibly different shifts-- any housekeeping skills I had were being use managing my own household. Learning the ins and outs of corporate politics and coporate layoffs. Having more sex than even SSM's husband could imagine....

Them at 25. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God. Writing sad blog entries about how some girls can't keep the faith when it means living in stasis, writing the same articles, learning the same skills, giving the same presentations. May or may not be untying daddy's shoes at night.

Me at 28 After a long year of working 60 hours a week while DH was working 80/week, quit job to go back to grad school full time. Have to touch up on the advanced housekeeping skills after letting my weekly housekeeper go since grad school will consume less time than the time I'd been putting in at my previous job. Still screwing like mink whenever we are both home, often to the detriment of advanced housekeeping being completed. Managing household accounts, schedules, etc and living away from my parents for a decade, since I left for college at 17.

Them at 28. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God. Create a book on Beauty (because, the older you get, the prettier you had better be if you are going to land a husband, or you'll be untying dad's shoes forever) and lecturing on preparing children for "real" life, based on what you experienced as a child and what you have seen from the confines of the fishbowl in which you live.

I'd pick my life, thanks. I hope they can honestly say they are happy with theirs. When I was 28, I was not thrilled with my work life, so I changed it. I am not sure they have that option.

[gustava]

I think they're too in love with Daddy to marry anyone else.

[Marian the Librarian]

Thank you... Let me think on this.

Life. Me vs The Botkins SAHD

Me at 20 years of age..... My parents thought I was too young, didn't know the man well enough and should finish college before I got married or I'd probably never finish. They do, however, pay for a late 70s cake and punch wedding.... after which I move to another city and find a job. Hubs

Them at 20. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God.

Me at 25. Working full time and Hubs was working full time- possibly different shifts-- any housekeeping skills I had were being use managing my own household. Learning the ins and outs of corporate politics and coporate layoffs. Having more sex than even SSM's husband could imagine....

Them at 25. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God. Writing sad blog entries about how some girls can't keep the faith when it means living in stasis, writing the same articles, learning the same skills, giving the same presentations. May or may not be untying daddy's shoes at night.

Me at 28 After a long year of working 60 hours a week while DH was working 80/week, quit job to go back to grad school full time. Have to touch up on the advanced housekeeping skills after letting my weekly housekeeper go since grad school will consume less time than the time I'd been putting in at my previous job. Still screwing like mink whenever we are both home, often to the detriment of advanced housekeeping being completed. Managing household accounts, schedules, etc and living away from my parents for a decade, since I left for college at 17.

Them at 28. Stay at home daughters taking care of Daddy, writing about advanced housekeeping skills, staying pure and waiting for God. Create a book on Beauty (because, the older you get, the prettier you had better be if you are going to land a husband, or you'll be untying dad's shoes forever) and lecturing on preparing children for "real" life, based on what you experienced as a child and what you have seen from the confines of the fishbowl in which you live.

I'd pick my life, thanks. I hope they can honestly say they are happy with theirs. When I was 28, I was not thrilled with my work life, so I changed it. I am not sure they have that option.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[HereticHick]

Hey, caring for a houseload of cats can be a MINISTRY don't you know?

[browngrl]

Isn't AS's father the man who prayed over his newborn daughter's ovaries - predicting that she would give birth to God's holy army? So if God wants AS not to be married early enough to give birth to many many many children doesn't that mean that God also doesn't like her father's ideas?

[fatcat]

Wow, has it really been three years? Time flies.

In all honestly, I would like a quiver full of cats. Then I could brainwash them into my religion.

[anjulibai]

Isn't AS's father the man who prayed over his newborn daughter's ovaries - predicting that she would give birth to God's holy army? So if God wants AS not to be married early enough to give birth to many many many children doesn't that mean that God also doesn't like her father's ideas?

Nah, they'll spin it like this:

In a few years, they'll put out that Anna Sophia IS the "mother" to millions, but through her books, seminars and blog. She's influenced so many young girls to remain pure and godly, and devote themselves to Jesus. God chose to use Anna Sophia to bless the world this way so that millions can be born to good Christian families. God answered her father's prayer, but in a surprising way because the ways of the Lord are mysterious. Isn't God awesome!?!?

[bea]

AnnaSophia, fundie nun.

[YPestis]

In a few years, they'll put out that Anna Sophia IS the "mother" to millions, but through her books, seminars and blog. She's influenced so many young girls to remain pure and godly, and devote themselves to Jesus. God chose to use Anna Sophia to bless the world this way so that millions can be born to good Christian families. God answered her father's prayer, but in a surprising way because the ways of the Lord are mysterious. Isn't God awesome!?!?

Not sure if you were serious about that, but that's exactly what I think some of these fathers will say about their aging SAHDs. See? Our daughters are not spinsters who will never fulfill their dream of husband and children, they are actually raising millions of young daughters to become godly wives and mothers!

I see this with the Maxwells, Botkins, the Ah, the Life girls.....

What's more depressing than seeing these girls raised this way, is to watch as they never realize even those aspirations. Anna Duggar, despite her limited upbringing, has at least reached her goals of being a young wife and mother to (future) many children. Even if she has frustrating days, she will always end the day believing that this was the life she was meant to have. For someone like Anna Sophia or Sarah Maxwell, they go to bed praying to God to send them a husband. I have serious doubts, given their upbringing, that they are indifferent to their single status.

What is worse? Being raised to think your only aspiration should be wife and mother? Or forever wishing to become a wife and mother and slowly realizing that this will never happen? :think:

[anjulibai]

Not sure if you were serious about that, but that's exactly what I think some of these fathers will say about their aging SAHDs. See? Our daughters are not spinsters who will never fulfill their dream of husband and children, they are actually raising millions of young daughters to become godly wives and mothers!

I see this with the Maxwells, Botkins, the Ah, the Life girls.....

What's more depressing than seeing these girls raised this way, is to watch as they never realize even those aspirations. Anna Duggar, despite her limited upbringing, has at least reached her goals of being a young wife and mother to (future) many children. Even if she has frustrating days, she will always end the day believing that this was the life she was meant to have. For someone like Anna Sophia or Sarah Maxwell, they go to bed praying to God to send them a husband. I have serious doubts, given their upbringing, that they are indifferent to their single status.

What is worse? Being raised to think your only aspiration should be wife and mother? Or forever wishing to become a wife and mother and slowly realizing that this will never happen? :think:

I was trying to be a little jokey about how I wrote, but I do think that's basically what they'll end up saying. God had some other mission for them.

I think both propositions (being told you can only be a wife and mother and wanting to be a wife and mother but never being able to) are equally bad. It's just a sad situation all around.

[MamaJunebug]

There are no "tenets of Biblical daughterhood" in Scripture, save what Geoff has identified as such. God requires yong children to obey and grown children to respect their parents and those in authority. There are NO other rules.

Wolves in sheeps' clothing, the lot of them.

[NurseNell]

Wow, has it really been three years? Time flies.

In all honestly, I would like a quiver full of cats. Then I could brainwash them into my religion.

Well, I have 5, don't know if that qualifies as a quiver. I love my cats and they love me, as long as I don't let the food dish get empty. I think my life is better than that of the Botkin's sisters.

[teachergirl]

I think that is what makes me so sad. All of these women could be married by now. They could be a " good Christian" and have the family size they desire. I think what would scare me is they profess to welcome "as many children" before they have even had one. I will use me as an example. I used to think 3/4 would be great. Then I had my first ( at 36) and I think until you experience for yourself you can't know how it will be. I love being a mother, what I love more is having the FREEDOM to decide if we are having another. I wonder if some of these "older" SAHD see their SIL/friends/relatives struggle with having loads of kids in a short time and think no thanks. If they could stand up to their ideology and choose their partner/family then they would be so much happier.

They will be martrys to the movement because there is always a younger, prettier, fertile version to come along.

[ladyaudley]

Still screwing like mink whenever we are both home

OT, but are mink particularly promiscuous?

[FloraKitty35]

The Botkinettes: Miss Havisham #1 & Miss Havisham #2.

[salex]

OT, but are mink particularly promiscuous?

Not promiscuous, (as it was with my husband) but per Wikionary the def for fxxxing like a mink is To be extremely amorous while copulating.

It used to be more commonly used (Basic Instinct used the phrase a couple of times) so maybe I'm showing my age by using it. :D

[lipstickgoalie]

The Botkinettes: Miss Havisham #1 & Miss Havisham #2.

That would require both the Botkinettes to get to the dress buying stage. That ain't happening anytime soon. Side note, I hear TLC's new series "Say Yes to the Quiverful of Cats" will be a smashing success.

[Talitha Cumi]

I hadn't read that post before. That is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. She's sacrificing her life to what? Daddy-in-the-sky? She's looking for guidance from a being that doesn't exist. Anna Sophia, there is no God directing your life. You're doubling down on your choices in a desperate effort to maintain certainty.

You're still young, honey. If you aren't finding joy in your life (and it's pretty clear you aren't), do what you have to to find it. If there were a God, he would know what you need to make you happy, and he would make sure it happened, because he would love you. But in the absence of a God, you have to do it for yourself.

[nokidsmom]

Well, I have 5, don't know if that qualifies as a quiver. I love my cats and they love me, as long as I don't let the food dish get empty. I think my life is better than that of the Botkin's sisters.

I always hoped to have a quiver full of cats, but alas, husband is allergic.

[rene76]

I think they're too in love with Daddy to marry anyone else.

I have to say I agree with you. The whole idea just creeps me out!! As an adult, why would I want to spend the rest of my life with my Daddy. I love him but I want my own life. They only have the lives Daddy created for them.