Happy 23rd Philip Arndt!!!

[ILoveJellybeans]

23 and still nothings changed since he was 13 :(

[GeoBQn]

I have a picture of me on my birthday when I turned 22. I was in my dorm room while studying abroad in Jerusalem, wearing a new outfit I bought my self, next to a birthday cake that my new friends bought me at my favorite bakery, a few small gifts, and some bottles of alcohol for the occasion. I was HAPPY, and I had a smile that reached my eyes. When I look at Philip's eyes in the picture, he looks like a pod person.

[Chavymishmacoy]

So....do they gather the family in the bedroom and eat the cake there, or do they call the lucky birthday boy into the bedroom to blow out the candle....in the bedroom, then eat in the kitchen. Imagining a bunch of adult children sitting in the bed eating cake....so odd.

We once had the kids cuddled up in our bed watched movies and ate cake, but my kids are much younger.....it didn't seem creepy.

[bananacat]

I guess I just assumed they started the tradition of birthdays in the parents' room because with that many kids, it's the only place they can be alone and feel special, especially when they were in a smaller and more crowded house. And it was probably a room that was normally off-limits to them. I really really hope it's just that simple and has nothing to do with the parents' sex lives. It's still a bit creepy either way.

As for the clothes, I think they started out the way many fundie families do, and never progressed to the frumpers for several reasons. First, they had all boys at first so the dad had less reason to be possessive and controlling of his daughters' sexuality, and also sewing a bunch of homemade frumpers was never really an option to save money so they never got into it. With only one daughter later in life and a wife, it's a lot easier to control them and the dad probably doesn't feel the need to hide them all in a tent of fabric. I don't think Wizzie ever wears anything too revealing, and since it's just her it's easier to judge outfits on a case-by-case basis. Second, the mom has a pretty good body, especially for having so many kids. I'm sure she's proud of it and likes to show it off, so she was probably always reluctant to convert to wearing jumpers.

[Culottes]

Is it just me or does Momma Arndt look like an overgrown cheerleader?

That's what I thought! She looks like one of the middle aged women who try out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Making the Team is one of my favorite shows and every year there is one.

[JenniferJuniper]

As for the clothes, I think they started out the way many fundie families do, and never progressed to the frumpers for several reasons. First, they had all boys at first so the dad had less reason to be possessive and controlling of his daughters' sexuality, and also sewing a bunch of homemade frumpers was never really an option to save money so they never got into it. With only one daughter later in life and a wife, it's a lot easier to control them and the dad probably doesn't feel the need to hide them all in a tent of fabric. I don't think Wizzie ever wears anything too revealing, and since it's just her it's easier to judge outfits on a case-by-case basis. Second, the mom has a pretty good body, especially for having so many kids. I'm sure she's proud of it and likes to show it off, so she was probably always reluctant to convert to wearing jumpers.

I have trouble imagining Cathy ever buying into the idea of frumpers. And not just because she looks fantastic for her age, especially having 14 kids. It's just not part of her culture. She grew up in a large, very religious Catholic family, but they aren't exactly fundie, aside from being hyper anti-abortion. One of her sisters has her own chiropractic business and another is the CFO of the family business.

I'm also not sure who is really wearing the shorts pants in that family. I think she is the one primarily controlling the sons, for instance, while Rick lives mostly in the preacher/actor/baseball fantasy camp in his mind. If they'd had all girls and Rick took a notion to put them all in frocks, I could definitely see Cathy squashing it.

The Arndts are as strange as fundies come, but they make their own rules.

[thoughtful]

:(

[Cerdwin]

Last night my almost 15 year old staged an open rebellion at his regular bedtime (8:30, though there are nights he stays up later to watch a particular show, and weekends are a free-for-all). I actually want my kids to grow up and move out, so we sat down and negotiated new bed times. Although I told him that, to get want he wants, he would need to display maturity and discuss the issue instead of flouncing, I never had any intention of preventing him moving onto a new stage and having more control over his own life.

I feel really sad for those young men, that they will never get to experience adult life until their parents are out of the picture. If my kids turn out that dependent then I would consider that complete failure on my part.

[MamaJunebug]

:(

So sad. One of my boys was a big kid, round-faced and a little pudgy, til he went away to school. Got into nutrition and body work, rock climbing & hiking & that kind of thing, holy cow did he turn into a self-assured and grow up version of himself. He looked a little like this poor kid when he was 19. By 23 he had made the lifestyle changes described above. I'm extra proud of him at this point and so glad that whatever turned Cathy & Rick into some version of Mrs Bates never happened to me and/or my TSU. Srsly, thank you, God.

[BornFree]

Birthday boy looks dazed and blank. And then there's Mom next to him with bare legs and cleavage snuggled up so tight.

[nokidsmom]

I feel really sad for those young men, that they will never get to experience adult life until their parents are out of the picture. If my kids turn out that dependent then I would consider that complete failure on my part.

Considering that both parents are in pretty good shape for their ages, it's probably going to be a verrrryyy loooonnngg time before they are out of the picture. Some of the older ones could be potentially nearing 70 before this happens. And it's entirely possible that Mom and Dad could outlive one or more of the kids. These young men's lives are passing them by and they don't realize it.

Some parents consider keeping their kids close as a mark of successful parenting. Mine were one of those, so seeing these guys reminds me of how right I was to bail out in my early 20's and get on with my own life, parental disapproval and all. Lightening didn't strike, either and I can deal with the fact that my folks are disappointed in me all because I wouldn't let them control my adult life.

It's this "keeping our children's hearts" business to the extreme. It really should be called "let's indoctrinate and emotionally chain our kids to the wall so they never think of leaving and we can continue our happy, close family forever".

Sorry for the brief rant. Whenever I see these guys, I see the life I could have had. Ugh.

[MamaJunebug]

Nokidsmom, good for you! How did you find the bearings to leave? Have you posted your story, and if so, link please? I'd love to hear more!

[bananacat]

I have a birthday coming up in less than a month (28) and it always makes me a but existential because I can't help but compare my life negatively to previous birthdays. But then I look at this poor kids and feel nothing but awesome. I guess it's just a matter of perspective. Sure, I'm not making as much as I did when I graduated college, but wow, at least I've gone to college, had various careers since then, have had relationships, had sex, been in love and been heartbroken, been drunk a couple of times and had tons of friends of varying closeness, all of which this poor boy will never have by the time he is my age. Oh, and I've even slept in my own bedroom.

[mockingbird]

Ugh. This family is so creepy and sad. I'm 23 and I did not spend my birthday in my parents' bedroom. I went out to dinner with friends. Even something as simple as that is something he's probably never been able to experience :(

[nokidsmom]

Nokidsmom, good for you! How did you find the bearings to leave? Have you posted your story, and if so, link please? I'd love to hear more!

MjB, I have not posted my story online. The only place online where I have shared even snippets about it has been here. Only in recent years have I come out about it so to speak. First it was to a couple of close friends, then other family members who finally approached me; family members who long had concerns about how strict and overprotective my folks were and realized it was safe to talk to me. It often occurred in the wake of some issue or disagreement with my folks.

Don't want to derail the thread, but in a nutshell I finally found the strength to leave just after finishing college. Now honestly, I had been wanting to get out of the house for years (never said so, just knew it) but needed to finish the education first, so toughed it out until graduation. After college, it hit my folks that they could no longer rely on my going to school as the cover to keep me at home, so they clamped down on me after that: curfews, interfering with a boyfriend relationship (yes, I was actually allowed to have one) and playing the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) big time, making it very clear my place was to stay at home. I was nearly 23 years old. It hit me that I was an adult now and had been for five years, had done all the "right" things they wanted me to and yet I was being treated like a juvenile delinquent in my own home, all because I wanted to become independent, which was frigging normal. I could either give in and have the rest of my life under their control or tell them "love you Mom and Dad, but I am going" and let the chips fall where they may. And yes, to this day I am the "bad daughter" who broke up the family. Even to my sibs.

Maybe at some point, I will post more detail. Would Chatter be a better place for it?

[copper]

If I were a meme-maker, mine for the cake-in-the-bedroom pic would be:

Want to keep the hamper perpetually empty?

Keep your sons at home as indentured laundry slaves until 23!

Or,

Celebrating 23 years of laundry and chore service!

...Obviously, including the hamper in the picture is a bit strange to me. I mean, aren't these guys professional photographers?

[FreeJosie]

Poor Philip will be in the same situation at 33....and 43....

[nokidsmom]

Poor Philip will be in the same situation at 33....and 43....

And probably 53 and 63. If any of these guys are waiting for Mom and Dad to kick before they can finally live their lives, they should settle in for the long haul.

[miffy]

This is weird. I didn't ever really go into my parents bedroom at 16, let alone 23! Apart from when my mum shattered her tibia and I was helping to care for her a couple of years ago.

[Maia68]

WTF is going on with this family? They are SO not your typical Fundy family. But how do they control all of those males with what I would assume have the usual male hormones? There is something so bizarre going on with Mama Arndt and her short shorts with empire-waist cleavage, when she has such iron control of those boys. I am a divorced mother of a beautiful 18-year-old male. He has been my life since before he was born, but it would not be healthy for either of us if I were to believe that either of us needed to be the social life for the other. I love him, I want us to remain close, but we each need to live our own lives. There is some crazy shit going on with the Arndts, and I want to read the tell-all!

[desertvixen]

Some parents consider keeping their kids close as a mark of successful parenting. Mine were one of those, so seeing these guys reminds me of how right I was to bail out in my early 20's and get on with my own life, parental disapproval and all. Lightening didn't strike, either and I can deal with the fact that my folks are disappointed in me all because I wouldn't let them control my adult life.

It's this "keeping our children's hearts" business to the extreme. It really should be called "let's indoctrinate and emotionally chain our kids to the wall so they never think of leaving and we can continue our happy, close family forever"

This. I thought the whole point of parenting was to get them raised up enough so that they would leave the house.

[Chibi Author]

He looks like Jay Baruchel from Undeclared. :o Except, you know, not as amazingly geeky and huggable.

Mama Arndt scares me.

[already hungover]

So the hamper is empty, but according to the blog, the washer was broken!! Don't worry, though: James and Nathan replaced the broken transistor and now it's fixed! With photos.

Also the ducks have moved outside. Hopefully the duck ordeal hasn't had too much of a negative impact on penguin-manboy relations.

[miffy]

So the hamper is empty, but according to the blog, the washer was broken!! Don't worry, though: James and Nathan replaced the broken transistor and now it's fixed! With photos.

Also the ducks have moved outside. Hopefully the duck ordeal hasn't had too much of a negative impact on penguin-manboy relations.

I saw that on their blog. I wonder if they ever spend saturday night sitting around whilst their dad reads out transcripts of his college softball matches?

Are the Arndts truly fundies? or are the just very religious & weird?

[lilith]

I saw that on their blog. I wonder if they ever spend saturday night sitting around whilst their dad reads out transcripts of his college softball matches?

Are the Arndts truly fundies? or are the just very religious & weird?

No, Daddy Ardnt is a true fundie, complete with his own ministry called "Safe at Home".