Dr. Dobson : the war on stay at home moms

[MyName]

drjamesdobson.org/articles/pray-for-america/message-to-husbands-of-homemakers

What an ass.

It is high time you realized that your wives are under attack today! Everything they have been taught from earliest childhood is being subjected to ridicule and scorn. Hardly a day passes when the traditional values of the Judeo-Christian heritage are not blatantly mocked and undermined.

--The notion that motherhood is a worthwhile investment of a woman's time suffers unrelenting bombardment.

--And the idea that wives should yield to the leadership of their husbands, as commanded in Ephesians 5:21–33 is considered almost medieval in its stupidity.

--And the concept that a man and woman should become one flesh, finding their identity in each other rather than as separate and competing individuals, is said to be intolerable insulting to women

--And the description of the ideal wife and mother, as offered in Proverbs 31:10–31 is now unthinkable for the modern woman. (She's come along way, baby.)

--And the role of the female as help-meet, bread-baker, wound-patcher, love giver, home builder, and child-bearer is nothing short of disgusting.

[sparkles]

Jebus H. Christmas. I really don't give royal flying quack if a woman wants to be a homemaker and stay-at-home mom as long as SHE HAS FREE WILL TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. Why don't these idiots realize that? And quite frankly, IMO if anyone one either side of the debate mocks or undermines those on the other side it's because they're doubting their own choices (if they were indeed choices and not mandates).

[docmom]

OK, here we go...

It is high time you realized that your wives are under attack today! Everything they have been taught from earliest childhood is being subjected to ridicule and scorn. Hardly a day passes when the traditional values of the Judeo-Christian heritage are not blatantly mocked and undermined.

--The notion that motherhood is a worthwhile investment of a woman's time suffers unrelenting bombardment.

No that is not true. It is generally accepted that both motherhood and fatherhood are good things and that women can be mothers and work.

--And the idea that wives should yield to the leadership of their husbands, as commanded in Ephesians 5:21–33 is considered almost medieval in its stupidity.

No, you are wrong again. It isn't almost medieval in its stupidity. It is medieval in its stupidity

--And the concept that a man and woman should become one flesh, finding their identity in each other rather than as separate and competing individuals, is said to be intolerable insulting to women

I'm not quite sure what you mean by intolerable insulting, but I'm guessing that as many men as women don't want to be defined purely as X's husband/wife

--And the description of the ideal wife and mother, as offered in Proverbs 31:10–31 is now unthinkable for the modern woman. (She's come along way, baby.)

Yes, we've come a long way. And it's a good thing

--And the role of the female as help-meet, bread-baker, wound-patcher, love giver, home builder, and child-bearer is nothing short of disgusting.

I'm not sure anyone has ever explicity stated that bread-baking, wound-patching, love giving, home building and child bearing are disgusting. They are fine and wonderful things. They are, however, not the only things women can do

Done now

[browngrl]

Who exactly is fighting the war on stay at home moms? I'm a woman and I know lots of other women. Some work at home, some work outside the home. Some are the boss and others are the employee. I don't know anyone who is waging a war. Of course people get their back up when criticized but that goes for everyone - stay at home or not. Some of us are loud and opinionated but so what - honest debate is not war. We are all pretty much live and let live sort of people. So that leads me back to my question - who are these women who are so intolerant of any other choice than their own? Because I will tell you what I see/hear/read: fundies are the intolerant ones. They are the ones who are spoiling for a fight.

[infooverload]

This reminds me of when I was watching Makers: The History of Feminism on PBS and they interviewed a house wife who felt that Betty Friedan's the Femine Mystique was a direct attack on her. I remembered rolling my eyes going are you flipping kidding me. I would say the working women in religious circles is looked down on definately. All of the activities seem to be on a Tuesday from 9 am to 12pm or some ridiculous hours for people who work. There is this look you get when you say oh no I work and our child is in a daycare/preschool and he loves going.

[formergothardite]

As a SAHM can I ask when I should expect the war to reach me? I need to arm myself and maybe build a moat. I've always wanted a moat and now I have a good reason to build one, A WAR IS COMING!!!!

[Arete]

Can some of you other ladies clue this childless, working hag on how to get my deferment from the draft to wage war against stay-at-home moms? I'm kind of busy right now and don't think I can give this battle the attention it deserves.

I really don't want to move to Canada. They are very nice but it's cold up there.

[Isis]

As a SAHM can I ask when I should expect the war to reach me? I need to arm myself and maybe build a moat. I've always wanted a moat and now I have a good reason to build one, A WAR IS COMING!!!!

LOL, I've always said my dream house will have a moat.

I'm a SAHM myself. Hopefully, my previous career as a US Marine has prepared me for the coming war!

[samurai_sarah]

As a SAHM can I ask when I should expect the war to reach me? I need to arm myself and maybe build a moat. I've always wanted a moat and now I have a good reason to build one, A WAR IS COMING!!!!

Well, with the war on Easter just over, and the war on Christmas needing organizing, the gay agenda needing pushing, plus all the normal persecuting stuff that needs doing... I'd say to expect the army on 3rd Jan 2014 at around 14.23 hrs, departing again at 14.49 hrs. If we can't make it to your moat, will an insulting tweet do? Sorry about that, time is a bit limited, and the war on SAHMs came as a surprise. We can't let all the other stuff slide because of this. Terribly sorry about that, hope you understand.

[MamaJunebug]

Judeo-Christian? Really, James....er, Dr. Dobson? I don't hear many Jewish voices rising up with yours in this context.

Should've looked up the timestamp on this screed before posting. "FotF" winds up within earshot on one of the radio stations I tend to have playing during the day, and for the past several years, there have been WOHmoms, female authorities in various aspects of family dynamics, open discussion of divorce that doesn't necessarily end with all parties involved burning in Sheol-on-earth, and other moderate, reasonable hosts, guests and topics.

Ironic, isn't it, that folks who so often advise us of "a war on us [fill in the blanks]" are folks who never ever served in the military? Dobson didn't, IIRC. LImbaugh didn't. A particular non-favorite of mine named Todd Wilken who hosts a program from an incredibly conservative pov didn't ... all IIRC, of course.

Watch the inflammatory language, guys. You kiss your aunties with those mouths???

[HoneyBunny]

Don't these people who see bogus "Wars on XXXXXX" everywhere they turn realize that they are really minimalizing the efforts of our troops who are involved in REAL wars?

Guess not. Or else they just don't give a FRA.

[doggie]

Yes lets all live How people lived and where written about 2000+ years ago an another culture and country. No matter how close two people are they are never one unless they are amoeba.

[laura oz]

I knew when I saw Michelle Duggar get starstruck by Dobson when he came to their house for dinner that I didn't like him. Anybody they like just has to be a douche.

[RosyDaisy]

There are STAHMs who live normal lives, then there are others that have to work out of necessity. Now I'm reminded why I don't like televangelist.

[Miranda]

As a SAHM can I ask when I should expect the war to reach me? I need to arm myself and maybe build a moat. I've always wanted a moat and now I have a good reason to build one, A WAR IS COMING!!!!

I think you're in for quite a wait. I've been staying/working at home for 17 years now, and not a hint of anything amiss. Maybe they're waiting for the right moment to launch a surprise attack.

[EmiGirl]

As a 31 consultant I really irritates me when people use Proverbs 31 to talk about how women should only be homemakers. The Proverbs 31 woman does it all. She works outside and inside of the home. She has her own business buying and selling land, working the fields and then selling her products at the market. She's a very hardworking mother, wife, and businesswoman.

Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.

ETA: She also has her own clothing line! She sounds like a pretty 21st century woman to me.

[slh12280]

There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to be a stay at home wife/mother. If she finds that fulfilling, I say go for it! The point of the whole thing is CHOICE. Another one of those imaginary wars, I suppose. They are the ones "waging a war," as they say, because they want to restrict women to a specific role. This is coming from someone who likes the idea of more "traditional" gender roles for myself. Thing is, I haven't had experience with that so I may change my mind or if circumstances so dictate choose a different path. The point is, though, that I don't want to tell other women what choices they should make because women are individuals.

[Loveday]

I think you're in for quite a wait. I've been staying/working at home for 17 years now, and not a hint of anything amiss. Maybe they're waiting for the right moment to launch a surprise attack.

Almost 25 years for me, and I've yet to hear the first shot fired in this supposed war. :think:

[Hane]

Yeah, I was a stay-at-home mom till some big hairy feminists showed up at my door with Uzis and demanded that I get divorced and find a job.

Oh, wait--the divorce and job part happened because my "headship" was drinking so much it scared me and I realized I had to take care of myself and my baby.

[Joan of Snarc]

*sigh* Another figurative "war."

The only "war" I see is a war on common sense.

[Scales]

My personal experience with this is that if you are a woman who works outside the home, or even inside the home, and especially if you have an education and are successful in your career, then YOUR SUCCESS IS the attack on the SAHM. I don't know how many times I have realized that different women I've known are really somehow jealous of what I do and feel like everyone thinks they are inferior because they don't work. Meanwhile, the women working don't feel this way, it's just some sort of pity party of the SAHM.

I'm not saying all SAHM's are like this, but most of the ones I have known have eventually made this known to me. I would have loved to be a SAHM, but the cards did not play out for me like that, and I'm ok with that now. I have very little patience for the pity party of some SAHMs, since I maintain that I have to do everything they do, but also work. I can't help it that my existence makes them feel bad. Nobody is attacking SAHMs. SAHMs are feeling bad and inferior about their choices all by themselves. Or maybe their own "menfolk" are making them feel inferior by not respecting the work that they do to keep the household running.

I think that women who work for minimum wage are not threatening to their egos, which is why the more education or "status" your career has, the worse it gets for them.

[Kitty]

Judeo-Christian? Really, James....er, Dr. Dobson? I don't hear many Jewish voices rising up with yours in this context.

Yeah, I actually learned a lot about Judaism from this site after knowing next to nothing about it before... if anything, Jewish people are all for women working outside the home to help support the family.

Or maybe their own "menfolk" are making them feel inferior by not respecting the work that they do to keep the household running.

Oh god, this. If anyone devalues the work women have to do around the house, it's not working women, it's men who don't appreciate it. The individual tasks might not be that hard (despite having a working mother and being educated in public schools, I could do all of them), but it does add up and can be just as stressful as a "real job," especially if you have a gaggle of little ones under your feet wherever you go.

As much as fundie men appear to value SAHMs, they're probably the worst about failing to appreciate the work they do, too.

[Arete]

Yes lets all live How people lived and where written about 2000+ years ago an another culture and country. No matter how close two people are they are never one unless they are amoeba.

The fact of the matter is, there were no SAHM in ancient Israel. Your husband tended the sheep, you got to tend the sheep AND the kids. Your husband worked a market stall? You got to work the market stall AND cook the family meals. Your husband was a farmer? Guess who was up tending the livestock and gathering the harvest with him while you were 7 months pregnant? Even in agricultural societies, women have always worked along side the men. This ideal of a SAHM is only possible in industrial societies that have rigid labor specialization. It was not ordained by God at Mt Sinai.

Thus endeth the lesson.

[LainieR]

The fact of the matter is, there were no SAHM in ancient Israel. Your husband tended the sheep, you got to tend the sheep AND the kids. Your husband worked a market stall? You got to work the market stall AND cook the family meals. Your husband was a farmer? Guess who was up tending the livestock and gathering the harvest with him while you were 7 months pregnant? Even in agricultural societies, women have always worked along side the men. This ideal of a SAHM is only possible in industrial societies that have rigid labor specialization. It was not ordained by God at Mt Sinai.

Thus endeth the lesson.

A-fucking-men

[Loveday]

A-fucking-men