Former Fundie talks about her sexual abuse

[Dev83]

shepherd-photography.com/2013/01/he-doesnt-just-love-mehe-likes-me.html

Funky format, I know. But I have been following her for years - from back when she was courting and full on fundie. I feel so badly for all she went through, but it is awesome she has confronted the horrors of fundamentalism and her own sexual abuse.

[Red Molly]

It might be an interesting story but the formatting and fancy crap on the blog make it impossible to read.

[Dev83]

Here is the text of the most recent post:

Now that this month is over I'm looking back on it going, "Okay, that wasn't so bad after all in fact WOW it was really good. We took some leaps and bounds!"

This month was a huge month. One I wasn't sure what I was going to feel or what mud pits I was going to have to wade through. One year since that day. January 11th 2012. The day I could not keep the pain in any longer. The day I could no longer hang on to the end of the rotten rope. I simply was done trying SO hard to pretend everything was fine. The day I called my husband barely able to talk because of the emotion and physical pain and he came home with the raging gut feeling what he had come to suspect was true. The day I chose to give up the familiar feeling of pain and suffering and let the masks start falling off. The day I decided no matter how long or hard the journey was going to be I had to start it NOW or I was literally going to die. The day that I stepped out the dark about the brokenness of my childhood and my sexual abuse. I stepped out of denial and started tearing down lies that felt like was all my life was made up of.

To think it has been a year and to remember and see all that we have had to go through, the losses, the gains, the abandonment, the 2 steps forward and one step back journey this has been. I spent a year working on myself. A year sitting in those therapy session with a therapist who literally saved my life, digging through gallons upon gallons of confusion, pain, neglect and self hate. And I am far from done. I still have mothering to do to myself.

But I am proud of myself. Proud that I have come to learn how to love myself. Proud of the freedom that I HAVE found already. Proud that I have been able to let those people and trying to please those people go. Proud that I actually want more from this life. Proud of the things I have accomplished physically, mentally and emotionally.

And that, for me, Is the biggest progress of all. Being proud of me. Looking in the mirror and seeing something and someone so beautiful. Not worthlessness. Not trash. Not used. Not someone masked with a bubbly smile to keep others from really seeing how she felt. But something priceless and one of a kind. Someone that God not just loved...he LIKED.

[Dev83]

It might be an interesting story but the formatting and fancy crap on the blog make it impossible to read.

Yeah, I have it in my google reader so I dont have to deal with the formatting.