God kissed Miss Raquel Five Times

[LilMissMetaphor]

AND, she said that Stonewall Jackson is (was?) a model for her future husband.

[Bbfamteam]

So what do you think goes through the mind of girls like her when daddy sets them up with "Prince Charming" and the deal is sealed?

[SAHD in training]

She hasn´t mentioned her waitressing job. I wonder if she realized that not everyone thinks she is wonderful and quit, or if she was fired. Or maybe that´s another kiss from God and she intends to write a whole post on how the LORD didn´t want her out of the house, and how important it is to sit arounda t home and do nothing all day long.

[formergothardite]

According to the comment section, God just goes and kisses everyone. His heart must have huge chunks of it missing.

And I am sure she will spin her being fired/quiting as some blessing from God. Her not being able to keep a job couldn't possibly have to do with her actual behaviour.

[MissSeptember]

She probably had to take time off to care for her family (ruptured appendix, miscarriage, etc) and they fired her. More proof that working outside of the home and family do not mix!

[BoomerLynn]

And yet in her about me she refers to herself as this (again bolding mine):

Raquel, I don't think that word means what you think it means.

I've heard birthers use it, as in "abolish abortion" (this would have been the late 80's probably), even at 10 I knew that they used it incorrectly!

[formergothardite]

I think she is actually using it as abolishing sex slavery. Her big charity idea is to make pillow cases for girls who were saved out of sex slavery, so that is why she is marketing herself as an abolitionists.

[jenny_islander]

So she says that she was almost driven to the point of insanity by having to watch children all day and take over meal responsibility. Honey, don't you want to be a stay at home? What do you think they do all day?

Have tea parties?

Seriously, I wonder how many of these silly young girls have any idea how many times a day SAHMs like me handle human feces.

[thekate]

Was God wearing cherry chapstick?

Are you saying God is a girl?

[ThisOlGirl]

What the hell is a freelance model?

[Aisling]

Was there tongues involved? :)

[Cannelle]

OMG, she's writing a YA novel? What's it about? It's not, like, contemporary YA, is it? As in, it could be on the shelves next to Sarah Dessen and Susane Colasanti? Does she even read any YA at all? You can't write well and you'll never, ever, EVER get published if you don't read widely in the genre in which you're hoping to publish. It's utterly impossible and I look forward to reading her mess and chortling for the rest of the day/my life.

[Cannelle]

This is an excerpt from my current modern/sci-fi novel...

(I really am not a huge sci-fi fan, but that's the only genre I could really think to list this under)

Please. Tell an agent that you're not a huge sci-fi fan. PLEASE. :lol:

Wow, that writing is...um...Yeah...

In her modern/sci piece...It's 1271 words. In that are 26 'was', 2 'wasn't', 10 'were', 6 'are'. Be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) are terrible, Raquel. Get those out of your writing. Prune them down to the bare minimum. Strong verbs make for better writing. Your description is wretched and doesn't flow well at all. It doesn't flow well and it's not at all organic, it's very forced. Stop making your character 'notice' everything and then come up with solutions and comments for everything immediately after. Is that how you react to things, by surveying everything and making a mental catalog in your head? Unless you're some sort of robot, I doubt it. The way she remarks on things makes the whole piece seem very unnatural. The dialog seems a little forced and unnatural, as well. If I were editing this just for style and voice alone (I can't tell enough about the plot from just this excerpt), it would be covered with red pen. I'd encourage you, but I'd point out that you need to write a whole lot more, as practice, to develop a voice, and to read. Read widely, read what you love, read what you don't love in order to see WHY those stories work and are publishable, read fiction, read non-fiction, read things you agree with, read things you disagree with. Get to know your characters, learn about them, figure out what motivates them and make them tick. Learn way more about them than you could ever fit in one book. If you do all that, your writing will hopefully improve. Don't be too impressed with yourself yet; you have a lot of work to do if you want your name on the cover of a book. And please, for the love of GOD, don't ever, EVER get preachy in a book.

[clarinetpower]

A freelance model is someone who loves to pose for pictures, take pictures of themselves, and put the pictures all over the internet, but nobody wants to pay them for it. See: narcissist.

[ladyamylynn]

A freelance model is someone who loves to pose for pictures, take pictures of themselves, and put the pictures all over the internet, but nobody wants to pay them for it. See: narcissist.

But... but she's so modest! She's just showing off what god gave her. Remember the controversy about the one blogger who said she was "modestly vain" or some such nonsense? All I remember is she came over here and got a righteous smackdown. Oh how I wish Miss Raquel would do the same. Ah well, a girl can dream.

[merrily]

Please. Tell an agent that you're not a huge sci-fi fan. PLEASE. :lol:

Wow, that writing is...um...Yeah...

In her modern/sci piece...It's 1271 words. In that are 26 'was', 2 'wasn't', 10 'were', 6 'are'. Be verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) are terrible, Raquel. Get those out of your writing. Prune them down to the bare minimum. Strong verbs make for better writing. Your description is wretched and doesn't flow well at all. It doesn't flow well and it's not at all organic, it's very forced. Stop making your character 'notice' everything and then come up with solutions and comments for everything immediately after. Is that how you react to things, by surveying everything and making a mental catalog in your head? Unless you're some sort of robot, I doubt it. The way she remarks on things makes the whole piece seem very unnatural. The dialog seems a little forced and unnatural, as well. If I were editing this just for style and voice alone (I can't tell enough about the plot from just this excerpt), it would be covered with red pen. I'd encourage you, but I'd point out that you need to write a whole lot more, as practice, to develop a voice, and to read. Read widely, read what you love, read what you don't love in order to see WHY those stories work and are publishable, read fiction, read non-fiction, read things you agree with, read things you disagree with. Get to know your characters, learn about them, figure out what motivates them and make them tick. Learn way more about them than you could ever fit in one book. If you do all that, your writing will hopefully improve. Don't be too impressed with yourself yet; you have a lot of work to do if you want your name on the cover of a book. And please, for the love of GOD, don't ever, EVER get preachy in a book.

Well there's always fanfiction.net if she wants more leghumpers. I've seen worst authors than her who have glowing reviews from 'fans'. All she needs to do is throw in a Mary Sue and she's set. Or she could do a fanfic of the Hunger Games and change the names.

[Wandering]

A freelance model is someone who loves to pose for pictures, take pictures of themselves, and put the pictures all over the internet, but nobody wants to pay them for it. See: narcissist.

I happen to have a very handsome and good mannered cat; the local vet who is a personal friend of our family's sometimes takes pictures of the cat (for free) to use for his office's literature and Facebook page. Does that make my cat a freelance model too?

[Wandering]

Oh my gosh I can't even process the latest interview she just posted for her "From a Guy's Point of View" thing. When he's sober-minded? Someone explain this to me!

[thekate]

I happen to have a very handsome and good mannered cat; the local vet who is a personal friend of our family's sometimes takes pictures of the cat (for free) to use for his office's literature and Facebook page. Does that make my cat a freelance model too?

Is it a fulltime job? Does he have an agent?

[Roli]

Oh my gosh I can't even process the latest interview she just posted for her "From a Guy's Point of View" thing. When he's sober-minded? Someone explain this to me!

" 7. What is something that you want/look for, the most, in your future wife?

This is a tough question. There are some very clear desires I have for a wife that include modesty, generosity, intuition, a healthy relationship with her father, and a smokin’ hot body." :roll:

I did quite enjoy his asking "Is this REALLY for a magazine, Raquel?"

[Wandering]

Is it a fulltime job? Does he have an agent?

Nah, Romeo (my cat) has an otherwise packed schedule of sunbathing, napping, and playing with our other animals. Pretty sure that's a similar schedule to another "freelance model" we know ;)