God kissed Miss Raquel Five Times

[formergothardite]

:shock: :lol: I'm not fucking kidding. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Jesus is totally her boyfriend. She also needs to go back to using "legit" every other word because the new word she uses, "cuz", is even more annoying.

Anyway, God kissed her five times and one of those times gave her a jolt of energy so she could stay awake through church. :lol: She really is God's special snowflake if he can lavish this much attention on her while, you know, kids are starving and being sold into slaver. But, hey, screw them, God needed to take the time to kiss Raquel by paiting her a sunset. :roll:

http://god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/

[BoomerLynn]

If I rolled my eyes any harder I think they would have fallen out of my head. She really is quite self-absorbed, isn't she? I found this little tidbit in her FAQ (bolding mine):

[quoteIn the War Between the States, which side would you be on?

I like to say: I am Northern by birth, Western by heart and Southern by choice. In the War Between the States, I would be a Confederate]

[ILoveJellybeans]

Seeing as she is God's daughter, isnt it incest? :D

Raquel, God doesnt care about you any more than he cares about everyone else. There are people starving, homeless, dying of terminal illnesses, being abused...why is God not helping them, yet you think that God gives you every tiny thing that ever happens.

[VooDooChild]

Well isn't that precious! :roll:

[formergothardite]

I never caught that she would like to be a Confederate. Only Miss Raquel would claim to be an abolitionists and profess a desire to defend slavery at the same time.

[uber frau]

How kinky. Is she going to adopt the old Mormon doctrine about God having sex with Mary too?

[Seven Severn]

Did he french her? Cuz that would mean that they're serious.

[So Says I]

So, the Lord "tooketh" away her fetal sibling, but He then "kissed" her by orchestrating the textings by her three friends... so it all worked out?

By her brand of fundie logic, then, when horrible things happen, it's God's will and we must bless his name, but if something even minutely good happens, God is trying to make out with us?

[Wandering]

So she says that she was almost driven to the point of insanity by having to watch children all day and take over meal responsibility. Honey, don't you want to be a stay at home? What do you think they do all day?

[formergothardite]

Well, SHE is going to be dancing in the rain, riding horses on the beach, singing with famous people, and riding off into the sunset with her love.

Reality is going to be very very hard for her.

[Wandering]

I absolutely agree. And as someone who was born and raised in the South I always take a little offense to someone calling themselves a Confederate. I don't think she quite knows what that means or what that weight holds. The Confederacy to me represents oppression, prejudice, and racism and has never been something that I've wanted to be associated with. However, I do offer my sympathies for her mother's miscarriage and wish her sister a speedy recovery.

[browngrl]

Did he french her? Cuz that would mean that they're serious.

This and if God tried to cop a feel then I think he really should buy her dinner first.

[formergothardite]

Her poor future husband, how is he going to be able to compete with God?

[Wandering]

Her poor future husband, how is he going to be able to compete with God?

Heck how is he going to compete with this idealized version of the perfect, romanticized man that she's developed in her head?

[pixydust]

If I rolled my eyes any harder I think they would have fallen out of my head. She really is quite self-absorbed, isn't she? I found this little tidbit in her FAQ (bolding mine):

[quoteIn the War Between the States, which side would you be on?

I like to say: I am Northern by birth, Western by heart and Southern by choice. In the War Between the States, I would be a Confederate]

And yet in her about me she refers to herself as this (again bolding mine):

She is also a writer, aspiring singer, abolitionist, freelance model, and blogger

Raquel, I don't think that word means what you think it means.

[ladyamylynn]

Just re-read her "bucket list." Girl still hasn't painted her nails... :lol:

[escoterica]

Anybody else notice she's posting excerpts of the YA novel she's writing here? This looks promising... :mrgreen:

[escoterica]

So, Miss Raquel is also doing interviews with godly young men, giving them a 25+ question survey. I'm on the first one (backwards chronologically) and this stuck out at me:

20. What is your view on college for girls? My view is this: Yes - if you are single, college is ok, but as soon as you get married your life is not your own anymore, especially if you start having kids. That’s when your husband is the one who should be the main provider.

As soon as you get married your life is not your own anymore. Implication, it's your husband.

These people remind me of some of the guys I've met who went to Liberty. The Hipsters-For-Christ (Chripsters?). They try to come off as cool and modern, but some of the things that come out of their mouths...

[clarinetpower]

Well, it makes perfect sense. You can have the RIGHT to own people (guns), but as long as you are good and kind and godly (and white) you of course will only use them as Jesus would want you to. It's about States' Rights, you know. Because good, Godly Christians would never abuse God's creation or dump chemicals into rivers. And stuff.

Yeah.

Makes sense to me!

[formergothardite]

She also has an instagram called "I Am Inspire". She really, really thinks a lot of herself.

[VooDooChild]

She also has an instagram called "I Am Inspire". She really, really thinks a lot of herself.

I hope she is referring to God when he called himself "I am". Otherwise, she is more self-centered than I thought.

[formergothardite]

I hope she is referring to God when he called himself "I am". Otherwise, she is more self-centered than I thought.

She "aspires to inspire". :lol:

[Jencendiary]

Jesus Christ: Sexual Harrasser is nowhere in the holy text. God, however, has been known to surprise!impregnate people. So you have to watch out for him.

[clarinetpower]

Jesus Christ: Sexual Harrasser is nowhere in the holy text. God, however, has been known to surprise!impregnate people. So you have to watch out for him.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[kiwimusume]

Was God wearing cherry chapstick?