Another frustrated SAHD

[formergothardite]

Seriously, reading these blogs is just depressing because these women are obviously so unhappy with their lives.

This is Miss Mae (FYI sticking a "miss" before your name does not really make you sound more important) of Created to Glorify His Name. She is a 20 year old who decided to not go to college or get a job because her mom needed her to stay at home and help homeschool her younger siblings. :roll: She has posts about how some days she feels really unhappy with her life, but then God sends some sort of message telling her she should be content in any situation, so she sucks it up and carries on.

Her thoughts on trying to please God remind me so much of the brief time I was drinking the kool-aid and I felt so worthless and like I could never please Him. It is a horrible way to live.

*There are times when He will put somebody in front of us who has exactly what we want, just to see how we will respond. Until we can pass His "I am happy for you because you are blessed" test, we are never going to have any more than what we have right now.

Again, I was hit hard. Is she saying that it may be my fault that I don't have those things my heart longs for?

What sort of sick God dangles what you what in front of you and then won't let you have it because you don't have the right attitude?! Maybe, just maybe God wants you to get off your ass, out of your house and go get those things yourself?

If you have asked God for something and He hasn't given it to you yet, rest assured that He is not holding out on you. He simply wants to make sure that you rid yourself of jealousy and make Him your top priority

Well isn't God just a self-absorbed asshole?

Her someday post rivals Miss Raquel's bucket list:

Someday I shall paint each of my toenails a different color. :)

Well, they sell polish at the Dollar Tree, go spend 10 bucks and make this someday, today.

Someday I shall hang pearls from my doorknob

Depending on if you want real or fake pearls, go to the Goodwill, find a pearl necklace and make this wish come true. By several and create your own design.

Someday I shall dance in the rain with My Man

Oh good grief. :roll: Is this a thing now, because Miss Raquel mentions it like every five seconds.

At least she is a much better writer than the 27 year old SAHD. I do hope she wakes up and finds her own life soon. A 20 year old should not be sitting at home talking about how unhappy her life is.

http://createdtoglorify.blogspot.com/

[PennySycamore]

Why the hell does she want to hang pearls from her doorknob?

And yeah, if it!s that important for her, go to Goodwill and Dollar tree and make your dreams come true. You can also dance in the rain by yourself. Gene Kelly did it.

[chaotic life]

Why the hell would you want to hang pearls from your bedroom door? And what on EARTH requires you to be married to do it?

Geesh, my poor grandmother would roll over in her grave if I hung her wedding pearls on my door knob, and DH would be heartbroken that I valued the pearls he bought me so little that I hung them on a door instead of taking proper care of them!

I think these girls get so stuck with NO life at all that they fantasize that married life is some Harlequin romance novel....and nobody actually lives like that, nor do they actually want to normally!

[formergothardite]

She found a pinterest picture of pearls hanging on the doorknob. I think if she did that now, she would find it isn't as exciting as she seems to think.

She also wants to travel the world. I hate to tell her, waiting for God to drop a rich husband into her lap isn't the way to go about making that dream come true. Get a job, go to college, start saving her money, that is more likely to turn her into a world traveler rather than just sitting at home helping her mom.

[Closed Womb]

The SAHD blogs are so sad. I remember feeling that way (made a topic in Chatter about it. If it's your story, and your willing to share, I'd love to hear it.) Like I'm doing something wrong because the LORD hasn't given me my heart's desires (okay, mine weren't easily attainable, like nail polish and pearls; I was praying for a man in the per-Christian mingle days.)

If I had been denied personal fulfillment (school, work) on top of that? I think I would have had a breakdown. Really.

[chaotic life]

If you are intending to be QF, then time to travel the world is NOW. Once you start popping out babies, it's IMPOSSIBLE to travel. I know, I had too many, too soon and have barely traveled since starting to have kids.

I'm SOO glad I traveled the world BEFORE I got married and become a mother. My only international trips since I becamse a mother was once to India to pick up a child and Niagara Falls this last year for an anniversary. I cannot wait for my kids to be old enough that I CAN travel again. I still have awhile left to get there.

GO, in your teens and 20s. Even the Pearl daughter got that much understanding out of life!!

[Just_Jane]

Getting caught in the rain isn't near as romantic as the movies make it out to be. Chattering teeth and the shivering tend to ruin the moment.

[dairyfreelife]

maybe it's just me, but I hate getting caught in the rain. I dislike the feeling of wet clothing sticking to my skin. It's so cold too, even in the summer. Unless it's a hot summer rain shower, it's miserable to me. All I wanna do is get somewhere warm and put on dry clothes. Movies make this seem so romantic and I think that's why these SAHDs see it that way too. All this magical thought and ideas regarding amazing kisses and love and men who shower them with faux concepts of romance and ride into the sunset with them after kissing in the rain really show how young they are in mind. I think I wanted those things maybe when I was like 12/13 and was naive to life, just was getting into ideas of love and romance and really started liking boys. 10 years later, I had no such concepts in my head and wasn't disappointed when love and the first real kiss came without any excitement or bells and whistles.

[LynnGrey]

If you are intending to be QF, then time to travel the world is NOW. Once you start popping out babies, it's IMPOSSIBLE to travel. I know, I had too many, too soon and have barely traveled since starting to have kids.

I'm SOO glad I traveled the world BEFORE I got married and become a mother. My only international trips since I becamse a mother was once to India to pick up a child and Niagara Falls this last year for an anniversary. I cannot wait for my kids to be old enough that I CAN travel again. I still have awhile left to get there.

GO, in your teens and 20s. Even the Pearl daughter got that much understanding out of life!!

Very true. I feel sorry for these girls that aren't exposed to the world at all and are expected to stay home until they get married. They never get a chance to live!

All I've ever wanted to do is travel the world. I haven't had the money to do it nearly as much as I would like, but I'm finally in a stable career and not planning to have kids, so travel is what I'll be spending my 30s and 40s doing!

[nokidsmom]

The SAHD blogs are so sad. I remember feeling that way (made a topic in Chatter about it. If it's your story, and your willing to share, I'd love to hear it.) Like I'm doing something wrong because the LORD hasn't given me my heart's desires (okay, mine weren't easily attainable, like nail polish and pearls; I was praying for a man in the per-Christian mingle days.)

If I had been denied personal fulfillment (school, work) on top of that? I think I would have had a breakdown. Really.

CW, that had to be a really tough time.

I don't know how these SAHD's do it and not go insane. My two younger sisters stayed at home until their mid 30's were just miserable. We weren't fundies but my folks were way overprotective and sheltering types. Both held down jobs and could go out with friends (approved by Mom and Dad, no kidding) but they were both waiting on Mr. Right, without benefit of dating, and were tasked with household help when not at work. It was a very dreary life. My youngest sister got seriously depressed and we (my husband and I) thought she was nearly suicidal. I can't imagine being able to do less than my sisters did or rather were allowed to do, and still keep it together.

[KO84]

Maybe "hanging pearls on the doorknob" is a euphemsim for sexytimes.

[Childless]

The best thing I ever did was put off having children until my mid-thirties. I did get to travel the world and I loved every minute of it. I still miss traveling and definitely plan to do more of it when my son gets older. During my entire twenties and early thirties, I got to focus on me. I was able to get a college education, build a career, travel, try new hobbies, party with friends, find out what my passions in life were, seek out new experiences, etc. without having to worry about a family. Those years of selfishness allowed me to be a better mother now. I'm willing to sacrifice for my son because I don't feel as if I missed out on other things. Those experiences molded me into the person my husband fell in love with and into the person I'm comfortable being. Why would anyone want to sit at their parents' house and watch their life pass by? You only get one shot at life, make the best of it. If you want to do something, get off your ass and do it! Make your dreams a reality. Don't wait for other people to do it for you.

[wild little fox]

The belief in an afterlife in paradise and perfection plays into a lot of this duty (storing up treasures in heaven and earning jewls for their crowns, etc) lack of effort to having a life now. After all, they believe there is more and they will be rewarded. Self-denial and JOY are ways to earn God's everlasting love and special favor. So what if one has a crappy life now when they get a glorious one in heaven?

[jjmennonite]

start selling photography and hair accessories - prov. 31:13, 24; rom. 12:4-8; 1 pet. 4:10

Here is proof that people can use the bible to say anything they want. (did not check those verses, but in all my years of studying the bible, I never saw anything about photography and hair accessories).

[EmmieJ]

Getting caught in the rain isn't near as romantic as the movies make it out to be. Chattering teeth and the shivering tend to ruin the moment.

LOL - so true. Another thing that isn't so great in real life is making love on the beach while waves wash over you. I don't care for sand in my private areas, nor salt water up my nose.

I do feel sorry for the children of fundies. Their whole lives are stunted and limited to a very narrow, usually harsh, vision of life. Less than stellar homeschooling ensures they are poorly educated, not to mention lacking in much social interaction with the rest of the world. It's not really surprising that a 20-year old woman in this situation would think hanging a string of pearls from her door would be something she can only hope to aspire to "one day."

[EmmieJ]

The best thing I ever did was put off having children until my mid-thirties. I did get to travel the world and I loved every minute of it. I still miss traveling and definitely plan to do more of it when my son gets older. During my entire twenties and early thirties, I got to focus on me. I was able to get a college education, build a career, travel, try new hobbies, party with friends, find out what my passions in life were, seek out new experiences, etc. without having to worry about a family. Those years of selfishness allowed me to be a better mother now. I'm willing to sacrifice for my son because I don't feel as if I missed out on other things.

[Closed Womb]

CW, that had to be a really tough time.

I don't know how these SAHD's do it and not go insane. My two younger sisters stayed at home until their mid 30's were just miserable. We weren't fundies but my folks were way overprotective and sheltering types. Both held down jobs and could go out with friends (approved by Mom and Dad, no kidding) but they were both waiting on Mr. Right, without benefit of dating, and were tasked with household help when not at work. It was a very dreary life. My youngest sister got seriously depressed and we (my husband and I) thought she was nearly suicidal. I can't imagine being able to do less than my sisters did or rather were allowed to do, and still keep it together.

In some ways it was rough, because I really, really believed. I mean, I believed that crying out to the LORD, prayer, prayer meetings, being in church every time the doors were open, etc., would please God and He would bless me.

But, in other ways it was okay. My life was nothing like the SAHDs we read about. I did live at home until later in life (moved out at 26) for financial reasons, but I came and went as I wanted, ate what I wanted, read/watched what I wanted, etc. I worked, had friends, went on vacations alone and with friends, did things my church thought was wrong but I couldn't find any evidence against in the Bible (such as drinking) and did not feel any guilt for it because I knew I was smart enough to understand the words within a book.

I can't imagine living like your sisters. Did they eventually marry out of the lifestyle or did they leave on their own?

[freejugar]

but she wears pants?

[nokidsmom]

In some ways it was rough, because I really, really believed. I mean, I believed that crying out to the LORD, prayer, prayer meetings, being in church every time the doors were open, etc., would please God and He would bless me.

But, in other ways it was okay. My life was nothing like the SAHDs we read about. I did live at home until later in life (moved out at 26) for financial reasons, but I came and went as I wanted, ate what I wanted, read/watched what I wanted, etc. I worked, had friends, went on vacations alone and with friends, did things my church thought was wrong but I couldn't find any evidence against in the Bible (such as drinking) and did not feel any guilt for it because I knew I was smart enough to understand the words within a book.

I can't imagine living like your sisters. Did they eventually marry out of the lifestyle or did they leave on their own?

I am glad to hear that you had freedom to do things like take vacations by yourself and that you did leave at 26. My sisters managed to take vacations with friends but it always had to be "approved" by my folks. Plus these friends were long term friends that my parents knew and so would give their "ok". Even to this day, I can't understand why they needed the approval, but then again, I was the "rebel" who told my folks at age 23 "love you Mom and Dad but it's time for me to go out and live my life".

In answer to your question, both did get married. Neither one ever entertained the idea of moving out on their own. One sister married someone from within the neighborhood and has always lived close by. My folks have been very involved in her life to the point that it has impacted her marriage and family life. They are still very much in control. So in that sense, she hasn't really left the lifestyle. My youngest sister, the one who was so depressed, moved 1300 miles away after her marriage, and her husband who is aware of the family issues, refuses to move back.

[ThisOlGirl]

The name "Ms. Mae" sounds more like a woman who runs a Wild West brothel than a Godly SAHD. I'll give you 3 guesses which one I'd rather hang out with.

Edited for clarity

[kiwimusume]

Maybe "hanging pearls on the doorknob" is a euphemsim for sexytimes.

That was what I thought. It totally sounded to me like an expensive version of people in college dorms hanging a tie or something over the doorknob to signal to their roommate that they're having sex.

maybe it's just me, but I hate getting caught in the rain. I dislike the feeling of wet clothing sticking to my skin. It's so cold too, even in the summer. Unless it's a hot summer rain shower, it's miserable to me. All I wanna do is get somewhere warm and put on dry clothes. Movies make this seem so romantic and I think that's why these SAHDs see it that way too.

This. Yuck.

[clarinetpower]

Maybe she meant hang The Pearls from the doorknob? ;-)

Aside: I've done many of those sexy/romantic things you see in movies. They're often cold, uncomfortable, gritty and result in too much friction. (Except the woods at the top of the hill on an island in Lake Itasca. That was awesome.)

[rachelsmith1989]

I do like the style of the blog (design, color, graphics, etc) but I think her themes each day need some more effort. I counted seven (yes, 7) bird centered graphics for January 1 alone. Don't get me wrong, I like any one of the prints…it's just that there's 7 in one blog post :shifty:

[penguinagogo]

ok Im glad

[penguinagogo]

sorry my message has disappeared. Ignore that last bit...