Just hide the damn candy

[Koala]

http://inashoe.com/2012/11/three-funnies-from-one-tired-mom/

There has been a bucket of candy in the pantry for the last month, and Parker is having a lot of trouble resisting the temptation. We leave the light off to discourage him, but it doesn’t work. The little boy who wakes terrified of the dark in his room every night loves to be in the pitch black pantry. Every time somebody opens the pantry door, he comes scurrying out like a little mouse. â€I not eat candy! I not eat candy!â€

After the first 96 candy raids and 95 swats, I realized there was a problem with this plan. He had obviously decided that a piece of candy was worth a swat, so I started making him spit it in the trash when he was caught in the act. This morning he came to me on his own, grinning as the chocolate drool ran down his chin: “I not eat candy, Mom. I spit it in the trash.â€

You know what this says to me? It says that Kim is either A. too stupid or B. too lazy to figure out that putting the damn candy out of reach would be infinitely better than repeatedly hitting her child. You know what else it says? Hitting children doesn't work. Take note fundie mamas.

[IceQueen]

That is so strange to me. Hello don't keep the candy where he can find it! Hello! When the mini guy learned he can reach where I keep the snacks they were moved to higher ground. And candy is kept out of sight from mama as well...

[lilith]

When I read this I thought it was weird that when she was smacking him she was letting him keep the candy. I wouldn't smack my kids for getting into the lollies, but I certainly wouldn't let them enjoy the illicit sweets.

[doggie]

I doubt she is doing the work. that's what her servants are for. I mean her daughters excuse me.

[YPestis]

The easiest thing to do would be to leave the candy out of reach of the youngest children. It's just as good to tell Parker he can't have candy except when Mom say so and leave the candy somewhere he can't get at. For any punishment to be effective, the consequence has to feel worse than the misbehavior. Parker obviously feels the swats he received each time was worth the price of the candy. However, I don't think this is because the swatting itself is an ineffective mode of punishment.

I grew up in China and spankings were pretty common. However, like non-physical punishment, spanking can be as effective or non-effective depending on how parents wield that consequence. The effective parents I saw were ones who gave real spankings but did so rarely. It was a threat that was always there but rarely given. I know many on this board is anti-spanking. However, I am neutral on this point. I come from a culture from which virtually all parents spanked their young child (even if it was only a few swats) therefore I don't equate a spanking parent as automatically abusive.

In the blogger's case, I wonder if he was constantly given swats for everything or maybe they were symbolic and so Parker kept coming back. The most effective parents were ones who can impress upon kids the severity of their punishment if they misbehaved. I think this woman maybe need to change her consequence if she is still seeing the same misbehavior.

[Koala]

The easiest thing to do would be to leave the candy out of reach of the youngest children. It's just as good to tell Parker he can't have candy except when Mom say so and leave the candy somewhere he can't get at. For any punishment to be effective, the consequence has to feel worse than the misbehavior. Parker obviously feels the swats he received each time was worth the price of the candy. However, I don't think this is because the swatting itself is an ineffective mode of punishment.

I grew up in China and spankings were pretty common. However, like non-physical punishment, spanking can be as effective or non-effective depending on how parents wield that consequence. The effective parents I saw were ones who gave real spankings but did so rarely. It was a threat that was always there but rarely given. I know many on this board is anti-spanking. However, I am neutral on this point. I come from a culture from which virtually all parents spanked their young child (even if it was only a few swats) therefore I don't equate a spanking parent as automatically abusive.

In the blogger's case, I wonder if he was constantly given swats for everything or maybe they were symbolic and so Parker kept coming back. The most effective parents were ones who can impress upon kids the severity of their punishment if they misbehaved. I think this woman maybe need to change her consequence if she is still seeing the same misbehavior.

An adult hitting a child is never effective. I don't know what you mean by "real spankings", but I assume you mean hitting hard. Disgusting.

Studies have linked "spanking" with mental health issues later in life. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against it as well.

[Turtle]

http://inashoe.com/2012/11/three-funnies-from-one-tired-mom/

You know what this says to me? It says that Kim is either A. too stupid or B. too lazy to figure out that putting the damn candy out of reach would be infinitely better than repeatedly hitting her child. You know what else it says? Hitting children doesn't work. Take note fundie mamas.

I can't fathom hitting my kid almost a hundred times. Over candy. That I was too fucking stupid to move out of his reach. And then make that information public on my blog. Idiot.

I'm also kinda paranoid about choking. I won't let my little kids eat hard candy when I'm not watching, or leave it out where they might get it. Maybe I'm over-protective in that regard?

[Koala]

I can't fathom hitting my kid almost a hundred times. Over candy. That I was too fucking stupid to move out of his reach. And then make that information public on my blog. Idiot.

I'm also kinda paranoid about choking. I won't let my little kids eat hard candy when I'm not watching, or leave it out where they might get it. Maybe I'm over-protective in that regard?

I am the same way. Hard candy and those gummie things.

[Jessica]

Keep the candies out of sight, away where he can't even look for them and possibly find them. This is what I do. When I decide that he can have a treat, I go and get it when he's occupied with something else. I don't let him see that there are multiples (such as a sleeve of Oreos or a whole pack of gum). He gets the ONE I give him, and when I give it to him, I say they're all gone. No hitting needed.

[DarkAnts]

Its time to learn to pick your battles, and learn that child "training" is not effective. Parker sounds like a smart little kid. He has learned that having candy is worth the punishment even if you have to spit it out. You still get the sweet flavor for a few seconds.

[Minerva]

Why move the illicit and possibly dangerous object out of your kid's reach when you can just smack the Hell outta them? *cough Elle cough*

Seriously lady, you've been outsmarted by a small child.

[CrazySister]

Hmmm, so Junior gets beat for every slight infraction that he's even going up to you and showing you what he's doing. Yep, clearly your parenting style is effective for...o wait, it's NOT effective since you beat your so-called "blessings" for even the slightest infraction that the beatings are now completely USELESS! Stupid mother. Feel sad for the kid.

[Someonetocall]

I'm also kinda paranoid about choking. I won't let my little kids eat hard candy when I'm not watching, or leave it out where they might get it. Maybe I'm over-protective in that regard?

As long as your kids are not middle schoolers or university aged or something, I think it's called "parenting" more then over-protective.

[DarkAnts]

Hmmm, so Junior gets beat for every slight infraction that he's even going up to you and showing you what he's doing. Yep, clearly your parenting style is effective for...o wait, it's NOT effective since you beat your so-called "blessings" for even the slightest infraction that the beatings are now completely USELESS! Stupid mother. Feel sad for the kid.

I hope she never breaks that kids spirit. He would stand a chance out in the real world since he is clearly smarter then his mother at such a young age.

[Levon]

This is kidlet number 10 or 11, right? Maybe it's time for a new rod. (Or does each child receive his or her own, like a receiving blanket, when they're born??)

[DarkAnts]

This is kidlet number 10 or 11, right? Maybe it's time for a new rod. (Or does each child receive his or her own, like a receiving blanket, when they're born??)

Time for logical consequences to bad behavior. For instance, the child will not get to share in the the next time the family treat if they sneaked sweets. You may want to time the family treat so its within a day or two of the last offense so the chid has some relocation of the event.

[socalrules]

Anyone else think she is just setting him up so that she has a reason to swat him? This is like the whole blanket training thing, create circumstances you know will lead your child to fail the test. Then you can punish them for disobedience. Common sense would say move the candy after the first or second time.

[celestial]

I can't fathom hitting my kid almost a hundred times. Over candy. That I was too fucking stupid to move out of his reach. And then make that information public on my blog. Idiot.

A hundred times over the last month, no less! That's several times a day, and this child is only 2! :cry:

[DarkAnts]

Anyone else think she is just setting him up so that she has a reason to swat him? This is like the whole blanket training thing, create circumstances you know will lead your child to fail the test. Then you can punish them for disobedience. Common sense would say move the candy after the first or second time.

I think its part of his "training".

[Guest Anonymous]

An adult hitting a child is never effective. I don't know what you mean by "real spankings", but I assume you mean hitting hard. Disgusting.

Studies have linked "spanking" with mental health issues later in life. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against it as well.

For me, this is a situation where I would draw on the old saying from Maya Angelou - "When you know better you do better."

I grew up in the UK in the 70s, where it was also common to hit children, as a form of discipline. I don't consider my parents to be abusers, but I don't consider them to have been particularly great parents in that respect, either. They did what they did because they were ignorant of better ways.

Now that we know so much more about the long-term negative effects of hitting children, and in a time and culture where we have so many formal and informal resources available to us on positive non-violent discipline, I find it utterly incomprehensible that parents still choose or condone violence as a valid option . :shock:

[Conuly]

Well, it didn't take long to turn into a spanking debate. Good job, everybody!

With that said, your choices with regard to candy are either to put it away (Christians ask God not to lead them into temptation, and it sounds like a good plan for parents as well) or loosen up over the subject and let your kid eat the candy so it's inherently not so tempting. Either method can work, but this one clearly doesn't. What was that definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results?

[Guest Anonymous]

Why is there a bucket of candy in their pantry? A bucket of candy? Is it old Halloween candy? Is it for baking? Or is it just there the boy will try to eat it?

[itsnikki05]

Keep the candies out of sight, away where he can't even look for them and possibly find them. This is what I do. When I decide that he can have a treat, I go and get it when he's occupied with something else. I don't let him see that there are multiples (such as a sleeve of Oreos or a whole pack of gum). He gets the ONE I give him, and when I give it to him, I say they're all gone. No hitting needed.

Exactly. It's not rocket science, y'all! Spanking her child over candy. Ridiculous.

[Deleted03]

you can't really expect a four year old to resist candy that is within his reach IMO. Sugar is addictive and the poor thing has it right in front of his nose. Meh. She is just so lazy, waiting for him to come by her so she can take 2 sec to spank and raise her hands "my what a sinner you are"

[MrsYoungie]

A *bucket* of candy in the house? All the time? Why? We never kept candy in the house at all - except Halloween. I have seen (usually on one of the overweight intervention type shows) where some families have a whole cupboard full of nothing but treats and snack food, so maybe other people do keep a lot of junk food in the home.

But the idea that her 2 year old can reach it and take some whenever he wants means 2 things to me: She is not watching him like a hawk (as is required for all 2 year olds) and she is DEFRAUDING him with the candy. Right?

Does she keep a stripper in the closet and tell her husband to not touch?