Mainstream Homeschool Blogger: Girls are happier as SAHM

[dramallama]

ISFJ here, calling bullshit. More power to those of you that want to do it, but being a SAHM sounds like a living nightmare to me. Then again, I'm not having kids at all!

[Rowan]

Checking in for the INFPs. :-) My F is on the weaker side IIRC.

I have wanted kids all of my life and am really hearing the clock ticking. I'd like to stay home with them just because I can't imagine leaving them and I had such a great experience with my SAHM. But I also know without that mental and social interaction, I'd be toast. Part-time would be a good compromise for me if the future hubby (whoever he is) agrees and it's feasible.

[Kaylee]

My type has changed as I've gotten older. From my teens through my college years, I always scored pretty firmly as INTJ, then my results shifted toward ISTJ and occasionally ISFJ. In the past few years, I've gotten a few P results as well but it seems like a different type every type every time I take it.

I hate personality test anyway, especially for jobs, because I feel like the person I am at work is usually very different from the person I am at home. I'm naturally very shy and introverted, laid back, accommodating to the point of almost being passive, and the one always trying to get people to get along. At work, I am usually much more driven and tend to be described as dominant, assertive, ambitious, etc. I get really crazy "high D" results on the DISC profile, which usually shocks people who haven't worked with me (or getting into a political argument with me, as that side seems to come out then, too).

As far as being a SAHM, I dunno. I have been for almost 3 years now, but I don't really think I'm cut out for it. I miss working and/or being in college. I feel like I'm a total slacker as a mom and while it appeals to my lazy side, I think I should be doing more and would probably be a better mom and have more quality time with my son if I did have a job that pushed me to be more active with my life. I love being able to be with my son all day, but it does seem like I've sort of stagnated as a person and that I would be a better mom if I'd get off my ass a bit and work on being a better me first.

[Talitha Cumi]

Another INFP! I'm all about the emotions and figuring out what drives people. And I couldn't be a SAHM, or a mom of any type, really. I'm a great aunt, but I would be miserable as a mother. I wouldn't mind being a SAHW, though. At least for a while. I had 2 days off while Mr. Cumi was at work last week, and it was amazing! He usually cooks, because he gets home first, but this time *I* got to cook, and it was so much fun. And he said I'm better at it than he is. Which is true. Not because I have breasts, just because I am a good cook.

[ems]

Where are the other INFPs...? Waaaaahhhh...

*Waves* INFP, although the P/J is the most flexible for me.

[Bloo]

I'm apparently an ISTJ. I used to always test INTJ so apparently I've changd over the years. To be fair though the ISTJ result is once whereas the ISTJ was multiple times, but the ISTJ is more recent.

Regardless though, I think that test is fun, interesting, but certainly not the end all be all. No personality test can tell you your fate in my opinion and Myers-Briggs is no exception.

Oh hai! Me too. I used to be INTJ but apparently now I test as ISTJ.

Uhm, I'm a teacher who also works part time in a church. I'm not a stay at home mom (kind of hard to do that when I've got no kids, though I bet the cat would like it!) but I'm hardly "corporate." I hate this idea that fundies have that all working women wear power suits and clutch briefcases. Great for those who do, but those jobs are a minority, I'd expect.

[jenny_islander]

Uhm, I'm a teacher who also works part time in a church. I'm not a stay at home mom (kind of hard to do that when I've got no kids, though I bet the cat would like it!) but I'm hardly "corporate." I hate this idea that fundies have that all working women wear power suits and clutch briefcases. Great for those who do, but those jobs are a minority, I'd expect.

Fundies get a lot of their ideas about life from TV (20-30 years late, of course) even as they wring their hands over the evils of popular media. The most famous TV working women in the '80s and '90s were polished, professional, and tense, so that's what they think all working women are like.

My personal journey has led me to the life of a SAHM with a part-time job that pays my personal expenses. I did the full-time office thing for years and generally hated it. Because I couldn't make myself like it, I was never very good at it. Now I homeschool, teach Sunday school, work part time for pay, and keep a house, and I feel much happier. But here's the thing: This all applies to me and only to me.

Also, I finally found my dream professional career in my mid '20s: folklorist. Unfortunately getting a degree in folklore studies won't be feasible for many years, if ever.

[duplessis3]

how many high powere careers are there? why is the choice between being the head of ebay or being a sahm?

[JesusFightClub]

how many high powere careers are there? why is the choice between being the head of ebay or being a sahm?

An excellent question and one which is rarely asked.

I have forgone having kids because

1. I'm not maternal enough

2. I'm a political activist which involves unpredictable hours

3. I am...not fated to not being arrested. Which can be, er, very sudden. And when I say sudden, I'm talking about eight coppers bursting your door down sudden.

4. I am an utterly boring bastard. I can about sit through episodes of Peppa Pig, but I'm much more likely to show a small child YouTubes of guns firing. And ask her to tell me the differences in firing pattern.

5. I'm bipolar and sleeping on a floor. Tell me how many kids this would be good for.

None of these involve vast riches or being a CEO. Strangely.

It's like, if you're female, you JUST OUGHT TO because YOU HAVE A VAGINA AND A UTERUS. I have always found this very weird, and wonder if fundies really want someone like me to procreate just because I'm 31 and have lady parts.

[Carla Bruni]

It's like, if you're female, you JUST OUGHT TO because YOU HAVE A VAGINA AND A UTERUS. I have always found this very weird, and wonder if fundies really want someone like me to procreate just because I'm 31 and have lady parts.

The short answer is yes. I've faced this from a non-fundie perspective - some of my friends and many of my family members in Russia, most of whom are not religious in the slightest, explicitly state that ALL women MUST want children. If they do not, they are either a) sick, twisted, insane, and in need of hospitalization; or b) just not emotionally mature enough to realize that they want children, but that day will come, fear not! For the longest time, I didn't want children at all, and this only began changing very recently (honestly, for purely selfish reasons - I've now seen examples of women I admire having kids and having fun with them, so I'm like, okay, maybe I can consider this later). Unfortunately, admitting that it's changed opened me up to an endless barrage of "SEEEEEE! SEEEEE!!! WE TOLD YOU!!!!! Now you have seen the light!". It's unbearable. It's usually followed up with "women without children are just so... sad. It's like their anatomy is just waiting to break free from the insanity they have imposed upon it." Yes, yes, that's exactly how it works.

I once came home from an evening out with these child-obsessed people and began venting to my mom that they were telling me time is running out and I'm still unmarried (I was 24). My mom attempted to calm me down with the words "oh, honey, what's 24? 24 is nothing! At 24 I was just going through my first divorce!" ... Thanks, Mom.

[NurseNell]

I question several parts of this, but it strangely bothers me the most that she thinks you go to typical medical school for opthamology. You do go through four years of general medical study, but you actually do most of it through a opthamology school. It's tailored. Most people who decide to go into opthamology decide it beforehand and choose schools based on that concentration.*

That and I'm pretty sure the top choice for women is still pediatrics. I wonder where she's getting this information. Out of her butt would be my knee jerk reaction, but I'm pretty sure there are fundie based research "projects".

*my neighbor is an opthamologist. I asked :)

An ophthalmologist is a medical doctor. He or she does 4 years pre-med, 4 years of medical school, and the a residency. The length of the residency depends on whether one wants to specialize, such as a retina specialist, ocular oncologist, etc. An optometrist has 4 years of college, then 4 years of studying in a school of optometry. An optometrist can prescribe lenses. They cannot do surgery on the eye, cannot treat diseases of the retina, glaucoma, ocular melanoma, and any of a multitude of eye conditions.

[JesusFightClub]

The short answer is yes. I've faced this from a non-fundie perspective - some of my friends and many of my family members in Russia, most of whom are not religious in the slightest, explicitly state that ALL women MUST want children. If they do not, they are either a) sick, twisted, insane, and in need of hospitalization; or b) just not emotionally mature enough to realize that they want children, but that day will come, fear not! For the longest time, I didn't want children at all, and this only began changing very recently (honestly, for purely selfish reasons - I've now seen examples of women I admire having kids and having fun with them, so I'm like, okay, maybe I can consider this later). Unfortunately, admitting that it's changed opened me up to an endless barrage of "SEEEEEE! SEEEEE!!! WE TOLD YOU!!!!! Now you have seen the light!". It's unbearable. It's usually followed up with "women without children are just so... sad. It's like their anatomy is just waiting to break free from the insanity they have imposed upon it." Yes, yes, that's exactly how it works.

I once came home from an evening out with these child-obsessed people and began venting to my mom that they were telling me time is running out and I'm still unmarried (I was 24). My mom attempted to calm me down with the words "oh, honey, what's 24? 24 is nothing! At 24 I was just going through my first divorce!" ... Thanks, Mom.

It's a nightmare, isn't it! And if your feelings do change (I can't imagine mine will) why shouldn't you have that autonomy?

I honestly long for the day women aren't supposed to see impregnation as their main goal in life. If they decide they want it to be, like any goal, people should say "Great! That's really positive for you!" And that is it.

[salsa]

I'm ENFP... *checks to make sure* yep. I'm a woman. sucks for me that I'm not suited to my calling.